~Chapter 2: They Who Wander~

...Chapter 2...

...They Who Wander...

Arnav Singh Raizada paced up and down the hall. The day could not get any worse he thought. Firstly, his Di was missing. He knew something was wrong the minute the clock struck half past six and she was not yet home. Now his wife was nowhere to be found. He cursed himself inwardly as he remembered what had happened few hours before.

He had a bad day in the office and reaching home he had found his wife making an embroidery pattern on his handkerchief instead of getting his coffee ready for him. When with a smile she had shown her the design, he had blasted at her for being so selfish and childish enough to think that stupid hanky embroidery was going to make him, the great fashion king any less tired than he already was. He had seen a hurt look creep in her eyes but had ignored it and locked himself inside his room. Half an hour later when he came down, he had found his coffee ready at the breakfast table and his wife nowhere to be found. He had thought she had gone out to get something and would be back soon. 

Four hours had passed and now he was feeling extremely guilty for shouting at her. He tormented himself with unpleasant thoughts of her getting hurt or worse hurting herself as he took his phone to call her for probably the ninetieth time in the past hour. He had informed the police and they had told him to contact them back if she was not back before midnight and dismissed his concerns as normal family trouble. As her number came as not reachable again, he threw the phone onto his chair when suddenly there was a knock at the door. He rushed to open the door and there she stood wet all over but looking completely fine. Rage filled his entire body. He clutched her by her shoulders and shook her roughly and screamed at the top of his voice.

“Where were you? Do you know how worried I was? How dare you leave without informing me? Who do you think you are...? You down-market, good for nothing girl...”

He was interrupted by someone shaking off his hands roughly and pulling Khushi away from him. He looked up to meet a pair of fiery eyes.

“I don’t care who you are but nobody... I repeat... nobody has the right to treat my friend like that.”

“And who are you? How dare you touch Arnav Singh Raizada?”

Khushi, who had felt all her strength draining off her in the first shake now came back to her senses. She quickly stood in front of Kalpi.

“Arnavji, she is my friend. She has come from Mumbai with her aunt. She has no place to stay tonight. I asked her to stay with us tonight.”

“And who gave you the right to do so? I am not going to put up with one of your cheap friends another minute, let alone for one whole night.”

Khushi felt all her resolve break, she looked up hoping to find Di but only Arnav’s Nani was present and Nani never believed in supporting her. She preferred to remain oblivious to Arnav’s threats, abuses as she felt she should not interfere in husband – wife matters. Arnav glared at her; he knew she was looking for his Di.

“Di has gone somewhere. Aakash and Payal have gone to find her. No one is going to support you. Tell this classless girl to go elsewhere....”

“But where would she go...”

“Let her go to the streets I don’t care. I cannot let your cheap friends live in MY house. Now stop irritating me and come inside.”

Khushi felt something inside her break at the words ‘I don’t care’. Kalpi took her hand in hers.

“Khushi it’s ok. We can get a place for us to stay.... uh...”

“See... its ok... now COME...”

“It’s NOT OKAY.”

Arnav looked startled at her loud voice. She had never raised her voice before.

“Kalpi, you are staying here. Mr. Raizada, as far as I remember, YOU married me. I didn’t ask you to marry a ‘classless’ girl. But YOU did and legally this house partially belongs to me also. Any court of law can prove that. I have the right to bring anyone I like. Now if you will excuse me, my friends are tired and I need to take them to the guest room. Oh and Mr. Raizada, next time think twice before you mess with MY friends because I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.”

Saying so, Khushi took Kalpi and Gauri inside the house to the guest room past a shaken Arnav and a gaping Nani.

****

“Okay Bhai, is she alright? Good... Yes. Aman informed that she is at City Hospital... Don’t worry... Yes, we will bring her home.”

Aakash kept the phone down and turned to Payal.

“Khushi has reached home. She is fine. Do you want me to drop you at home before I go and pick up Di?”

“No Aakash. I will come with you.”

“Okay”

Aakash looked at Payal and sighed. He never knew when he would ever see his lover again. His lover had been a shy, demure, musician with gentle eyes completely opposite to the girl he called his wife now. His wife was someone he had come to know after his marriage. His wife showed no interest in music, her sole purpose in life seemed to be to somehow get back at his brother for whatever he did to Khushi. He knew his brother was wrong yet one day when he had seen Payal snooping into his brother’s room and misplace his file, he did not feel she was right either. He was generally a mild tempered man who believed in justice at all cost but that day he had burst out at her. He still remembered her cold gaze and cutting words. He shuddered a little as the past flashed before him

“How dare you do this Payal? Don’t you know how important this deal is for us?”

“Deal? I don’t give a damn about your stupid deals. You think everything in your life will come easily for you. Did your Bhai give a damn about my sister’s feelings when he forced her into this loveless marriage? Then why should I care?”

“But Payal… that’s between Bhai and Khushi. Isn’t that what you said when we fell in love?”

“Love… What love? I never loved you. All this marriage is a sham. I only wanted to get back at your brother. Anyways, here is your precious file. But I will get back at him at any cost. You cannot be there for him every time.”

