Thank you for your lovely comments beautifuls. Here is the third part, I couldn't finish it so there will be one more part to conclude this FS. I have no idea what I have done to this part, writing this on different days just makes me forget where I was taking this story. Hope you enjoy this. MWAH <3 P.S. PM's will have to wait till tomorrow <3
Chapter Three
"Mr Khan, you are unbelievable. I thought I was crazy but you are just..." Zoya failed to find words to describe this other side to him.
"Amazing?" He completed her sentence, laughing. Zoya made a face shaking her head in a no.
"Just..."
"Just as crazy?" He rubbed his neck. She nodded at him. He chuckled.
"Full of life" She looked back at him coming towards the front door. "Thank you for today, I haven't laughed so much in a long time. Really appreciate the time you have given me today." She completely faced him with a peaceful smile on her face.
"I have only given you my time, and in return you have given me your friendship and your smile. We're equal." He replied removing the house keys from his pocket.
"You have given me much more than that today Mr Khan, you know that very well." She put her hand out for the keys; he placed it in her palm meeting her calm eyes.
"I just want to see you happy Miss Farooqui, and know that, if you ever need me. I'll be here" He moved his hand back from hers.
"Don't make promises Mr Khan, you don't know when you may have to live up to them" She laughed opening the front door and entering his house.
"This one I want to live forever" He whispered softly behind her, she turned around and motioned her head; did you say something? "Churros?" He joked, Zoya burst out laughing remembering their interaction at the restaurant earlier. Dilshad looked up from the sofa and found the two of them in their own worlds laughing away.
"You're back" Dilshad's voice interrupted them; Zoya glanced back at Dilshad before looking back at Asad with teary eyes. Seeing his face, she burst out laughing again. "What happened, why are you laughing?" She asked her, her eyes went over her son and then Zoya. Zoya sat down next to her wrapping her arm over her shoulder.
"Phoopie, your son is absolutely crazy." She shook her head trying to stop herself from laughing. "I'm just going to get changed" She looked down at her muddy pants. Dilshad nodded caressing her head. Zoya smiled walking towards her room and closing the door behind her.
"She looks happy doesn't she?" Asad stared towards her door; Dilshad looked up at him, surprised.
"She does because she is finally allowing herself to heal. I'm guessing you didn't go into work today" Asad's eyes moved down towards his mother whose questioning eyes made him look away.
"No erm, I" Asad failed to find words, "Miss Farooqui looked like she needed company" He told his mother.
"I'm glad you didn't" She got up and placed her hand on his cheek. "You have put a smile on her face. I hope it stays on her face permanently." He nodded along with her. "You go freshen up, I'll just warm up some food for you both."
"We have eaten." Asad said meekly. Dilshad looked surprised walking away towards the kitchen; Asad brushed his hair not understanding his mother's reaction. He went to his room to freshen up.
Zoya stared at her reflection capturing her detail. Her hands went over her neck and closed her eyes feeling an unknown sensation burning her insides. But this feeling, it felt good. Her heart felt like it was finally beating... and every heartbeat she wanted to live. She opened her eyes and pressed out her tears.
"You can get through this Zoya. No, no, no, I can do this." She sat down and brought out an old picture. Her fingers caressed the black and white picture. "I miss you Ammi, I miss your beautiful smile." She admired the picture, her mother looked like an Asian version of Marilyn Monroe, well that's what she teased every time she sat to talk to the picture. Her mother had wavy hair, with the fairest of skin. "I wish your daughter was pure Ammi, I wish she had not been tainted. Because that's how they saw me. Was it my fault?" She tried not to cry, her heart hurt, just a little bit. "I wish Ammi that you were still here, you would have supported your daughter, you would have stood with me. You wouldn't have disowned me, would you?" She questioned her mother. Asad watched from the door when he was about knock on her door to ask her if she wanted to sit and have coffee with him. His hands fisted as he watched her have a heartfelt conversation with her mother, her fingers lovingly stroking the picture. Tainted? Not pure? What happened in New York? She was abandoned by her family for this reason? Asad's mind asked a thousand questions and it all came down to one answer, her tears. Her tears were evidence of a thousand painful moments, the crack in her voice proof of her desperate cries. He couldn't fathom her pain. He had told her to live every heartbeat left within her, but he knew how hard she found it breathing. She had lost everything, everything worth living for. There was so much building up inside her, breaking her from within. He wanted to help her but he didn't want her to think he was sympathising with her. He wanted to heal her so that every time she closes her eyes and listens to her heart, her eyes do not fill up but her lips curve into a smile.
