Arhi SS : Chemistry #2 [ Completed : IMP NOTE : Pg 148 : 7/3 ] - Page 12

Arhi SS : Chemistry - Part 11

Khushi flushed at how brazenly Arnav had held her hand and dragged her to his room... what would their families be thinking? As soon as she entered his room, she was about to give him a sound lashing when her gaze drifted to the wall behind the lone king-sized bed. A huge photograph of a beautiful woman, holding a baby in her arms, hung there. The woman's eyes shone with motherly love, which Khushi had often witnessed in her mother's eyes. The radiant face, spoke of how happy she was with the child ensconced in her arms. It was an old black and white photograph, which added a different softness to it.

"That is my mother," Arnav whispered, breaking her string of thoughts seeing the picture. As those words left his mouth, an involuntary smile graced her lips. No wonder she was attracted to the eyes... because they were just like Arnav. As if reading her thoughts, Arnav whispered again, "Yeah... I have her eyes... everyone says that, the moment they see this picture. I guess it is more because of the angle it is captured in." Khushi felt him standing right behind her, his hands going around her waist to hold her close to himself. Resting his chin on her shoulders, she felt his warm breath fanning her neck, spreading goosebumps across her body.

Her eyes once again flit to the woman in the picture and she said honestly, "She is so beautiful Arnav. And in her arms is that you?" He nodded without saying anything. She felt his pain slowly seeping through his body into hers. The young and flamboyant business tycoon Arnav Singh Raizada, had a beautiful photograph of his mother in his room... who would have ever thought? A while ago, Khushi had witnessed the sadness in his eyes, when he had joked about sharing her mom. She had known how much he missed his mother. However, what she had been unaware was the depth of hurt and sorrow Arnav lived in.

While they had been seated in the car last night, kissing to their hearts content, something had suddenly shifted within him and at this moment she realized what it might have been. Turning around in his arms, Khushi cupped his face and asked, "What is the matter Thakur? You are sad..." her words trailed, just like her fingers trailed from the scar on his forehead to his eyebrow. He looked into her eyes, finally the mask of indifference crumbling low. There was so much anguish in those eyes, that Khushi felt her heart splinter for this bold, beautiful, strong man in front of her... who despite having grown in years, was still imprisoned in the shackles of the past.

"Yes that is me... in her arms... my beautiful maa. I still remember every loving word she showered on me. I still cringe at her reprimanding me for my mistakes. I try to do everything that would make her proud... knowing that her son has grown up into a man she had always dreamt of. She was everything to me, Khushi. Dad would go to work all day, coming home late in the evenings. It was only maa. who would look after my every need. Waking up early, she would get me ready for school, feed me hot breakfast, pack my school tiffin, pick me up from school, prepare delicious snacks in the evening, look into my homework and help me with the projects to making sure that I slept early. She was with me in each step of my life... my life till I turned fourteen."

Khushi heard his voice cracking and rushed to hold Arnav's had for support. He squeezed his eyes shut, taking in gulps of oxygen trying to push the lump that seemed to have clogged his throat. All she could do is give him some time and space... he needed a moment to gather himself and her heart literally broke to see the man in front of her, braving so much pain. After a few seconds of silence, he whispered, "I was busy with my examinations. That morning, maa made my favourite aalu parathas. Feeding them to me, while I revised the book, she dropped me to the school bus. She kissed me before I left Khushi and when I returned home after a few hours... she was no more. I did not know what to do. I could not believe it. I cried and cried. I yelled at dad... threatened him to get maa back. But she did not come back Khushi... she did not come back... I lost her forever."

Only someone with a heart of stone would remain unmoved by such agonizing words. Khushi left his hand and rushed into his arms. Her eyes moist... tears trailing down her cheeks as she rushed to wipe his. She could feel Arnav's pain seep into her pores, as he let go all of the last barriers and cried in her arms. It had been years of pretending to be strong, months and months of bottling up these emotions that had finally let loose. Khushi held onto him, soothing him, running her hand over his back trying to take away his pain. No one could ever empathize the pain of losing a parent until one went through the tormenting experience themself; and Khushi could simply feel every ache afresh through him.

After a few minutes, his sobs subsided and Arnav gained control over his emotions. Taking a moment to calm himself down, he pulled away and quickly walked to the washroom to was the tears away. Khushi in the mean time wiped her own tears and poured a glass of water for him to drink. She saw him coming out of the washroom, face sullen and damp hair and could not help but rush to him to drop a soft kiss on his cheek. "You okay?" she asked hesitantly. He simply nodded and took the glass of water from her hand and downed it in a go. They settled onto the recliner, silently besides each other. The tumult of emotions was high and Khushi wasn't even sure how to begin to console him.

