Hey everyone,
Apologies again for have not got back to you all individually. Am trying but kya karoon , time bahut kum hai n kaam bahut saara. Now, if I sit down to reply then the update would have to wait another 2 days, that I didn't want to do. So am apologizing for not replying and giving you all an update instead. Hope it's fair...
This one goes out to all my lovely readers as you all are the only reason why am writing. Thank you for being so supportive. But would like to warn you all that the next couple chapters are going to be very intense. Hope you all will like them.
Banner credit: Persiko 🤗
Chapter 18
Bracing the Delhi traffic for over 2 hours, Zoya reached Asad's house a little after 10. She knew he would have left for office already and without checking she too turned back not wanting to create a panic situation at his house by arriving unexpectedly and uninformed. She looked at her watch and knew it would take her a whole lot of time to reach office so decided against it. She called Mr. Kapoor up and informed him of her absence for the day citing health issues. Not able to bring herself up to go back home Zoya walked away from his house turning back one last time before her cab rounded the corner. Just like Zoya, Asad too had reached her house and unlike her he didn't bother thinking anything and made his way to her apartment.
As Benazeer opened the door, she was greeted by a very anxious looking Asad. "Assalaam O Alaikum Aunty. Ji mein... Vo..." "Asad". As soon as he heard his name his head shot up and he nodded his head not knowing what else to do. Benazeer smiled at him and opened the door wider for him to come in. As he stepped inside he looked around trying to see if Zoya was still at home. " She's not here". Startled Asad looked at her with confusion. "When I woke up, she had already left..." She saw the look of vanquish in his eyes and quickly asked him "Do you really hate her... For whatever happened last evening... For the fact that she has hidden something from you?" "No! No. Please don't think like that, I may be upset with her but I can never hate her. She's been the epicenter of my life ever since the seminar... Now after being with her for so many weeks... And now this... I don't know if I am more hurt or shocked... I needed time to sort my head... I only need to speak to her now".
Understanding what he meant and how sensitive this whole situation was Benazeer smiled at him and said "She must be at work drowning herself into her work to keep away the negative feelings that had been consuming her since last night. Have you checked the office?" "No not yet. But I did try calling her but her phone was switched off, so I thought she would be at home". Benazeer looked confused and picking her phone up she dialed Zoya's number and got the same message of it being switched off. "Strange! She never does that. Maybe it's run out of battery". "Did you not call her when she didn't come out of her room until now?"
Benazeer understood how he felt so she smiled and said "This is exactly how Zoya has been since the time we moved to Delhi. Though, shed broken out of this habit since...since." Asad looked away understanding what she meant. "I'm sorry. I didn't want our first meeting to be like this but the circumstances... I didn't even ask you to have a seat. Please sit, what should I get you?" "Please don't bother right now. I would rather I leave and meet her at office". As Asad stepped out Benazeer called him from behind " Asad! One minute beta" he turned around and looked at eyes that were filled with tears and were pleading him "She... She really loves you... And...and would have told you everything on her own. If not today, then tomorrow". His own eyes brimming with tears Asad nodded his head an unknown emotion taking over his heart.
On the one hand he still felt the pain he had last evening but on the other hand his heart ached to see her, to hold her, to take in her intoxicating smell and to feel her heart beat right against his. Taking in a deep breath Asad tried easing his heart ache and started for office where he knew he would find her. His mind and heart still pulling him in different directions, Asad pulled out side their office. Greeting everyone on his way he quickly went to her cabin and soon as he opened the door, his heart stopped. Her room was empty, he walked inside calling her name but there was no response. He looked from corner to corner not knowing if she was in her or not, Asad looked towards her table trying to look for her usual things but there was nothing there. Everything was in its place as if no one had touched it since morning. Rushing out he went straight to Shipra's desk asking for her. "She hasn't come in today... Said she wasn't well". She looked on at a visibly upset Asad who had suddenly traveled to a world of his own. An uneasy feeling settling in her heart, Shipra asked him " Is everything OK? I mean, you look angry and worried at the same time".
Asad looked at her and trying to smile so she wouldn't get worried too he said "Yes yes. Everything is fine. Don't worry... It's, is just that I haven't seen her since morning so... Just that". Asad walked around the office, waiting for her. But as the minutes ticked by his worry increased ten fold. He paced from one corner of her cabin to the other trying to stay calm, but every passing minute seemed like a century. His anger faded letting his love take over his being completely. His mind and heart in sync felt worried for her safety. If she had left for work that early in the morning, she should have been here long time back. Thinking that maybe she really was unwell and had gone back home from midway, Asad walked out the office to go back to her house and check on her. Driving as fast as he could, Asad reached her house and very nervously rang the bell again.