“So you never loved me? All this is a joke to you?”

“Listen Mr. Aakash Singh Raizada. I never loved you… I don’t love you… And I will never be able to love you. You are the brother of a monster who is responsible for my sister’s unhappiness. You will always be that.”

Aakash had been careful since then not to let Payal get near his brother anytime. Yet as the days passed, she seemed to get more and more inside a shell. She never talked much to anyone nor played music anymore. She seemed a different person. He knew deep inside that she would never love him yet he longed for her and hoped someday she would forget her stupid revenge and find her way back to him.

***

Anjali sat quietly as the car drove away through the busy streets of Delhi. Aakash and Payal had not said anything much when she had informed them shortly about taking the girl home but she knew her other brother was different. He had a stupid habit of controlling others and she had been oblivious to it for a long time. She had not known that he believed he controlled her life also until the day the truth about his marriage had come out. Seeing another woman in her position, she had finally stood up to her brother and asked him to shut up and mind his own business. Things had not been the same between them since then. She had then supported Khushi at every occasion that had called for attention that her brother now usually moved away from the argument whenever she started to interfere. She had tried to convince Khushi to stand on her own feet whenever necessary but that had proved futile as the past two years of trauma had completely shattered her confidence. Anjali knew only a miracle can save Khushi now. Just then the baby in her arms moved a little, she gently rocked the child as she had been taught and she snuggled back to sleep. She sighed thankful that the baby didn’t wake up. But she knew this peace was short lived.

****

“So, this will be your room…”

“Khushi… uh… thank you so much and sorry, I didn’t know that he was your husband. uh...”

“It’s ok Kalpi and I apologize for his behaviour.”

Kalpi looked around and saw Gauri busily arranging their bags and pulled Khushi towards her and asked softly,

“Khushi, does this happen every day? I mean… uh I know it’s your family issue and all but uh… don’t you have anyone to support you? I mean that old woman was simply looking on when he was being physical. Is this what you are facing every day?”

Khushi was tempted to deny as she had often been doing even to herself. But just as that moment, seeing sincerity and true concern in Kalpi’s eyes, she murmured

“Oh… you don’t know the half of it…”

“Uh?”

“I mean… uh… Anjali Di, his sister supports me… I have people to support me. Don’t worry about me, Kalpi…”

Kalpi looked as if she didn’t trust her.

“But...”

Just then Gauri turned around.

“Thank you so much, Khushi. We are so grateful. I hope one day we will be able to pay you back for your kindness.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that Aunty, its my duty to help. Now Kalpi... why don’t you guys take some rest and Kalpi don’t worry about anything. You can stay here as long as you want. Let me get something for you guys to eat.”

“But Khushi…”

Kalpi stared at Khushi’s retreating back. Gauri came and placed her hand on her shoulder.

“Let her go Kalpi… that girl seems to have suffered much. Oh, I know you want to help her… but my child, she needs to help herself first only then… only then will we ever be able to help her.”

“But... Ma... that man…”

Gauri sighed a bit. She had hated the way that old woman had stood silent when Khushi was physically shaken by Arnav. She would have never let such nonsense happen under her nose if she had seen anything like that in her house and that was precisely the reason why she had accompanied Kalpi even after she had regained her memory. She had chosen to leave her son whom she had met after years.

“He had no right to hurt her but my dear, it has to be Khushi who has to stand up to him. We cannot be around her always to protect her. When Raghav hurt you… uh yes, I know it was not physical… yet it was the same... you were the one who took the decision to leave. My dear child, there are some decisions… like the one you took… that has to be taken by one’s own self.”

****

 Arnav opened the door and found his sister carrying a little baby.

“Di… Aakash told me. Are you serious?”

“Yes. It’s for a week then I will send her back.”

“Oh. it seems like nowadays no one is interested in asking for my opinion. People seem to be of the opinion that this house belongs to them and they can bring anything inside.”

Anjali sighed at the hard-hearted sarcastic reply. She hated the tone of his voice. Khushi had called her while on her way back home and in their brief conversation they had exchanged the news about Kalpi and the baby. From the tone of her voice, Anjali had understood that Arnav was not too pleased about Kalpi’s arrival and had been pleasantly surprised when Khushi had informed that Kalpi was still staying in the house.

“This is a human being Arnav and Kalpi is too... They are not things. And yes, this house belongs equally to all of us. So, get off your high horse.”

Just then Khushi came to the door. Arnav looked sarcastically at her

“Here comes another owner…”

Everyone cringed at his tone and Anjali opened her mouth to say something when the baby in her arms cried out loud.

“Great this was what was needed at this time”

Arnav shook his head rudely and left the room. Anjali looked at the wailing child and realised she had wet her clothes.

“Oh no… She has wet her clothes and stupid me… I forgot to get new clothes for her from the hospital.”

Khushi gently pulled Anjali inside the house.

“Di, why don’t you take baby into your room. I will bring some water for the formula. I have already warmed it for her.”