Thankfully he was the one to break the silence as he whispered hoarsely, "After maa was gone Khushi, dad and me were completely lost. He was shattered and heartbroken. I would see him walking around the house aimlessly at nights. He had stopped talking to me completely and as a child I did not know who to look upto. The one person who would cater to my every need was gone and I felt so completely lost. It was only when nani came and began to live with us, that we managed to gather ourselves. Despite her own grief, she made sure to get us out of ours. She unknowingly became a mother to me."

Khushi listed silently as Arnav kept talking in a flow. His hand held onto hers, sometimes drawing strength from her. "I saw how dad was after maa passed away. He had lost his will to live. The light in his eyes had dimmed, making everything else in this world worthless. I myself was going through the same emotions Khushi. Slowly and steadily as time went by, we managed to get used to this empty feeling within us. A void that no one could ever fill, seemed to somehow become a permanent residence in our home. I realized that depending on someone, loving someone whole-heartedly only directed us to heartbreak. As I grew, my belief in this though kept of becoming firmer. I stopped getting emotionally attached to anyone... not even nani. That is the sole reason that Akash, my cousin brother is closer to her than me. I could not put my heart out on the line again and it is possible that a lot of people go through such experiences or worse, but I guess I am weak and the fear of losing someone close to me always plagues my mind."

Arnav paused briefly, as Khushi tried to take in all this information. It seemed like she was seeing a completely different Arnav. A Arnav who was extremely serious, behind the facade of jest. A Arnav who was emotionally vulnerable, under the guise of his manly strength. And through his insecurities, where was their relationship headed? Her own heart fluttered with anxiety. Khushi was about to voice her worries when she heard Arnav speaking again. "I have had a few girlfriends Khushi, but none of them lasted for more than a few months. I would always withdraw, the moment I would realize that things are getting serious from their end. I did not want to lead them to a dream which I would never be able to fulfill."

His words threatened her, as she felt her heartbeat picking up speed. Was all this conversation headed to something she dreaded the most? A few minutes ago, everything around her seemed to be bright and sunny. His family had welcomed her warmly into their home... she had finally found a nani and had even agreed to share her mom with Arnav. Even though they had not discussed the parameters of their relationship, deep down Khushi knew it, that whatever she felt for Arnav was much more than simple liking or infatuation. The chemistry they shared was explosive and finally when she was actually realizing the undercurrents between a couple... Arnav was talking about breaking dreams and no commitments?

"Khushi??" Arnav nudged her to gain her attention. She looked into his brown eyes, confusion and uncertainty clouding her face. Maybe the look on her face would have given away her insecurities, as he rushed closer to cup her face into his warm hands. She felt him brush his thumb over her cheek... the touch igniting a burn in the pit of her stomach. Despite the gloom settling down around her, she could not ignore the feelings he awakened within her body. She leaned into his warmth, closing her eyes for a brief moment of clarity.

She heard him whisper, "I am scared Khushi... of our closeness... of the way you make me feel. When I am this close to you, my heart explodes into a million emotions of happiness and love. When I am away from you, all I can think about is being with you. I feel protective of you. Despite my history of keeping an emotional distance from everyone... with you... I am not being able to do so. Everything about you is pulling me closer... sucking me into this crazy place that scares the shit out of me." He breathed, as Khushi heard an echo of her own feelings. How was it possible that both of them were feeling emotions in sync?

Mustering up courage Khushi let her heart voice its opinions. If Arnav had taken a few steps towards her, she needed to put in some effort too. "Arnav... this heart," Khushi began, taking his hand in her own and placing it on her chest over her heart. It was the most intimate touch they had shared, but what could be more intimate than the disclosure of their hearts? She continued, "This heart does not know what love is... but it knows what it is to love. I have always dreamt of a fairytale and had almost lived in one... where best friends turn into lovers and live happily ever after. But then reality struck hard and I realized that there is no such thing as perfect life. We have to live each moment and make it perfect, Arnav."

"I cannot imagine how you must be feeling... the pain, the hurt, the trauma of losing a parent is just unfathomable. However, you have to move past that Arnav... for your mother... who would want to see her son truly free from the baggage of the past... living his life freely... happy in whatever he does," Khushi paused, looking into his eyes for some respite. Beneath his warm hand, her heart ached, fearing his decision about them. Thinking it wise to tell him all, she said, "Arnav... why does it happen that whenever you are close to me, my heart starts beating rapidly in my chest? Why does your presence make me forget everything else? Your touch drives me insane and I somehow cannot seem to get enough of your drugging kisses. Spending time with you, chatting randomly, visiting various cafes and restaurants, sharing meals, working together... I have gotten used to all of this. I cannot control these strong emotions bursting from my entire being... and only for them I want to give... whatever is between us... a chance..."

