I brought her a vase with twelve roses. I didn't tell her that the last one was fake. As she lay in her bed, and I put the vase on the sidetable next to her, she looked at me with surprise.
"Those are beautiful," she said.
"They are, aren't they?" I asked her, admiringly.
"How many are there?" she asked.
"Twelve," I told her simply.
"Why did you bring twelve?" she asked me softly.
"Because Sanyukta, when the twelfth one dies, you will breathe your last," I said with a smile.
I took her hand in mine and kissed it softly, as she looked at the roses with awe.
"Twelve roses... I'll die when the last one dies," she repeated.
"Deal?" I asked her softly.
"Deal," she promised with a smile.
--
My eyes opened as that memory played in my mind. I knew I was weak, and I knew I was going to die. It was inevitable. I felt a soft hand on my wrist.
I turned around to look at her, Sanyukta. My Sanyukta. I was in the hospital, and she was sitting beside me.
"How could you leave me?" she asked through her tears.
I was weak. It was like I was fluctuating between wake and sleep.
I passed out again.
The next time I regained some consciousness, I heard Anju's voice.
"Sorry Randhir... I shouldn't have... Sanyu loves you a lot... but you almost killed my daughter... I thought she was going to die," she wept next to me. "Please forgive me... please... I was angry and I know I was wrong to have you beat like that."
I stirred, but was too weak to open my eyes. Nothing was registering. I didn't know what was happening.
I passed out again.
I felt myself waking slightly, as I heard her voice - my Sanyukta's voice once more.
"Our baby Randhir, she's okay... Palki... Palki Shekhawat," she told me through tears, and I felt a weight on my chest. "Palki, your papa."
I tried to force my eyes to open, but I was getting weaker by the minute. I knew what would happen. The end was inevitable. Sanyukta was alive. I had prayed so much, for God to come and take me instead of Sanyukta... and God was fulfilling my prayers.
"Wake up please Randhir. Please," she begged. "The... the last rose never died. Randhir, the last rose never died... if you go, then it will die... you know why? The last rose was a distraction."
A distraction. The last rose was a distraction.
"It was to cover the true rose... you are the last rose... Randhir you're my masked rose," she sobbed. "If you go, I won't be able to live. You're my last rose Randhir."
I felt her lips softly touch my forehead.
"At least open your eyes and look at Palki," she whispered. "It's been a week... Randhir you've been drifting in and out of coma for a week... doctor says you won't make it, but I have faith... you will make it. You have to make it."
I won't make it Sanyukta, I wanted to say. I wanted to come back for her, but I was weak. Now, I was feeling myself willingly slip away.
"Randhir please, for me... you can't hurt me like this... Randhir I love you," she cried. "My beautiful Randhir, my beautiful rose, you can't die... if you've written your whole life in my name, you can't leave me and go halfway."
I was going away from her.
How could I make her understand that me leaving her was just an illusion? I was only coming closer to her. What was happening right now was a requirement.
Sanyukta, I'm leaving you to come to you in the end. In the end, I only have you to return to... so even if it looks like I'm leaving you, I promise you, I'm only coming towards you. My path leads to you and only you.
Of course she didn't hear me. How could she? She couldn't see what I was seeing. She was deluded by the world. One day though, she may realize... and that one day, I would feel free.
My breaths got steadier - it was good for her if I just left. It was good for her, if I didn't keep her tied to my physical form. Her attachment was to Randhir Singh Shekhawat's body, not to Randhir Singh Shekhawat. If my body left, she would have no choice but to come and find me in another form... and that form would find her first, and would guide her to the purest sense of me that she could approach.
Then I stopped breathing and the last thing I felt before I left was her pain.
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