Chapter 11

Part 15

 

Arnav closed his eyes and molded her soft body against his hard frame, savoring the velvety feel of her against him. It's been 2 weeks since her birthday, the day she was poisoned. He opened his eyes and looked down at her sweet face, her cheek resting against his chest. She was fast asleep. Cradling her close to his heart, he dropped a loving kiss on her hair. She is still weak, but he is glad she is fine. He is glad she opens her eyes, so that he can look in her beautiful browns and forget everything else. He is happy to hear her voice, the voice which fills his empty life with music.

 

He had never thought he would ever find himself in this vulnerable state. But now he is. He had never thought he will lose himself to someone else. But now he has. She has become a necessity of his life, a need he can't even breathe without.  He shudders to imagine a day without looking in her eyes, without listening to her melodious voice, without giving her her magic. Now there's no life without her. He don't know how he was living before she came into his life, but now there will be no life without her. He don't want a life without her. He can't live without her.

 

His misted eyes looked at the sparkling blue water of the lake. This morning she had asked him to throw the stones in the lake she had made him to collect, so that those horrible days never return again. And honest to God, this time he was more eager to throw the stones away. He don't want those two days to ever come back again. And for that, he is even ready to believe her childish beliefs.

 

"Hmmm..."

 

Arnav looked down to his chest to see her stir in her sleep.

 

"Kusi..?"

 

"Hmmm?" she fluttered her eyes open and looked up at him. She gave a small smile. "Good morning.."

 

Arnav chuckled. "It's not good morning, baby ... It's good afternoon..."

 

Khushi narrowed her eyes at him. "Sacchi? ... I sleep so much.." she pouted.

 

"Yes, you do." He stood up, picking her in his arms. "Are you feeling weak, Kusi?" Arnav asked, worry reflecting in his emerald eyes.

 

Khushi shook her head but couldn't make her tongue lie. "Thoda sa .. very little..."

 

Arnav smiled and kissed her cheek. "You need to take rest and eat loads. And you will all fine, OK?"

 

"Ji ..." she circled her arms around his neck and cuddled more into him. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reaching his room, he placed her on his bed and sat beside her. "Do you need anything, Kusi?" he asked.

 

"No ..." she lifted her hand to caress his cheek. "You want to say something?" She asked him as she saw the worry lingering in his beautiful eyes.

 

"I..." He took her hand in his. Yes, he want  to say her so many things. But he don't know if this is the right time. He want to share his past with Kusi and get over with it. But he don't know how she will react He don't want to lose her.

 

"Say something..."

 

Arnav looked down at her, her innocent face urging him to tell her the truth, to not keep her in dark. But the selfish part of him isn't allowing him. What if she decides to leave him? He can't bear that.

 

"Boliye na ..." she encouraged him.

 

"Kusi ..." threading her fingers with hers', he lifted her hand to his lips. "Kusi , Jennifer...she ...she is no more ... "

 

Khushi looked at him confused. "No more? Not understood.."

 

Arnav closed his eyes. "Jennifer is dead , Kusi ."

 

Khushi's eyes went wide in shock. "What? What are you saying? How? Mr. Mathews will be heartbroken.." a pearl ran down her cheek.

 

"The night after your birthday party, she was on her way to her Grandmother's place when her carriage met with an accident. And..." He looked at Khushi to see some more tears roll down her cheek. He wiped her tears and kissed her lips. "Don't cry , she doesn't deserve your tears.."

 

Khushi's shocked eyes looked at him. "Aisa mat boliye ...Don't say like that... I know you don't like her, but she is dead now..."

 

"And she deserved that!"

 

"Humne kaha mat boliye aisa. Don't say like that. She is dead now..."

 

"Why shouldn't I say that? She deserved it. If not by the accident, I would have killed her anyways. She tried to kill her duchess. She deserved it for trying to kill you!" His angry eyes looked into her confused and shocked ones.

 

"Wh...at? Trying to kill me?"

 

"Yes. She was the one who poisoned your drink."

 

"She? ... But why?" she looked at him for answers.

 

"Because she hated you, Kusi ...and she ...she..." He cupped her face and leaned over her... "and she tried to kill you ... I am so sorry ...so sorry, sweetheart ... I should have protected you ... I knew she is up to something , and I still failed to protect you ... I am sorry... "

 

Khushi just heard his apology, not knowing what to say and think. Jennifer tried to kill her? But why would she do that? She had never done anything to harm her, then why Jennifer wanted to kill her?

 

"Why?" she asked the only question running in her head. "Why she wanted to kill me?"

 

Arnav closed his eyes. This was the part he was dreading. How is he supposed to explain her?

 

"Kusi... I ..She never liked you..." He stammered, not knowing how to tell her about Jennifer.

 

"Never liked me? But I have done nothing wrong to her..." she said, confused.

 

"I ..I know ... It's ..." He took her hand in his, his heart beating too fast. "I ... Jennifer and I were in relationship , Kusi ... Before you came into my life.." he looked at her confused eyes and hated himself for his past.

 

"Relationship?"

 

"I ... I don't know how to explain this to you, Kusi ... I ..I ...God!" he moved back and ran a frustrated hand over his face.

 

Khushi sat on the bed and looked at him, confused. "What happened?" She inched close to him and removed his hand from his face. "Tell me please ..."

 

He looked into her innocent eyes. "Kusi , I...  and Jennifer ... we were in relationship ... Like ... Like Akash and Maria ... But it wasn't love, kusi ...I swear on you.." his cupped her face, his desperate eyes looking into hers.

