Limerence : Part 19
Could a mere hug mend the broken fragments of your life? It seemed whimsical and unreal. Yet that is exactly what Arnav was feeling in the moment. The warmth seeping into his rigid body, from the frail woman in his arms... felt like home. He pulled her closer into himself and when she made no move to break away, he took in a relaxing breath, taking in a lungful of her essence. The subtle floral scent at the base of her neck, her soft curls tickling his nose as he nuzzled in and the cocoon of her love, everything made him sigh in relief. His past forgotten and the future unimportant. Only the present remained steady between them, pulsating with life, dreams and a hope of everything bright.
It seemed like an eternity of this halo of protection, as Arnav moved away, suddenly feeling devoid of her warmth. Surprisingly she didn't look flustered. Instead, there were a million questions swirling in her eyes... the answers to which were agonizing and hurtful. He had never felt the urge to talk about his problems to anyone. Even with his maasi, she had to probe him time and again to make him open upto her. But for the first time in his life, he felt this strong need to tell Khushi everything that he had been holding close to his heart, all these years. He knew he was in love with her. But was he ready to share his burden? Could he let her into the deepest crevices of his heart? Would she be able to heal some of those wounds, which had burst open in the last few days? He wasn't sure about any of these questions that plagued his mind. However, he knew that he wanted to try... to let Khushi in and take his chance at happiness.
Taking a deep breath, he moved to one of the pool chairs and slumped onto it. "Khushi, like you must be thinking... I am not an orphan. My mother is alive," he whispered. He heard her soft gasp, floating over the soft breeze, rustling at the poolside. Not having the courage to look into her eyes, he shut his own, drawing in some inner strength to relive those horrible memories. "I was eight years old, when my mother demanded a divorce from my father and she left us... both of us. Theirs was an arranged marriage, mainly arranged to extend both their families' business relations into something more. Unfortunately, my mother never fell in love with my father while he loved her with all his heart," he scoffed sarcastically.
"She left me Khushi... without even thinking of her young son. She said, my existence only pushed her decision further for a few years, to get out of the marriage. She said I was a bloody mistake, dammit!" he bit out angrily. Khushi rushed to sit besides him and held his hand within hers... trying to impart her silent support. What could she say, that would soothe his hurt and placate his anger? It seemed like it had been ages since he had opened his heart to anyone, and she decided to let him talk... let him pour out his frustrations and angst. She knew the importance of it. Sharing your burdens did make you feel lighter. Wasn't it only a few days ago that he had lent her his silent support?
Arnav still refused to look at her, although he was thankful for the warmth her hand provided. He continued hoarsely, "We managed just fine without her. My father took over all the responsibilities of being my mother. He made sure to never let me feel that void... a gaping hole in the life of a small boy. But I knew Khushi... that he was a broken man himself. I had walked in on him innumerous times, just ambling through the rooms of our home, at ungodly hours of the night. I had seen him sob in front of their wedding album. He loved her... deeply... truly. But she never looked back. Never even called to check on us... on me. I would lie if I said that I did not care. The small and stupid boy that I was, I waited for her call Khushi... on my birthday's, on the days my results used to be announced, on festivals and basically... every freaking day. But she did not call. Not once."
He took in a fractured breath as a tear rolled down his cheek. Khushi's heart twisted in her chest seeing the pain he was braving to relive those memories. She knew how tough it was, to live with such a baggage, to be snatched away from the happiness you deserved and to give up your childhood and innocence, much before it was time. She kneeled in front of him, holding onto both his hands now, urging him to look at her. As his brown eyes clashed with hers, she gasped at the torment swirling within them. Arnav Singh Raizada, a man who was always in control, so strong and bold... seemed like a lost child, unaware of what he had to do. His name sputtered from her lips in broken whisper, "Arnavji..." Were there any words that could bring peace to a broken heart? Did such words even exist that could mend fragments of someone's life to heal them into a whole?
