Abhigya FF:Night To Remember LAST ch PG 75 NEW FF LINK pg 1 - Page 50

The words kept echoing in my ears, despite the sound of heavy waves, I could hear what she'd said clearly. Even though she never expressed explicitly what she actually felt for me still it was hard to believe that she didn't love me and that there was nothing between us. When I looked back, her every small little gesture in some way reflected her true feelings which now she didn't wish to acknowledge and preferred to call them her concern for me.

I shook my head in disapproval, she was lying, if she didn't love me then why did she take care of my smallest of things, be it ensuring that I came back home safely, that I had a proper meal, that I didn't recourse to useless drinking, that I forgot tanu and came out of past, the list was endless and as per her all these things over the period that we spent together didn't culminate in to love and we hadn't moved on together in our relationship. It was still the same, was something which I refused to believe. Clenching my jaws I thought how mercilessly she was ruining the happiness that was beckoning to enter our lives.

The cell phone rung once again, purab's name kept on flashing, why couldn't he leave me alone, dammit? What did he want to know? That how insensitively she had crushed my feelings? That my love meant nothing to her? All that I used to see in her eyes for myself was nothing more than plain simple concern and that my love for her was one sided?

The phone rang one more time and I threw it away in anger, after breaking down into pieces it went silent just like my life. Couple of hours back I'd realized that I was in love, in fact realized that I'd always been in love with her, this feeling had not even sunk in that I lost it within moments of expressing it. Something so beautiful which was inside me for months and which grew stronger with time was snatched away so brutally from me that I was left with nothing. My heart was burning and no matter how much alcohol I was gulping down the fire just didn't extinguish in fact the flames rose even higher with every sip.

Leaning my head against the rock behind I gazed at the sky above and wondered, was she still stuck with her past? Was she still in love with someone else? NO, my heart replied, had it been so she wouldn't have said that she feared to lose me along with her mangalsutra during that stampede.

For me she could fight against the whole world so couldn't she fight against herself for her own love?

I recalled the last time I'd come here with her, she was disturbed and distressed, wanted to have a peaceful moment here, tonight even I desired the same but was failing to find it. Taking the sand in my hand I remembered how philosophical I'd become in an attempt to free her off her past and make her move on in life. The sand slipped out of my hand and I felt that some things were easier said than followed. Could I forget the moments that I'd shared with her and believe that they meant nothing to us? No , at the same time I couldn't even hold on to those moments no matter how hard I tried, they were slipping out of my grip.

Suddenly I felt someone's presence, lifting my head I found purab standing with his hands resting on his waist.

" what is this abhi, why aren't you taking my calls?" gulping another sip I ignored his question.

" you know how worried we were for you ..then pragya told me that you might be here."

I smirked and thought, although there was nothing between us still she was aware of my whereabouts.

" abhi , did you speak to pragya ?" he asked, I knew it was coming," just go from here." I replied.

" first tell me did you share your feelings with her?" I didn't answer and lifted the bottle to take another swig when he snatched it from my hand and threw it aside. It broke into pieces and I stood up in rage and grabbed him by his collars," how dare you do that?" he was surprised by my outburst, appeared a little scared for a moment then calmed down and tried to defend himself," abhi I was only ..."

I didn't let him finish and asked gritting my teeth," what is your bloody problem purab ..can't you leave me alone?"

He freed his collars from my grip and said firmly," abhi, it's already late and we are going home." He held my arm to take me back but I pushed him and began walking away, the alcohol was showing its effect and I stumbled. He didn't let me fall and put my arm around his neck to support me as I continued to protest," I can walk ..leave me." He didn't utter a word and kept dragging me towards the car then pushed me in and drove back home as I blabbered, God knew what.

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I swayed my way to the room, she was standing near the French window with her back facing me, banging the door shut I managed to startle her and she turned around. She looked at me in confusion and asked," you're again drunk?" shaking my head I thought, now did I need to seek her permission before drinking?

She poured me a glass of water and extended her hand which I shoved aside, she then began walking toward the door after saying," I'll get your dinner." I wasn't hungry anymore, her words had filled my stomach hence retorted," I don't want anything ." Being headstrong like me she continued to move ahead and said," have something at least."

It infuriated me to see how normally she was behaving as if in the afternoon nothing had happened. I caught her wrist, pulled her back and pushed her against the wall to stop her. I knew my hold was hurting her but the pain that she was inflicting on me was far more. Her face creased in pain still she remained quiet," it hurts, doesn't it?" I asked after leaving her wrist. Her eyes scattered the floor but not a word escaped her lips, I could see her swallowing the lump formed inside her throat.

Caging her I lifted her chain with my finger and snarled, " when there is nothing between us then why did you risk your life for this chain?" she raised her eyes for a second then dropped them," how does it matter if I live or die?" she raised her hand instantly to stop me from speaking further and replied with teary eyes," please don't say like this." I could clearly see love in her eyes but it hurt me that she was attempting to hide her feelings not only from me but herself too.

