CHAPTER 2. THE TWO SELF PROCLAIMED BACHELORS!
"Another boring page 3 party!", a man quipped as he stood at the threshold of the room holding the said party and looked around.
"Another evening surrounded by boring people!", another man standing beside the first one retorted as he too stared at the crowd milling around.
"Phir se champagne peena padega! (Again we have to drink Champagne!)", the first man huffed.
"Phir se logon se haath milaake unki jhooti taarif karni padegi! (Again we have to shake hands and fake praising them!)", the other man complained.
"Phir se un sarphiri ladkiyon se milna padega jo Khurana Khaandaan ki waaris se shaadi karne ke sapne dekh rahi hai! (Again we have to meet those crazy girls who dream to marry the heirs of Khurana family!)", the first man groused.
"Aur un mummies se bhi milna hoga jo apni beti ko humaare gale baandna chaahti hai! (And we have to meet the mummies too who wish to tie their daughters to our necks!)", the second man pouted.
"Aur un buddhon se bhi milna padega jo beti dene ke bahaane humaare business se judna chaahte hain! (And we have to meet those old buffoons too who using the excuse of giving their daughters to us, which to be part of our business!)", the first man mused.
"Thank God! We are self proclaimed bachelors!", the second man exclaimed with glee on his face.
"And we shall remain that as long as we live!", the first man proclaimed with aplomb.
Both smirked at each other and proceeded to walk into the party. Heads turned and whispers followed as the two men entered the party. The crowd parted giving them space to walk as soon as they neared them; such was the status of the two men in the high class society. Wannabe socialite ladies and gold digger girls fluttered and swooned as they took in the ruggedly handsome man and his suave looking companion while the socialite mothers of spoilt brat girls pushed their daughters to the fore. Men tittered as they took in the first man's powerful looking three piece suit and the second man's semi casual jacket over jeans and shirt and wondered why they could not ooze of same charm and aura when dressed in similar clothes while girls just sighed dreamily and wondered how the two men could look so delectable in any kind of clothes. The only people ignoring the handsome duo were the waiters and waitresses. The reason they did not stop was because they knew that if they ever stopped their work to stare at anyone or anything they will be thrown out of their jobs because they could say their names. And hence, the servers continued to lurk around offering champagne, finger foods, juices and sweets while the partying guests continued to stare at the duo and wondered how to get their hands on them.
Suddenly, the host of the party swooped in to meet the dynamic duo, "Mr. Maan Khurana! And Mr. Dev Khurana!", the host greeted the men while shaking hands with the first man and then the second one.
"What a delight it is to have two of the most eligible bachelors of India in my party!", the man commented loudly.
Dev leaned over to Maan and whispered, "Yeh jyaada hi kuch maska nahi laga raha Bro? (Isn't he buttering us too much Bro?)"
Maan's lips twitched at his words but he remained stoic, "Aana toh tha Mr. Zaveri! Aap Daadima ke itne khaas dost jo hain! (I had to come Mr. Zaveri! You are such a close friend to our Daadima!)"
Dev smiled but whispered to Maan, "Translation! Hum agar nahi aate toh Daadima humaara khoon kar deti! (Translation! If we didn't come here, our Daadima would have killed us!)"
Maan snorted at Dev's words but covered it with cough while Mr. Zaveri questioned with confused smile, "Kya kahaa beta aapne? (Did you say something beta?)"
Dev gave him a wide smile, "Kuch nahi Uncle! Party bahut achchi hai! (Nothing Uncle! Party is good!)"
Dev looked around with smile all the while complaining in his mind, Khaakh achchi party hai! Sab toh aise ghoor rahe hain jaise ki hum koi zoo ke jaanwar hain! Wish I was in some disco! Atleast wahaan ki music se mera time pass toh ho jaata! (What good party! Everyone is staring at us as if we are some animals from zoo! Wish I was in some disco! Atleast the music would have helped pass the time!)
Soon the small talk ended and Mr. Zaveri left the two men to the sharks, err... I mean, the crowd. After talking to innumerable people, shaking hands with God knows how many men and kissing cheeks of too many girls and women, the Khurana brothers snuck to the liquor bar and sat on the seats in front of them nursing scotch in their hands.
