New Asya SS: Dil Ki Baatein Dil Hi Jaane Last Chap/Epilogue Pg 91 6/12 - Page 61

Chapter 12

Zoya sat in her balcony as the nightly breeze touched and tickled her skin. Her hair was in a loose bun but the few loose strands fell on her. She brushed the air back and tucked it in its place. Zoya saw the ring that adorned her finger and immediately broke into a smile. She couldn't believe it has been 5 months since the engagement. Time flew by in a blink of an eye. Asad and she have grown closer in this time. The little things he did for her made her heart swell with more love that she could have possibly ever thought of loving someone. Like when he would peck her nose to tease her and make her giggle when she was upset with him. Or when he would hold her hand in his and caress it soothingly during their late night walks. Or when he shared his future plans with her, telling her about their future together, about building a home and raising a family. Or when he would patiently listen to her complain about clients or her staff, and pulling her in a tight hug to make her feel better. She dreamed of a future with him. She wanted to be his wife, mother to his kids. A blush infused her cheeks thinking about their kids. Asad and her surely kissed, held hands, and sometimes even went a little further, but there was a line they never crossed. Both Asad and she have decided to wait till their wedding night. The fact that he had respected her and decided to wait meant a lot to her. There were many things he did without even her asking him, the little gestures that made her fall in love with him all over again. Not just Asad, Dilshad had become a second mother to her in these few months. She visited Dilshad often and they spent time together talking about various things from Asad's childhood, her memories with Rashid, fashion, to politics. She was really excited for her wedding though no date was set yet. Asad has been doing really well with his job, maybe coming up for a promotion soon. And he had saved up enough money along with the profit he made from selling the Mumbai house, and had put in an offer for a house. Zoya prayed that the offer was accepted. She couldn't wait any longer. Though, they met often, it wasn't the same as living together in the same house as husband and wife.

The next afternoon, Zoya was decorating one of the venues for a wedding in 2 days when she heard her phone ring. Answering it, "No...not the green ones. Use the blue, and ask Najma if she could get the white ones," she said to her staff. "But, don't stress her!" Zoya warned. "Hello," the voice on the phone interrupted her. "Oh oops...sorry Asad! Yeah I am here," she said. "Am I disturbing you?" he asked. "Oh no, just prepping as usual. And these new staff members are a little slow," Zoya said, a little frustrated. Asad could imagine her face when she said those words, and that made him chuckle. "Why are you laughing at me?" she questioned. "I am not. I wanted to talk to you about something," he told her. "Is everything ok?" Zoya asked worried. "Yeah, just the house issues," he replied. "Do you want to meet?" she offered. "Can you?" Asad said unsure. "Of course Asad. Hmmm...how about the coffee shop that we usually meet. It is not far from your office and from where I am now, I can be there probably in 20 minutes," Zoya said. "Sounds great, I will see you then," Asad said. About thirty minutes later, Asad and Zoya sat on one of the corner tables of the coffee shop. She was drinking her favorite caramel, ice latte where he was sipping his hot, coffee with just milk. "Asad, what is wrong? You said you wanted to talk but then you are sitting here silently," Zoya said confused. "There are some issues with the house offer," he told her. "What happened?" she said. "They are making a counter offer for the house. But, it is a lot more than I planned. I don't want to lose the house but I also don't know if taking out loans is a good idea," Asad explained. "Asad, do you really like the house?" she asked taking a sip of her latte. "Yes! I mean it's what I want in a house. It is spacious, conveniently located, and it is what we would need in the future," he said. "Then, don't let it go," she told him. "You mean I should take a loan? Is that a good idea?" Asad asked unsure. "No Asad, but I can help you," Zoya said. "I don't understand?" he said confused. "I have some money saved up, let me help," Zoya said. "But Zoya, that is not right. I want to buy this house for you, then how can I ask money from you?" Asad defended. "You are not asking Asad, I am offering because I want to. I know you are doing all this because Abu wants you to be stable before our wedding happens. But Asad, that was before he knew you. After so many months, I am sure he doesn't have any such conditions," Zoya explained. "Your Abu is not wrong, you deserve this and much much more," Asad said. She smiled and intertwined her fingers with his on the table. "You saying that is more than enough for me, but still please accept my help. I will be really happy, please," she pouted. Asad was silently watching her, debating if he should or not. "It's my house too right? Then why does it matter if you pay for it or we do it together?" Zoya argued. This time, he smiled. Just her saying it was their house and the way she behaved as she was his wife already. "Yay...that means you agreed right?" she cheered. "Ok fine," he said making her grin.