She left the conversation incomplete her eyes seeking some response from him. And he did not let her down. He smiled... a beautiful smile that lit up his handsome face and Khushi's heart flared with hope. Quickly putting her out of misery he said, "Gabbar..." Khushi did not know until now, how much she had fallen in love with this name he had given her. It corresponded to the happy times they spent with each other. Hearing the endearment from him in this particular moment brought her heart alive and kicking. Adrenaline rushed into her veins and she smiled in relief. He must have seen the change in her body language, which immediately relaxed him a little.

Brushing the unruly locks of hair from her face, he continued, "I have been wanting to tell you all about my ideologies for a long time Khushi. I was fighting an inner battle, each time I drifted along the currents that led me to you. However, now I want to give up this fight... give up this conflict and let my emotions just overflow. I don't know what to name this thing between us and I somehow feel why do we even want to name it! I know one thing for sure is I want to spend my every free moment with you... knowing you, teasing you, troubling you and kissing you... No more holding back from my end, Gabbar and I promise to give it all to this relationship. Whenever we both are ready to take it to the next level... we mutually will. Till then let's make the most of what we have... what did you call it?? Chemistry... isn't it?"

Khushi nodded eagerly barely managing to contain her bright smile. She watched him, as he leaned into her, taking her lips into a tender kiss. This kiss was different than the ones they had shared. She hand never seen this soft side of him. She melted into his arms as he backed her up against the wall. His hands were everywhere, needing to touch her. She herself entangled her fingers into his soft hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. His suckles, his drugging kisses, his soft bites on her tender skin had her burning for more. So lost was she in his embrace that she had lost complete semblance of her surroundings. It was only when he pulled away and throatily whispered her name that sanity returned.

They were in his house, in his room for God's sake! His family and hers were just beyond that door. As if reading her mind he whispered, "We need to get back out there. I am sure all of them must be secretly getting fidgety." She nodded and moved back, instantly feeling the loss of his warmth. Reaching once to peck his lips softly, she said, "I just need to freshen up. I am sure my eyeliner must have run down and my lipstick wiped off, all thanks to you Thakur." He laughed heartily, making her heart skip a beat. Moving away from him she entered the washroom, to be utterly shocked at her state. She looked like a zombie. Taking her own sweet time to freshen up, she walked out to see Arnav casually laying on his recliner. She could hear loud voices and laughter from outside the door and she looked at Arnav questioningly. He simply shook his head and held her hand, leading her outside the door.

Their families burst into another round of laughter as Khushi came face to face with whom she guessed to be Akash... Arnav's crazy cousin. Without waiting for Arnav to introduce them, Akash walked over to her and said, "Hi, I am Akash and you must be Khushi?" She nodded and was shocked to be engulfed into a bear hug by this friendly guy. She looked over Akash's shoulder to see a stiff Arnav, looking at them furiously. She gave him a look, which said, "he is like my younger brother idiot!" to which he seemed to relax a bit. "It is so nice to finally meet you. Arnav keeps talking a lot about you," Akash said genuinely, only to have Khushi blush. She felt the eyes of the entire gathering on her and wondered what they were going to think of this statement. She pleaded Arnav with her eyes, to save her from this cousin of his, who did not seem to have a filter over his mouth.

Before Akash could say something more, Arnav said, "Akash, I was wondering how nani forgot to invite you for lunch." Akash turned his focus towards his brother and replied, "Well, actually I had a lunch date already planned. So I promised nani I would be here for the desserts. Which reminds me, nani... where is my halwa?" Nani almost stood up to be pushed down once again in her seat when Khushi said, "Nani, I will get the desserts. And before you worry about how I will manage... don't worry, I will manage." Smiling at everyone, she swiftly entered the kitchen, only to be followed by an over-excited Akash.

"Khud-khushi... let me help you with serving everyone," Akash chattered as he helped Khushi get the dishes and spoons. "Khud-khushi?" she queried. Akash smirked at her, making her think about Arnav's smirk. The two brothers did have similar traits, although Akash notched much higher in the excitement compartment. "Well what can I say about a girl who has brought upon herself, the torture from my brother. Dating my brother is suicide... khud-khushi literally!!" Khushi giggled at this new version of her name and wondered how Arnav would react to it. Filling up the plates with warm gajar halwa with dollops of chilled vanilla ice-cream, the duo made their way into the living room. Laughter and chatter settled around everyone, as the sweetness of the dessert intermingled with the sweetness of the people Khushi was surrounded with. Life could not be more perfect that what it was, she mused.

Part 12