Chapter 23
She was heating the food in the kitchen but her mind was elsewhere, now understanding why he was averse to love, after getting cheated by his sisters lavanya was the one who supported him only to betray him later on. He had dared to love again and what did he get in return? Deceit.
When she had confessed her feelings to him he had rejected him which left her heartbroken but her pain was nothing compared to what he must have felt on seeing the person who he loved so much was pointing a gun at him, she didn't kill him instead killed his emotions, his heart filled with love and snapped away life out of him. Facing rejection is painful but facing deceit again and again is devastating and he had faced both at the same time. When he had refused to reciprocate her love he had done that unknowingly, he wasn't aware at that point of time what was going on in her mind, her confession came as a surprise for him but when lavanya cheated on him that time they both were engaged, she knew she resided in his heart and still that didn't stop her from crushing it ruthlessly and mercilessly. Had she been in his shoes she would have undoubtedly shattered down completely but he gathered himself up, he managed to survive.
Suddenly his non acknowledgement of her love towards him didn't hurt her so much, after what he had gone through it wasn't easy to fall in that trap again, who would want to? They say "once bitten twice shy" but he was bitten several times no wonder he was scared to love someone again and not only that he wanted her to refrain from it too, he wanted to protect himself and her from this grief and what was wrong in doing that? Even if he termed his love for her as his concern she didn't mind. His aloofness, his bitterness towards life started making sense to him. She took a tired sigh and transferred the food on the plate. The maid carried the tray upstairs and she followed her behind.
She took the tray from the maid and entered the room pushing the door, it was pitch dark, the bulb outside their room now succeeded in illuminating it. Sitting on the bed with his head placed on the head rest he saw her figure standing with the tray," khushi, I told you I'm not hungry." He said in irritation.
She lowered her head and came in carefully, kept the tray on the bed, switched on his bedside lamp, his eyes squinted because of the sudden light. She shut the door silently and looked back at him, with his hands folded in front of his chest and eyes closed he breathed slowly. The whole room seemed suffocated, she went and opened the window letting fresh air come in. she gazed at the sky above, the moon wasn't shining bright, it looked a lot paler and lonely with the stars not its side and clouds surrounding it.
She came and sat close to him staring at his creased face, images of lavanya's betrayal flashed before his closed eyes, the more he tried to push his past aside the harder it was coming back to him. She pressed his hand lightly making him purse his lip and open his eyes which had a hint of moisture in them. She placed her palm on his cheek and wiped of the tear from the corner of his eye with her thumb," arnav ji, Some one who failed to bring a smile on your lips, why are you giving her importance by shedding tears for her ?"
He looked back at her for a second before engulfing her in his arms, taking her by a surprise. He pressed her to himself firmly and buried his face in her shoulder shutting his eyes tightly. She brought her arms around his back and moved them up and down in an attempt to calm him down, it tore her heart to see him like that, she wished she could embrace all his sorrows and hugged him closely letting his pain seep into her body, love was indeed gruesome and painful.
He parted his lips and asked softly, " am I that bad that I deserve hatred in return of love?" Why was life so harsh on him?
She moved her fingers through his hair and stroked his back with her other hand," arnav ji, set her free... From your heart... From your mind... From your life."
He had to move on in life and for that he needed to let go his past, eradicate those awful memories from his heart and mind. There was no point in holding on to something that made him weak.
He lifted his head from her shoulder and moved back," Its not easy." It was easy to say forgive, forget and move on but hard to do so.
She raised her lowered head and looked into his eyes," if those memories can only offer you pain then its better to forget them." She knew he needed time to overcome the past that today suddenly came face to face, she had faith in him that he would come out of it soon, she would bring him out of it.
She placed the tray on her lap and brought a piece of roti dipped in dal towards his mouth, he opened and had it quietly looking back at the person who always attended to his wounds inflicted by someone else. He brought lavanya into his life with the hope of getting true love from her, with the intent of spending his whole life with her whereas she came into his life just for an year to give him his heir but in this short span of time gave him all that he had not expected ever out of her. Lavanya exited from his life and took away with her his faith in himself, on relationships, on family while she came in and brought with her his long lost confidence, with her around he began trusting his sisters again, in the true sense he forgave them and realized what a wonderful family he was blessed with. Lavanya added grief to his already distressed life, whereas she calmed him down, simmered down his inner turmoil, his insecurities, his frustration towards life.
He stared at her soulful eyes which cried when he was hurt and sparkled with joy when a smile played on his lips. She married him so that she could pay off her father's debts, she did that but differently, she took away his agony, his misery and repaid them by bringing a smile on his lips and joy in his life, she gave him back that happiness which he could never buy.
He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead softly then stopped her hand which was feeding him, mixed dal with rice and raised the spoon to her lips, She smiled and had it.
He kept the tray on the table, gave her bedtime medicines and pulled the comforter on her as she lay down on the bed. She gazed out at the sky, the dark clouds had deserted the moon as it began glowing once again in the company of sparkling stars, her eyes shifted from the moon to her moon who was lying close to her, much more composed but still had a trace of sadness or confusion in his eyes, she couldn't pick exactly what it was?
