Arshi FF :: His Journey Towards Euphoria#3 - Link to thread 4 on PG 1 - Page 46

Part 27

It was the same fear!

It crawled back again. The room seemed dark... frightening... daunting.Something was pulling him. Pulling him in a dark abyss he had ventured before. A chill ran up his bones. Nothing he heard, all the senses had stopped. The knees buckled but he didn't registered falling. A sharp pain shot from his head, making him blind for a minute. The very familiar feeling of anxiety coursed through his every nerves. His throat went dry leaving him gasping for some air. He don't want to walk the path he had wandered few months ago. That path is frightening, painful, isolated, where no one can reach him. It's scary there, creepy demons wanting to abolish him, abolish his actuality. He don't want that feeling again...he don't want that.

He needed the hand that had, slowly, but still had pulled him from that frightening abyss. He needed that warmth, his palms fisted and unfisted, searching for the same warmth. He needs to hear that voice, with the help of which he can dare to slip in oblivion, uncaring about any other things. The chiming sound ...that chiming sound that defines her. He needs to hear that.

But nothing came! And he felt himself falling down...falling down in the unending darkness. And the same fear was back again. The same fear of loosing...detachment.

The fear of abandonment was back again!

Someone was calling him and he wanted to react, anything to make this nightmare vanish, end, to leave him. But that voice didn't held that power. The voice was not hers.

"Chhotey!"

"Chhotey, look at me!!"

A hand slipped into his...but the warmth was different, not strong enough to pull him.

"Chhotey! Chhotey breathe! Chhotey"

The voice was getting louder. And he tried to breathe.

"Chhotey.." Deviani Raizada hugged her grandson, running her hand on his back. "Breathe Chhotey...everything is fine...Khushi had just gone to visit her Buaji...calm down...calm down Chhotey..." Deviani Raizada closed her eyes.She should have not allowed Khushi to leave.

"You can go and meet her chhotey...calm down...shhh..." pulling form the hug she cupped his face. "Look at me Chhotey...look up...Khushi has not left you...Abeer has not left you...Are you listening?...you get up...I will tell Nanhe to drop you...come...get up..." She pulled him on his feet.

"Nanhe!! Nanhe!!" She called out for him.

"Ji Dadi..." NK came smiling, only for that smile to vanish quickly. He looked at Arnav who was soaked in perspiration.

"Nanav, what happened? You look like you have ran a mile." NK walk towards them.

"Nanhe, drop Arnav at Khushi's place?" Nani said but Arnav interrupted her.

"No... Nani. I am... fine. I can go on my own" Arnav took a deep breath as he tried to put his senses alive.

"No Chhotey, Nanhe will..."

"No Nani, I will go now..." with his form still shaking, he took the car keys with his trembling hand.

"Chhote?...Chhote wait..." Nani called but he was already gone.

"Dadi what happened to him?" NK asked, confused.

Deviani Raizada sat on the bed as her weak legs gave up.

"Dadi?" NK sat beside her.

"I don't know Nanhe, but I don't want to see that Arnav again, the Arnav I have seen in those two months. I should have stopped Khushi. I should have..."

NK kept his hand on her shoulder.

"Everything will be fine, Dadi. Don't worry. Nanav has changed a lot, his fears are much better now." NK tried to console her.

Deviani nodded her head. But NK had not seen the Arnav she just saw today. She closed her eyes in regret and guilt. She should have stopped Khushi!

"We will teach him a lesson, Ebu. How can he shout at us? How can he say he babysits us? Can't he see it's the other way around? He acts like a baby. He holds my hand while sleeping as if I am going to leave him and then he says I am a baby. I care for him and I am the baby. I make the khadoos Arnav Singh Raizada smile occasionally and I am the baby. I fight for him and I am the baby. He is such a Laad Governor." Khushi ranted her frustration and anger in front of her son, who was trying to catch up with her and nod his head occasionally. Khushi sat on the bed crossed leg with her face all red with anger. Ebu crawled to her.

"Bu bu.."

Khushi looked down at him and picked him.

"I know you are angry too. We are not going to forgive him this time. And..." and before she can continue, a loud knock on the door demanded her attention.

"Now who is there..." Khushi got up from the bed.

"Who is th..." Her next word lost in her throat as she saw who it was.

"Khushi, see Arnav is here. He said he will the stay the night." Buaji smiled at her niece.

Khushi looked at her Buaji and then at Arnav ji, who was looking straight in her eyes with an emotion she can't contemplate.

"Khushi, let him in" Buaji softly chided Khushi, who was standing like a stone at the door.

Khushi stepped aside, giving a way to Arnav.

Buaji smiled and went away to bring some snacks for her son-in-law.

