Chapter 2

 For a moment I felt like saying that it was your husbands who gave them the power to humiliate you, my husband and his team did treat you as a Dasi which is still a human being, but your husbands treated you as an object which was worth staking for." But then seeing the sadness in her eyes I resisted myself. I wanted to ask "I didn't forgive my husband and his team for what they did to a noble lady, so how can you forgive your husbands for what they did to you?" but I couldn't. I just said, "Everyone in that sabha is equally guilty for your insult. Be he my husband, my uncle in law or your husband and if I will have to bear for what my husband did you will have to bear for what your husband did" 

Little had I known then that this simple statement of mine would actually turn true. Sixteen days had passed and everyone knew that this war will only decide who the loser was and not who the winner was. For the first two days I sat with Pitashri and Matashri in their chamber to hear the live updates of the war from Sanjay, but I could not hold it any further, I came to Kurukshetra unable to bear any further dissociation from my husband, I sat alone in my chamber near the battlefield for the entire day waiting for my husband. It was only 10 days since I came here but it seemed as if a lifetime has passed. I felt like I never had any other schedule.

I was waiting for Swami after the evening Shankhnaad but he did not turn up. Fearing the worse I rushed out. "Why did Yuvaraj return from the battlefield?" I asked the Dwarpal. "He has returned Yuvragyi", Dwarpal replied, "It is just that he has gone to Angaraj's chamber. I think he fears that Argaraj might break down with Vrihsena's death" This last line did hit me like an arrow. So Vrihsena is no more. 

Since his childhood Vrihsena was very close to me. He often accompanied Karna during his visits to Hastinapur. In the absence of Vrushali then he always came to me for his bed time stories and motherly affections. Also unlike the other children of Karna he addressed me as Bua and not kaaki. 

Tears started flowing through my eyes on thinking about him. "Please calm", I recalled him saying when I got the new of my son's death. That day had taught me how insensitive a war could be. Everyone was hurt at the death of Lakshman, but no one was mourning, The Kaurava army was actually celebrating the death of Abhimanyu-the 16 year old son of Subhadra and Arjun, and why not it was their first major achievement during the war. I was crying for my son all alone when Vrihsena came to console me. "This war like any other war would only decide who is left and by default which ever party is left would become right." "I know this is not the time say such words Bua", he continued after a pause, "But this is the truth. Be happy that he died in a one to one combat without any treachery. He soul would definitely be in peace. I don't know about the accuracy of this, but my dad often told that during the first few years of your marriage you feared the thought of bearing a child unless one day you saw Duryodhan kaka enjoying the childish games with me." "That is true", I replied, "IAnd that was not all. Seeing swami enjoying so much with you I got a bit emotional and a my eyes were filled with water. You suddenly saw me and thought that I was crying. You were just 5 or 6 then but you realized that a person who cries need to be consoled. You just rushed to me saying- Don't cry Bua, I will share you the Laddoo that  I have hidden from Duryodhan kaka. These were your favorite and you were not sharing those with anyone. Such an innocent act of yours made me understand that children are the ones who care for you the most. Hence I decided to have a baby of my own. You are the person who made me understand how beautiful being a mother could be" "And I will continue doing so." He replied, "I know that I can never take Lakshman's place in your life. Also I don't know if I will survive this war, but I assure you that if I survive, I would fulfill all the expectations that you might have had with Lakshman" I embraced Vrihsena and started crying profusely. "Please Don't cry Bua" he said in the most innocent voice one could have imagined, "I will definitely share the Laddoos I have hidden from Duryodhan kaka"

I wanted to cry at the maximum possible pitch, but I knew that this was not the right thing to do. I understood the feelings of the mothers who have lost not one or two but five of their sons in the past 16 days. I had to reach out to Vrushali & Supriya and encourage them to withstand this situation