Chapter 21

 

"Why didn't you say no?!" Ayesha asked enraged.

 

It was a peaceful and rather quiet evening in Pune, and yet it wasn't such in the luxurious two-bedroom apartment of Model Colony, where Khushi was found packing for her journey to Delhi tomorrow.

 

"How could I?" she replied, collecting her toiletries. "There are my family!"

 

"Family?!" Ayesha repeated. "What about me?"

 

Khushi rolled her eyes. "What exactly is your problem Ayesh?"

 

"How could you forgive those… those…" There appeared to be no word strong enough to describe Khushi's family.

 

"When you could forgive Laad Governor," Khushi answered. "Then what's wrong in me forgiving them?"

 

"Because Laad Governor, er- I mean Arnav didn't mean to hurt you. It was a misunderstanding!"

 

Khushi stopped and turned around to look at her best friend. "He wronged me more than them."

 

However, when Ayesha was about to argue, she continued, "They didn't know what was going on, but him? He knew everything!"

 

Ayesha let out a frustrated sigh. "Khushi," she said, sitting up higher on the bed. "They didn't even try to stop all the wrongs happening to you. How can you forget everything?"

 

"I didn't forget anything. I am going just for a day. Relationships don't mend in a one night; they take time. So, stop freaking out!"

 

But Ayesha wasn't convinced. Having been her shadow for two years, she felt she was committing a crime by allowing Khushi to go. She heard enough in the past few days to know exactly what kind of people the family was – irresponsible cowards. It was their fault for the loss a poor girl's innocence as much it was Arnav's; if not more.

 

"What do you think looks better?" Khushi asked, picking up two salwaar kameezs – one red, the other blue.

 

"Why are you taking salwaars?"

 

"Because," she replied, looking into the mirror, trying to imagine herself in both. "I want to. Besides, I don't think it's appropriate for them to see me like this!"

 

"Oh please," Ayesha scoffed. "Show them what you really are. Don't pretend to be the same innocent Khushi who listened to everyone!"

 

"But Ayesh-"

 

"No, you are going to wear normal clothes, and not these 'behenji' type ones. And more than that, you are not going to go running into their arms as if this is some reunion. You are going to maintain your class. Remember – you are the Khushi!"

 

Khushi found it almost impossible to not roll her eyes at the advice she was receiving.

 

Not go running into their arms?!, she thought to herself. What is wrong with this girl?! I am seeing them after two years. I can almost see Babuji's happiness, not mention Buaji's and Amma's!

 

 "And you have to be strong," Ayesha continued. "These people are very good at emotional blackmail, and even I am not going to be there with you, so don't come into their words, okay? Try to-"

 

A sudden thought struck Khushi. "Why don't you come with me?" she asked, scolding herself mentally for not coming up with the idea earlier. "That way you can stop freaking out and I will have some moral support!"

 

"Hell no," Ayesha said, shaking her head. "I am not going to that hell!"

 

"Please?" Khushi begged. "It's only for a day! Besides, why do you hate Shantivaan so much anyway? You have never even been there!"

 

"I don't hate the house. I hate the people in it. I don't want to be stuck in a house full of sentimental fools for a whole day."

 

Khushi rolled her eyes. "I come from that house," she said. "Does that mean I am one of them too?"

 

"You used to be," Ayesha said. "But I have trained you well!"

 

Khushi stopped packing and looked at her best friend. "Tell me truthfully," she asked. "Am I over sentimental?"

 

"Of course not," Ayesha said quickly. "You are reasonable. A bit emotional, but it's not harmful at all!"

 

"Then what problem do you have with the rest of them…They are just like me!"

 

"No," Ayesha opposed. "They are a bunch of cowards who can't stand up for themselves. Why do you think Arnav freaks out over his family so much? Because they are practically incapable of taking care of themselves."

 

"Stop supporting that Laad Governor!"

 

"I am not," Ayesha replied truthfully. "I mean, what kind of a person doesn't realize her husband is a cheater? I mean, he is her freaking husband… how is it so hard to not see the truth?!"

 

"If you are talking about Anjaliji," Khushi began, but was cut off by the latter.

 

"Yes! Yes, I am talking about that woman. I agree she has been through a lot, but why is that her younger brother needs to take care of her? Shouldn't it be the other way around? He has been through the same difficult life as her, and yet, why is that he can get by like a normal person and she needs a hundred people doting on her?"

 

Khushi didn't answer.

 

"Because she is weak," Ayesha continued. "She is too weak to face the circumstances. She'd rather sit in her bubble of happiness and let others take the burn of reality."

 

"You can't blame her," Khushi said, feeling there was a need to defend Anjali. "That man was very convincing."