She lifted his hand and placed it on her abdomen, the presence of his child always comforted him, his eyes travelled to his hand and a thin smile broke out, as the baby kicked in, what she was giving him was priceless. She raised her hand and brushed her fingers over his tired eyes, shutting them down. Images of lavanya and her betrayal now became blurred instead her innocent face smiling back at him became more vivid.
He opened his eyes and saw her calm and serene sleeping form, if he loved lavanya at that point of time then what he felt for her was much more deeper and stronger.
Was he in love again?
May be. But he didn't wish to think about it now, he shifted his hand from her belly and entwined his fingers with hers, he needed her more than anything else.
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She sat on the bed examining different saris being laid out, her gaze stilled at the green sari which she had bought with lavanya, should she wear it for her godh bharai (baby shower)? She heard him from behind," it's nice."
She turned her neck he was also speaking about that green sari, she picked it up, her eyes travelled from the sari back to him, still a little unsure, lavanya had chosen that sari, he still wanted her to wear it?" it's my choice. So what if it happens to match with someone else? I want to see You in this color." He was right, he had selected that sari for her on his own without getting influenced by anybody moreover he wanted to see her in it and that's what mattered to her, She nodded her head and went to change.
All the women of the family gathered to bless her and the child, it was a big day for daadi and garima to see their family getting extending. They were the first ones to shower their blessings on her, garima filled her daughter's lap with fruits and coconut, she had tears of joy in her eyes to see her daughter entering into final stages of motherhood, she kissed her forehead and whispered into her ear," I pray that the baby brings in lots of happiness in your life."
She smiled and lowered her head then daadi came and gifted her jewellery and sweets, she stroked her head fondly thanking her for making her a great grandmother, she whispered softly into her ear," may devi maiya bless your child with long life and good health." She looked back at daadi,she knew that the baby meant a lot to her.
Then it was the turn of both the sisters who were waiting anxiously to whisper something sweet and cute into her ear, Anjali brought baby clothes for her, all girls and said softly," I hope it's a girl so that I can dress her up like a doll." Khushi pressed her lips to stop herself from smiling. Anjali also gifted her baby toys, she shifted her eyes and looked at shyam for a brief second then said shyly," I also wish that the baby is cute and intelligent."
Hearing this arnav rolled his eyes, he certainly didn't wish his child to be as good looking and intelligent as shyam.
Payal who had gotten back from her honeymoon declared openly," I just want the baby to be extremely naughty ." Making everybody laugh, yes indeed they all wished the baby was naughty like her.
Last came Arnav's turn, he was slightly hesitant wondering what more to ask from her, she had already given him so much but still he bent down, brought his lips close to ear, he heard her gasp, he still managed to tickle her senses, he smiled inwardly then whispered," I just hope the baby is a shadow of you." She turned and looked into his eyes in surprise, he really wanted the child to be her shadow? He shook his head gently before straightening himself up.
Anjali and payal came forward to put tikka on khushi's forehead and prayed for the well being of the child then sang and dance to celebrate this auspicious occasion.
Later in the evening she soaked her tired and swollen feet in the bucket filled with hot water. Even Her back was aching terribly, she saw him coming in the room with the hot water bottle, she took her feet out and dried them with the towel. She moved back on the bed as he adjusted the hot water bottle behind her back, clearly looking drained out she closed her eyes and placed her head on the head rest then straightened her legs and rested her feet on the piled up cushions. Suddenly she felt something warm on her foot, she opened her eyes to find him sitting at the edge of the bed with a cup of hot oil to massage her swollen feet, she immediately bent her knees and moved her legs back," arnav ji, why are you doing this?" he glared back at her for a moment then dropped his gaze and slowly straightened her legs once again, she panicked to see him touching his feet and protested one more time," please don't."
He turned his neck to look at her then placed a finger on his lips gesturing her to keep quiet, had she not exhausted herself in the baby shower he wouldn't have to do all this, what was the need for her to stand for such a long time and attend the guests? Couldn't she sit peacefully in a corner? He had warned her so many times but she didn't listen and then ended up fatiguing herself.
He shook his head in disappointment and began massaging her foot carefully making her embarrassed and uncomfortable. A while later she parted her lips and spoke," actually maa was suggesting that I should stay with her for the remaining days." He lifted his head and glanced at her, what was the need for her to go to her mother's pace for few days? Was she not properly taken care off here? " aren't you comfortable here?" he asked, she nodded her head instantly, that's what he thought and continued to rub oil on her other foot," then tell her you're not coming."
She gave out a thin smile. " I've already refused her saying that my delivery date is round the corner and I don't wish to change places now."
He nodded his head and pressed her foot lightly to give her relief, she smirked as she thought looking around the room sadly and said," moreover after delivery I would be leaving this house and staying with her."
His head shot up on hearing her leaving the house forever in some days time, he kept the cup of oil aside and stood up flaring his nostrils and clenching his jaws hard," I know I married you only for a baby and after it's birth you'll leave forever. I haven't forgotten anything so you don't need to remind me again and again."he snapped back, she shivered hearing his loud voice, she wasn't reminding him about the deal they had struck, words of leaving her the house post delivery came out of her lips just casually, she didn't know that he would react so strongly, "arnav ji, I was just .."she couldn't complete as they both heard a crashing sound. She looked at the door, he too turned around sharply and saw a broken glass of milk along with daadi fainting and collapsing down.
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