On finding Asad there again, Benazeer didn't know how to react as panic started taking over her heart. " Asad! You here again? Is everything alright?" Uncertainly nodding his head, in a soft whisper he asked "Did Zoya come back? She called at office and said she wouldn't be coming in today as she's unwell. Please, can I meet her?" Not missing the anxiety in his voice and neither the desperation in his eyes, unwillingly Benazeer shook her head in the negative, the feeling of fear suddenly weighing heavily on her. Asad's eyes widened with shock and then he felt his heart picking up pace due to the fear he felt too. They both stood there with fear in their eyes for it had been hours that Zoya was gone and now no one knew where she was. They both stood there thinking hard to guess where she could be. After a couple of minutes of silence Benazeer's eyes widened and she said "The dargah! She must be at the dargah" "Are you sure Aunty?" Benazeer nodded her head "Yes. Yes am sure. That's where she always went when she missed her Abbu after we came here, that's the only place that gives her peace". "Ok! Then I will go immediately and check. Which dargah does she go to?" Benazeer gave him the directions and Asad almost ran towards the elevator but stopped. He walked back to her and with a lot of hesitation he said ."Umm... Aunty, please can I have your number, so as soon as I find her, I can call you". Benazeer smiled and let him save it on his phone.
Quickly turning around Asad almost ran down the stairs wanting to go see her. His heart felt relieved as niw he knew where to find her. Asad drove to the dargah, all the while thinking what he would say first. Would he scold her for disappearing like this or would he still show his anger that he'd felt from last night. He parked his car in the first available spot and got out looking around for her already. Covering his head he walked quickly inside, he bowed down in front of his creator offering his prayers to keep all his family safe and happy and for Allah to give him the strength to keep his anger in control and to give him control over his emotions too. As he finished playing, Asad stood up looking around for Zoya. He tried looking towards the ladies section as discretely as he could but there was no sign of her. He walked outside looking around for but still there was no sign of Zoya. Fear gripping his heart again Asad took out his phone trying to call her but remembered she wasn't carrying it.
Feeling extremely frustrated Asad kicked his car and almost screamed like a wild animal. He felt his body breaking into goosebumps at the thought of Zoya going away from him again. He felt scared and vulnerable, his heart beating so far that it was becoming difficult for him to breathe. Placing his hands on the hood oh his car Asad closed his eyes and bent forward taking in deep breaths to get a grip on his heart and mind which were so out of sync that it was difficult for him to even think straight. After a couple of minutes he opened his eyes and took out his phone again, unlocking it and looking at the screen that had a picture of Zoya as it's wallpaper. He caressed it softly as if it was her and felt his eyes pricking with tears "Where are you? Please don't leave me again, Please". He blinked his eyes to hold back the tears that were quickly building. He stood there looking at her picture for a while when it struck him to ask around. He looked around and then started walking towards the little shops outside the dargah. He went from one shop to the other showing her picture asking if today anyone had seen her around. He had only reached the small stall in a corner when the man behind it recognized Zoya.
"Yes. I saw her here today. She looked very dejected... Was crying too. I asked her if all was OK and if she needed any help to which she said something that I didn't quite understand". Asad started looking around for her again when his attention was drawn by the same man " She's not here. She left sometime back". Asad looked at him with hope "Do you know which way she went? I have been looking for her for a long time, she's been gone from home for a long long time". The smiled at him and said "Yes I saw her. She went across the road and into the park. She had looked so sad that I couldn't help from keeping an eye on her when she was here" the man finished. Asad thanked him before he made a run for the park. As he entered it he saw how secluded it had become being the middle of the day.
He walked further into the park looking for Zoya. After an excruciating 15 minutes he found her sitting, hidden behind a large tree. Her arms hugging her knees close to her chest and her head reading on them. He saw her sitting very still, as if not even breathing. Standing there he watched her for a while and could make it that she was silently crying. As much as it pained him to see her like this, he couldn't bring himself to forgetting the conversation between her and her Ammi last night. He stood there waiting for her to react to his presence but, that didn't happen. Taking in a deep breath he took a few steps closer to her and called out to her. As soon as Zoya heard his voice, her head shot up and she saw him standing a few steps away from her. She quickly wiped her tears and got up taking a step closer to him. It seemed like time stood still as they stood there, facing each other, not knowing what was going on in the mind of the other.