Grabbing her by the shoulders I spoke through clenched teeth " even today why is my anguish reflecting in your eyes?" she could never see me hurt and today when I was going through hell because of her she was silently shedding tears. One more tear dropped from her eye and landed on her cheek. I left her shoulders and held the teardrop on my finger and before tossing it back asked her bitterly," you don't love me, right? Then why this?" she turned her head to the other side and shut her eyes tightly, to hold back the remaining tears.

Tanu's deceit had broken me but her silence was killing me. Pulling her by her waist I brought her close," why is it that when I come close to you your heart beats rapidly?" she lifted her eyes in surprise, she could fool herself but not me, I very well knew what effect my presence had on her. Clenching my jaws I continued without tearing my eyes off her," and when I'm not there why do your eyes search me everywhere?" Her lips trembled making me think that maybe this time she would speak up but she didn't and I pushed her back in frustration.

Her silence was getting on to my nerves making my head boil in anger, I took the jug of water and stepped out in the balcony to cool down my hot head.

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After adjusting the pleats of the sari, I opened my hair and dropped them on my left shoulder then hung his blue jacket that had been with me for months, loosely around my shoulders. Hands filled with extra glass bangles made more sound as I stood near the French windows.

He turned around and glanced at me in confusion, his eyes lowered then moved up slowly watching me carefully. I didn't wish to see myself in the mirror, I wanted to know how I looked in the sari that he'd brought for me through his eyes. Crossing his arms before his chest he moved inside and edged close to me. Water was dripping from his wet face when he asked dryly," what's this?"

" truth"

" what truth?" he asked pursing his lips.

" the truth about us." he tilted his head slightly, expecting me to continue further, which I did before heaving a sigh of relief to see him sober, coz it would be impossible for me to repeat myself in case he missed out on hearing what I'd to say tonight.

" I lied to you that there is nothing between us..whatever it is, it's wonderful..and I can't afford to lose it." Our relationship was unique, it had its own beauty and it way too precious for me to lose, probably today the fear of losing it after witnessing his outburst gave me the courage to speak the unspoken.

His expressions were still serious or should I say livid.

" even I love you." I said after licking my dry lips and peered at him to read his face. His gaze remained unwavering, intense and piercing. He didn't react as if he knew all this.

"from the day I first met you."

He drew his eyebrows together in confusion, I gulped the lump in my throat and asked him," suniye, do you remember this coat? That evening you only gave it to me." His gaze shifted to the jacket which was on my shoulders but still he couldn't recall when he'd given it to me.

" that evening you saved a girl covered with mud from two bikers..you remember."

He narrowed his eyes as he tried to remember that incident then shook his head lightly.

" I was that girl." His eyes grew wide in surprise.

I smiled slightly, the images of that evening were still fresh in my mind," in that very moment I gave away my heart to you.." I paused before attempting to complete my sentence," I.." lowering my head I said softly,"fell in love with you."

Then lifted my eye lids to look at him, his facial expressions were no more stiff and his crossed arms came down on their own.

" since childhood I dreamt that Someday someone would come and sweep me off my feet and you'd done just that."

" I just couldn't contain my happiness ..and started dancing and singing in the rain."

His eyes began turning soft as slowly things started falling into place but still he was quiet. How strange sometime back he was talking and I was silent and now it was exactly the opposite. Nevertheless I continued, " thereafter what happened I had not imagined ..in strange circumstances we got married." Within weeks things had changed dramatically here and when I came back from hostel I was shocked to see the turn of events.

" till today I believed that you loved tanu." It wasn't easy for me to accept the fact that he loved my sister and not me, still I cajoled myself by believing that my happiness lay in his.

Seeing me sad he slowly started walking in my direction and stopped before me. Raising my head up I met his eyes and said," however today when you stated that you never loved tanu instead..you." I couldn't complete myself as tears rolled down and I shut my eyes tightly. Suddenly I felt his hands on my cheeks, he was wiping off my tears with his thumb when I opened my eyes and then he shook his head indicating not to cry. Holding his hand I tried to push back my tears and gazed at his warm loved filled eyes before saying,"like you even I've always loved you ..only you."

He pulled me in his embrace with a jerk as a result the jacket fell off my shoulders and he wrapped his arms around my waist while I leaned on his chest listening to his heart beat.

In his arms I felt calm, serene, protected and safe before being destroyed by the storm that was just round the corner. Bracing myself for that dreadful moment I cherished this one till it last.

It wasn't long when he moved back and asked me in surprise," pragya, what are these marks on your back?" his eyes shifted from my reflection in the mirror which was behind me exposing my bare back. I took a deep breath as he watched me carefully, his eyes stopped on my arms and he held them on spotting similar marks there as well, this was the first time that he was seeing me like this, my back and my arms always remained covered with the style of suits that I wore.

