Silent Whispers
-CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE-
Pacifying the Uncertain
Khushi watched Jaya hum to herself, powering through her evening
chores as if they were a piece of cake. It was a welcome sight after spending
the whole day in her room, mulling over the unexpected happenings of the previous
night.
"Should I heat up dinner Madamji?" Jaya asked.
Khushi stared at the maid, who, over the years, had come to
mean nothing less than a younger sister. She was her next source of support
every time her brother was away, and she was yet to let her down.
"I will wait for Bhaiyya," Khushi said. "Isn't he coming
home today?"
"Yes, but he called a few hours ago and said not to wait for
him. He will be very late."
Khushi groaned. She looked forward to seeing Shyam, who was absent
for the past week, working on a special case in Mumbai. He was the only one who
knew how to rest her uneasy mind, though of course, she was in no position to tell him the reason for her turmoil in
the first place.
She kissed Arnav.
No matter how many times she repeated that in her head, it
still didn't sit right. Why couldn't she resist the urge to give in to her
selfish desires? She was never a woman of impulse or for that matter, insanity.
Where did she fall short?
Khushi knew there was no answer to that. At least that's
what she believed. She didn't think she would be able to handle the storm that
would come if the reason behind her actions yesterday was not just a spur of
the moment decision, but something more
"Madamji?" Jaya called, gently tapping her shoulder. "Should
I warm up the food?"
"Huh? No... that's fine. I will eat later. You go on with your
work."
Jaya nodded and proceeded to the small mandir in their house. Not wanting to be left alone, Khushi quietly
followed her.
However, when she entered the small prayer room, adjacent to
the hall, she was intrigued by the idol that stood in the center. Magnificent
in size, it was of the goddess Durga,
who she always assumed was a manifestation of blind belief in traditions; she
wasn't sure if she still did.
"Do you pray everyday Jaya?" she asked, suddenly curious. If
everyone in the world believed in prayers, surely, there had to be some truth to it.
The maid smiled. "Yes, Madamji. My mother says we should
never keep the prayer room in the dark. A lamp should always be lit."
Khushi vaguely remembered hearing the same, though she
didn't know why. "And if we don't light a lamp?"
"My mother says it's not good for the house. But I don't
think so Madamji... Devi Maiyya is very nice, she wouldn't let anything bad
happen to us."
"You really think she will do that?"
Jaya paused. "It's all about faith Madamji. If you think she
will protect you, then she will."
"So, you really do have faith?"
"Of course! If I don't, I wouldn't pray for Maaji everyday."
Khushi didn't reply. She knew the solution to her mother's health
wasn't as simple as praying a statue, she was much too educated for that.
However, she also knew that there were no other options. After all, what else
could she do other than wait for the doctors to finish the treatment and hope
it was for the best?
The shrill ring of her cell phone suddenly interrupted them.
Khushi paled upon seeing the caller-id; it was Arnav. Distancing herself from
Jaya, she cautiously picked up the call.
"Hello?"
"It's me."
"Yeah... I know."
An awkward silence settled between the two, as Khushi began
to recollect the questions she almost forgot to address: What was Arnav
thinking? Was he upset with her? Did he misjudge her for initiating the whole
thing?
"So... umm... are you busy?" he finally asked, clearing his
throat.
"Ermm... no... I can talk."
Khushi silently thanked her stars that she wasn't working
today. It was bad enough that they couldn't have a conversation on the phone,
forget face to face.
Arnav took a deep breath. "Great. So, I was thinking... what
happened last night... was not ideal. But at the same time, we can't pretend it
didn't happen."
"Yeah, we can't."
He didn't answer. As another uncomfortable pause spread
between the two, Khushi abruptly decided to end the matter once and for all. It
was her fault after all. However, he
spoke at the same time:
"I'm sorry," they said together.
Surprised, Khushi waited for a second, before saying, "I'm
sorry that I k-kissed you-"
"-and I'm sorry that I let you-"
"-it was a mistake-"
"-a big one. I wasn't in the right frame of mind-"
"-yeah, I had a bad day too-"
"-so, let's just forget this happened? It was a mistake and
we both regret it deeply."
Khushi fell quiet. It pinched her to hear him so easily
dismiss their kiss, as if it didn't bother him, as if it meant nothing. Was she
really that bad of a person, that he wouldn't consider her as a girlfriend for
even a second?!
Or maybe he knows it's
wrong...
The thought unexpectedly struck Khushi, who for the first
time that day dared to ponder the consequences of her actions. It didn't matter
that the kiss had felt good (so good that that she couldn't even regret it), because
it was wrong. She was committed to Akash
and there was nothing in the world that would make her hurt him.
"Khushi?"