 

"Like Maria jiji and Akash bha..iya? ...you ...you ... but... you are my husband"  her hand against his cheek trembled, devastated eyes looking into his misted ones. "Say something please .."

 

"Kusi ..." he swallowed, this is more painful than he had thought. He can't see the hurt in her innocent eyes. "Kusi, I am ... I swear it was not like Maria and Akash .. .. I ...I ... we just ... I don't know how to explain it to you Khushi ...It was not love, sweetheart ... and whatever it was, it was before our marriage.. It shouldn't matter , right?"

 

A tear rolled down her pale cheek. That's why Jennifer hated her. Jennifer and Arnav ji were meant to be together, just like Maria jiji and Akash bhaiya, but she came in between. Jennifer  loved Arnav ji, and she is the reason why they are not together.

 

"You ...you were going to marry her?" she asked, feeling like her happy world was being crushed in front of her.

 

"No..." he pulled her on his lap and made her look at him. "No , Kusi ...never ... I would have never married her ..I never wanted to get married ... You know I married you because of my Mumma's letter .." he wiped the tears that escaped her eyes. "Please don't cry ... Now I want you in my life, I can't imagine my life without you ... I can't live without you, Kusi ...I...I ...I love you ... believe me..please... "

 

Khushi buried her face in the crook of his neck and sobbed. "But she loved you ... I came in between ... I...I.."

 

"Kusi please ... It doesn't matter ... I would have never married her, no matter what ...please don't feel bad ..please ... Stop crying ..." He hugged her close, her cries piercing his heart.

 

 

Khushi lifted her head to look at him, . "Did you ...did you gave her magic?" A painful sob rose in her throat at that thought, blurring her vision with tears. 

 

Arnav just stared at her for few seconds before shaking his head vigorously, horrified. "No! I ...mean yes..but it was not magic , Kusi...magic is only with you... with her it was just a kiss... A meaningless kiss ... not love ... not magic, Kusi ... It ...it was , I don't know how to explain it to you, Kusi... You won't understand ... It was just a meaningless physical relationship, nothing else ...believe me ..."

 

"You gave her my magic.." as shuddering breath left her body, shaking her petite form.

 

Arnav shook his head, the lump in his throat not allowing him to continue. She is hurting so much, it was so much visible in her eyes. 

 

"No ...No dammit!! ..It was never magic with her , can't you understand that?! It was never magic with her! Stop hurting. Please! "

 

"You gave my magic to her ..." Her empty eyes accused him.

 

"God! NO!" He  stood off the bed. "NO! I never gave your magic to her. Whatever it was, it was before our marriage. So why does it matters now? Why are you so hurt?! Stop hurting! Stop chanting that! Please!!" he burst out, the hurt reflecting in her eyes killing him.

 

Khushi fisted the bedsheet in her palm, her petite body shaking with hurt and anger.

 

"You ..."  uncontrollable tears flowed down her cheeks, her throat hurting. "You gave her my magic! Go away! Go away! Hume aapse koi baat nahi karni!! Go away!!" a bile churning in her stomach, hating herself for liking his magic which he had shared with someone else too. "Go! Go!!"

 

 

Arnav just stared at her sobbing form, shocked. His confession meant nothing to her? She is asking him to go away because of the man he was before she came in his life? She is punishing him for his past? He strode towards her and caught her arms.

 

"My confession meant nothing to you, Kusi? I said I LOVE YOU DAMITT!!" He barked , mad at his feelings being overlooked.

 

Khushi eyes jerked up to meet his angry ones. She shook her head, keeping her palm against her ears. "Don't shout ...don't shout! ... Go away ...I don't want to talk to you ... go away! How can you give my magic to someone else? You had told only husband and wife kiss, then how can you kiss her? How can you kiss her if you never wanted to marry her? How? Why you did that? Why? " she sobbed more, making him angrier.

 

 

 

"You don't understand , do you?! DO YOU?!I love you! I said I love you! I never loved her.NEVER!"

 

"Then ... then how can you kiss her?... Why? ... You didn't loved her like Akash bhaiya loves Maria jiji ... You never wanted to marry her like Akash bhaiya wants to marry Maria jiji ... Then why you kissed her? You also hugged her? You also allowed her to sleep on your bed? "

 

He pulled her in his arms, crushing her shaking form against him, her hysterical sobs killing him. She is hurting so much! He closed his eyes in despair. It's all because of him. All! But how is he to change his past? But he loves her. She is the only woman he has ever loved. Why can't she just understand that?

 

"I am sorry ... I am ready to do anything you want , but stop hurting yourself . I can't see the hurt in your eyes. Don't ask me to leave you. I can't do that. I love you, Kusi ...Do you hear me? I love you. I have never said this to anyone. I love you, pearl. Please don't do this to me. I am sorry for hurting you, I am so sorry ... .I swear I have never been with her after our marriage. I never kissed her after our marriage. She ... She ... she was not the only woman in my life before our marriage. I am sorry, Kusi ... please try to understand ...It was all before the marriage ..don't punish me for that ...please? "  Arnav pleaded.

 

Khushi moved back from the hug and laid on the bed, curling herself in a ball. "Go ..go away please .. go ..."

 

Arnav shook his head, not wanting to leave her when she is  hurting so much. Lying beside her, he put his arms around her waist and pulled her in his arms. "Sorry ...sorry ...Big sorry, sweetheart... please talk to me ... please ... It was never magic with someone else, Kusi ... Please understand this ... please .. I love you, only you ..."

 

Khushi sobbed and listened to him, feeling the pain in her chest like never felt before. She listened to his pleads and love till her sobs tired her and pulled her into oblivion. 

Hope you all liked it!

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