Asad saw her lower her eyes trying to hide the pain that was there in them. Taking in a breath Zoya looked at him and saw no emotion in his eyes. Understanding that he still was in the same state of mind as last night, Zoya turned around wanting to leave. Barely had she taken a step when she heard Asad's commanding voice "Where do you think you are going Zoya?" She turned around to look at him. She had just opened her mouth to answer his question when he interrupted her. "Do you know what you have put us through? Do you have any iota of what your Ammi may have been through due to this... This disappearing act that you decided to pull... Any idea what I would have gone through? No! You only thought about yourself. Didn't think once what the people who love you would go through not finding you anywhere. This is what you love to do, just get up and and... And run away". In a flash he closed the distance between them and held her arms in a vice like grip. Zoya's eyes widened with shock and she gasped at his sudden movement.
"Just... Just try and think before you make such rash decisions. Think of all those who are connected to your life Zoya. Please stop being so irresponsible. If you wanted to come here you could have at least told your Ammi or or carried your phone for heaven's sake". Zoya stood there shocked beyond belief that this was the same man that claimed to love her more than life and here he was standing here telling her off so rudely. She felt even more hurt than last night when he had walked off leaving her standing on the road. She closed her eyes letting the tears fall from her eyes and in barely a whisper said " You're hurting me Asad, please leave me ". Hearing her he immediately eased his hold on her and stepped back. He turned around raking his hands through his hair he let out an anger filled growl. Zoya could see his body shaking due to the anger that he felt. Not understanding what it was that he was so angry about she asked him the same.
"What is it that you are so angry about? Weren't you the one who left me standing on the road telling me that you wanted time to think, that you felt cheated?" Asad looked over his shoulder and saw her standing there with her eyes still shedding the tears. Turning around he took two steps towards her. "Why? You're asking me why? Have you seen what time it is? I have been wanting to talk to you since the first rays of the sun broke today. I went to your house looking for you so we could talk and sort whatever happened last night. Then your Ammi told me you'd already left for work. I rushed back to office and waited like a mad man for you to come and then was told that you'd called saying your not well and will be skipping work. I again went to your place and was meet with the same answer, that you weren't home. Do you realize your Ammi must be so worried..." Before he could continue she cut him off "She didn't know any of this... About me being here. For her, I was at work. So she wouldn't be worried" she said trying to hide her pain behind her harsh words and trying to look indifferent.
Seeing her so distant Asad was taken aback. Fumbling for words he tried to continue "And... and what about your friend... who you called telling her you weren't well. What about her?" "She. She wouldn't think much of it anymore. For all she knows, since the time we were together, she knows am happy. She would believe me". Asad looked at her shocked. Her sentence playing in his mind in a loop Asad looked at her, his heart twisting with pain at her dry tone. He took another step towards her, looking deep in her eyes he asked " And what about me? Didn't you think once about me? ". Zoya was taken aback by his question as that was the last thing she had expected him to ask, forget the question, he was the last person she was expecting to see here. She looked away not able to hold his gaze.
After a killing silence between them she heard him say " Whatever happened last night was very unexpected Zoya. I wasn't prepared for what I heard... For me, we had moved a lot ahead in our relationship in the past few weeks... For me, as per my understanding there wasn't anything between us that we had not discussed and shared with each other and then... Then the closeness that we now share ( he said in a whisper)... These were enough for me to understand that we no longer are two individuals. For me, it's US... " he finished with so much pain in his voice that Zoya felt her own heart ache and her eyes brimmed with fresh tears.
Sniffing her nose she said "If that was the case you wouldn't have walked away from me the way you did Asad. You left me standing alone... on the road..." "No! I didn't leave you on the road the way you are making it sound. I had dropped you to your house and you came running down to me. Yes, I was upset and I have every right to be... How could you still be hiding things from me Zoya, from Me. The person who went half crazy looking for you... I don't care what you have been hiding, what hurt me the most was that you still think that I will leave you for whatever that secret is. You still don't trust Me" "You don't know what it is Asad..." She was cut short by his voice "I. DON'T. CARE. I don't care what it is". He said in a raised voice. " You will, once you get to know and that's the reason I didn't want to tell you... I... I was being selfish, wanted just a few more days with you before...". Hearing her still harping on the same thing, Asad crossed his arms across his chest and stood there, looking at her, his eyes challenging her to divulge what it was that she was hiding, divulge what she thought was going to makes him forget his love and walk away from her.
P..S. As always, please please guys hit the like button and leave your comments and feedback for me. I really look forward to reading all you have to say. Love always...
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