She bit her lip, guilt pooling in her stomach. "Yeah... we
regret it."
"Phew! That's a relief," he said, though his voice seemed to
lack it's usual cheek. "So, are you busy tonight?"
"That depends on what you want me to do."
"Well, there is a corporate party tonight, and I want you to
come with me."
Khushi stopped short. "What?"
"There is a party tonight," he repeated, deliberately
accentuating every word. "And I want you to come with me."
It was an impossible choice. Did he really expect her to come, given everything that happened? She may
be impulsive, but she sure wasn't suicidal. "Maybe some other time... I have
stuff to do."
"This is a prestigious party Khushi," he said seriously. "I
would never ask if I didn't think it would be a learning experience for you.
Most of Delhi's elite society will be there... you can start networking."
"Yeah, but I don't think it's a good time-"
Arnav paused, before he lowered his voice and said, "I was
going to ask you to come even before last night... I just never got around to
telling you."
Khushi bit her lip. She had no excuses left and frankly
speaking, she was glad for that. "Fine."
He was back to his usual commanding self. "Good. I will pick
you up at seven. Oh, and by the way, please don't show up in a suit."
A line appeared
on her forehead. "What's wrong with a suit?"
"Nothing, other
than that it oozes formality and is a tad bit masculine."
"Let me just
say-"
"No, don't say
anything. I guarantee you, this is going be in tomorrow's newspaper. You don't want to be the odd out. So be a
little more feminine than usual and wear a dress... Kind of like the makeover
you managed yesterday."
Khushi
grumbled.
"Oh and make
sure the dress is presentable and not
- for a lack of a better word - risque."
She gasped in
outrage. "I don't wear s**tty
clothes!!"
"Remember that
dress you wore when that idiotic man drugged you? Yeah, that is considered,
quote on quote, "s**tty" where we are going."
"If you have so
many inhibitions about what I wear, then why even take me to this goddamn
party?"
"It's not you I
have inhibitions about, it's the clothes you wear. So quit whining and get
ready. I'm picking you up in an hour and I really
don't like waiting."
* * *
Anjali stared at her reflection, admiring how perfectly the
red-colored chiffon saree draped her
frame. It was a gift from Arnav, who had jokingly told her to wear it if she
ever wanted to flatter someone. Of course at that time, she waved him off with
a laugh, but today, it was a whole other matter.
Today was the day Shyam was returning from his trip to
Mumbai, after a long, treacherous week. Anjali had never felt the time pass so
slowly before. A week without him was a week without air. The reason? Everyone
knew.
She loved him.
Anjali didn't know when or how it happened, though she
certainly knew why. The glint in his eyes, the strength in his arms, the warmth
in his aura... they were all very hard to resist. She felt out of the world every
time he so much as glanced at her. Though of course, the uncertainty lingered
close by in the shadows.
Did he feel the same? Was she misunderstanding his silence?
Were they really just good friends?
Anjali had no idea.
Growing up with two brothers, she rarely found time to
invest in things that strictly fell in genre of woman. Her childhood was mostly
keeping up with her brothers and their overly active (and sometimes naughty)
nature. And perhaps, that was why she wasn't a die-hard romantic. She had
barely watched any of the ionic love stories to have any indication about how
to proceed or what to expect from her own love life.
Brushing out her waist length hair, Anjali picked up her
purse and walked out of her room. She was on her way to the Gupta Lawfirm, hoping to find Shyam,
exhausted from his trip, but still pulling up a new case to solve. For some odd
reason, she felt as if it was the place to be tonight.
By the time she pulled up at the firm and entered the empty
building, however, she couldn't help but be disappointed. The second floor was
darkened and held no sign anywhere of a human presence. Deciding that Shyam had
indeed gone home from the airport, she turned to leave, when a flicker of light
caught her attention. It was coming from the office she finished renovating
just that morning.
Curious, Anjali walked inside and was instantly
stunned. The office was glowing with
countless candles, spread out in every nook and corner of the room. A quiet
song was playing in the background, while a sweet fragrance overtook her
senses. It was as if she stepped into another world all together.
"I hope you like it," said a small voice in her ear.
She jumped, though knew exactly who it was. She had thought of
no one but him that day.
"I wish I had more time," Shyam continued with a warm smile,
when she turned around to face him. "It would have been a-"
"It's beautiful."
Shyam broke off, surprised to hear her compliment. "But not
more than you."
Anjali blushed. Her brother's advice, it seemed, was indeed
true. "Thank you. B-but when did you come back? And why do all this?"
"I took the early flight back. The hearing finished sooner
than I expected," he explained. Catching her look, he added "Don't worry - Mrs.
Rao won, just like I said she would."