"Miss Farooqui?" Asad coughed, Zoya broke out of her thoughts and looked up at the reflection. She quickly wiped her tears and turned around with a smile on her face. Why this fake smile Zoya?
"Yes Mr Khan?" She got up and moved towards him.
"Coffee?" He returned her smile. His eyes swaying over wet patches under her eye. She brushed her hand over her eyes again.
"Something went into my eyes." She shrugged her shoulders trying to cover up her whatever she was feeling. "And yes, of course Mr Khan. If you're offering me coffee, then yes please" She said excitedly.
"Great, after you" He put his hand out, Zoya nodded at his chivalry and walked out of the room. Asad's eyes went over a couple of pictures on her dressing table. He stepped closer towards it, his curiosity taking the better of him.
"Mr Khan, I'm going outside" Zoya shouted behind him. He nodded to no one in particular. He picked up one of the pictures and held it in front of him, his eyes swayed over all the other dispersed pictures. She had a box full of her past locked away. His free hand brushed over the smile on the picture, Zoya, a few years younger dressed in a pretty white dress with pink polka dots at a themed party. She posed with her hand on her hips in front of her friends trying to take over the picture with her wonderful presence. Her smile was so youthful, so full of life and so real. What happened all those years ago that this girl had turned into this? What forced her to turn into a boy? What would have happened to her that her family turned a deaf ear towards her desperate cry for help? Why did she come to India? What drove her away from everyone? He put the picture down and picked up another one. This picture warmed his heart; it was a picture of her in a red salwar suit. He turned around to leave the room, his mind pondering over her past.
He stepped out into the garden holding two mugs of steaming hot coffee. He coughed to regain his composure, he stepped closer towards her. He admired her under the moonlight as she let the cool breeze caress her body. He settled besides her, feeling comfortable with their new found friendship. He didn't feel awkward neither did he feel shy from making conversation with her.
"Coffee" He held the cup in front of her. Zoya took it from him breaking out of her thoughts.
"Thanks" She smiled towards him.
"What were you thinking about?" He asked her holding onto her gaze.
"Nothing" She looked away.
"Every time you sit alone, you go into deep thought. Don't deny it. Maybe you can share with your friend" He didn't move his eyes off her.
"Share?" She faked a laugh. "Loneliness is a cunning thing Mr Khan, every time I sit alone, I can hear it speak to me. It reminds me that I am alone, it reminds me of every bitter memory of my past so that I can feel empty."
"You are not alone Miss Farooqui" He placed his hand over hers on the bench.
"Zoya. Call me Zoya, Mr Khan."
"Can you share your loneliness with me Zoya?" He sipped his coffee. Zoya shook her head in a no.
"No Mr Khan, otherwise it won't be called loneliness. I don't want to drag you into my world and share my pain" She smiled.
"But what if, Asad" He emphasised for her to stop calling him Mr Khan, "wants to share your pain?"
"I won't let you, I cannot see anyone go through pain because of me." She got up; he followed his eyes towards her back. "I have to bear this alone."
"You don't have to." He spoke to her back.
"Yes, I have to. I have to get used to bearing this alone." She sighed looking into the clear sky; the stars were shining brightly this night.
"Why?" She heard his voice.
"Because you're with me today, who knows where I will be tomorrow. I have to leave soon and I have to face this loneliness alone. I need to learn to fight it and overcome it. Because you won't be there." She turned around and tilted her head, that smile refused to fade off her face. Asad's heart stung at the thought of her leaving. "I don't want to burden you any further than I already have. I don't know how I will ever repay the love and care you all have given me."
"You don't repay love and care Zoya." He stood up to face her. She stood rooted to her spot watching him; her hair blew backwards as she felt her heart react in an unusual way. He stepped forward towards her, she didn't move as her eyes remained stuck on his face. He closed the distance between them coming face to face with her; he placed his hands over her arms. Her eyes snapped towards his hands before moving back to his eyes. She tensed feeling his hand slowly move up her arm, she closed her eyes fighting herself from within. "I'll be here, when you need me, even if you don't need me. I'll be here..." He whispered softly. She slowly opened her eyes, he watched them turn red as it slowly filled up, her breathing heavier than before. He cupped her face, "You can share your pain with me... because I won't go anywhere." He shook his head in a no. She blinked at him, tears flowing from her eyes effortlessly. He brushed her tears away with his thumb.
"You're an impure woman Zoya. Come here and look at your reflection. You have been tainted, no one will accept you. The society will spit at you. You are not made for this society!"
"Your izzat is in your hands, you should have worked harder to protect it. Women are meant to be pure! Your reality is this."
"This girl's face should be smeared black because of her deed!"
"You are impure Zoya."
"You have been raped!"
