#2 Ashlok FF - You've Won My Heart! (Chapter 19 on 96) - Page 30

Chapter 13

After checking in to a hotel, they called Agnihotris to inform them about their arrival. NA had already made reservations for them in a 5-star hotel. Even though Astha had insisted for a less expensive hotel, he had refused to listen to her. This was one aspect of being a part of Agnihotri family that she had to get used to. Even though her parents were well-off, they never spent money as lavishly as Agnihotris. It was her second nature now to spend money considerately.

With beautiful architecture and expanse of finely manicured lawns which spread over several acres, it gave an impression of some erotic resort. The rooms were spacious, well maintained and luxuriously furnished, with a king-sized double bed, recliner chair, mini-refrigerator and television set. On one end of the room was a large window from where a wide expanse of nature's water could be spotted a short distance away.

While on her way to Goa she never anticipated that she will have to compromise with her self-imposed principles. But soon after they were settled into their allotted rooms, it started to dawn on her that the boundaries she created between them to keep her 'better half' at a safe distance will have to be eliminated. She knew it was inevitable since they were checked in as Mr. and Mrs. Agnihotri by her father-in-law.

Just then Shlok's phone rang. He looked at the caller's name flashing on the screen and instantly glanced towards Astha. His expressions changed in a matter of seconds. Looking anxious and hesitant, he attended the call.

"Hello...oh hi...yeah I'm good...actually I'm in Goa...no, nothing like that, it was regarding some work...yeah...hmm...ok listen I will call you later...yeah ok...bye", he disconnected the call looking relieved. Astha who was watching him closely, asked somewhat curiously. "Who was it?"

"Oh no one special. Just a colleague of mine." With that, he opened his handbag hastily, took out his night suit and headed towards the washroom. She found his behaviour very suspicious, which left her wondering if he was lying. But she soon dismissed the thought.

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She watched Shlok easing himself into the bed without acknowledging her presence. She stood at the foot of the bed for some time fumbling around with her bag in the state of predicament. Then after taking out another quilt from the cupboard, she headed towards the recliner. While settling herself in it with her legs outstretched on a foot tool, she noticed Shlok looking her way.

"What? You didn't possibly think I would forget our pact, did u?"

She had decided to play along if he was adamant on acting ignorant. She refused to be the first one to break her silence.

But she soon found herself in uncomfortable slumber. The sleep refused to pull her in its depths. After tossing and turning on that plush sofa-like chair for over an hour, she sat up. She looked at the wall clock which was striking 11:15. Looking over at the bed, she spotted her so-called husband in a peaceful slumber completely oblivious to her and the rest of the world. She felt a surge of anger rise inside her seeing the serene look on his face. After realising she wouldn't be able to sleep at this moment she took out her shawl out of the bag and headed for the door.

Shlok, who was simply pretending to have fallen asleep, opened his eyes when he felt her moving about and sat up as she closed the door behind her. Like Astha, he too was unable to sleep but because of his guilty conscious for occupying the bed. As much as he hated to cause her discomfort he thought she will overlook their agreement since there was no proper place to sleep here besides bed. After all they can share the bed without sharing any intimate relationship, can't they? However, he didn't foresee her sleeping on the recliner, that too without any protest. That girl was sure full of surprises, Shlok thought, bewildered.

He got out of bed and followed her out of the room. Their room was on third floor. He took the lifts and went to the main reception. He had a vague idea where she would be. And sure enough he did find her; a short distance away from the main entrance near the magnificent fountain which was apparently built to enhance its architectural beauty. At this time of night it was completely secluded. She was sitting with her legs up on its marble steps. However instead of looking at the splendid view of the rhythmic splashing waters, her eyes were affixed at the starry skies where an almost full moon was shimmering its silvery light over the grassy lawns, bathing everything underneath it in gentle glow.