She nodded, glad to hear the good news.
"As to why I did
all this... then, I just felt like it. Rosie told me you finished the renovations
this morning, which technically means that this is our last night as
associates. I figured this would be a nice way to thank you, especially after
all the work you put into this."
Anjali's heart fell. True she wasn't really expecting him to burst
out into a proposal, but at the same time, it hurt her deeply to hear him so
casually wave off their friendship. Did the last three months mean nothing to
him? Was she really just an associate for him?
"Anjali?" he called, confused with her blank expression. "Is
something wrong?"
She shook her head, her shoulders falling in defeat. "No,
everything is fine. Thank you for the surprise, but I can't stay for long," she
lied, looking at the floor. She didn't think she would be able to survive
dinner, knowing exactly what was going to happen at the end of it - she was
going to go and he wasn't going to stop her.
"Please?" Shyam said, an innocent expression crossing his
eyes. "I brought dinner."
Anjali didn't reply.
"I even brought rasgulla," he said. "They are your favorite,
right?"
She was surprised. "You remembered?"
"How can I forget? Rasgulla for you and chole bature for
me."
Anjali couldn't refuse, not when he worked so hard to make
her happy. So, ignoring pleas of reason from her mind, she followed Shyam to
the other end of the room, which was dominated by a wall-sized window. Beside
it were a few cushions, surrounding a lone candle and a couple of food parcels.
It was romantic to say the least.
"By the office looks beautiful," Shyam said, as they settled
on the cushions. "I really was surprised."
"That was the plan, right?"
He grinned. "It sure was. So, do you have any other projects
lined up?"
"Kind of... I got an interior-decorating project for a
farmhouse on the outskirts of the city. So, I will be busy with that for the
next few days."
"Does that mean you won't be visiting me anytime soon?"
Anjali stared at him. "Do you want me to visit you?"
"Is that a trick question?"
"No."
Shyam didn't answer, instead choosing to eat his dinner in
silence. Anjali waited for him to speak, but he never did. By the time they
were done, her patience was almost gone.
"I should go," she told him, standing up.
"What's the hurry? Stay for a few minutes."
"No-"
"Please?"
She surveyed him closely before saying heatedly, "What do
you want Shyam? Why are you hell bent on making me stay here when... when our
time is up?"
He shrugged, as if expecting her questions. "Is it? Is our
time up?"
"I don't know! Why are you asking me that? You are the one
who keeps reminding me that this is last time we are ever going to see each
other!"
"But that's the thing Anjali... I don't want this to be the last time we see each other. In fact, I never want
there to even be a last time we can
meet."
Anjali, who was expecting something else entirely and even
had a retort ready for it, stopped short. "What?"
Shyam grinned. "It turns out I didn't need Google to help me find flowers for you today," he told
her, pulling out a bouquet of bright red roses from behind a nearby sofa.
Anjali couldn't believe her eyes. She stared, stumped, as he
covered the small distance between them both and came to a stop in front of
her.
"You have no idea what you mean to me Anjali... I love you
doesn't cover it; in fact there are no words that can explain what I feel for
you. I just know that it is supposed to be this way. We are supposed to be together, because all I
could think about the last few days was how much I missed you. I never ever
want to feel that way again."
She was awe-struck. It was the same perfect ending she imagined
the whole day, only much, much better. She felt silly for worrying about his
feelings. Like he said, it was supposed to be this way; they were supposed to be together.
"So," Shyam said, going down on his left knee and holding up
the bouquet. "Will you, Miss Anjali Singh Raizada, spend whatever little time
you have left on this planet with me? Little, because even a hundred years with
you won't be enough, but if I learned anything in my life, it is to make the
best of what we get. And that's what I promise you today - I will always try my
best to keep you happy, no matter where we are."
A dazzling smile spread up Anjali's face. She had no words
that could match his, so
she quietly stretched out her hand and accepted the bouquet.
Elated, Shyam stood up and pulled her into a hug.
"I didn't think you were ever
going to say it," Anjali murmured, pressing her face into the hollow of his
neck.
"But you still came tonight... even though there was a good
chance I went home from the airport."
"I thought you'd be here."
"Just like I knew you'd come."
"Then what was the need to be all dramatic? You could have
said it as soon as I walked in!"
"You could have said it too... I was just waiting to see if
you missed me at all."
Anjali stepped back, looking up into his dark eyes. "There are
no words to explain how miserable I was all week. Even Bhai was worried. So,
next time, don't you dare go anywhere
without me!"
He pulled her in, closing the little space she put in
between them. "You don't even have to say it."
Seeing her grin in response, Shyam then leaned forward and
captured her lips with his, sealing all their unsaid promises in their first
ever kiss.
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