Chapter 9
For a moment she felt he was going to kiss her, for a moment she felt he would confess his undying feelings for her, for a moment she felt she had found her love after all. But that moment was gone and it never was the way she liked it. All he said was, "Its time for you to go sahana"
He undid her belt as she stared at him completely lost to the world; he got out of the car and held the door open for her. Sahana didn't blink and continued with her staring session'. That was until the train made a huge screech with loud horn that was enough for the whole city to alert. Coming out of her reverie, she stepped out, her eyes red as if accusing him. He didn't budge. He looked heartless, cold and carfree. It broke her all the way again.
"Thank You" she said before walking towards the station. Rahul stared at her
back long and hard, why is that he always found himself staring at her from
behind? Was it because he never had enough courage? Or was it because he felt
she was too good for him? He would never know. All those times he had seen her
sitting quietly reading, studying, biting her nails absent-mindedly, laughing
with her friends, smiling while reading romance-clichs, he never knew he would
face a day when all those little things would mean so much more to him. Even
after all these years, he was yet again in the same place. Staring at her from
behind, just like the old times.
*-*-*-*-*
"Oh My God! That's sahana!" her friend Anjali screamed as she entered the station. She found two inspectors talking to her other friends, sahana frowned. "we were so worried! Where the hell did you go? God! You are okay right? Nothing happened no?" Anjali asked hugging her anxiously.
Sahana smiled, "I am fine and yes, I was uh.. kind of lost.. and then he found me..."
"he?"
"Er... my old friend.. I was at his place.. um.. thanks to my lack of interest in the trip I had no idea where the next destination was and how the hell to contact you people, I had left all my belongings in the bus.. somehow I figured about the station and Tada! Here I am!!" Sahana tried to hide her tears as much as she could.
"That's good!" Anjali pulled her towards their group where everyone showed their concerns and the inspector left after confirming she was back safe. But Sahana didn't seem to notice anything that was happening around. She didn't notice how worried and happy her friends where to find her back. She didn't notice how everyone went on and on about searching her. but she? She didn't hear or listen any of it. Her mind was still stuck at certain someone, who had once again broken her into millions of pieces. Time seemed to stop, nothing mattered other than her heart which was completely shredded.
"Don't worry about your stuffs! We got it all. Its in your compartment, seat number 6.. and your mom called several times, before you ask, no we didn't tell her but we wer going to if u hadn't showed up!" Anjali told her. Sahana excused herself rushing towards her compartment. She need space to cry and not pretend that she was happy to find her friends! Once inside she broke down crying her heart out.
Strangely though, it had started raining by then and Rahul stood rooted to the ground; Lost. Should he have told her? He kept thinking again and again.
*-*-*-*-*
Calling her mother, especially when she was broken was not a good idea, but she pulled it off well. Sahana sat silently staring at the buzzing station. Every individual was running here and there. Few parents were seeing off their kids, some husbands were bidding byes to their wives, few old people were silently crying as their family was about to leave. But sahana wasn't actually concentrating on the happenings, her mind was wondering on the incident which took place years back. Why was Rahul standing outside her dorm that night? Why?
Just then her bag fell off the rack when one of the passenger dragged their stuffs to their compartment. "Oh god! So sorry.. let me help you!" Sahana too bent down packing back things. "No that's alright.." She said collecting her things. As she placed her bag back in the cabin she saw a small teddy bear lying in the ground. She picked it up with hitched breath. It was the same toy rahul had gifted her, she would carry it anywhere and everywhere. It symbolized how nave she once was, it gave her the will to move on, it gave her comfort, it gave her memories.
Sahana stared at the little teddy bear long and hard while recalling a familiar incident of Rahul waiting for her outside her dorm. That's when she recalled that her teddy had a key! A key which she hadn't triggered since the last time it broke.
Sahana sat back in her seat, with shivering hands she turned the key around and the teddy made a little squeak. Just like the last time, sahana was startled; this time she didn't drop it down instead she waited patiently to know what it could do next. It did nothing! Frustrated and angry for even expecting something out it, she threw it to her side. It hit the seat next to her and fell down with a thud. Without caring, sahana stared out of the window taking deep breaths. That's when she heard voice, a recording that erupted from the little teddy.
"Haha! What should I say? Um is it that cheesy? I mean.. its not even like me.. I don't go out of the way to do anything for anyone. And see? Here I am, having no guts to speak infront of you.. I am recording all this. Gosh!! Anyway, before you think its all a prank, NO! it isn't.. are you really this dumb or do I have that effect on you?"