" pragya ..what's all this ?"

" this ..is my past ."

Time had come that he knew about my past fully, it was test of my fear and his 'love'. Gathering the much needed confidence I began telling him about my best friend in college, Suresh, with whom I used to share all my joys and sorrows. When love had knocked at my door he was the only one who knew about it, I'd told him as soon as I went back to the hostel, how could have I hid the happiest moment of my life from him and to celebrate it we'd went to the nearby tomb, a place where I'd always wanted to visit.

He was listening to me intently. I turned my back to him to narrate what followed next.

Flashback

It was raining slightly and my sky blue sari got wet as we entered the tomb. It was for the first time that I was wearing a sari, a lot many other things were also happening for the first time like I was in love and we'd sneaked out of the college fest to explore this beautiful tomb which was a symbol of love. As per what I'd heard it was believed that when the ruler of this place decided to get this tomb built, one of the laborers fell for the rulers daughter. They would secretly meet in this tomb but sadly their love story had a tragic end, the ruler got the young laborer killed and buried in this place itself. The story always touched me and I desperately wished to explore this place but only when I was in love.

So here I was moving around the place in excitement even though it was dark and isolated with nobody around still the tomb looked beautiful. I stopped at a window which showed the breathtaking view of a lush green garden and a little ahead of it one could see the street. As it was pouring the road was quite deserted, of late rains had become a very integral part of all the important moments of my life and I wasn't complaining. Stretching my hand out I enjoyed the rain drops falling on my palm. Suresh came and stood next to me, I turned and smiled at him.

" love is painful..but still this pain has it's own beauty." I said. Staring back at me he nodded his head silently.

" even though those lovers died but their love story didn't ..i can feel it." I always believed in fairy tales and my story wasn't less than any fairy tale. Just the thought of being in love was making my heart dance in joy. He held my outstretched hand which was getting wet and said," tonight here one more love story will be written."

Frowning at him and taking my hand back I asked him," who's love story?" he smiled and replied," ours."

I laughed out loud, I knew he had a good sense of humor and this one was the best ever, clutching my stomach I continued to laugh and said, " good joke."

All of a sudden he grabbed me by my shoulders and said angrily," joke? You find my love for you a joke?" I looked back at him in astonishment, his grip was hurting me and more than that the fact that he considered our friendship as love was paining me, " try to understand suresh,you're my best friend..i don't have such feelings for you in my heart." I tried to explain him calmly but his grip tightened and he became all the more furious, his breath filled with alcohol fanned my face as he growled," wow pragya this is amazing. To share what's in your heart you choose me but to give away your heart you choose someone else."

He pushed me back, unable to maintain my balance coz I was still in a state of shock, I fell down badly. He stepped close to me and for the first time I was petrified of him, I'd never witnessed this side of him, blood was rising to his eyes and my heart pounded in fear when he sniggered," this is not right pragya,this is so not right. But don't worry I'll make it right, in such a way that it can never be wronged again!"

The next moment he pounced on me and pulled down my sari, I pushed him back with full force and rolled to the other side, he didn't leave the edge of the sari and before I knew it had come out fully. Covering myself with my arms, tears welled up in my eyes as I didn't know how to save myself from that beast. I tried to get up quickly but he was faster than me, he clutched my leg and pulled me down. Once again he was on top of me, I pushed, kicked, hit, cried did everything but he was way too powerful. He pinned my arms to my sides and clamped down his teeth on my bare shoulder, I yelled in pain and terror while he let out a sinister, husky laugh. I struggled madly against him crying," leave me." He was like a solid wall. He ripped off my blouse and crushed me further with his weight, I gasped, sobbed, twisted under him trying to escape but it was futile. The wind was knocked out of my body as his huge body came down on mine, I screamed my lungs out but the thundering of clouds outside muffled my scream and then there was silence.

I stopped struggling and gazed at the ceiling above blankly, all was over.

He got off and sat next to me taking out a cigarette to smoke. I turned my back to him, unable to meet his devilish triumphant gaze.

"hope you'll never forget this night. Surely a night to remember." I heard him say in pride.

He then came close to me once again but this time I wasn't terrified, I had nothing to lose, I had already lost everything. He pressed his cigarette against my back several times and said," you may not wish to be mine but I've marked you as mine." Then moved on to my arms to leave scars there as well. Nothing pained me anymore, nothing hurt me anymore as I lay dead and lifeless.

When he left me I didn't know, I only heard the sound of a huge crash and explosion. I stood up and looked out of the window, his rammed car against the tree was now in flames.

He was finished so was I, he didn't die alone, he killed everything inside and around me before dying.

End of flashback

thanks for reading

Rose