Chapter 43

"Arnav! Are you listening to me?!"

 

Khushi stared furiously at the man she was hopelessly in love with. It had been a good eleven months since they were together, since he had said those three magical words out loud and yet it felt like eons had passed. She couldn't remember what life had been before him. All she knew was that it wasn't nearly as fine as it was now and that was enough for her to never want to remember it ever again.

 

However, at that particular moment, on a glorious Friday afternoon when she was off from work, Khushi couldn't feel anything but annoyance. It was almost an hour since she arrived and Arnav hadn't even moved an inch from the couch; he was staring dedicatedly at the television, listening for an important announcement she didn't give a damn about.

 

"ARNAV!"

 

He glanced at her -finally!- his eyes dazed. "Hmm?"

 

"Are you going to switch off that stupid TV or should I leave?"

 

He brandished her favorite crooked smile and patted the seat beside him. Slightly elated to see him pay some attention, she sat down. However, to her great disappointment, his eyes flickered back to the news.

 

"You know," she said, letting out a dramatic sigh. "Sometimes I wonder how we ever worked out."

 

"What makes you say that?" His eyes were still trained on the screen ahead.

 

Smirking to herself, Khushi confidently pushed him into the cushions and climbed onto his lap, her back to the TV. Although slightly taken back, Arnav habitually wrapped his arms around her waist, acting as if she weighed fifty pounds, instead of fifty kilos. 

 

"Because," she whispered, her hands stretching out to run through his hair. "You clearly think the stupid news is more important than me."

 

"That would be an unfair assumption seeing how this is the first time I have ever watched anything other than you in your presence."

 

"So you agree that you are ignoring me?"

 

"I never said I stopped watching you while I was watching the news."

 

She grinned. "Very clever Mr. Raizada. But tell me - are you going to keep arguing or are you going to take advantage of the fact that I am literally two inches away from you?"

 

He smirked. "I was trying to be a gentlemen."

 

She enticingly nuzzled him. "Do you really expect me to believe that?" she murmured. "Especially after dinner yesterday?"

 

He paused breathless, failing miserably at ignoring her advances. "Well-"

 

She didn't let him finish. Capturing his lips with hers, she pushed all his unnecessary explanations out of the way. She felt him respond, slowly pulling her closer as his tongue danced against hers. She didn't even know when, but all of sudden his warm hands were underneath her shirt, sliding up her scorching skin.

 

Desire pooled deep in the pit of her stomach. It was strange how need worked; you can't miss it if you don't know it and you can't forget it if you do. Or maybe it wasn't desire at all; maybe this was her body telling him just how much she loved him and his way of returning it.

 

Whatever it was, Khushi wasn't complaining. With his lips skipping along her jaw and his unusually soft hands against her bare skin, all she cared about was he and nothing else.

 

"What?" she asked winded, when he unexpectedly leaned back to gaze at her. "Please don't tell me you have to watch the news again."

 

"Marry me."

 

Silence.

 

It was as if the whole world stopped spinning for an infinitesimal second.

 

"W-what?" Khushi asked, his words reverberating through her ears.

 

"Marry me," Arnav repeated, slower and louder. A strange expression was covering his face.

 

Khushi felt like she was rudely awakened from an enthralling dream. "I- I don't understand," she said, shaking her head.

 

He didn't answer. As she waited for the explanation that was sure to come with such an absurd statement , Arnav's eyes, usually molten in shades of chocolate set firmly on the decision he had made. And that was enough for her to rise, trying to entangle herself from the mess she had willingly marched into.

 

"Khushi," he called, when she turned away from him, intending by all means to walk away.

 

"I don't want to listen to this Ar-"

 

"It's not a joke-"

 

"Then what is it?" she asked, murderously whipping around. "You can't seriously expect me to believe there is deeper meaning behind such a random, baseless and utterly stupid question!"

 

He was surprised. "Stupid? Khushi - I asked you to marr-"

 

"Exactly! Marry you! Do you even know what that means?!"