He silently approached her. The angle she was sitting at allowed him to see some part of her face. When he was only a few feet away from her, he heard a quiet hum. He realised it was her humming a song. Unintentionally and unconsciously he stopped in his tracks as if his feet had their mind of its own. She was looking like a figure of beauty, a lone angel, sitting under the moonlight. For countless minutes he was lost in her stunning beauty. It was only when her gentle feathery voice broke the tranquillity of the night and reached his ears that he was startled out of his reverie.

There's so much life I've left to live

And this fire is burning still

He realised she was doing more than humming; she was singing the song. But still her voice was so low even in this hushed night that he had a hard time hearing it. Again unintentionally he moved a few feet closer to her. For unknown reason, a desire to hear her sing awoke in him.

When I watch you look at me

I think I could find the will

Now he was standing right behind her. She was completely engrossed in her singing or else he was sure she would have felt his presence.

To stand for every dream

And forsake this solid ground

And give up this fear within

Of what would happen if they ever knew

I'm in love with you

Her voice is beautiful, he thought, surprised at how he failed to realise this before. He couldn't see her face but he badly wanted to. He didn't move from the fear of disturbing her. Even though at that very moment he wanted to listen to her sing more than anything, some part of him wished he was sitting directly in front of her at this very moment, taking in every movement of her lips and every emotion playing on her face and within her deep hazel eyes.

'Cause I'd surrender everything

To feel the chance to live again

I reach to you

I know you can feel it too

We'd make it through

A thousand dreams I still believe

I'd make them give them all to me

I'd hold you in my arms and never let go

I surrender

Her soulful, melodious voice was mesmerising his senses. He was in an entrance-like state. He couldn't see her face but still he could tell that a storm of emotions were brewing underneath her voice. She was feeling the emotions behind the song from the depth of her heart. And what was it in her voice? Pain? Grief? Helplessness? For a second he thought he was mistaken but as she continued, to his immense surprise, he was assured he wasn't. What could have made her feel so?

Out of the blue, a forgotten memory flashed in his mind.

"I was left heart-broken. I always thought that you too, like me, accepted the decision that was taken by our parents, whole-heartedly. But now I realise just how wrong I was. I always considered you my best friend but I guess you never even considered me your friend.."

I know I can't survive

Another night away from you

You're the reason I go on

And now I need to live the truth

Right now, there's no better time

From this fear I will break free

And I'll live again with love

And no they can't take that away from me

And they will see...

Her voice was heavy with emotions. Her head was still tilted towards the heavens above. He wanted to reach out to her. For the first time the desire to hold her in his arms arose in him. He wanted to take away all her pain, miseries and sorrows.

Err wait, what? Where did this thought come from? Why the heck would he want to do such a thing...that too for Astha? Unable to comprehend his mental and emotional state, he shook his head. This song is just too depressing, that's all, he decided. Why would she sing such a song anyway?

I'd surrender everything

To feel the chance to live again

I reach to you

I know you can feel it too

We'd make it through

A thousand dreams I still believe

I'd make them give them all to me

I'd hold you in my arms and never let go

I surrender

She finished with an audible sigh. He felt her voice break near the end. She was sitting with her arms around her knees. He walked forward. The desire to catch a glimpse of her face was too overwhelming now. He realised it was easier to move now that she had ceased casting spells into the electrifying night. She was sitting with her eyes closed, her face still tilted towards the sky. As he came to stand in front of her, she opened her eyes and got startled to see him right in front of her. Her eyes were shining with unflowed tears . He could sense an unknown anguish and restlessness in her eyes. He felt they were trying to reveal the innermost secrets of her heart to him. He stared into her eyes, trying to decipher those untold mysteries.

It struck Astha that she was shaking, not out of coldness but because from the force of repressing her emotions which were quickly overwhelming her senses, and his intense gaze wasn't helping either. Many seconds (or were they minutes?) silently passed between them.

Shlok came forward to sit down next to her. She looked the other way. In order to lessen the solemnity of the atmosphere, he asked chuckling, "Are all girls as sensitive as you or are you a special case?" He lightly bumped his shoulder with hers, smiling.

She simply glanced at him, her demeanour still sombre and melancholic.