Zoya hit both of his hands away suddenly and stumbled back a few steps, her face flashed a mixture of emotions. Her hand went over her trembling lips remembering all of their taunts, she stared around her. Their faces and voice clear as they gathered around her to break her further. Asad watched her blocking her ears, her body shaking.
"No no, I didn't do anything..." She cried closing her eyes.
"Zoya, it's okay" He placed his hand on her shoulder but she threw it away opening her eyes.
"Don't touch me please" She pleaded holding her hands up at him. "Let me go please, don't do this again please." Her hands went over her head. Asad stared at his hands before looking up at her. His heart praying that she doesn't go back into shock.
"Zoya, it's fine. Tell me what's wrong, I'll make it okay. Tell me what happened..." He tried to calm her down. Zoya ran inside, Asad swiftly turned on his feet trying to stop her. He brushed his hand over his face trying to figure out what was happening. Why did she react like this when he touched her? She didn't behave like this when he pulled her in the park.
"Don't do this again?" He questioned, dumbfounded. He looked down at his hands and then back towards the door. He walked back inside.
"Zoya, beta. Are you okay?" Dilshad knocked on her door, finding her room locked.
"I'm fii-fine" Zoya replied gathering her knees in her arms and hugging it tightly shaking back and forth.
"Are you sure?" Dilshad's heart was not satisfied, her voice did not seem fine. She looked back at Asad as he came inside the house. "Is she okay?" Asad placed his hand on her shoulder and relaxed her.
"Ammi, it's fine. You go to bed. I will see, she will be fine." Asad comforted her. She nodded at him before going upstairs, her eyes going over Zoya's door. Asad took a deep breath and knocked on her door softly.
"Zoya..." He called her in a low voice, his voice calm and soothing. "Are you okay?" He asked her. He heard no reply. He fisted his hand looking up at the ceiling not understanding what to do. "Zoya, please tell me you're okay..."
"I'm fine... I just-" Zoya spoke in between her attempts to breathe properly. Her heart ached once again, this time not by the incident, but by remembering their words. They made her feel guilty for what happened rather than helping her to punish the wrongdoers. They made her feel like an outcast who would not be accepted by society because she allowed herself to be "tainted." She was not pure enough to be accepted by anyone. A girl's life, according to them, revolved around her ability to find a man, who will pick her after knowing about her purity and beauty making her his wife. She was not pure which meant she was not beautiful. No one would accept her knowing that she was raped, she has lost her purity. No one acknowledged the fact that a group of young men, forced themselves on her. No one wanted to know how she felt or what she was going through, they made sure they let her know what they thought about her. Her attackers were roaming freely because it would affect her so called family's izzat if they turned them into the police. The officials treated it as a casual incident, a group of boys misbehaving with a girl because it would affect the reputation of the college if they dug any further. They failed to acknowledge how much this final year university student has given to the college to make all their interstate programmes a success. She didn't raise her voice, because they had stolen her voice. They made her realise that their favours upon her was much heavier than her justice. They broke every tie; every relation they formed with her, she was not anyone's daughter, sister, or even neighbour. They pushed her away, stripping her off everything she cherished and grew up admiring. She didn't feel the pain of losing her mother so much after they came into her life. The little four year old Zoya could grow up, she could live her life to the fullest. After all of this, she was thrown back into that dark Orphanage room full of strangers, with no one to call her own. This incident drew a barrier in her life, to allow herself to love and be loved.
"Zoya, please open the door. You don't sound fine" He pleaded in a whisper. "Please, open the door and share whatever that is bugging you. Please show me that you're okay, I can't see you go back into darkness" He leaned his forehead against the door not being able to bear it any longer. He moved his head back hearing the door click, he watched as the door slowly opened. His anxious eyes met hers as she looked up, tears flowing from her eyes. She breathed out heavily smiling sadly at Asad shaking her head.
"I am fine, I am still alive and I still want to live" She told him, "I haven't done anything to myself, I won't kill myself don't worry" Asad winced, "I am not going to give up that easily. It's just that I forgot that where I am stood right now, there is a fine line drawn in black just a step ahead of me. I have to stay within that limit Mr Khan, I am not allowed to pass that." She shrugged her shoulders brushing her tears away, he took a step forward only for her to move back a step.
"Black lines are easily removed Zoya" He whispered.
"I can't remove it."
"I'll help you" He told her. She shook her head in a no.
"This line cannot be removed, this has been permanently stamped on my life. They were right; I am not made for this society. I do not understand their rules and expectations but I cannot fight it either." She stepped back. Asad took another step forward entering her room.
