F I V E: Hurt

5 years ago

-Grace-

@-Grace-

CHAPTER FIVE

Hurt

Asher was devastated, he felt like he would never be able to bring himself out of this hell hole where he would be tortured at every turn of the way. It seemed impossible to forget it all and move on. Maybe no one wanted him to move on, maybe it gave them pleasure seeing his misery. 

He wanted to sit in his cabin and drown in work. But the severe migraine didn’t allow him to even sit straight for a second. He had to go home, leave this place which will now always have bitterness attached to it.  Despite being there for only a few days, it had started to become one of the unpleasant places. 

Asher turned off his laptop, and grabbing his coat of the wooden hook  left the room, pushing the door slightly. His existence was a mess right now and he had to get sorted. 

Every second spent in this place only added to the burden he carried, the burden of his own existence in this cruel world. The burden no one was willing to share, neither had he expected anyone to. The walk from his cabin to the elevator was a walk of shame, anyone he saw in his way made him feel like a criminal who was being taken to the prison.. Asher knew that no one knew about his unpleasant encounter with Arnav but that’s all his mind could process. 

He didn’t want to make any eye contact and was only concerned with getting out of this building to breathe in fresh air. The air inside was only suffocating. 

Asher pressed the elevator button and exhaled frustratingly. Five seconds later the elevator chimed and the doors opened to reveal a beautiful Khirad. She was not happy to see him but she had to maintain a professional demeanor. She didn’t say anything and stepped to the side to let him walk in. Asher was not expecting to see her but he wasn’t angry at her. He was disappointed in himself for his rude behavior the last time they met. He wanted to apologize but he didn’t know how to approach her. Maybe this was a good time. Despite the severity of his migraine he reminded himself of the apology he owed. He could try to make something right at least. 

“Hi” he said in a hesitant tone. 

If it wasn't for the obvious lines of tension on his face Khirad would have cared. 

“Hi” she looked at him. 

“I wanted to apologize” he wasn't someone to beat around the bush. 

 “for the other day…I shouldn’t have…”

She was surprised. Khirad wasn’t expecting an apology from him, not one that soon. And not one when he was clearly disturbed about another ordeal. 

Asher didn’t know what else to say, his mind was barely working these days. 

“it’s alright” she replied without giving it much thought. It wasn’t that big of a deal, he was rude, he apologized, end of story. 

“thanks” he replied, feeling a little lighter. This apology had definitely lifted his burden slightly. 

She was a sensible young lady. Thank goodness she wasn’t like any of the other girls who just wouldn’t let go. Thank goodness. 

“So where are you headed?” she asked after a couple of minutes carefully thinking if she should start a conversation or let the awkward silence hang in the air. 

“home” 

For some reason that word pinched his heart, maybe because he didn’t have a home, just a place to live. 

She looked into his eyes and saw volumes, stories untold and locked. 

“how about you?” he asked out of courtesy. 

“just running some errands” she replied with a slight smile. 

Before either of them could say another word the elevator chimed and opened on the ground floor. 

“ill see you later” 

Asher spoke with a smile, that didn't reach his eyes. 

He was glad there was at least one person who wasn't hellbent on making him miserable. 

*********

Sometimes it feels like there is this force out there that just loves creating problems for us, and it's even worse when you have no one to blame except your destiny and you have no say as it’s too strong compared to an average human being. But for how long would the blame game go on? 

Vivan sat on his dark brown leather chair holding his head in his hands. Why did both Asher and Arnav have to end up here? Why did the whole drama have to take place in front of him? They were two adults weren’t they then why did he feel like it was his job to sort this out for them? Didn’t he always deal with his own problems without letting the slightest whiff to anyone? 

All those unanswered questions did nothing but tangle the loops of his mind even more. 

The fire that had been ignited between two of his new officers wasn’t going to die so soon. It was more complex than just a one time thing. 

*********

Arnav came to his new but not so furnished home in fury. His anger was very evidently reflected in his gait. Without even being bothered to turn on the main lights he walked towards his bedroom and threw his laptop on the couch. He opened the top three buttons of his white cotton shirt and took a box of cigarettes and a lighter from his drawer. 

He stood in his bedroom, by the balcony, behind the stained glass doors. His silhouette could be seen against the cloudy daylight in the darkness. He didn’t want to get out on the balcony and breathe in the fresh air.  This entire world was polluted, everyone was cruel, there was no such place where he could feel safe. His mother’s murderers were everywhere, this entire planet was occupied with them. He didn’t want to be seen by the world, he didn’t want to breathe the same air as them. He just wanted to stand at a distance and watch the world burn. 

When in crisis, people react in two ways. One when they don’t want anyone else to suffer because they have been through it and know how bad it is, and two when they want everyone to suffer because they suffered. 

Arnav chose to be the latter. 

He smoked cigarette after cigarette and finished half the pack at once. His lips had turned dark and he had lost his appetite. The cold glass of the balcony made him feel slightly chilly and he dropped the blinds to get much needed sleep, only to find sleep had been long gone. 

*********

There is a very thin line between reality and illusion and it’s very easy for us to confuse one with the other. Khirad felt that what she had been seeing as Asher until now was just an illusion, and what she thought was an illusion could possibly be the truth. 

She never expected him to apologize for the other day’s spontaneous outburst but the fact that he did, sort of surprised her. But more than anything it was the look that she saw in his eyes. The truthfulness, the helplessness, those eyes were calling out for help but unable to speak, the same sort of power and weakness that she saw in his eyes when she first met him. Only stronger. 

Maybe there was much more to him than what he let others see, he was multilayered. It was as if he was concealing his heart with walls around him  which would make him feel protected but prevent others from getting to him, even if it was for help.

Khirad didn’t want to make any assumptions just yet, there was still so much to know about him she didn’t want to make any conclusions, and part of her wanted to help him, badly.