Shocked, sahana held the teddy in her hand as Rahul's recorded voice continued to create myriad of emotions inside her.
"Did I ever tell you, you make me speechless? Every time I see you I just don't know what happens to me! I keep staring at you and I don't even wanna stop doing that. I try to get your attention so much you know? Ofcourse you are so dumb observe that. Wait are you going to hold grudge against me for calling you dumb? Oh please don't! you know I mean it in a cute, adorable way right? Ugh! Look, this is not my thing okay.. These confessions, I hate it.. I just, may be not that good in accepting I can love someone more than anything!! Do not laugh!"
Sahana held back her giggle as a lone tear escaped her eyes.
"You make me crazy! I am at wits end everytime I think how do I tell you all this. If you haven't figured yet, you dumbass, I am deeply, madly and incredibly in love with you! Yes you heard right! And this is me having no guts to spill this infront of you.. but I promise if you, if you feel the same way, I will make sure every single day of your life will be special and every single day I will tell you how much I love you. That's said, I want to know your answer too. Tonight, I will be waiting outside your dorm. Come before 12 and tell me if you love me.. and if your answer is no, then donot come. Seeing how much you seem to get conscious, nervous around me I am pretty sure you feel the same way too. If you don't show up, it will be huge blow to my proposal, first ever proposal! And don't expect me to be the same around you after that. You do know my high edged ego right? But that wont happen! Coz I know, you will be there.
Sahana, I love you. I really do. Please do come.."
Sahana stood there rooted to her place. Everything now fell into pieces. Rahul loves her! he loves her.. her.. she squealed, jumped, cried, and cared less about the stares from her friends.
"I have to go.. I finally found it!"
sahana squeaked hugging her friend Anjali and ran out hurriedly.
*-*-*-*-*
Epilogue
Every Once In A While, In The Middle Of An Ordinary Life, Love Gives Us A FairyTale.
The bright red color caught my attention as I opened my eyes. My cousins suddenly appeared and sat on my bed pulling out my palm which I was now staring intently at.
"Gosh! Look at the color! Its soo bright.." Anu, my second cousin, who is a sappy teenager beamed. My first cousin Sandhya, too stared at it for good few seconds before she broke into a ridiculously mischievous grin, "Jiju loves you sooo much naaa" she started tickling me. Anu too joined in as it seemed the best thing to do to the bride who was getting married in less than 3 hours!
"Geez! Cut it out will you? Both of you out of my bed now!!" I growled. But they giggled and continued to torture me as I broke into thunderous laughter due to continuous tickles.
"Good O'Lord! Look at these three! Sahana! Are you forgetting you are going to get married in less than few hours?" My mother made her way into the room shooing of monsters named my cousins! I thanked her earnestly.
"Omg! Look at that color. You are lucky woman.." Mom said kissing my palm. I blushed, Whats with everyone today? She couldn't deny how bright her mehendi was beaming back at her.
"Go have a bath.. we have to get you ready very soon.. your stylists and make up girl have already arrived. And you Chikkamma (Maasi) can't wait to get you dolled up for your wedding.. Move now.." My mom shoved me inside the bathroom.
Last few months have been terrific. I never knew getting married would be this exciting and tiring as well. But I was merrily enjoying it. Every bit of it. I refuse to recall what would have happened if I hadn't found that teddy that day. Getting married to my one and only Unrequited love, is surely like a fairy tale.
I can't believe I had did it. Few months before, in railway station, like a stupid-drunk-teenager, I had ran all the way to the parking lot in heavy rain, searching frantically for certain someone. I had sworn I would break his head into million pieces, but I also wished for him to be there, just like how he was waiting for me outside my dorm years back.
He was no-where in vicinity. I can't explain how disheartened I had been when I didn't find him. I didn't know the way back, I didn't know the place where he stayed, I didn't have his contact number, Hell I didn't even know the car number in which he drove me to the station.
I was crumpled, crushed and broken. For the second time that day, I felt like someone had robbed my heart with bare hands by plucking it out of my chest! I didn't know where to go. I tried communicating with Rikshaw drivers to drive me to his place. Neither they understood my language nor did I and I didn't have patience to ask someone translate for us either.