Zoya gave Asad the money he needed and the house deal was finalized the next day. Everyone was extremely happy. Asad and Dilshad had invited Zoya and her family along with Najma and Imran to come to their house for dinner. The family all walked inside and Zoya was going to follow them when he stopped her, holding her wrist. She turned around and looked at him with an inquiring look. "Wait here, I have something for you," he said and went inside. A few seconds later, he came back holding something in his hand. "What's this?" Zoya asked confused. Asad placed the slab he was holding on the floor near the entrance. "This is wet cement, I want both of us to place our feet on this and enter so I could capture this moment forever," Asad told her. Zoya looked at him lovingly. She was indeed the luckiest girl on this earth. "Come," he said offering his hand to her. Zoya placed her hand in his and they both stepped inside, keeping their feet on the cement so their footprint imprinted on it. After they walked, Asad carefully picked up the slab and kept it on the shelf near the entrance. "After it dries, I will put it over there," he said pointing to the place he had already designed for the cement slab. "You know, you are the best fianc ever," she said as she quickly placed a kiss on his cheek. "I try! After all, I am the fianc of the world's finest girl," he said making her cheeks fill with color. "I love when you do this," Asad said caressing her cheek. "Asad, stop! Let's go inside, I want to see the house," she said pulling him in. Asad took her around the house showing her the different rooms and attractions in the house. They went up the stairs, he took her into one of the rooms. It had a stunning view to the garden outside as well to the sea that was close to their house. "Wow Asad, this is so pretty," she admired. "It is," he said, his eyes focused on her. "I was talking about the room," she clarified. He walked up to her, wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "I wasn't," he said. "I love the house, it's beautiful," Zoya said. "And this is our room, I want you to decorate this room and house. I want to see your reflection in every corner of our house," Asad said pecking her lips. "Really...I would love to do that. I will start making sketches for it today itself," Zoya said excitedly. "Can't wait," Asad said, admiring the most beautiful sight in his house, the girl that stood in his arms at that moment.

The next evening, she stood in front of the mirror adorned in a simmering black sari with a fuchsia pink border along with a black and fuchsia colored blouse. Her hair was in loose waves on her back. She added just a pair of simple black earrings and some black bangles on her wrists. Checking herself in the mirror one last time, she stepped out of her room to leave. "OMG, my daughter looks beautiful tonight! Where are you going?" Zeenat exclaimed. "Don't know where I am going but Asad is taking me out," she said. "Awww...date huh?" Zeenat teased. "Ammi, stop it," Zoya said turning shades of pink. Zeenat smiled, taking her daughter in a hug. "I hope that your wedding day comes soon now that everything is settled. Seeing you with Asad in these months, I know that he is the one for you," she said. "Thanks Ammi," Zoya said with a grin. "Now go, I am sure Asad is waiting for you downstairs," Zeenat said. "Bye Ammi," Zoya said, giving her mother a hug and ran off the stairs, leaving a beaming Zeenat behind.

Walking out the door, Zoya saw Asad leaning against the car waiting for her. He looked dashing in a black suit with a white shirt. He was freshly shaven and his hair was gelled back giving him a handsome look. Zoya walked up to him and he straightened himself. "You look gorgeous," he admired, pecking her nose. "You clean up well too," she teased. "Never going to compliment me, are you?" he retorted. "I just did," Zoya said innocently. "Then, I have to say that you are pretty bad at it," he said. "What?" she pouted. Moving closer, she decreased the distance between and sealed her lips with his. They kissed passionately as the emotions overtook them. Breaking apart, she hid herself in his chest. "You look handsome Mr. Khan," she whispered making him grin. As they moved away, "I have something for you," he announced. "Gift...for me?" she said happily. "Hold on, one sec!" Asad said as he opened the back door of the car and retrieved something. Turning to face her again, Asad gave her a bouquet of white roses. Zoya became estatic. "Wow, this is amazing!" she said, taking the roses from him. Asad just smiled looking at her appreciate the gift he had given her. "Asad, what's special today? You asked me to dress up and come with you. But, I don't even know where we are going," Zoya realized. "You will know soon, come," he said as he opened the door and helped her into the passenger seat. "But Asad, I want to know now," she complained. He chuckled. "Patience love...patience," he said, closing the door. "Asad," Zoya called out but he was gone. The next minute, he got into the driver's seat and drove off. The entire route, Zoya kept nagging him about their destination but Asad wouldn't budge. "Zoya, just ten more minutes, we will be there," Asad stated. "Fine," she said finally as she turned away from him. Asad just smiled at her. He knew for sure that once they reached, all her anger was going to be gone with the wind.