Arnav reveled in the care and concern that shone in the hazel eyes he had come to love. There was no pity or sympathy like he was used to. There was acceptance and somehow a companionship he knew only Khushi could provide him. Her past was somewhat similar to his, but far worse. How had she survived through this heartbreak? She was strong, he knew. But was she strong enough to face his past as well? Why did talking to her feel like therapy? Why was it so easy to bear his heart and soul to her? Love... did love bring about this change? But then his father had loved his mother too... and all that his father got in return was heartbreak and a lifetime of grief. Would he be able to love her freely... without doubting... without expecting? His heart and mind remained at war, while words refused to contain themselves anymore.
"Lucknow was our home Khushi. This is the city that destroyed my dreams... just like yours. It broke my family and snatched away my father. It ruined everything I cherished in my life and I am here once again... to get back at it for this treachery," he whispered. "You are so brave Arnavji that despite all your sorrows, you have stood by me like a strong wall, protecting me from the ghosts of my past. Why did you not tell me Arnavji? Even Nanheji or Payal did not mention about this. Do they know how difficult it is for you to be here?" Khushi asked softly, not being able to think straight. If she could, she would easily take in all his sorrows, willing to see her brave Arnavji take charge of things again.
He smiled through his tears for the first time this evening, reminiscing about the generous Mittals. "Manorama maasi, my mother's real sister yet so unlike her. She would visit me in Lucknow every weekend; take me to Delhi during my school vacations to get me involved with various activities. Her love and care was the only reason I do not hate the female race. As I started growing up, I realized that as much as there were selfish women like my mother, there were mothers like maasi as well. Earlier I used to be jealous of Akash and NK, jealous of how lucky they were with life. But then things again took a drastic turn in my life, leading me right into the house of Mittals," he said somberly.
His expressions changed again, his face hardening at an ugly memory. Khushi strengthened her hold onto his trembling fingers, hoping that she was imparting atleast a little bit of strength to this lost child. He stared at the shimmering pool, dazed and hypnotized. The words tumbled out of his mouth as if in a trance, "My father gathered himself after my mother left us. His sole aim became to give me the world. He took charge of his existing company and promoted his best friend from a mere employee to a business partner. A man, who had been with him through his college days, became the driving force of their business. It became a huge hit and in a few years, it flourished into one of the topmost in India. Dad was happy to immerse himself in work. It kept him away from the memories of my mother. While I diverted my focus to my studies; and kept my father company in his free time. I was fourteen years old, when suddenly one day my father collapsed in front of my eyes... never to wake up again."
Arnav shut his eyes remembering the agony of that horrible moment in his life. It was the last time he had felt helpless. The hours that had followed were like a nightmare... the worst of its kind. Khushi once again sat besides him and clutched onto his arm, tears flowing down her cheeks freely. She could not imagine the pain of losing a loved one. She dreaded to even think of what he must have gone through. She felt helpless and inadequate to be able to heal him. "A few days later I came to know from Manohar maasa that my father's best friend had cheated him. Sneakily, he had transferred all the company shares onto his name and left my father completely bankrupt. It was this treachery that had caused the heart attack. I then remembered the spat my father had with uncle on that fateful night. It was within days, that I felt I had grown up a decade."
"Everything that followed seems like a blur to me, Khushi. I was left homeless and penniless. Maasi refused to let anyone take me to their home and insisted that she would take my complete responsibility. Manohar maasa supported her in her decision. That is how I turned up to live with the Mittal's who since then, have loved me like their own. Akash, NK and me bonded like real brothers and their respect towards me is truly astonishing. A small fund that my dad had in my name, helped me finish my studies and Manohar mama, took the biggest risk of his life, by dissolving his business to support my dreams. Whatever I am today, I owe it to them Khushi. All of me!" he said solemnly.
Khushi looked up at him through tear-filled eyes and said, "Your father would be proud of you Arnavji. I am sure he would have been extremely happy to see the man you have turned out to be." Arnav looked at her for the first time becoming aware of their closeness. Her luminous eyes brimming with respect, gave him hope. Her bright smile that contradicted with the shiny tears in her eyes, gave him strength to face what he had set out for. How could she be so sure of him? But then that was Khushi. She had always trusted him with all her heart. Did he truly deserve this trust? Would he be able to stand true to it all? Or would he break her heart like his mother did? After all he did have her genes.