"If the line cannot be removed, I can come over to you on your side of the line Zoya. Look how easy it is" Asad gazed at her intently, she watched his feet come inside the room. "You don't have to face this alone; you don't have to fight it alone." Zoya turned her back towards him. "You were not made for this society because you were made to be in someone else's world." She turned around and blinked at him. He stepped backwards out of the room. "As far I see Zoya, there is no border no line barring you from me. You have already come into someone else's world Zoya, but I'll wait till you allow yourself to let that someone into your life. There is only a line in front of you, look around the open space around you Zoya." He smiled. "Goodnight." He walked off towards his room. She came towards her door and watched his back, brushing away her tears.
"As far as I see Zoya, there is no line barring you from me"
"You have already come into someone else's world Zoya, but I'll wait till you allow yourself to let that someone into your life."
She climbed into bed and turned the lamp off, his words replaying in her mind over and over again. She stared above with wide eyes leaning back against the pillow before finally allowing sleep to overcome her. She was fearful of what she will come face to face with when her eyes close because her dreams were more frightening than her reality.
Asad leaned against the headrest in his bed flicking through his book. Her pain was hurting him so much that he was desperate to make her okay, to stop those tears. He closed his eyes remembering her tears rolling down her cheeks, her behaviour when she suddenly pushed him away.
"What is your heart hiding Zoya?" He questioned scared of the answers his own heart may give him.
"NOOO!" Asad's eyes shot open jumping up hearing her piercing scream; he threw the blanket off him and rushed out of his doors towards her room. He yanked the door open and stared wide eyed seeing her fighting on the bed, crying. He rushed towards her and tried to engulf her into a hug but she attacked him feeling his hands caging her. Dilshad turned the lights on and watched shocked with her hands over her mouth.
"Let me go, don't touch me. Please let me go." She cried desperately in between her incoherent sobs, hitting his chest trying to get him off her. Asad grabbed her arms tightly and shook her.
"Zoya, it's me" He raised his voice at her; she froze watching him with wide eyes staring at his face. "It's me, it's okay" He whispered in his soothing voice, his expressions calmer. He nodded, "I'm here, it's okay" He repeated. He wrapped his arms around her slowly pushing her head towards his chest and embraced her tightly. Zoya clutched onto his kurta breaking into a heart wrenching cry, he rested his chin on her head wanting to take away all her fears. He was here. He will make it okay. His heart ached hearing her piercing cry.
"I'm here, it's fine... Shhh" He comforted her, Zoya got quieter and quieter, her body still shaking. Dilshad brushed her tears away and stepped out of the room taking Najma with her knowing her son could handle this.
"I'm tired of this Asad, I'm tired of these nightmares. I'm just tired" She breathed out into his chest closing her eyes.
"Everything will be fine" He held her tightly. "I'm here Zoya, you don't have to do this alone." He kissed her forehead. He felt her body relax in his hold; she held his kurta in her fist. "Do you trust me?" He asked her, she hummed something. "What is bothering you?" He tried to cup her face but she fell asleep on his chest. He held her head in his hands, his face only centimetres apart from her. His free hand brushed her tears away and caressed her cheek. His fingers went over her creased forehead before placing her head onto the pillow and wrapped the duvet over her tightly. He turned the lights off and sat beside her, his hands caressing her head. Zoya moved onto her side and grabbed hold of his hand taking it to his chest. His body slid off the bed and relaxed against the floor. He leaned against his hand admiring her as the moonlight streamed in through the badly closed curtains and kissed the side of her face. His heart sent out a prayer for her, wanting that peaceful expression to stay on her face forever. But he knew she hadn't healed, he knew that she will not heal easily nor quickly. What he saw in her eyes tonight did something to him, she was afraid of him and his touch as if he was going to force himself on her. Her desperate cry for help scratched his insides. She was only physically with him but her mind was elsewhere, her nightmare and reality too similar to differentiate.
He continued to brush his hand over her forehead while she clutched his hand against her chest. He felt that little bit of satisfaction knowing that she found some sort of comfort in his hold.
"What happened in New York Zoya?" He whispered thoughtfully, his eyes refusing to move off her face. He needed her to open his heart to him, tell him what is wrong, what it is that is bothering her so that he can get rid of it. He wanted her to let go, he wanted to heal her so that he could help her build new memories. He wished he could erase all her bitter memories; he wished he could give her sweet dreams. He hated seeing her in a desperate state whereby she loses all consciousness as to what is happening in her life. "If you don't want to come out of this world Zoya, at least let me into your world. Let me be closer to you, take my hand... you're not alone." He moved his face closer to hers, he closed his eyes feeling her breath over his face.