 

"You think I am saying this just because I have nothing else to say?"

 

"Yes! Yes, I do! Decisions like this are not made in the middle of-"

 

"Decisions like what?"

 

"Decisions like this Arnav! People don't just wake up one day and decide that life is getting boring, so let's gets married! People don't just stop in the middle of making out and say Hey - look at that; we are good at kissing so let's get married!' People don't do that! And if they do, then-then they are crazy! And. I. Am. Not. Crazy."

 

He stared at her, his features slyly turning up into a knowing smile.

 

"Stop looking at me like that!"

 

"Khushi -"

 

"No! Don't Khushi me! You know how I feel about-"

 

Everything suddenly stood still; one minute Arnav was standing in front of her, and in the next, he was digging into his pocket to pull out a small indigo coloured box.

 

"I do," he said, kneeling down on his left leg as though they were amidst a flawless climax in an unrealistically perfect movie. "I know you and I know how you feel. I know you are afraid to lose, I know you are wary of what we have, I know you don't want this to be over. I know."

 

Khushi was dumbstruck, her heart thudding in anticipation.

 

"But that is what I can't ignore Khushi," he continued. "I can't ignore how good it feels being with you, I can't ignore how happy we are and more than anything, I can't ignore the regret I have everyday knowing how much more we could have, but don't because we are too scared to move forward."

 

She looked at the floor, not having the guts to look into his earnest eyes.

 

 "So that's why I am asking - not because I don't believe we will last without the instituation of a marriage holding us together, but because I want to show you the world that you don't think exists; because I want not having to plan how to get a few hours with you every morning; because I want not having to wonder if there is a smile on your face everytime I drive away from your house  and-"

 

He gently opened the box to reveal a beautiful platinum ring with a single solitaire diamond sitting delicately on top.

 

" -more than anything, because I want to know, where ever or how ever I am, that I can always come home to you."

 

Pin drop silence overtook the room. Khushi stood frozen, feeling emptiness like no other creep through her mind. This was it; this was the moment she dreaded about since the day she realized she was in love with him. The moment her mother had indefinitely been caught in once, and was obviously gulliable enough to say yes. Was Shashi's proposal as convincing as Arnav's? Or did her mother not even need one?

 

As the seconds ticked away, the room steadily began to close up around her. She looked at Arnav, waiting for him to give up, almost asking him to walk way; but he did nothing. He kneeled quietly infront of her, without even a sigh on his face for the strain his knees were surely in. It seemed their time together taught him, if not her, many things and one of them, perhaps the biggest, was patience - enough to wait for her and definitely more than she thought anyone could ever have for her.

 

Finally, unable to put up with the ringing silence any longer, Khushi asked in a soft voice, "How long have you been planning this?" True it wasn't the most pressing matter right now, but it was so much more easier to address than any of the other things.

 

A sheepish smile spread across his face. "Is this where you become speechless by my impeccable timing and say yes with tears of joy?  

 

She rolled her eyes and stretched out her hand. Even though he didn't need it, he still grasped it and stood up.

 

"Well?" she said, when he didn't answer and instead simply watched her with hooded eyes.

 

"Ask me what you really want to know," he replied, serious.

 

She shrugged. "There are many things I really want to know Arnav. But needless to say, you will find a way around all of them, because you made up your mind... nothing I say will change that."

 

"No," he interjected. "Everything you say matters. If you say you don't want people to know, then we will go somewhere where no one can find us. If you say you don't want any pomp or flare, then we will walk down to the garden and get it over with. If you say you don't believe in vows and promises, then we will go to court and sign a few pieces of paper. If you say-"

 

"-that I am not a marriage material? Then what? You will leave me and walk away?"

 

A line appeared on his forehead.