Khushi slowly turned around to see him. He stood there with his back facing her, not saying a word. Khushi shifted uncomfortably on her legs. Why isn't he saying anything? Khushi cleared he throat loudly to gain some attention, but got none. She sighed and looked at Ebu. So at last she started.

"Why...why did you come here? You...you wanted peace right?...So I came here...So...Why..." Khushi's splintering stopped immediately as she saw him turn. Her heart jumped in her throat as she looked in his red eyes. She immediately ran towards him.

"What happened? Aap ki tabiyat kharab hai kya? Aren't you feeling well? " She touched his forehead, which was moist. Moist? But it was not raining outside. Khushi touched his T-shirt, which was wet too. "Aap ...aap bheeg kaise gaye? It's not raining outside. Why are your clothes wet then?" Khushi asked, concerned.

But got no reply in return.

"Arnav ji, speak please..." Khushi asked, an uneasy feeling settling on her heart.

Khushi kept Ebu on the bed and made Arnav sit on the bed. Running to the bathroom, she immediately brought a towel and started drying his hair.

"Arnav ji, aap kuch bol kyun nahi rahe hain? If you are mad at me then you should shout, don't keep quite." The restlessness in her heart was increasing every minute as he didn't reply to her any question. Khushi dried his hair and his face. "Arnav ji, your T-shirt is wet, remove it otherwise you will catch cold..." she held the end on his T-shirt. As he again choose to not reply, Khushi pulled the T-shirt over his head. His semi nudeness didn't bothered her today as her mind was too anxious to find the reason of his quietness.

"Bu...bu..."

Khushi looked at Ebu.

"Arnav ji, hum abhi aate hain.." Khushi took Abeer and went out of her room.

"Buaji?" Khushi called as she entered the kitchen.

"Khushi, I am making coffee for Arnav. He told he had his dinner, so I thought coffee.."

"Buaji, no need of any coffee. Can you take care of Ebu, for tonight?" Khushi asked.

"I was going to tell the same thing, Khushi. Your bed is too small for three. I will take care of Ebu, you don't worry.." Buaji replied.

Khushi looked at Ebu.

"Ebu, sleep with Nani for tonight, please? I don't know what happened to Arnav ji. He is not looking fine. You don't trouble Nani, ok?" Khushi kissed his pout. "ok?" Ebu smacked a kiss in return. Khushi smiled and handed him to her Buaji. "Good night, Ebu. Don't trouble your Nani.." Khushi waved at him.

Ebu rested his head on his Nani's shoulder as he saw his mother leave.

Khushi entered the room and latched the door. She turned to look at Arnav ji, who was siting in the same position she had left him and which worried her to no end. She went and knelt before him.

"Arnav ji, what happened? Why are you not talking? Look at me please...you are worrying me." Khushi choked out as salty waters filled her eyes. "You...you are mad at me for leaving the house? Tell me..." Khushi tried to make him speak but he was still, not saying a word.

Khushi looked at his face, beads of perspiration making their way down from his forehead to his cheeks, his chest was dank again. Khushi's shocked eyes looked at him and she realized why his T was wet. Khushi cupped his face.

"Arnav ji,now you are scaring me. Please say something. Why are you sweating so much? Should I call the Doctor? Please open your mouth and say something...please..." Khushi pleaded, on the verge of crying.

She got up and hugged him, frightened to her wits.

"If you...you...you are mad at me then I am sorry, Arnav ji. I am sorry for the scene I created in the restaurant. I promise I will never go out. I am sorry for coming here. ...I am sorry...sorry Arnav ji...now please say something...please.." Khushi sobbed as she felt him remain still in her arms. She pulled away to look at him. "See I am telling I am sorry...What more you want?...speak something Arnav ji..."

But instead of getting any verbal reply, Khushi felt his arms circle around her waist and pulling her closer he buried his face in her bosom.

Khushi smiled, at least she got some reaction. She pulled him more closer and rested her cheek on his hair.

"You scared me Arnav ji. It's ok if you don't want to talk now. We will talk tomorrow, ok?" Khushi pulled away to look at him but he didn't lifted his face to make an eye contact. "You...you sleep.We will talk tomorrow..." Khushi laid him on the bed and pulled the blanket over him. Walking across, she got in the left side of the bed. She sat there, looking at him as he laid on the right side, his eyes open but he wasn't looking at her. She slipped her on hand in his and with other she patted his forehead.

"Sleep Arnav ji." Khushi said softly, and as some minutes ticked by, she saw him close his eyes. Still holding his hand, she laid beside him. And with the other hand she patted his chest covered with the blanket, lulling him to sleep.

Hope you all enjoyed it :)

Fear of abandonment is a psychological disorder, sometimes very common and sometimes can he severe. Much on this will be elaborated in the coming updates. Some call this fear autophobia, I think it's not given any official name but I found this name in some places while reading more on this.

Do leave back your feedback :)