After getting drenched in rain for what seemed eternity, I walked back to the station. To my utter fate, the train was gone. No trace of my friends, no trace of anyone!
The crowd in the station had subdued when I had walked back. I didn't know where to go and what to do. Clutching the teddy bear in my hand I sat upon the steps of the over bridge. No money, I didn't know the people, I didn't know the language, I had no idea where the hell I was.
As the sense of deja vu rushed back, I dodged it away. For the first time I was not worried that I was lost again. I was not worried, that probably no one would ever find me again. I was not worried that this may be end of life. All I was worried was, i didn't find him! he was gone. I lost him all over again!
But god had other plans, I suddenly heard footsteps of someone running through the bridge, as I was sitting on the way, I made space for the guy to pass. When he started running down the steps I glanced up to wipe my nose. My teddy bear slipped out of my hands and rolled over. It stopped right at the end of steps and the guy stopped abruptly.
In a daze I walked briskly down to grab my teddy back. It was the only thing I had.
The guy picked it up for me and when I had look at his face I almost fainted.
"Sahana!!!!!" he breathed, his voice dipping with surprise, relief.
I didn't know what to do, what came over me, nor did I have any sense on my reactions. I stood infront of him and started hitting him frantically. I knew my fists and punches were hurting him but he said nothing. He didn't stop me either. Taking my liberty I continued, my tears dried up and my voice sore. I was drenched in rain and so was he.
After few minutes, my fists slowed down and I hugged him. "Idiot! Stupid!! Couldn't you tell me?"
I yelled, "It was stupid stupid idea! How would I know Mr.Smart ass had recorded his mindblowing confession? Haan?? You have no guts to tell me on my face? Then its not love at all! You don't love me at all!" I continued to ramble. Finally he broke his silence and stared at me.
"I.Love.You.Sahana!" he said, his voice loud and clear, his eyes locked with mine.
I was once again speechless, "I have been searching for you for more than an hour!! Where the hell did you go? I stayed in your seat until the train started moving thinking you would come back, I couldn't let you go this time. Not this way sahana, not without telling you how much I love you!!! God! You drive me crazy woman! Not even a day since I met you again and here I am running in rain frantically searching for a dumbass!!" he said
His forehead rested on mine, I sniffed "i was searching for you.." I said simply.
He took a deep breath, "why?"
I looked up to meet his eyes and then started punching him again, "Can't you understand already? Because I am deeply, madly in love with you!!!! And I have always been! If you weren't stupid enough and had said it to my face ages ago,We would be happily married by now!!" I yelled, not having any control over my words.
Amusement was clear in his face, "Ms.Sahana are you by any chance proposing me to marriage?" he asked me with a wink.
I shut my mouth and stared at him incredulously. His eyes were twinkling, "What if I am?" I asked in a small voice, my bravery was surprising the hell out of me! Where the hell these words were coming from?
"then I would be more than happy to make you mine and mine only for the rest of the life and beyond that.." he said kissing my eyes.
"Ah.. cheesy.. is this how you are going to be for the rest of our life?" I asked him scrunching my nose.
"Is that a problem?" he asked me.
I bit my tongue "Not if you kiss me now.."
And that's exactly what he did.
"Sahana!! Faster!! Your Chikkamma is here!!! We have to dress you up sweetheart.." My mother knocked the door slightly.
My mobile beeped as I was about to open the door. I held back and smiled as the message popped up.
*Can't wait to see my bride*
I smiled and replied back, *Your bride will be ready in 2 hours Mr.Hubby-to-be. And I can't wait to see my Shirtless-Groom either! ;)*
I grinned at the text message I had sent and walked out of the room. We were having Malyaali style wedding under my insistence considering he was Half Malyali. His mother was more than pleased. My mom herself loved all the procedures and rituals in Kerala wedding, that I felt my fairy tale was perfectly having a perfect ending which led to perfect start of new life.
*-*-*-*
My saree was typical Malyali wedding saree that was white in color with huge golden border. My white blouse had puff golden sleeves. My mother had poured gold and diamond studded necklaces and long earrings that I felt my body wait had dubbled over.
As I was taken to wedding Mandap, I saw him already waiting for me with baited breath. I winked at him as I sat next to him. I took my own sweet time ravish his bare chest that had only a traditional white stole which had golden borders, the stole was placed around his neck so that its loose ends reached his stomach. As I continued to devour my almost husband, "Like what you see?" he whispered in my ears.