"Phew! Baal baal bache! (Phew! Barely saved!)", Dev sighed after a while as he drank the scotch.
"Logon se ya champagne se? (From people or from champagne?)", Maan asked as the host called the server over and handed over a glass of champagne to another guest.
Dev looked over to where Maan was looking at, "Yeh Uncle champagne aise baant rahe hain jaise free chocolates ho! (This Uncle seems to distribute champagne as if they were free chocolates!)"
Both men looked at each other and chuckled.
Dev sobered up, "Bro! Why do every Page 3 party has to have servers distributing champagnes?"
Again the men broke up chuckling.
"Atleast yahaan hot ladkiyaan toh hai! (Atleast the girls are hot!)", Dev muttered as he chugged the glass of scotch and ordered another one.
Maan raised an eyebrow and muttered while looking around, "Hot? Yeh ladkiyaan? Chehre pe itna make up paint kiya hai ki without make up koi dekhega toh they will run away screaming in fear! (Hot? These girls? They have painted so much make up on their faces, if someone saw them without it, then they will run away screaming in fear!)"
Dev choked on his drink at his words and looked at his brother with amusement.
Maan continued, "And the clothes are so less that I wonder why they are even wearing it! And lets just not talk about their stick like figures which makes me wonder when was the last time they actually ate!"
Dev had started laughing by then.
Maan just shrugged at his reaction and drank the scotch in one gulp.
After taking deep breaths, Dev ventured out, "I am not talking about those girls!"
Maan frowned in confusion and Dev continued, "I am talking about these waitresses! Those long long legs in that black colored stockings! Uff! Hot!"
Dev sighed dreamily and Maan rolled his eyes, "Careful! Agar kisine sun liya toh Daadima jald hi tumhaari shaadi karwa degi! (If someone heard you, Daadima would get you married right away!)"
Dev looked at Maan with wide eyes and Maan smirked at him.
After drinking another glass, Dev wondered, "By the way, if the marriage is with these waitresses then I don't think I mind getting married!"
Maan looked at him with confusion, "Kya? Paagal hogaye ho kya? Do din ki chandni aur zindagi bhar ki kaali raat! (What? Gone mad or what? Its two nights of full moon and then it is new moon night for rest of the life!)"
Dev looked at Maan as if someone had replaced his brother with an alien, "What? You are saying that? You? You are the one who keeps on saying, Bro, that you shouldn't look at the Status of the person but their heart!"
Maan nodded, "Yes! But that does not mean you marry the first girl who comes your way! I mean are you forgetting that we are Khuranas? We meet with foreign dignitaries; go on foreign tours for our work! And the atmosphere these waitresses are born and brought up in, they won't be able to fit in."
"Fit in?", Dev questioned and Maan spoke up with utmost seriousness, "Dev they are middle class. Do you really think they are working here because they love to be waitresses? Some of them need money urgently to solve their family problems and some of them get rejected in normal job for some flaw which is not even their fault. Agar in jaisi ladkiyon ko tum parties mein apne, yaani ki Khurana Heir Dev Khurana ke saath le aaye toh yeh so called high society waali ladkiyaan, auratein aur un ladkiyon ki amma use kachcha chaba jaayengi! Tum aisi ladki se pyaar kar toh loge lekin uss rishte ko nibhaana aasaan nahi hoga! Use tum jis duniya mein laane ki soch rahe ho na Dev, wahaan use adjust karna bahut mushkil hoga! (If you, I mean Khurana Heir Dev Khurana, brought such girls to these parties, then these so called high society girls, ladies and ladies' mothers will eat them alive! You might be able to fall in love with such girls, but you won't be able to maintain the relationship! The world in which you wish to bring them, Dev, they will have tough time adjusting to it!) Everywhere there will be barbs laced with sweet words and taunts coated in compliments. One day she might even resent you for bringing her into your world!"
Dev blinked twice and then shook his head, "You are so cynical and jaded bro! No wonder you are unmarried!"
"Ha! My unmarried status has nothing to do with my thinking! And I am not being cynical or jaded as you seem to claim! Jo sach hai wahi bata raha hoon. (I am telling you the truth!)", Maan retorted.