"Don't let go" Zoya whispered in her sleep clutching his hand tightly against her chest, she felt safe and protected. Asad opened his eyes leaning against his chin on the bed, he stared at her. Dilshad watched from the door with tears in her eyes, she sighed sending a prayer out to the Almighty.
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Zoya opened her eyes feeling the sneaky rays of sunshine over her face, she groaned. Every bit of her body felt heavy, it felt like she was living a nightmare and she had finally woken up from the torture. She stared at that bit of gap where the sun was creeping in from; it was so bright that she could feel the light touching her heart. She tried to get up but realised her hand was tangled against something. She faced the other way to find Asad sat on the floor with his head on the bed next to her, sleeping peacefully. She carefully sat up untangling her hand from his, she sighed heavily admiring him. Her hand went over his head.
"I'm sorry that you had to do this for me. I thought I wouldn't have these nightmares when I convinced my heart that I was going go to move on. But I was not aware that this will never leave me. His face haunts me every night; people go to sleep and dream of beautiful things. But, every time I close my eyes, my reality comes to haunt me in the form of nightmares. I don't want to sleep sometimes, because I know that I will have to face him. And even in my nightmares, I am as weak as I was that day. You know when they ask, what do you regret, what would you change if you were to go back in time to a certain time? I wish I could go back and be stronger than I was. I wish I didn't act so helpless, I wish I didn't let them take my voice. I wish..." She leaned her head back and closed her eyes pressing out her tears. "I would have had one less nightmare." Asad opened his eyes and looked up at her. He slowly got up and sat on the bed, his neck didn't feel great. His hand went over hers on the bed.
"Are you okay?" He asked her softly, Zoya slowly opened her eyes. He didn't know how many times he asked the same question, but his heart was not satisfied with the answer.
"Yes I am, thanks to you." Tears strolled from the side of her eyes, he reached towards her to wipe it off but she held his hand in the air. She smiled sadly, "Let these flow Asad, I want it empty out of me so that I don't have to cry anymore."
"Are you listening to yourself Zoya? You need to control your emotions; you said you were going to try moving forward. How can you say that? Would your chacha be happy to see you like this? Is this what he wanted for you?" He questioned her.
"I tried. These nightmares don't want to leave me. They come to haunt me every night" She held his hand and shook it desperately. "This isn't what chacha jee wanted. But this is my reality. I have to live with it. I asked phoopie not to bring me in here, look at you" Her face creased seeing the sadness in his eyes. "I am sucking away every bit of your happiness; I am not good for this house. You all cannot make your world revolve around me, just to make sure I am okay." Asad removed her grip off his hand before holding her hand.
"You are absolutely crazy." He sat beside her and wrapped his arm over her shoulder pushing her to rest her head against his chest. He breathed out a sigh. "I want to see you happy. Our world revolves around you because we want it to revolve around you. Help us Zoya, don't push us out. Tell me what's wrong..." He held her tightly, Zoya's hand held his kurta pressing out more of her tears.
"Let me go Asad, don't do this. Stop, I don't deserve to be here. I don't belong here" She cried remembering their harsh words that have imprinted on her mind and soul. He shook her.
"Why are you saying this Zoya? Why are you punishing yourself?" He tried to hold back his emotions.
"Because their words still echo in my ears, I cannot get away from this. I told them it wasn't my fault, I begged and pleaded but they accused me. I am impure, I am tainted, I am not beautiful, I am not what a girl should be. I don't deserve happiness, I have sinned and I cannot be forgiven. How can they abandon me? How can they say my mother died so that she didn't have to see this? How can they put a price on love and affection? Is this world so selfish? Is there no such thing as justice?" She poured her heart out to him pressing out more of her precious tears. He cupped the side of her face and lifted it so that he could look into her eyes. He brushed away her tears, his heart thumping inside of him. "Help me Asad..." Her eyes filled, finally calling to him for help. This pain inside of her heart has been unbearable for so long.
"People who put a price on love and affection do not understand the meaning of it. They are wrong Zoya. If God forgives you after asking for forgiveness, how can they deny you of the right to be forgiven. You have not committed anything for you to be at fault. You deserve so much happiness, thousand more times than the sadness you have seen. Look Zoya" He pointed towards the mirror, Zoya followed his eyes towards their reflection. " I see a strong beautiful girl, so pure and innocent who has the rest of her life ahead of her to accomplish great things. Remove this mask, let it all go. You see that other person beside you, he'll be with you every step of the way." Zoya looked up at his face. She moved away from him realising she was in his arms as if it was the most comforting place ever, which it was. He looked back at her.
"My past..." Zoya started, he shook his head in a no.