"If this city is so painful for you Arnavji... why are you back here? Why did you choose Sheesh Mahal as the venue, for this fashion show?" Khushi asked, not being able to comprehend his reasons for this sudden outburst and reminiscing the past. He sighed in resignation and tightened his grip over her magically soothing fingers and said, "I am taking over what was mine Khushi. I am here to destroy the man who broke my fathers trust. This fashion show was a mere distraction for me, to keep my mind involved in something other than the big meeting I have tomorrow. After my mom left, his business was all dad had to survive. A second heartbreak from his best friend was like the final blow and now I want to make sure I get back, what was rightfully mine."
Khushi finally saw the glimpses of ASR, the man who was always in control. Be it his life or anyone else's. She felt immense pride in him and the way he dealt with things. Even though he was broken at the moment, one could clearly understand his strength and clarity at work front. This is exactly what had attracted her initially, his passion for work and compassion towards others. Her admiration halted in its tracks when he spoke again. "The woman who walked in right now... I know you saw her Khushi," he smirked looking at her flustered face. The smirk was wiped off as quickly as it had come, to be replaced by a distasteful frown.
"She is his daughter... Sheetal Kapoor, the heiress of the Kapoor Empire. Rude, arrogant and completely spoilt, I had got a background check done on her and was astounded to see the kind of crazy things she indulges in. However, I was absolutely not prepared for her coming onto me so strong," Arnav said with extreme disgust. "Anyways, what are you doing here Khushi? Is the party that boring or were you disturbed too? Is something bothering you?" he asked with a little worry in his voice.
Khushi shook her head at his concern. What was this man made of? He was the one silently suffering through his personal issues and here he was, asking her if she was fine! "Main theek hoon Arnavji. I actually came here to look out for you. I don't know why, but I sensed something was wrong... as if something was bothering you. I am just glad to be there for you Arnavji... like you have been there for me. It is surprising to see how similar our lives are. My father refused to acknowledge my existence and your mother ruthlessly abandoned you. And to think of it, it all began in this very city of Lucknow. It seems like life has come a full circle, to a point from where all we have to do is start afresh. By the way, what is the name of the man you are going to meet tomorrow?" she asked a little anxiously. The surname Kapoor, had scarred her heart for this lifetime atleast.
"Rakesh Kapoor, the owner of RK Group of Industries. He was my father's best friend. The one who had pampered me since childh... Khushi!!! Khushi!!" Arnav panicked seeing Khushi's ashen face. Her shoulders slumped in defeat with tears rolling down her cheeks. He pulled her into his arms, dreading to think of her sudden torment. Pushing her away from himself for a moment, he cupped her face in his hands and asked gently, "What is it Khushi? Baat karo mujhse? Why are you crying?" Choking on her tears, muffling a sob, Khushi asked, "Is he the same Rakesh Kapoor, who worked at Maya Enterprise?"
Arnav's heart thudded in his chest, fearing the implication of her question. Oh f**k! "Maya was my mother's name. My dad had dedicated his business to her, despite never having been loved back. After Rakesh Kapoor deviously took over, he changed the name to RK Group. Khushi..." he could not manage to form the obvious question. His heart hurt at seeing Khushi so broken. What was destiny playing at? What a twisted play of fate! Taking in a deep breath, Khushi whispered, "The man who killed your father, is my father, Arnavji." She broke into sobs, the sorrow, the scars and the pain of a lifetime feeling anew.
She had hated the man since she had known the truth about him... about her existence. She had shunned him out of her life and refused to call him her father. But then she could not deny that they shared the same blood. His treachery towards her mother was something she had accepted for a long time now. However, to know that her father was a fraud... he was a man with no ethics and did not value either friendship or love... really hurt. A few moments back she was trying to bring Arnav out of his despair, trying her best to make him smile. However, within seconds her world had turned upside down. With the kind of luck that she had, what did she really had to offer to a man, who had only but ever given her? Even now, he was the one trying to ease her pain. When would she ever be able to return this favor?