 

"Convincing?" Ayesha repeated, as if Khushi was saying something foreign. "He was her husband! I mean, didn't she realize when he was missing during the nights? Didn't she figure out when despite being a lawyer, no one can be so busy that they don't even come home? And more than that, didn't she notice he didn't love her anymore? Didn't you say yourself he used to hit on you right in front of her?"

 

"But Ayesh, who would think-"

 

"That's my point," Ayesha said, cutting her off. "She should have been the first one to know something was wrong. Not the last!"

 

Khushi gave up. There was no point explaining when Ayesha had made up her mind so strongly. "Fine," she agreed. "Fine, Anjaliji is wrong. But so what? What does that have to do with you?"

 

"I can't bear to be in the same room as her, because I will end up getting mad at her nakhre. I mean, why does she need her brother for everything? I hate people who can't stand on their own two feet!"

 

"She can't," Khushi replied, sadly. "She doesn't have two feet to stand on."

 

"You know what I meant," Ayesha snapped, not at all moved by the comment.

 

Khushi remained silent.

 

Even though she couldn't understand exactly why Ayesha held such a personal grudge against Anjali, she knew it had something to do with the similar fates both of them suffered through. While she, Ayesha didn't have the privilege of having a family to take care of her troubles, she felt Anjali was misusing the one she has, to solve hers. In Ayesha's words, it was just plain unfair!

 

But Khushi also knew, this opinion would change, for there was no one in this world, who Anjali hadn't won over with her innocence. So all she said in return was, "Should I pack your bags?"

 

Ayesha looked at her. "Does my opinion count at all?"

 

"Nope," Khushi answered, with a smile. "And if it makes you feel any better, there is a party in the evening. It will be a nice distraction."

 

Ayesha grumbled incoherently, but agreed all the same.

 

* * *

 

"What is wrong with this traffic?!" Ayesha groaned, as the insane battle of honking continued outside the sanctuary of the BMW she was found in.

 

It was an early Wednesday morning and Ayesha, along with Khushi and Arnav landed in the crowded streets of Delhi only minutes ago. And yet, as soon as the three exited the Airport, they were caught in the midst of what appeared to be a very bad traffic jam.

 

"Welcome to Delhi," Arnav muttered, running his hands through his hair and glancing at the sleeping form of Khushi through the rearview mirror.

 

"She is tired," Ayesha explained, having caught his look. "She didn't sleep the whole night out of nervousness…"

 

Arnav didn't reply.

 

One of the best things about his new found friendship was that there were no questions asked or any answers demanded. He and Ayesha talked if they wanted to and most of the time, he didn't need to ask to know what Khushi's condition was. He got the updates automatically.

 

"I wonder how they are gonna react seeing her," Ayesha continued. "Two years is a long time…"

 

Again, Arnav kept quiet. He knew exactly what was going to happen in Shantivaan today. Relations will be mended, tears would be shed, jokes will be heard… it will be a drama fit for television.

 

"What do you think will go down today?"

 

"Do you carry tissues?" he asked, finally ending his silence.

 

"No… why?"

 

"Because you are going to need them," he replied dryly. "My family expresses their joy, anger and despair through the same thing – tears. And all three of those things are going to be displayed in very high doses today."

 

Ayesha didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that comment. Should she be glad that she wasn't a part of that circus or should she be depressed that she was going to have to witness it all.

 

"I know," Arnav continued, understanding her silence. "Life sucks."

 

"And you grew up with that?" Ayesha asked. "The tears for everything?"

 

"It's not that bad after a while… you get used to it."

 

Ayesha let out a sigh. "And this is exactly why I didn't want her to come!"

 

"And when she didn't agree, you tagged along. You really think they can convince her to stay?"

 

Ayesha looked at Arnav. "I think Khushi can get whatever she wants by just giving me a look. So, I am not stupid enough to believe its not going to work when ten people give her that look."

 

"Well they won't," he answered. "I made them promise not to ask her anything. So, tomorrow this time, she will be in the boutique having coffee with you."

 

Ayesha was surprised to her his direct tone. "You are not mad?"

 

"For what?"

 

"You are not mad that Khushi is not here to stay? That she chose to stay with me over your family?"

 

Arnav laughed. "No Ayesha," he replied. "I am not jealous of you."

 

"I know that! I asked aren't you mad?"

 

And Arnav understood what he was being asked.

 

"The first day I walked into the boutique," he said. "I noticed that you and her didn't need words to talk.  She would look at you and you would understand exactly what she wanted to say. So, when she said no to the contract, you didn't ask her for a reason. You didn't even ask her a single question. At that point I understood exactly why she chose to stay with you instead of coming back.