"We do not live for our past Zoya, we live for the present and future. Every day that is gone has become a memory; there are so many more memories to make. I want you to make new memories Zoya, live your present the way it deserves to be lived. You want to give it a go with me?" He put his hand forward, Zoya didn't understand the true meaning to his words. She stared at his hand and then back up at him.
"My past..." Zoya stuttered her words, "I have been... I am not capable of... I don't want you to..." She failed to find words to explain what she wanted to say.
"Your past does not bother me Zoya if it stops bothering you" He put his hand forward, Zoya moved her hand back. Asad smiled looking into her eyes. "We will work on that..." Asad got up from the bed. "Freshen up..." He ran his fingers through his hair and walked out of the room closing the door behind him. Zoya brushed her hair back not understanding what he left saying but whatever it was, it felt good. She crawled out of her bed and ran towards the door opening it slowly to peek out of it. She met his eyes as he turned around to close his door; he smiled at her closing the door shut. Zoya turned around towards her room feeling her cheeks heat up. What happened? Why was she feeling weird? What was this bursting feeling inside her stomach? She walked over towards her dressing table and picked up one of the pictures. She held it in front of her as she stared at the picture from years ago sat in the park posing away while she stole a moment away from her book for the camera. She felt like this Zoya today, she felt something inside of her. Something she wanted as a young girl growing up reading Shakespeare and fairy tales. She went into the washroom not being able to digest anything. She splashed water onto her face and looked up in the mirror. She tucked her hair behind her ears.
"You look like an absolute mess Zoya" She told herself.
"You want to give it a go with me?"
She smiled remembering his words and nodded at her reflection, she wanted to make new memories. She wanted to forget her past. She wanted it to stop bothering her completely. She wanted to stop these nightmares. She was going to do this.
"You can do this" Zoya told herself for the hundredth time, she freshened up and walked out of the bathroom drying her face with a towel. She stopped coming near the wardrobe and rotated 180 degrees to face her mirror. Her mouth fell open finding words written on her mirror in red. She stepped closer towards it, her hand went over the writing.
"Hey beautiful, you're going to be okay today." Zoya smiled reading the writing. She looked around the room blushing, she breathed out shaking her head. Asad. He did this.
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"Zoya, beta. Do one thing for me, could you please put those piled clothes in Asad's wardrobe for me?" Dilshad asked having her hands full carrying the bed covers to her room. Zoya looked up from her book and nodded. "Actually, it's fine. I'll have to fold them properly and then put it in. He doesn't like it when-"
"It's okay phoopie, I'll do it" Zoya assured her putting the book to the side and getting up. She picked up the second basket and headed towards his room. She took a deep breath entering his room and walking towards the cupboard. She placed the basket on the floor creasing her forehead. She turned around and walked towards his mirror. She removed the sticky note from the side of his mirror and stared at it surprised.
"Hey beautiful. Don't forget to smile today." Zoya closed her eyes and smiled at his effort. He had been doing this all week. Every time she looked into the mirror, she saw her smiling face. Because her every morning started off by his reminder to keep strong and smiling. And that's what she saw in the mirror. "I am smiling" She said turning into a deep crimson.
"Good" She heard his voice from behind. Her heart jumped outside of her, she slowly opened her eyes to find him leaning against the door, his arms crossed and a crooked smile on his face. She blinked at their reflection, she pretended to tuck her hair back but intentionally untucked it so that it could cover face. She turned around scratching the back of her head trying to stop herself from feeling embarrassed. She watched him smirk.
"Hey" She waved awkwardly sprinting off towards the basket, Asad entered his room picking up his briefcase from the floor and placed it on the bed. He watched her get busy trying to put his clothes away. "How has your day been?" Zoya asked trying to sound normal.
"It has been okay. Yours?" He asked her loosening his tie, Zoya looked up at the ceiling trying to keep calm.
"Not as productive as yours" She turned around closing his wardrobe holding the basket in her hand. He looked at her removing his shoes.
"How do you know my day was productive?" He raised his eyebrow.
"You look exhausted" She told him standing in front of him. He smiled looking up at her. "And I almost finished my book." She told him with a goofy look on her face.
"Towards the happy ending?" He got up slowly and faced her. She nodded at him meeting his eyes. "How do you feel?" He asked her softly.
"I feel... thankful today. Thank you Asad." She stepped backwards before turning around and walking off. Asad brushed his hair playfully. She stopped near the door and glanced back at him. "Slowly but surely." She pressed her eyes, Asad nodded at her.
Asad sipped his coffee, his eyes on Zoya as she focused on the film in front of her. He watched her react to every scene; her face replayed every emotion from the movie in front of her.
"You need stop keeping me back in your thoughts, you need to let me go now..."
"Please don't leave me, I cannot live without you."
