AsYa Story-UNRECOGNIZED EMOTIONS-Thread 6- Parts 20-21 - Page 39

Blue!--No!

Green!-- Not my color!

Red!-- Never! I am not the bride after all!

In no time, Zoya's room was strewn with clothes that she had dejectedly rejected. Nothing was there that would satisfy her choice for the Mehendi function that was all set to take place that day. She huffed around the room and took another look of all the littered clothes in a hope to find something- anything that would match her mood.

She didn't know why she was all moody and annoyed. Perhaps, because she had no idea if Asad was coming or not. And to top them all, she was not getting anything to wear. She cursed herself for paying no heed to her mother's advice. She had repeatedly asked her to get herself some new dresses for the wedding. But being all busy that she was, she neglected everything that Zeenat said, and there she was, standing in the middle of the room and staring at her almost empty wardrobe which seemed to have been raked just a few minutes back. She had almost lost all her patience when she heard her mother call her from behind.

"Whenever I tell you to listen to me, you do exactly the opposite. And thankfully I had guessed that you would do the same this time too... Here you go... ", she said while keeping beautiful Salwar kameez in her hands. Zoya was shocked and too happy to say anything at that moment. It was a beautiful white Anarkali suit that would magnify her beauty even more.

"Thank you... thank you... thank you so much Ammi!! You are the best! I just love this and I love you!" She shrieked in joy and jumped to hug her mother tightly. How effortlessly she could understand her needs!

The problem of her dress was hence solved. Zoya was just like a kid when it came to selecting dresses for any party. She would either go out shopping at the last moment to grab something, or just prayed for her mother to bring her relief.

Zoya's birthday last week was a silent affair. She liked it that way. Too much of hustle and bustle always reminded her of the lost people in her life who had been making her birthdays special till then, and moreover, she had a lot to take care of in the University till the time she got herself all free for the wedding functions. She managed to meet up Aafreen and Farhaan occasionally and also helped them in shopping. And finally, when the day was there, she realized that she was not prepared herself.

She sighed in relief and quickly ran to take shower to get herself all ready and set for the ceremony.

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Zoya turned around and then looked back at herself in confusion-Did I overdo it? Her dress was sleeveless and simple yet it glorified her already glowing face. She had a yellow dupatta placed neatly on her left shoulder, her hair was tied in a side bun which was adorned with a small brooch; her earrings were not too long, but it managed to do the needful; and for a change, she wore a nose pin for the first time. Zeenat had already put a little kohl at the back of her head to save her from evil eyes, saying that she was looking no less than an Angel. But at the moment, Zoya was only bothered about all pairs of eyes that were stuck on her.. Some middle aged Aunties praised her, some girls admired her and men ogled her. She was uncomfortable because of the entire gaze on her and started fidgeting with the ends of her dupatta which was one of her habits.

"You are still the same! Always doing something or the other with your fingers! Why don't you just give them some rest huh?"

The voice of a man that appeared from nowhere had startled her and left her stupefied in her spot when she recognized the person. Her ears longed to hear that voice which seemed to be huskier now. She didn't have the courage to turn around and look at him, what if it was just an illusion? She desperately wanted him to be there, here, with her, Always.. And there he was! An illusion or just a dream, she didn't know. All she knew was that she wanted to savor the moment!

"Asad?", she said in a voice which was a little louder than a whisper and that demanded a confirmation of his presence.

"Yes!", he replied in similar way like her leaning a little more forward near her ears. Zoya shivered a little hearing his voice. That intensity and depth was missing in them in the last few years.

She turned around slowly and saw Him, standing right in front of her. I wasn't dreaming!! , cheered her inner voice in joy. Her hands moved to his face as a reflex when her eyes perceived the intensity of the emotions in his eyes. Her fingers brushed his stubble and she chuckled as they tickled her a little. She looked at him, who was now smirking openly and that's when she realized their position. She quickly moved back when she found him making no effort to do that.

"I thought you wouldn't come..." She tried to initiate a conversation in order to reduce the awkwardness, after all it has been six years since she had touched him.

"You didn't want me to come back?", he asked her, still smirking.

Zoya looked at him in disbelief. She did not expect such a casual behavior from him when he would come back. He didn't seem like that broken or confused man whom she had talked to 8 months back. His eyes revealed something more which she was unable to decipher.

"It's nothing like that. Who am I to say anything to you?", she stated rather than questioning him and started proceeding towards the women who were now preparing henna for the bride. She couldn't take more than two steps when she felt a pull in her hand and landed straight on his broad chest. He held her by her waist and took her behind one of the many decorated pillars of the hall.

"Zoya... ", he said and let out a heavy breath that fanned her face.

"Hmm...", she replied unable to bear their close proximity.

His face was just inches apart from hers, and his hands were still firm on her waist. She made no attempt to come out of his hold. It seemed perfect to her.

"You look Beautiful tonight! What are your plans huh?", he said,moving closer to her as his lips slightly touched her ears.

"Asad!" she called out her name keeping her eyes closed. She didn't realize when she had shut them.

"Asad!! OMG ASAD!!"

A loud squeal from Aafreen broke their moment. Asad moved away from her reluctantly and winked at her before turning towards Aafreen. She launched herself on him and hugged him as tightly as she could.