Reaching their journey's end, he parked the car and got off. Coming to her side, Asad opened the door. She turned to the other side, still mad at me. "Zoya, don't be angry. Come with me!" he requested. "I don't want to talk to you. You know I hate waiting," she whined. Asad almost smirked at her childlike antics. She loved trying to be angry' at him and what he loved more was persuading her. "Zoya," he called but she didn't respond. "Fine, If this is your choice," Asad said and the next thing she felt her being lifted up in his arms. "Asad, what are you doing?" Zoya yelled. "Put me down! Where are we? And where are you taking me?" she asked. "I was going to tell you. But now that you didn't want to listen, you will just have to see," Asad told her. "Put me down Asad, someone will see!" she said. "Nope!" Asad firmly stated. "You are so stubborn," she accused. "But you love me!" Asad said confidently. She was trying hard to be upset with him but it was hard when he was staring at her with so much adoration in his chocolate brown eyes. Hearing his words, her cheeks filled with color. "You can be angry as me as much as you want, but I know how to convince you," Asad said, kissing her nose. "Asad, stop! Someone will see," Zoya said flustered. "I don't care. And there is no one here usually on weekdays," Asad told her. "Where are we?" she said confused trying to look around the dark surrounding. "You will know," Asad said as he stopped walking and placed her on the ground. Zoya straightened her pallu and looked around. Her eyes fell on something and she stood amazed. They were at the lake. Before her stood a yacht decorated with tea lights and garlands of red roses. "Asad, this is...this is amazing," Zoya said, still surprised. "There are more surprises, come with me," he said. Zoya excitedly wrapped her arm around his and they started to walk ahead. Reaching the yacht, Asad got inside and helped her in.

Reaching inside, Zoya was more surprised. There was a table set for two, with a formal white tablecloth, candles, and a few dishes that were covered. Soft, instrumental music played in the background setting the perfect mood. "Asad, how did you do all this? It's perfect...simply beautiful," Zoya said snuggling closer to him. Enfolding his arm around her waist, "I am so glad you liked it," Asad said. "But, how did you get all this done? I mean the yacht, and all this," Zoya asked as they walked to the table and Asad pulled the chair out for her. "This is a friend's from work. I asked him if I could borrow it for a night and he agreed," Asad replied as he walked to the adjacent chair and took a seat. "That's great," Zoya said happily. "I have your favs here," Asad said as he opened the dishes. Seeing her favorite Chinese food, Zoya beamed. "Asad, I can't believe you remembered all this, this is so sweet," she said lovingly. "I remember everything when it comes to you," Asad said and she smilingly tucked her hair away. "What's so special tonight? All these arrangements?" Zoya wondered out loud. "Let's eat, I am starving," he said, trying to avoid the topic. Zoya agreed and they started eating together. They went out to lunch, coffee shops, and met often but never really been on an official date till today. Zoya grinned looking around. He had done all this for her, she thought as her heart fluttered. Asad too was extremely happy. Seeing her smile was all he ever wanted. As they ate, Asad kept asking Zoya questions about her clients and the projects she was working on. He wanted her to be distracted so she wouldn't ask him why he had done all this. Asad wanted his surprise to stay that way till they finished dinner. Once they were done, Zoya stood at the edge of the boat holding on the railing while Asad had his hands wrapped around her torso. "I love being here," Zoya said admiring the scenery. The nightly sky looked dazzling with a full moon and shining stars. There was a calm and soothing wind that was blowing. "Me too," he said, pulling her closer in his arms. "Thank you Asad," Zoya said emotionally. "Zoya, you don't have to thank me for anything. You know na?" Asad asked her. "I know but still, I want you to thank you for making me feel like the luckiest girl on this earth," Zoya said smilingly.