As if he could read her thoughts, Arnav moved closer and holding her trembling hands within his, he said with remarkable conviction, "No Khushi. No! You are not his daughter. You are the daughter of a genuinely beautiful woman, whose warmth and affection has been your inheritance. You are the daughter of that woman, who had battled against the world to keep you safe and healthy, given you every happiness that she could and made you into this strong and talented woman. You are her daughter and she is mighty proud of you. Don't taint her love by attaching that man's name to you or her." Khushi looked at him thorough teary eyes. How could he say the exact things that she wanted to hear? How could his mere presence bring in such comfort in her most desolate times?
Taking in a deep breath, Arnav continued, "Rakesh Kapoor is a scum. He disrespected your mother's love and deceived my father's friendship. It is that man, who has wronged and he is the only one, who will suffer. I think we both are done with carrying this unnecessary baggage of our past. We have suffered for far too long and let this selfish and ruthless world dictate us. Tomorrow, Rakesh Kapoor will have to pay for his sins and I will make sure of that. I need this closure, and so do you Khushi. Will you come with me for this meeting?"
Khushi wiped her tears listening to Arnav's words. A charge ran through her veins, at the insinuation behind them. He was right. Rakesh Kapoor never mattered. The moment he had denied to have had any relationship with her mother, things had ended then and there. It would be disrespecting her mother's love to give Rakesh Kapoor, even the slightest of importance in her life. Her life suddenly seemed to have been altered into the correct perspective. Never had she been this sure of what she needed to do. And it had all come down to a city she hated the most... Lucknow.
Clearing her dry throat she said, "I will not come with you to the meeting Arnav. It is your battle and I am sure you will win it hands down against the man who has been a sore loser all along. I would be doing great injustice to my amma, to even acknowledge that man's existence. I do not want to give him any pleasure to demean or taunt me... because frankly, he does not matter at all. He never was anything to me and he never will be." Taking in a deep breath she continued in a much calmer tone, "Thank you Arnavji for everything you have done for me. The last few minutes of my life seemed to have altered me. I feel liberated and for the first time, genuinely happy. I came here with the intention of supporting you, but like always it was you, who has been the voice of reason for me. Thank you so much."
Arnav stood up, pulling her along with him and said teasingly, "Khushi, if you say thank you once again, I swear I will push you in the pool." Khushi's eyes widened in surprise and not being able to understand the sudden shift in conversation, she mumbled incoherently, "Par humein tairna nahi aata Arnavji." For a moment there was pin drop silence, as Arnav and Khushi stared at each other. And in the next moment, Arnav burst into laughter... a genuine, heartfelt laughter... the sound of which was alien to even his own ears. She gawked at him, her heart thrilling at the beautiful sight in front of her. The fact that she... or her stupidity to be precise, could make him smile, was extremely pleasing.
He stopped to breathe, the air surrounding them suddenly charging up with the intimacy they always felt in each other's presence. Holding onto her hand, he pulled her closer and leaned in to breathe in her comforting scent. "I promise to never let you drown, Khushi." His soft whisper against her ear was her undoing. These few words held a lot of promises combined into one... something that she had never dreamt of or hoped for. The way he looked at her, made her feel cherished. What was he hinting at and how should she respond?
Before she could clear her head from the haze that always surrounded them, he pulled away and said, "But for now, lets get you back into the party. I am sure your bodyguards would be on the prowl, searching heaven and earth... especially the very popular and talented designer of ARD, Ms Dracula." Khushi giggled and followed him towards the door. A lot of revelations had happened in the past hour and she knew, both of them needed time to come to terms with them. Now, they not only shared a scarred past with this city... but also with a man who Arnav was planning to destroy. That thought stilled her in her tracks, as she asked the one question he always asked her. "Aap theek toh hai na Arnavji?"
He turned around to look at her. She looked divine and breathtaking. His inner gloom had overpowered all of his thoughts. However, now, he felt liberated and content... more confident of what he was about to do. He needed to tell Khushi what he felt for her. But that would be after he had completely wiped off Rakesh Kapoor from his life. A plan had already been set into motion in his head and the mere thought of it, brought a huge smile on his face. He knew his smile confused Khushi further and the only way to clear her doubt was by leaning in and dropping a tender kiss on her forehead. "I am now," he whispered, slipping his fingers into hers, lacing them together, to walk past the silence and peace of the poolside into the chaotic exuberance of a success party that was meant for them.
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