****

As Khushi reached Anjali’s room, she saw her rummaging her cupboard.

“What’s the matter., Di?”

“Khushi… I am just searching for some old clothes if I can maybe use it on her for the night”

“Don’t worry about that Di. I have... uh... some baby clothes.”

Anjali looked up and saw Khushi holding a tiny frock. The dress was made of pale pink silk. The lining was soft cotton most suitable for babies’ skin. The design on the dress was simple yet intricate thread work. The stitches looked exquisite, in short, the dress was royalty.

“Khushi… this? Where did you get this?”

“I do this sometimes to kill my time… uh I hope it fits her.”

“Khushi this looks like a dress fit for a princess. Did you really make this? Have you ever shown this to Arnav? No fashion expert would overlook such a dress.”

“Leave it, Di. Look… Baby is still crying why don’t you feed her and change her soon? Come let me also help you.”

Anjali said nothing more and proceeded to do the task at hand.

****

It was past midnight when Payal woke with a jump. A loud wail reached her ears. Slowly she made her way to Anjali’s room.

“Di?”

“Payal… I am sorry did she wake you up? I don’t know what to do she seems to be full. She doesn’t want anymore milk. I really don’t know what’s wrong with her. Khushi and I have been trying for the past half an hour to make her sleep.”

“Maybe she misses her mother…”

Anjali and Khushi looked up a bit shaken at the thought. Anjali’s voice shook as she spoke.

“Maybe... We can’t bring her, can we?”

“No.. Di.. if its ok with you let me play a lullaby on my violin. Perhaps... it may soothe her.”

Anjali slowly nodded her head… ‘Yes... perhaps…’

****

Payal slowly placed the violin on her shoulders and pulled the bow on the strings lovingly. As the melody filled the air, Payal forgot herself. She played as if she and her instrument were one. The music was something she herself had composed long back. It was a soft gentle melody that spoke of the calm that came after a ragged storm. A calm that meant that finally it was safe to rest and the anxious times were finally ended. Slowly, the baby’s wails stopped and as Anjali rocked her, she began to close her eyes.

Kalpi had been awake listening to the baby’s wails, but it was mostly her own thoughts that had kept her awake. She didn’t know what was to happen to her. She had to get a job and even though she knew she was well qualified and a hard worker, there were plenty of people who had her qualification. As the music filled her room, she felt a deep sense of calm take control of her. Tired because of the happenings of the day, her eyes slowly began to close. Her last thought before she drifted into a deep slumber was that somehow, she would overcome her hurdles just like her father had taught her.

Arnav paced around his room. He hated not being in control. It was his nature to be controlling and having control over Khushi had felt like having some great power for him. Now that Khushi had raised her voice he felt the core of his being shaken. He hated things to change. His Di’s change had been a big blow to him and now suddenly Khushi was also changing. It was something he didn’t feel like wanting to accept. Just then the soft strains of music hit his ears. He slowly laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. Somehow the music felt to his confused soul as soothing ointment. He decided that somehow, he would sort things with Khushi and things would go back to normal again.

Khushi had always loved Payal’s music. After all, when she had first come to her foster parents’ home, it was Payal’s music that had led her through some scary nightmares. It had been so long since she had heard music and the day’s events had been exhausting to say in the least. As she closed her eyes and let herself immerse in the music, she made up her mind to be the true fighter she always had been.

Anjali gently placed the baby beside her and closed her eyes trying to sleep. The decision to meet Shyam and bring home the baby had been a hard one yet she had done it. Now, in the stillness of the night, her future, the society and the baby’s future came crowding in her mind. As Payal played on, slowly the thoughts left her mind and she felt blissful sleep fill her body. She turned around to say thank you to Payal but not wanting to disturb her and not wanting the music to stop she simply gave her a grateful smile and drifted to sleep.

As Payal heard a gentle snore from Anjali she slowly put down her violin. She had played after a long time and the music was soothing to her. Somehow once she had started playing, she had forgotten her revenge and her troubles. It was just her and her beloved violin. She picked up her violin case and turned around to leave the room when she spotted Aakash standing at the doorway. As her eyes met his, she saw an adoring look of love in it. Then abruptly, he turned away from her and left the room.

****

Author’s Note:

Life throws us challenges that sometimes, we feel we have lost everything, maybe we are too far from what we really want. This is not necessarily true. Khushi and Payal had wandered long from their dreams and passions yet they were not lost. When necessity struck, it was their passions that helped them out. Kalpi and Anjali had wandered long and hard that at one point they had felt lost but the truth was different for deep inside they still had the will to fight on and to live on.

Regarding Khushi’s submission to Arnav, its not actually submission. It’s her lack of confidence. Many women in reality lose confidence living with an abusive person. This actually leads them to be abused even more. In many cases this leads to mental health problems like depression for women. Difficult to believe but still so true. This is the reason women are asked to seek help/counselling even after getting out of the abusive relationship. There are different kinds of women, some like Anjali and Kalpi bold enough to walk away and some like Khushi. Sometimes it takes a dreadful shaking up for such women to regain their confidence.

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