They stood in each other's arms as time passed. Being with each other made them feel complete inside. "Can I ask you something?" Asad asked breaking the silence. "Yes," she said. "Say you love me!" he said. Zoya smiled. She turned around so she could face him and snaked her arms around his neck. "I love you Asad, I love you unconditionally," she declared looking into his eyes. Just listening to her words filled his heart with this feeling that he had no words to describe. It filled him with joy when the girl who he loved told him how she felt. And it was like that each time she confessed her feelings for him. He wanted this every day. He wanted to wake up with her in his arms and have her declare her feelings for him with as much sincerity and simplicity that she had done at that moment. "Can I ask you something else?" Asad questioned. Zoya giggled, "Asad, what is today? The 500 questions," she joked. "But, yes ask away," Zoya added becoming serious again. "What do you see in the future for us?" Asad said. "Hmmm...I want to become your wife, have may be 2...or 3 kids. I want to love you all my life with all my heart, I want to share my happiness and sorrows with you and hope you share yours with me. I want to have loads of fights with you, and expect you to convince me every time," she said laughing. "And I want to grow old with you," Zoya said. He smiled listening to her wishes and dreams that she had with him. Asad too wanted to do the same, and he only had ever thought about these things with her and only her. But, listening to her, he felt a little less nervous than before. Asad had never had this jittery feeling that he felt inside. He was planning on proposing to her but didn't know why he was so anxious about this. Of course, she would say yes when he asked but I guess everyone had this feeling of uncertainty. A moment where he was afraid to lose his love, scared to lose her. So many things happened even before they started their life that somewhere deep down, he was fearful. "Asad, what happened?" Zoya said, bringing him out of his trance. "I love you Zoya, I love you so much!" Asad said, enveloping her in a tight hug.

Breaking apart, "can I ask you one more thing?" he asked. Zoya nodded wondering what he was going to ask her now. She was confused why Asad was asking her so many questions tonight. They have become very comfortable with each other from the past 5 months and even before their engagement. However, tonight Asad was asking all these questions which was weird. Upon her response, he moved back removing her hands from around his neck. "Asad," Zoya said surprised. Asad went on his knee and looked up at her. "Zoya, before you came into my life, I was living like a machine. My life had become a routine of accepting my helplessness as my destiny. I had somewhere lost myself in a monotonous cycle called life. I had forgotten how to live. But, when I met you, everything changed. You were the sunrise of my dark life; you lit my life up just like the sun lights up the world. You filled my blank canvas with variety of bright colors. You made me realize what it was to be myself. You made me find myself and return my mother that the son she had lost. You saved me from drowning Zoya. I tried so hard to stay away from you Zoya, but there was a pull that bound me to you. And I want that bond to last forever. I also want you to be my wife. I want to have kids...but you know I want 12 kids like I told you," he said chuckling at the end. "But I also want to make you smile, laugh, and persuade you every single day of my life till I breathe my last. Will you be mine forever? Will you marry me?" Asad said pulling of a small black box that contained a beautiful ring. Zoya, on the other hand, was shocked. She couldn't believe he was telling her all this. Zoya always understood his love without him saying anything. His eyes and his actions spoke a lot. The more she thought about it, the more real it seemed. She was the luckiest girl on earth, she thought as tears roll down her cheeks. "Zoya, say something if not I might have to leave you on this yacht in middle of the water," he said when she didn't say anything. Zoya laughed, "I am sorry. Yes...yes I will marry you!" she announced. Asad happily slipped the ring on her right ring finger as the left one contained their engagement ring. He stood up and enveloped her in a hug. Breaking apart, cupping her face in his hands, he bent down and sealed her lips with his. Emotions flared inside them as they passionately kissed. Moving apart, they gasped for air. "I love you Asad," she said, pecking his lips again.