"Sach? Ya right!", Dev mumbled as he drank another glass of scotch.
"You don't believe me?", Maan raised an eyebrow.
Dev shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"Fine!" Maan slammed the glass down from which he was drinking and looked around. After looking around for few minutes he spotted a waitress and pointed her to Dev, "Look at that girl! Wonder what would happen if you married her!"
Dev looked into the girl's direction. The girl was standing with another girl just a few feet away. If Dev concentrated he could actually hear their conversation. Both were waitresses. The first one was facing them while the second one was facing the first one with her back towards them. Dev and Maan could see the first girl's full profile clearly and Maan continued.
"If that girl married an elite like us, then what will happen?", Maan questioned.
Dev shrugged, "Kya hoga?"
Maan rolled his eyes. His brother was so dense sometimes. He took a sip from his glass which the bartender kept on refilling at intervals, "Dev! Stop being an idiot and observe! Look how chubby the girl is! Do you think she will survive the cruel words of these so called socialites? And of course let's not ignore our media who would love to point out her flaws to anyone and everyone who read their newspapers. Their words will destroy any self confidence she has and slowly destroy her spirit too."
Dev looked at the girl again and noted her chubbiness and her longing look towards the tray of fingerfoods in her hand. Dev nodded, "You might be right, bro?"
Maan raised an eyebrow, "Might be? Excuse me! Main Maan Singh Khurana hoon! I am always right!"
Dev rolled his eyes at his brother's arrogance and gulped down another glass of scotch. As usual the bartender was there right away to fill it up.
As both brothers stopped talking for a while, Maan continued to look around. His eyes went back to the two waitresses. It seemed that both girls had been given some sort of break as the first girl was giggling and laughing. Both were standing in a corner away from the eyes of the guests and the only reason Maan could spot them at first was because they were hidden from the main hall but not from where the liquor bar was.
Suddenly, the second girl turned and Maan saw her face for the first time. The girl was laughing and her whole face was alight due to her laughter. Maan frowned as he wondered what a beautiful girl like her was doing here. He wondered whether it was money problems that brought her to the world of waitressing. But even if money got her into this world, why had no model agency snapped her up for modeling. He checked the girl out with his eyes. She obviously had a good figure, fair face and beautiful smile. A girl like her is supposed to be doing modeling assignments or working as a receptionist. What was she doing here?
That is when the girl opened her mouth and spewed out expletives with a loud voice, "Kutta! Kamina! Marjaaniya! Phir se haath pakadne ki koshish ki usne! Chodungi nahi main use! Baahar mila toh jutti se uska swaagat karungi! (He again tried to grab my hand! I won't leave him! If I met him out, I will welcome him with sandals!) I... I... I will maar him and peet him." Her friend blinked at her weird use of English while she let out few more expletives and Maan winced. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He got his answer. Aise gaaliyaan degi aur aisi English bakegi toh no wonder she is working as a waitress! He turned back to his scotch.
Dev spoke up bringing Maan out of his thoughts, "You seem to know everything don't you? You seem to know these girls inside out. You seem to know what makes them a socialite! Now next you will tell me that you can change a middle class girl into a socialite by teaching her few tricks!"
Maan let out a laugh making a gaggle of girls standing across the room staring at him swoon at his visage. Loosened up a little by the alcohol in his system, Maan smirked at Dev, "Of course I can! I am Maan Singh Khurana! I can do anything! Change a normal girl into a Page 3 socialite! Or take a socialite and change her into a waitress!"
Dev raised an eyebrow, "Ya right bro!", Dev gave him a skeptical look and Maan narrowed his eyes, "You don't believe me?" Dev shrugged showing indifference and Maan's face took a look of determination, "Alright! Theek hai! Main abhi tumhein proof dikhaata hoon! (I will show you the proof right away!)"
Maan looked around and noticed the waitress with loud voice and Punjabi accent serving champagne around. It seemed her break was over. He signaled her to come over. She gave them a polite smile and muttered cheerily, "Champagne?" Maan raised an eyebrow at her pronunciation. She pronounced the word champagne as shumpaayin' instead of pronouncing it as sham-pain'.
