MG FF ~ABHI NAHIN AANA ~ THREAD 9 - Page 53

Drops of blood fell all the way on the floor as she slowly walked up the stairs and fell on the bed, deciding to give up, once and for all. She smiled..geet handa...giving up...sounded pathetic! but this was good. At least he'd live.. not very happily but yes, free from a burden like her who pains him in every step he takes.

He sat there looking at the doctor blankly, not knowing how to react. Her words-i killed it echoed in his ears. Why did she lie? Why...why did she lie? Dr Seema realized it was too shocking for maan.

"i believe its a shock for you Mr Khurana... but that morning she came to me crying saying she had been bleeding the whole night...she cad been crying asking me to save the baby but it was alas too late.

She was too weak to sustain this pregnancy and then she had been taking sleeping pills as well... in this condition, it proved dangerous. She drinks as well i guess..."

He could just barely nod. Each and every word of hers echoed in his ears.. she said she killed their baby..she said he has to hate her and let her go... and she bloody lied just so that he could leave her!! he somehow managed to hold himself back in front of the doctor and walked out, dying to just go and crush her in his arms. She was guilty... and that is why she did all this. Somehow he just realized, how much ever he loved her, insanely, he hadn't been able to penetrate into her heart. He sat in the car and wiped his tears. He wanted to see her once..now itself. Gathering himself, he took out his phone and dialled her number. He had given her back her phone in case she did something stupid.

She fell on the bed, with her wrist oozing blood and held the camera she had found in her bag with her good hand. Strange as it may seem, she never let go of that broken camera that held so many memories of them. She switched it on and smiled through her tears, watching the pictures slide past the screen..of her and maan. How happy he looked with her.. but she is the one who took away every bit of his happiness.. he fought with his mother for her...he lost his baby..she corrected herself..she killed his baby and his hurt is so deep than it seemed. He fought the world to make her okay and she did nothing but pain him. She kept the camera on her heart and closed her eyes, giving it all up, forever!

Her phone rang, reminding her that she was still not dead. She didn't want to take any calls right now. She took the phone beside her and smiled seeing his name flashing on the screen. She might as well say him a final goodbye.

The moment he heard the call being received, he felt like crying his heart out to her. never in his life had he felt this much helpless.

"jaan...", his voice broke.

She smiled with a certain peace gripping her heart, "maan... kahan ho tum?"

Her voice... so soft he was hearing after ages. He blinked away his tears and turned on the ignition. He just wanted to hug her and tell her that she was not at fault for the baby... tell her she needn't lie anymore... make her trust him.

"why did you lie geet? Why did you say you killed the baby when it was something else?"

She gulped down that knot in her throat..so he knew? She didn't want him to feel guilty at all. She is the one who wronged him..not him!

He couldn't bear her so mum and broke the silence between them, "am coming to you jaan.. just wait.. am coming..."

Her heart fluttered as her lashes grew heavy. He shouldn't see her like this. No..not at any cost. Tears rolled down her eyes as she shook her head, "abhi nahin aana...Maan, abhi nahin aana..."

She disconnected the phone and switched it off. She looked at the ceiling and caressed her stomach gently, "am sorry...", she whispered and closed her eyes.

Those same words.. same situation and he was scared to hell. Everything from the past played back in his mind...he couldn't reach her the last time. Could it be that she has done something...like the past again? Ohh god..he would kill to see her safe and sound. He tried to call her but her phone came switched off. Worried to hell, he drove madly towards their farmhouse. He didn't even wait for the car to stop and literally jumped off and rushed in.

There was dead silence all around. He panicked more and rushed in, looking for her.

"geet..are you there?", he rushed towards the hall, the living..the kitchen and then stumbled upon the knife on the floor which had blood stains on it. His eyes widened in shock and he turned white in fear seeing drops of blood everywhere on the floor. Praying that his life was alright, he followed the trail that led upstairs. There was so much blood. He prayed she didn't do something stupid. Gripping his heart, he rushed and barged into their bedroom only to see his jaan sleeping peacefully in the dark. He turned on the lights and rushed towards her. she looked so calm...as if she were sleeping. He hugged her tightly, realizing she was okay. But those drops of blood..he checked her and then noticed the floor soaked completely in blood form the hand that was dangling down the bed. He couldn't believe what she had done. But there was no time to think. He patted her cheeks trying to wake her up, "jaan..what did you do? Open your eyes... just open your eyes geet..."