The drive home was a ecstatic one. Zoya was so happy. She had called Najma first and told her about what had happened. Asad almost had to let go off the steering wheel and cover his ears to prevent him from going deaf from all the screaming the sisters were doing. "I can't believe this day has come, we should have so had a double wedding," Najma said. "You should seriously give up on that. It's been 5 months Tamatar," Zoya said with a laugh. "Hey, maybe we could have kids together," Najma said excitedly. "What? Are you crazy?" Zoya yelled, turning crimson. "You give the phone to Asad, I will tell him," Najma suggested. "What? I will kill you!" Zoya said making Najma laugh on the other end. She loved teasing her sister and Asad, it was so much fun. Asad looked at Zoya confused. Within few minutes, these sisters have gone from cheering for each other to yelling. "What happened?" he said trying to focus on the road. "Nothing! My sister has seriously lost it. Pregnancy is making you insane," Zoya said, as she spoke to Asad and on the phone at the same time. They both chuckled at her. "Whatever sister, you will know soon," Najma said. "If you weren't pregnant, then I would come to your house right now and smack you," Zoya warned. Najma was expecting. She was about 3 months along. Zoya was taking care of her sister at work very carefully. She tried not to give her any stress or too much work. Zeenat had told Zoya that it was important that Najma was happy at a time like this and Zoya did everything in her power to do that. "I love you sista," Najma stated. Zoya sighed, "I love you too, take care," she said. Soon, they reached the Farooqui house. Zoya ran inside telling her parents the happy news and Asad followed her. Zeenat and Anwar were both overjoyed. Zeenat embraced Zoya while Anwar pulled Asad in a hug.

Within the next few days, Zoya's parents and Dilshad had talked with each other and the date was set three weeks later. Asad and Zoya had requested a simple wedding which was going to be held in the Farooqui house. Day before the wedding, the ladies had planned to do have a small mehendi and sangeet ceremony. It was the morning of the mehendi ceremony, Zoya sat in her room thinking about something. She had debated a lot about this but she was confused. Should she call him? Was that right? You have every right over Asad's life Zoya, you should call him, her heart told her. "I am not going to know until I call him, come on Zoya, it's not that hard. Just dial," she encouraged herself. Zoya picked up her phone and dialed the number she had found out by checking online. "Gaffur Siddiqui's office," the person answered. "Hello, I need to talk to Mr. Siddiqui please," Zoya said. "Do you have appointment with him? Does he know you?" the girl on the phone questioned. "Well...I just need to talk him. Please, it is really important," Zoya requested. "But mam, at least tell me your name," the girl said. "I will tell him, please just put me through to Mr. Siddiqui," Zoya told her. Sensing the panic in Zoya's voice, the girl agreed and transferred her to Gaffur. Hearing him speak on the phone, Zoya froze. She didn't know what to do now. "Hello...how can I help you? What did you want to talk to me about?" Gaffur repeated for the 3^rd time. "Mr. Siddiqui, This is Zoya," she finally spoke up. It took a minute to understand who was on the phone. "Zoya? Why are you calling me?" he said surprised. "Mr. Siddiqui, I had to talk to you. Please just give me a minute of your time," Zoya said. "Go ahead," Gaffur said unsure. "First of all, I want to apologize for what happened 6 months ago. I know that saying sorry is not enough but everything happened so fast that I never had a chance to talk you or Tanveer. I hope someday you can find it in you to forgive me," Zoya told him. "Is everything alright? Why are you calling me now?" Gaffur asked confused yet worried at the same time. "Asad and I are getting married tomorrow. I was hoping that you could come tomorrow. Asad has always looked up to you and you are the closest thing he has to a father. I know he will miss his dad tomorrow so I thought if you came, he might feel a little better," Zoya said. Gaffur was shocked. He couldn't believe that Zoya was calling him to their wedding, especially after everything tanveer had done. "I know this might be surprising for you. But I was hoping that you wouldn't take out your frustration with me on Asad. I hope to see you tomorrow. I can text you my address if you give me your phone number," Zoya said hopefully. Gaffur didn't speak for a few minutes but then finally said, "I will think about it. My number is...," and he gave her his number. Zoya hung up the phone. She was extremely happy that he had at least said he will think about it. That itself meant a lot to her. Zoya added his number to her contacts and messaged him her home address and the time for the ceremony tomorrow.