I bit my lips, "I am not sure.. that's why I trying to confirm.." I replied flirtatiously.
He was sure shocked at my retort, "Sarcasm is not good for a new bride. If I were you I wouldn't burst my husband's ego sweetheart. Because I am sure, he would make you pay."
I grasped at mock horror, but recovered instantly, "You mean, almost-husband?" I said eyeing the long yellow threaded mangalsutra. He smiled, "Almost husband" he acknowledged.
As the rituals continued I recalled few things that I badly wanted to ask him.
I nudged him.
"what?" he asked. He was a tad bit annoyed as he was concentrating on adding mixtures to holy-fire, the Pandith had warned him to add right propotions with right mantras. He was concentrating so much, that I had to suppress the urge to pull his cheeks.
"Tell me.." I asked him.
"tell you what?" he whispered back, this time they both received the glare from Pandith as Rahul was delaying his mantras. "Sushh will you? Lets get this marriage over with. And trust me I will do more than talking!" he whispered back. My jaws dropped down. I suppressed my shock and a deep blush crept up my face.
Pandith seemed busy making some Kalash, so I stole the moment again.I nudged rahul yet again.
"uff sahana. Can't you keep your hands off him haa?" came a sweet voice behind her. I recognized her instantly. It was Rahul's Ex-gf, I mean, it was his cousin. geetha"
All I could do was blush, while the two continued to comment on how beautiful I was looking. She even went a head giving Rahul a hi5 as he had finally landed me. He didn't mention the past few months of dating' we had gone through to her, all he said was he found me and he didn't waste anytime to tie a knot before I got lost again. I laughed.
"Atleast tell me now!" I demanded as we stood. I couldn't hold my curiousness any longer. We were said to take three rounds around the holy-fire. As we walked, I couldn't speak. He couldn't hear as the loud sounds of drums hit our ears. So much for wanting Kerala style wedding! Hmph!
We were back to our seats and pandith was asking Rahul to tie mangalsutra, by tying three knots of the ends of mangalsutra around my neck. My parents had already tied the end of my saree with rahul's stole before we took rounds around holy-fire.
Rahul finally tied the mangal sutra around my neck and Applied the kumkum on my forehead. I smiled as I realized I was finally married to him.
It was time for us to get up, go and change for our reception but I didn't budge. Rahul looked at me crossly. "Unless you tell me what it is, I wont go!" I said adamantly. My parents gave us curious look, Pandith was about to dip his head to the holy-fire.
"Oh god! I don't remember okay?" he said looking away.
I chuckled "Ha! I remember clearly your mortified face for what Amma had said, first day she saw me! I want to know what she said! Why aren't you telling me rahul?"
He bit his lips from groaning out loud. Just then his mother kissed both our cheeks and blessed us.
"Randu pereym orimichu nalla rasamunde kanaan..!" she said. And instantly my head snapped up! It was the samething amma had told me, the same sentence whose meaning I was trying to grill out from rahul.
Before she went back I grasped her hand, "Aunty what does that mean?" I asked her.
She grinned, "I will tell you only if you call me, Ma!"
I smiled sheepishly, "Ma..."
She kissed my forehead, "Mom don't!" rahul warned her with flushed face.
But his mother didn't give a damn to his warning, "It means, You both look very cute together, as in Made for each other!"
As his mother went back, the realization drowned upon me. Amma knew all about us. He had told her. She had recognized me the very first day. Amma was standing a bit far, completly engrossed wit treating the guests. she looked at me and gave huge smile and thumps. I grinned at her. When I glanced at Rahul he was smiling. He got up and held his hand forward for me to hold. I placed my hand on his and got up.
The smile in our faces clearly meant, we have found other, and lost our hearts to each other..
*-*-*-*
Some Malyalam words used in the story whose meaning I didn't give earlier
In chapter 7, Amma says this to Rahul after the movie : "Film valare nannaayirunnu, Abyum Sonayum viddikalaayirunnu avar nerathe ethu thammil paranjirunengl ee prashnangal onnum undaakilaayirunnu!!"
Means "The movie was damn good! Abhi and Sona were idiots, if they confessed way before all this trouble would have saved."
Rahul's reply : "Avarku avarude sauhridham marakaan kazhiyilla Amma.. adhokondaaanu thammil avarku onnum thuranu parayaan kazhiyaathathu"
Means "They didn't want to lose their friendship Amma, that's why its difficult to confess"
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