"You have to live, if not for yourself, but for your loved ones. Our love was not destined for a very long time, but you have your full life ahead of you which you need to live. You belong to this life, this world. I am not of this world; I belong to a different world now. Free me my love, let me go..."
"How can I let you go, how will I live?"
"You have our memories, in those memories, every moment we have spent together, remember them. Those memories are a token of our love."
"I can't let you go..."
Najma and Zoya burst into tears holding each other; Asad snapped out of his thoughts moving his eyes towards the TV and then back at them both. They watched heartbroken as the mourning lover let his love go as her spirit disappeared into the distant.
"Don't go" Zoya and Najma cried together seeing the male cry letting the love of his life go. Zoya brushed her tears away with the back of her hands before looking at Asad. He shook his pressing his forehead at their drama.
"She died" Najma switched the channel and sighed. Zoya nodded her head.
"She has gone... How will he live?" Zoya questioned.
"This is all fake" Asad told them. They both threw a pillow towards him to which he put his hands up defensively.
"Memories" Najma replied to her previous question.
"Are memories that powerful? That a person can spend their whole life with them?" Zoya whispered.
"Yes" Asad replied, Zoya turned her face towards him. He looked into her eyes and nodded at her. He got up scrunching a piece of paper and throwing it towards her lap before walking off. Dilshad shook her head watching the whole scene in front of her, amused. She has seen a change in Asad and Zoya over the past few weeks. She was happy with this change, the smile on Zoya's face made her heart feel contented. Her son had lived up to her promise of bringing happiness into her life.
"What on earth?" Zoya looked at her lap confused picking up the scrunched up piece of paper. She opened it slowly not knowing what was written inside for her. She stared wide eyed at the paper in front of her. Tomorrow night at 8, be ready. "Huh?" She gazed towards his closed door. Her eyes fell on Dilshad in the kitchen who reserved an affectionate motherly look on her face for her. She looked down at the paper and then up at her, she nodded with a smile on her face. Zoya looked away instantly feeling her cheeks heat up like it has a few times before. She got up quickly and walked out of the back door into the garden. She smiled to herself clutching the paper against her chest; she felt the air blow her hair back.
"So?" Asad asked her joining her side. Zoya was taken aback finding him there. She shook her head in a no. "No?" He pouted.
"Where are you taking me first?" She asked him crossing her arms. He placed his hand over her shoulder and pointed circles in the air before pointing at the sky. She raised her eyebrow; seriously? He rested his chin on her shoulder bringing his other hand around towards her face and pulled the side of her lips to make her smile.
"Patience" He laughed walking back inside.
"Asad, wait..." Zoya called him, he turned around. "Are you sure about what you're doing?"
"Never been more certain about anything in my life" He walked over towards her and slowly lifted his hands to hold her shoulders. "I just want you to be sure, I want you to be happy." She placed her hand on his chest. He pulled her closer towards him and lifted his hand towards her face. Zoya tilted her head to his touch, his touched soothed her always, his arms made her feel protected.
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"You look so beautiful Zoya" Dilshad breathed out seeing her come out of the bathroom with the saree she gave to her.
"I don't remember the last time I wore one of these" Zoya said nervously, "Eid, I think and Aapi had to follow behind me to make sure it stayed in place" She tried to hold back her tears.
"If anything falters, there is someone else there with you who will help you" Dilshad hugged her tightly. "Enjoy your night out, have fun." She nodded at her.
"Thank you for this saree. I don't really have anything so fancy... anymore" Zoya shrugged her shoulders.
"What's mine is yours. You don't have to thank me. This saree was made for you beta. Anyways, Asad is waiting outside. You go, come on." Dilshad pushed her out of the room. Najma got up from the bed and joined her mother's side.
"Ammi, you do know that they both are going on a date" Najma asked her mother with a naughty grin on her face.
"Of course I do. Beta, your mother is smart." Dilshad laughed, "I just hope things go well." She walked out of the room.
Zoya took hesitant steps out of the door; she was scared her saree would come loose. She froze watching him turn around to face her. Asad took a deep breath finding her in a red saree walking towards him. Her hair was worn loose and her face glowing as she took hesitant steps towards him. He put his hand out towards her; she stretched forward and grabbed his hand. Her eyes went down to her saree; he played his eyebrows at her.
"You look beautiful" He whispered into her ears helping her inside the car. Zoya smiled looking the other way. He closed the door and walked around to get inside. Najma and Dilshad watched through the window.
"Okay Asad, I wore heels after a very very long time and you bring me to a beach" Zoya looked back at him.