"Hey hey.. Easy gal!! What are you trying to do? And I just met you few minutes back? Then why do you need to jump like a monkey again when you did that once already?", Asad teased her but Aafreen was too happy to snap back at his tease.

"I know!! But I just can't believe it yet!! You came Asad! You really came!!" She hugged him again.

Zoya stood behind him and also smiled in contentment admiring their friendship. True friends can never be drifted apart! She sighed.

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Zoya tried to ignore him as much as she could. His sudden happy-go-lucky nature and unusually jovial mood created an aura of confusion around her. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, yet it seemed to be perfect to her.

Asad could sense the hesitation and uncertainty within her. She was holding herself back, just like he did. But wasn't that something quite evident? He thought and his inner self nodded in affirmation. He was reaponsible for it.. It was he who had taken her for granted.

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Flashback starts

The mail that he had unwillingly sent to her was not only a blow to her, but also to him, his morale. He had done that when he was completely taken over by despair. He wanted to quit, he wanted to run away, not from Zoya or his family, but from himself! He hated himself for considering Zoya for granted. He hated himself everytime he raised her hopes high and again left her all dejected and dispirited. His guilt was surpassing his confidence and his apprehensive soul never let him think once about anything other than her.

He wasn't selfish.. He fought with his inner turmoil everyday and tried to regain his faith in himself. He wanted to love her like no one would ever have; he wanted to give all his dedication to the relationship which was much more than friendship and meant the world to him. He wanted to confess his love for her. But he was afraid. He was scared of hurting her and losing her.

Wasn't He the one for whom his mother had to keep her self-respect at stake and be in a relationship that had betrayal, disloyalty and was dead long ago? Wasn't He the reason for a loveless life of his mother? And if anything wrong would have ever happened to him and Zoya, he was sure enough that it would be all because of Him. He had lost his faith in the institution of marriages. He had been a sufferer in one such bond that never let his mother choose the way that she would have in his absence. He couldn't do this Zoya and definitely not to their beautiful bonding that evolved and strengthened each day. He had to stop before all was gone!

He remembered the day- It was her Birthday the next day and what could be a better day for her to start afresh? He knew it would be as difficult for her as it was for him, but his spirit demanded an initiation towards the termination of their unnamed relation. At first he denied, but later he had to concede to it. He assembled a lot of courage and typed the mail that he knew would hurt her, but also help her to come out of an elusive bond.

Zoya's reaction did not shock him, in fact, it was something that he had expected and desired as well. But the emptiness that he felt within himself had left his life all disordered. Zoya, a girl who defined emotions, had given him a cold reply. She avoided his calls and he tried to feel a feeling of satisfaction. He was delighted at his loss as that was what he wanted for her.

But what should have been perfect had turned out to be the most imperfect decision of his life. He could not stop himself from calling her everyday and wished her to take his call at least once. All that was happening was against his plan of action. Giving Zoya a chance to move on should have been his foremost priority, but it was just going the reverse way.

Finally, after a continuous effort of 4 months, Zoya took his call. Her voice was devoid of the chirpiness that she once had. He did not really know what to say, but just her voice gave him a boost that he was lacking in. He wanted to give 'them' a chance, may be their last chance.

But he failed miserably when it came to expressing his emotions and that had happened yet again! He failed this time too and Zoya, gave him an ultimatum. It was now his turn to mend that was shattered and smashed brutally by none other than him.

He restricted himself from calling her again, but he never missed out anything that had happened to her in those 8 months. Thanks to Aafreen and her continuous support. He was now determined to wrap up his work in New York and go back to his Zoya, his mother, his country and his father too.

Staying away from Zoya had made him realize that he had never tried to see or know his father's side of the story. There was no way that he could forgive him for what he did, but there had to be some reason for which his mother could never leave her husband. He knew the reason now- that was Love, unconditional, imperishable Love, the same Love that he had for Zoya.

The last 8 months were loneliness and solitude for him in true sense. He realized that Zoya had always been with him, through every thick and thin, even after being away from her and living in a different country. He wasn't lonely then, he is now.. He was not only abandoned by her, but also by the fright that he had. Yes, he was able to overcome them and visualize life in a different perspective. He was able to let go his fear and accept whatever came his way.

Life never came with a guarantee and marriages did not have any warranty card issued too. It was centred on Trust, Loyalty, Dedication, Passion and most importantly LOVE, and Asad had them all.

Hence, uncertainty was not the word; it was confidence and faith in himself that he needed to acquire.

Aafreen's wedding had once again served him as a golden opportunity and he could never let that go. He didn't let her or Farhaan know about his arrival as he wanted to surprise them as much as he wanted to surprise Zoya.

Asad had told about it to Dilshad though and he also knew about her meeting with Zoya. He had deliberately not wished Zoya on her birthday as he feared that he would blurt out something and he also wanted to reach to her when he was ready and sure, which he was now. He cherished the memories of the last 6 years that he had spent in the cozy apartment in New York, relishing each moment that he had spent thinking about Zoya, his family and friends. He resigned from his job after the successful completion of the project and set himself all ready to go where he exactly belonged to, his love, his Zoya.

Flashback ends