Maan smirked as he looked at Dev, "Dev! Is ladki ko dekho!" Dev turned to look at her and Maan looked at the girl too. The girl, self conscious at their glance, adjusted her clothes and looked at them uncomfortably.
Maan continued, "Dikhne mein achchi bhali hai! Shakal bhi theek thaak hai! (She is healthy looking! Her face is also good looking!) Then why is she still working as waitress when she could have been snapped up as a model or receptionist or another better paying job where she isn't being pawed by rich old idiots?" Dev shrugged while the girl looked at Maan incredulously. Maan replied his own question, "Kyunki jab yeh ladki mooh kholti hai apne hi pair pe khuraadi maarti hai! (Because the moment she opens her mouth, she ruins everything!)" Dev blinked at Maan's words while the girl looked at Maan with indignation.
Maan was on roll now, "Champagne ko shumpaayin bolti hai! Gaali aise deti hai jaise bazaar mein free chocolate baant rahi ho! Aur iski English itni khatarnaak ... (She calls champagne, shumpaayin! She lets out expletives as if they are free chocolates! And her English is so horrible...)" he turned to the girl exasperated, "I mean I will maar him and peet him', what kind of atrocity was that? Oh right! You don't even know what atrocity means!", he turned back to Dev while the girl's jaw dropped open and her eyes got wide.
Dev chuckled and Maan continued, "And lets just not talk about her Punjabi accent!"
It seemed the girl had enough of his lecture as she poked him in his arm with her finger, "Oye Mister!"
Maan cringed as he whirled around to look at her, "And God! That awful loud voice of yours! Tum baaki ladkiyon ki tarah low volume mein baat nahi kar sakti! Ladki ho ya loudspeaker? (Can't you speak in low volume like other girls? Are you a girl or a loudspeaker?)" The girl looked at him in horror while Maan turned around towards an amused Dev, "Now I can change this girl easily into a socialite or a model on the ramp or a sophisticated secretary to top CEO. Hell! I can even change her to such an extent that these socialites will believe me blindly when I say she is a princess of some made up Rajasthani city!"
"Sachchi? (Really?)", the girl interrupted and Maan turned to look at her, "Oh shut up! Tumhaara kaam hogaya! Ab tum jaao yahaan se! (Your work is done! Now get lost!)" He whirled back to a chuckling Dev while the girl stood there in stupor, "All she needs is a bit of accent training, English coaching and some eating manners and instructions on how to behave in such parties! That's all! She can have any job she wants!"
"Koi bhi job? (Any job?)", the girl asked incredulously and Maan looked at her with annoyance, "You are still standing here? Don't you have any shumpaayins' to serve?" Maan whirled back to Dev while the girl pouted at his words and made a face as she stood there with tray filled with glasses of champagne in her hand.
Dev was laughing at the madness happening in front of him but sobered up as Maan's turned around, "Come on bhai! You have proved your point. Now lets go home! We have a meeting early morning!"
Maan hummed his agreement, downed the last glass of scotch, hopped of the stool and walked off with his brother. As he walked by the girl, he heard her muttering, "Hey Babaji! Kya aisa bhi ho sakta hai? Kya sahi training se mujhe bhi apne sapno ka job mil sakta hai? (Hey Babaji! Can this happen? Can I get the job of my dreams with right training?)" Maan stood still at her words and turned around to look at the girl and was amused to see her looking at the ceiling. He chuckled and shook his head as he turned and walked away. Weird girl! What is that word in Punjabi we use for such girls? Ah yes! Jhalli! This girl is a jhalli! Ek dum jhalli! Maan had a smile on his face as he walked off to bid the hosts good bye and go home.
PRECAP: Maan and Geet formally meet!
Did anyone guess who the waitress was? Wink wink!
Thanks, take care and have fun,
Kalpana
Edited by Kalpana_KaCy - 9 years ago
You know just few months back I went to a function and foolishly chose a salwar kameez which makes me look younger and one aunty asked me are you in 9th or 10th?😆 So you assuming me as college kid is nothing new for me!😉
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