"I have a solution for that!" Asad scooped her up into his arms; Zoya shrieked wrapping her arms around his neck. She stared at him with wide eyes. "Sorted" He smirked at her. He walked towards a beautiful dining area on the sand that he had specially arranged for them both. Zoya followed his eyes towards it and gasped. He put her down, Zoya slipped out of her heels and spun around to have a good look at the beautiful lighting. Her hands went over the white flowers on the table; she turned around to look at him. Asad had crossed his arms and his eyes were locked on her.
"Asad, what is all of this?" She whispered not being able to digest how beautiful this setting was. She could have only dreamt of something like this. He stepped closer towards her.
"Don't tell me you still haven't understood why we are here." He asked her, Zoya turned the other way not being able to meet the intensity in his eyes.
"I do understand why were are here. But my past..." Zoya tried to keep her tears in. Asad stepped forward, he slipped his hands around her waist. Zoya closed her eyes placing her hand over his. He slowly turned her around; Zoya looked up into his eyes.
"I don't care about your past." He told her for the hundredth time.
"But my past... I have..." Her voice faltered.
"Zoya, I love-" She placed her hand over his mouth shaking her head in a no. She removed his hand from her waist and stepped back.
"You might not after knowing about my past. You might not want to touch me, you might not see what you see in me now." Her lips quivered holding her tears in.
"Zoya, listen to me..."
"You listen to me Asad. Those nightmares... those are not just nightmares, they are my past. They come to haunt me every night. That one night has stolen all my nights. I may be able to dedicate my days to you Asad, but I cannot give you my nights because they are not mine any longer. I could give a part of me to you, but I don't know which part will represent me because I am broken." Zoya's teary face stared at him; she held her hands out to Asad, "I have nothing to give to you."
"Zoya..."
"Do you want to know my past Asad... do you want to know why I am alone in this world... Because this girl in front of you is not who I was. I was a final year student at university who had so many dreams. I was so free spirited, I had a voice." She sighed. "Every year, our local college held interstate competitions. Our college was the host that year..." Zoya faced the other way looking into the ocean. "You know Asad, I hated guys who didn't respect girls. I hated seeing young college boys teasing girls, I understand they are at that age but it doesn't make it right. Being an ambassador, I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure this didn't happen." She stepped further away from him. "You know what annoys me the most?" He stared at her back. "I hate it when they blame girls for wearing provocative clothing, rather than punishing the real culprits for not controlling their dirty thoughts. I hate it when men think that just because they are physically stronger than women, they can do anything." Zoya pressed her eyes close.
"Well next time when you stand up for your girlfriends, remember that I am a man and I have my way around girls like you"
"The competition was nearing, but that year the students' minds seemed set elsewhere. The night after the party I had to go over a few settings as I had been busy with university work that day. We had a basketball court where the first game was going to take place the following day. I had been left behind to set everything up" Zoya's voice trailed off. She felt like she was re-living everything again, she looked around her to find herself in the dark basketball court again. "Few of the young boys that I had encountered a few days back weren't too happy with the interaction and..." Her hand went over her throat, "Well they decided to..."
"What?" Asad asked quickly, he heard no reply from her. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. He cupped her lifeless body as she stared past him. She could see the night incident unfold before her once again. Her eyes fell on his face, tears streaming down her face. "What happened Zoya, tell me..." He shook her, his heart beating frantically inside of him.
"They raped me" Zoya whispered defeated. Asad's hand fell off her face to his sides as he stumbled back a few steps. "They forced themselves on me and I couldn't defend myself. I fought to represent everybody, but when it came to myself, I was too weak to fight them." Zoya told him, "And you know what he said to me, he said that he was a man and he had ways around girls like me." Zoya could not see his state, she turned away from him.
"It was my fault; I should have tried harder to protect myself. But I didn't ask for it to happen. I couldn't get my justice because their reputation was more important. Because it was my fault. I had to leave their home, because it my fault. I shouldn't live, because I did this to myself." Asad blinked at her snapping out of his shock. "Trust me Asad, there were many times where I had thought about ending my life. But, my mother's words still ring in my ears. I was young but I remember her words very clearly. Life and death lies in the hands of God."
"Zoya..." Zoya turned around hearing his voice. She sighed meeting his eyes; she held her hands in front of her and stared at them.
"I am not pure. I am not so innocent. I am not who you think I am. I cannot be loved." Zoya tried walking away but Asad's hand shot out towards her hand and stopped her. He turned to face her, he brushed both of his hands up her arms before pulling her into a hug. Zoya didn't know how to react, her hands remained by her side as he squeezed her in his hold clutching onto her.
"I love you Zoya..." He whispered into her ears, his eyes closed. Tears rolled down her eyes.
XOXO
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
124