 

"All her life, no one trusted her as much you do with your eyes closed… when I brought her home as my bride, her parents disowned her. My family stopped speaking to her and even her own sister, for who she gave up everything was angry at her. But not even one person that day thought 'this is Khushi… there must be a reason why she did what she did'."

 

"But I know for a fact," he continued. "That if you were there that day, you would have thought so. Not even for a second, would you leave her side.  So, no. I am not mad… because she picked right. You are good for her… better than all of us put together."

 

Ayesha looked out of the window, a sudden lump in her throat forcing the air out of her lungs. It was a while before she talked again.

 

"What if she never forgives you?" she asked.

 

"She might not…"

 

"And what if she finds another Arnav Singh Raizada?" Ayesha continued, fearfully. "What if she doesn't end up picking you?"

 

Arnav kept his eyes trained on the blocked road in front of him. "Two years is a long time… and if there is anything I learned during it, it is that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if she picks me or not… it doesn't matter if she forgives me or not. Because I picked her already. She can stay with me or without me, but it won't change the fact that I care for her. And even if she finds another man tomorrow, I won't stop caring for her."

 

"So what? You will just spend the rest of your life waiting for her?"

 

"I am not waiting for her… I am just…"

 

Arnav let out a sigh.

 

"When I found that letter she left me," he began. "I felt nothing. I felt empty. I couldn't explain it then – I wasn't sad, I wasn't glad… I just couldn't feel anything. I thought it was maybe indifference, but then as the minutes passed I realized I couldn't breathe. I felt someone was choking me. Then I thought maybe this was grief. And I had no issues with that, because grief was something I was equipped to handle. Slowly even that pain left… and I felt lifeless. I saw no point in getting up in the morning or eating breakfast or going to work… it all seemed useless. I felt even breathing was a burden."

 

Ayesha listened with rapt attention, hanging to each word.

 

"And when I saw her again… the burden was gone. That relief you get when you breathe and your lungs get oxygen… I felt that. And at that point I knew I wasn't grieving for the past two years… because you have to be alive to grieve. And I wasn't."

 

It was quiet in the car, as Ayesha watched Arnav in wonder. The more she learned, the more she was surprised. How could a man live through all that and still be sitting there with her, having a conversation?

 

"So, I am not waiting for her," he finished. "I am just living…"

 

Ayesha nodded. She didn't know how much more she could handle hearing Arnav speak. She almost detested herself for thinking even for a brief while, that he didn't deserve her best friend because the truth was, he was just as frayed as Khushi.

 

"But you knew everything," Arnav said, breaking the silence. "when you invited my company to come see your designs, right?"

 

Ayesha smirked, glad for the change in the conversation. "Of course I knew you were related to Khushi," she replied. "It couldn't be a coincidence that her last name is the same as yours."

 

"So why did you pretend you didn't know me?"

 

"Because I didn't," she replied honestly. "I didn't know she left town because of you. I hardly expected her to keep the last name of the guy who ditched her!"

 

"So you thought I was the good one?"

 

"You don't know how she was like after she left Delhi. She went all numb… like she wouldn't let out what was hurting her. And even though we were pretty close, she never talked about her old life. The max I could get out of her was that she had a contract marriage. So I figured, if she saw someone in her family, she might let it out."

 

"You could not have screwed up more!"

 

Ayesha rolled her eyes. "Shut-up! I know it went wrong, but the wrong plan did the right thing. I don't know if you noticed, but Khushi is different now. She doesn't keep things to herself, she tries to be happy… so I am pretty proud of myself, thank you very much!"

 

"Well on that note," Arnav said, hitting the brakes. "Welcome to Shantivaan!"

 

However, before Ayesha could get a good look at the famous Raizada mansion, her phone rang.

 

"I have to take this!" she said, before hurriedly jumping out of the car.

 

Arnav waited for the door close, before looking up into the rearview mirror.

 

"You can get up now," he said. "I know you are awake."

 

Khushi opened her eyes guiltily as she fiddled with the scarf in her hands. After much debate with Ayesha that morning, she settled for a simple long white skirt with a red blouse as her attire. However, at the moment, the reaction of her family upon seeing her was the last thing on her mind.  

 

Eavesdropping didn't appear to be high on the Arnav's list of forgiveness.

 

"Welcome home," he continued, watching her carefully.

 

When she remained silent with downcast eyes, he decided it was best to get down. Expecting an answer was out of question given the circumstances.

 

"Wait," she called, when he opened the door. "Did you mean everything you said to Ayesha?"

 

Arnav caught her eye over his shoulder and said, "What do you think?"

 

And without waiting for her reply, he got down and closed the door, his answer obvious.

Yes… yes, he meant every word of it…