He rushed around the room looking for something to tie around her hand calling out to her again and again so that she at least opens her eyes to keep awake. He found a shirt of his and tore it. He rushed to her, crying, calling out to her, tying that cloth around her cut to stop the bleeding, "geet wake up please baby... i will make things right.. i wont blame you for the baby.. i had never blamed you... i will do whatever you want but just don't go away from me.."

She didn't flinch. She remained cold. He carried her in his arms and rushed out, still trying to at least make her open her eyes and drove madly towards the hospital.

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It took her three days to completely open her eyes. The doctors had informed that she had lost lot of blood and she has to be transfused with blood from the banks. He still couldn't believe she could do this! He spoke to Dr Richard over the phone telling her about the suicidal act of hers which he seemed to worry about too. Being an experienced doctor in this field, he asked her to bring her back to London for a complete check up and treatment.

"I might be wrong Mr Khurana but this is a case of severe depression. If its that, then we can deal with it... but till she recovers you have to be with her all the time. She is kind of mentally unstable right now..."

He sat on the chair, holding his face in his arms. He hadn't been home in the past three days or even had eaten anything proper. He felt a warm hand rest on his shoulders and immediately looked up to see nisha and sasha.

He didn't know how to explain all this to nisha for she had given him the responsibility of geet, to make her alright but he failed her. he dipped his head in shame when nisha sat beside him and hugged him. He felt her love through that hug and finally let his tears down.

"its alright maan... i know you have done your best!"

"am sorry chachi.. am really very sorry..."

"no..you needn't. Sasha told me everything. And i know you will keep geet very happy. I trust you.. so stop blaming yourself."

"am scared right now..", he confessed honestly. Nisha held back her tears and caressed his hair, "you don't have to. I have known geet all my life.. the only person she had ever listened to was her dad and its you now. You mean the world to her maan... its her madness don't you see?"

He just didn't say a thing. They sat quietly until the doctor informed that she had regained her senses and that they could see her. maan rushed in while nisha stopped sasha from following maan, "let them be..we have more to work on sasha. I need to speak to avantika khurana.. connect me to her.."

He stood beside her, holding himself. She was struggling to open her eyes. The first thing he did was just hug her tightly, letting his tears wet her shirt.

She was glad that she had finally died. But the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was him as much as she was happy about it, it pained her to realize that she was unfortunately still alive. She felt him crush her into his embrace and she liked it. His tears made her restless but she couldn't move. She let her own tears roll down to vanish into the pillow.

"who gave you the right?", he breathed sharply into her ears. She couldn't move but she could feel that anger in his voice. He parted and held her by her shoulders, glaring at her, "who gave you the right to take your own life?"

He inched dangerously closer to her, scaring her. she stopped breathing as the next set of words hit her, "its mine jaan... only i have the right to do whatever with your life.. its mine..remember that and i won't forgive you for this..."

That evening, he quietly led her back to their home. He had the entire farmhouse cleaned, new curtains, new sheets... everything changed, wiping every bit of the witness of her stunt she had pulled on a few days back. She watched him lovingly as he did everything to make her comfortable. He made her have some food, helped her with her medicines and even brought fresh clothes for her but refused to speak a word.

At night, he just hugged her close and slept off. She remained aloof... she didn't even speak a word. She kept cursing herself and this sudden silence between them eased her initially. He was very careful around her. he made sure she had her food on time, had her medicines and had a good sleep. He noticed her very quiet these days, often staring out of the window. And he just let her. he didn't speak much unless it was necessary like asking her to take her medicines or go for a shower. He was even careful while she took a shower.

Geet, though liked this silent, but it made her restless. They had never been this quiet..whenever they were together. They had never been able to keep their hands off each other but the distance could be felt now. He didn't go to office and tried to be with her all the time. He worked from home, made her watch tv and walk around the lawn. He even prepared her favourite dishes but the silence hung heavy on them.

He came to the living room and saw her stand in front of that huge window staring at the rains outside. Its been almost a week and she was recovering well. He was still scared if she might do anything stupid. He was upset that she could ever do this to him. He watched her stare at the rain and then walked ahead.