"You know one thing I don't get. Why are all girls into sad songs and movies? I mean they cry over it but still wouldn't refrain. Why suffer yourself?"

She smiled gloomily. "Well it's like hot tea on a hot day. There's just something about sad music that is so soothing and comforting to our soul. Besides, pain and grief is as much a part of our lives as is the happiness and joy." Then looking up at the sky she whispered so faintly he thought she was talking to herself. "Avoiding these mere insignificant sources of entertainment wouldn't eliminate the sorrows and increasingly growing despondency from my life. It's my fate and I will have to learn to live with it now."

He looked at her curiously. What would cause her so much depression? Was he the cause of it? Somewhere deep down he knew the answer to the question he was seeking was positive.

"What are you hurting about?"

She didn't turn to look at him this time. Another round of silence. They were sitting very close to each other, their legs almost touching. After several prolonged seconds she responded, "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Smiling she turned to look at him who was watching her very intently. Her expression was thoughtful.

"Can you imagine the pain of having to lose someone who you have been taking for granted your whole life, that she was with you all these years but you never appreciated her or acknowledged her true worth and that by the time you realise this ever crucial fact it is too late?"

He was taken aback. He understood very well who she was hinting towards. Strangely, a smile passed through his lips. He was both amused and puzzled by her question.

"You can never imagine the pain until you go through similar experience." Shlok countered.

"Exactly my point" Astha smiled somewhat bitterly.

"But you can?" Shlok scrutinised her face. She simply shrugged, now looking straight ahead into the darkest spot of the lawn.

After a long silence he called out. "Astha!"

There was something in his voice...something peculiar. She turned to face him. He was stunned to see a lone tear finally breaking the barrier and escaping from the corner of her eye. Acting on his impulse he extended his hand to wipe away her tear. He saw her eyes closing at his touch.

He had always known her as a strong headed girl. She fought with him, stood up to him, answered him with a tit-for-tat. Now it struck him that he would rather have her fight and argue with him all his life than having to see her so weak and vulnerable. He hated the sight of her in distress. For the second time that night he was reminded of the argument on their wedding night. Taking her hands in his, he said in a quiet gentle voice with the utmost sincerity. "I am really sorry Astha."

Astha heard him over the fountain splashes. The night air suddenly felt charged. The echo of his words drifted off into the night. If not for the apologetic look in his eyes, she would have thought she misheard him. She looked at him in disbelief.

"I'm sorry for hurting you time and again. I know I haven't been fair with you...haven't been treating you the way you deserve to be treated. You were right, I was somewhat selfish. I made this marriage an issue of my ego and pride." he paused briefly, then continued again, looking at his feet, "I had always known about our engagement. I knew its significance but still I chose to take it lightly. I don't believe in childhood engagements...still don't. Thought we would be able to marry people of our choice when we will get older. It was stupid of me to think so." He said shaking his head.

"The truth is I was too dense to consider the implications of my refusal. I forgot lots of people were associated with me and my refusal would not only hurt them but would have an impact on their life too...like yours." he glanced towards her who was sitting beside him motionless, still watching him closely.

"Have you honestly been thinking I don't care about you or don't consider you my friend?" he sounded bemused.

She simply nodded. She wanted to say something...wanted to remind him of his behaviour before and after marriage which forced her to think so, but she couldn't bring herself to speak.

"I know I haven't been acting like a great friend lately. But spending these past few weeks with you made me remind the bond we have always shared, something which I had forgotten somewhere over the years. But the fact remains that I can not imagine losing you as a friend. We have a long history and I value you and your friendship too much to give up on it. You hold a very special place in my life, don't you realise that?"

Feeling completely stunned, Astha forced her gaze away from his face. She found herself unable to think straight. Several minutes passed...she realised he was waiting for her to respond. Still struggling to speak, she voiced the single thought that was constantly nagging her.

"What about Swati?" As she said her name she felt him shift beside her. Just then she felt a sheath of darkness veiling her eyes almost blinding her for few moments.

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Sorry guys for the delay in updating this chapter

Waiting for your precious comments and feedback 😃