That night, the Farooqui house glittered with white and gold lights along with flower garlands. They had setup the backyard for the ceremony. As it was just a small party with just family and close friends, the space was more than enough. Zoya was dressed in a sleeveless, green anarkali. Her hair plated back with simple gold earrings and a maang teeka. She looked simple yet marvelous. Dilshad walked up to her, "You look beautiful beta, mashAllah," she said lovingly. "Indeed!" Zeenat agreed. "Come, it's time to adorn your hands with henna, that too with Asad's name," Najma whispered to her sister, making Zoya turn red. Soon, the ladies decorated Zoya's hands and feet with henna. As she was sitting to let her henna dry, Najma and the others started to dance. Najma was so excited. She couldn't believe that Asad and Zoya were going to be one tomorrow. She had always wished for her sister to get true love. A person who would understand and love her just as she deserved, Allah has finally accepted her prayers when Asad had walked into Zoya's life. Najma ran up to Zoya and pulled her in the middle. Zoya too swayed to the music with her sister and friends. Zeenat and Anwar were filled with joy. Both their daughters have been blessed with really good life partners. That is all they have wanted as parents, their daughters to be happy. Dilshad too was very happy. Knowing Zoya from the past 6 months, she was sure that Zoya was the one that could keep her son happy through his life. She was the perfect life partner for him. The glow she saw on Asad's face ever since he had met Zoya, Dilshad has never seen in him before. The whole evening passed with dancing, cheerful conversations, lot of teasing, and of course delicious food.

Zoya was tired from sitting for such a long time that she excused herself and went inside the house. She wanted some time to relax. Walking up to her room, she climbed up on her bed. Taking a seat, she closed her eyes. Memories of every moment she had spent with Asad ran through her mind. Tomorrow was the big day. She would be Mrs. Khan from Ms. Farooqui tomorrow. Her Asad would become hers forever. A smile crept up her lips thinking about that. Suddenly, she heard a sound. Zoya sat up startled and looked around. She couldn't see anyone but she felt someone's presence. Zoya got off the bed and went around the room but she didn't see anyone. "Maybe there is no one, I am just tired," she mumbled to herself. At that moment, someone wrapped their arms around her. "Oh my...Asad," Zoya was about to scream but the moment she felt his touch, his name escaped her lips. "What are you doing here?" Zoya said surprised. "I wanted to see you," he replied casually. "Asad, we are not supposed to meet till the nikkah. Remember what Ammi and Dilshad Ammi said," Zoya told him. "No one is stopping me from meeting my bride," Asad said moving close to her. Zoya felt his breath on her cheeks and her face instantly became pink. "I missed you," Asad told her honestly. She looked up at him, "Me too. But just one more day Asad," Zoya said. "I don't think I can wait, especially if you look so gorgeous," Asad said, pulling her closer and kissing her lips. Zoya closed her eyes in bliss feeling his lips on hers. She loved when he kissed her. There was something in his touch that sent shivers down her spine. The emotions in his eyes always made her go weak. Asad then kissed her eye lids, her nose, and finally her lips again. Zoya felt her body go numb but there was a storm inside her. They broke apart and Asad turned her around so that her back was facing her chest. Placing one arm around her waist, he pulled her towards him. Zoya felt her heart palpitate and her breathing become heavy. Her anarkali had a slit on the side through which he had put her arm through and was touching her bare waist. Moving her braid aside, he pecked her nape. "Asad," Zoya moaned as she shivered under his touch. Hearing her whisper his name, Asad wanted to break all boundaries. He opened the dori of her anarkarli and lovingly trailed kisses along her exposed back. Zoya closed her eyes and was thankful that he was holding her. He caressed her bare waist causing her body to burn up in flames. He bit her exposed skin on her shoulder. "Asad...please," she shuddered. He then soothed the bite mark on her skin with his lips. They both were losing themselves to the emotions inside. Asad was about to slide the anarkali off her shoulder when he realized what they were doing. She was just lost in emotions. He knew that Zoya would not want this. Even if they went ahead, Zoya would regret it later. And he would never let that happened. He loosened his grip and stepped back. "We can't do this," he said. Zoya broke out of the trance she was in. "I am sorry Asad," she said. "Hey, don't apologize. Never apologize for who you are," he said cupping her face. "Zoya, I will wait for you. Anyways, it is just one more day. And tomorrow, no one can stop me, not even you," Asad told her. Zoya smiled as her whole body trembled in excitement and happiness thinking about their wedding night. "I can't either," she spoke up looking into his eyes. "I love you Asad," Zoya said as she moved forward and placed a kiss on his cheek. Asad grinned, "I love you too. I will see you tomorrow," he said and left from there, leaving a blushingly, excited and happy Zoya behind.