She felt him hold her hand and lead her out. She was confused at first but then got surprised to see him taking her out in the rain. He walked her towards the little lawn outside. It was drizzling and the clod droplets of water made her skin tingle. She was coming out of the house after a long time. She looked at him but he just looked blank. The rain..she was reminded of that evening. She wanted to walk in the same umbrella as him.

Pehle kabhi, na tune mujhe gham diya
Phir mujhe, kyun tanha kar diya
Guzaare thhe jo lamhe pyaar ke
Hamesha tujhe apna maan ke
To phir tune badli kyun adaa
Yeh kyun kiya?

couldn't stop putting up this song. please hear it while you read. kind f geet's monologue.

[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX0XRi6-RKI[/YOUTUBE]

A small smile crept on her lips.. she was indeed a curse. Those who loved her always faced the burnt. Her father passed away because of this, her mother was no more with her because of this and maan was burning because of this. She raised her hands up in the air, feeling the cold droplets burn her skin. But she couldn't feel happy. It was more than a week.. he hadn't spoken to her, let alone touch her.

Kabhi jo baadal barse

Main dekhoon tujhe aankhein bharke

Tu lage mujhe pehli baarish ki duaa

Tere pahloo mein reh loon

Main khudko paagal keh loon

Tu gham de ya khushiyaan

Seh loon sathiyaa..

She walked barefoot on the grass feeling alive, taking baby steps. She felt his presence behind her. before she could turn around, he hugged her from the back, crushing her into his arms. She shivered with his touch as his stubble grazed her cheek and she felt him kiss her neck softly. She was feeling him this close after ages. Her eyes welled up, feeling his hold tighten around her stomach.

hmm Koi nahi.. tere siva mera yahaan

Manzilein, hain meri to sab yahaan

Mita de sabhi aaja faasle

Main chahun mujhe mujhse baant le

Zara sa mujhme tu jhaank le

Main hoon kya?

The rain drenched them as she pressed her lips tighter, cursing herself. She shouldn't have been alive. He was burning in this agony just because of her. she had no one in this world except him..he was real and he has the right to be happy. She broke the hug and turned to look at him. She stood numb seeing so much pain in his eyes. His eyes were moist she could see it in the rain itself. She has to make him happy and he will be happy only if she isn't with him anymore because she can never make him happy. She failed him.. worse she couldn't take care of his baby.

Kabhi jo baadal barse

Main dekhoon tujhe aankhein bharke

Tu lage mujhe pehli baarish ki duaa

Tere pahloo mein reh loon

Main khudko paagal keh loon

Tu gham de ya khushiyaan

Seh loon sathiyaa..

He saw her crying. He shook his head and wiped her tears. He carried her in his arms and walked back into the farmhouse. He made her stand on the carpet and went to get towel for both of them. She stood there...watching him retreat. This is worse. She just can't take it anymore. It hurts so bad. She went to the kitchen and held the knife in her hands once again. She wouldn't fail this time. She has to give up and stop torturing him. She brought her wrist up..the same wrist that still had bandage from the last cut.

She positioned it well this time, making sure it would be a deeper one and breathed in sharply. She pressed it slightly and it hurt. She heard footsteps and before she could react, she felt herself being pushed away and the knife being snatched. She stumbled and hit the counter.

"what were you doing?", his angry voice echoed in the whole house. She managed to stand up and dared to look up at him. His eyes were bloodshot..pained and what not. He marched towards her with quick odd steps and shook her violently, "samajh kya rakh hain apne aap ko? Geet... i told you..its my decision whether you live or die... do you even realize what goes through me to see you dying every moment?"

She looked at him painfully as his words hit her brutally and he took a step back, "you want to die right! Go die! But remember geet... you die..I die.. because there is no life without you..."

She was scared to see him grab the knife and dangerously place it on his wrist, "you think dying is easier right? Fine..lets end this torture right away. Lets die..."

she tried to cup his face and beg him not to do this but He was determined and pressed the knife harder into his wrist, making it bleed. She watched him in horror as he pressed the knife harder and then slid it away. Blood gushed out like water soaking the carpet red. She looked at his bleeding hand with wide eyes and then back at his face.

He looked straight into her eyes and threw the knife in front of her, "go die! But remember.. i will never leave you alone even in death!", and he just walked into their bedroom, letting his blood leave a trail behind.

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next: breaking free

Prev: PART 73

Next: PART 75

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