 

"It-it's not always sunshine and daisies with me Arnav," she said quietly. "I know what I am. I know how difficult I can be. I can't even tell you how I feel right now. How do you think I will ever be good enough to be your wif-"

 

"No one is marriage material," he interrupted. His hands cupped her face, forcing her eyes to meet his. "Because there is no such thing. Listen to me - I wanted to marry you since the second it dawned to me that living without you is futile. I didn't doubt even for a second, then nor now, whether you were the right one or if we were even compatible together. In fact I bought this ring just minutes before I knocked on your door that day, wanting to apologize for my insensible decisions."

 

Khushi couldn't believe that. He wanted to marry her even before she, herself realized she was in love with him?!

 

"The point is - you have always been more than good enough Khushi. You think you are damaged and unworthy and what not, but the only thing you have proved over and over again is how much you love the people around you. Even a blind man can see that."

 

She blinked, letting his soothing words wash over her.

 

"If you are thinking how I can be so confident," he continued. "Then that's just how I am.  I have grown up knowing what I want. I don't do test runs or trial periods ... I just know. And if you are asking me why, then the answer is simple - I love you. Those three we-"

 

"You don't understand," she cut in, shaking her head. "This is not about us Arnav. It's about me... I-I -"

 

Words failed her. How could she possible explain what was so genuinely wrong with her?

 

"What?" he asked gently. "You don't believe-"

 

She stared deep into the face she loved so much. "I run away," she finally whispered, mustering the little courage she had left. "When things get difficult... I run away."

 

Khushi felt Arnav's fingers slacken against her cheeks. Never in the entire twenty five years of her life had she foreseen a situation where she would be stripped naked of her deepest secrets.

 

"And I can't even imagine putting you in a situation like that," she croaked. "Not when I know how it feels to be left behind."

 

She was so vulnerable, so fragile that it was nothing less than a miracle that she hadn't shattered into a million pieces. Perhaps the only thing holding her together was the tiny shred of hope that Arnav hadn't still fled; that he stood before her, his face impassive.

 

If truth be told, Khushi was very much prepared for this moment to be their last. So many people had left her already that his departure would do nothing but convince her -even more strongly- that she was unfit for any companion, let alone an ideal one like him.

 

Because she was just like him; the man who fathered her. She was ruthlessly ambitions, cunningly calculative and stone-heartedly cold. In short, she was nothing like the woman Arnav deserved.

 

And it was only fair, he knew that.

 

After what felt like an eternity, she felt his fingers gently entwine in hers. "Then I will come find you," he said simply. "Everytime you decide to run, I will come find you."

 

She was struck by his words, feeling as if a blistering ball of fire dropped into the pit of her stomach, awakening her frozen mind with a jolt.

 

"And remind you," he continued, taking courage from her softening expression. "Of this very conversation and all the things you feared."

 

"A-and what if I don't come back?" she whispered.

 

"Then I will come with you."

 

She did not understand. Did he really not care that he was walking into a relationship that she, herself, did not believe will work?!

 

"The point is," he said, catching on to her blank face. "I am not leaving you. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever. And this ring is just to make sure that you don't leave me. It doesn't matter if you don't believe this piece metal is strong enough to do that, because that's not what I am placing my belief on."

 

A line appeared on her forehead.

 

"What I believe in is you Khushi; you had so many chances to run... but you didn't. You stayed, even when no one thought you would, and that's all that really matters to me."

 

She was tongue tied.

 

Maybe this was it. Maybe this was how they were always supposed to end up since the day they met and she had done nothing but delay it by denying what she was seeing in his eyes.

 

He loved her. Truly and completely.

 

More than she imagined anyone could; more that she assumed he could; but most importantly, more than she could ever give back. But she was okay with that, because if he still believed she was the  better person in this relationship despite everything she told him, there was no doubt that she would never even have to think about leaving him.

 

He seemed to have sensed her new found resolve, for he pulled her close, his arms encircling her petite waist, the mischievous smile she loved so much back on his face. "But you know what, I don't think it will come to any of that."

 

She wordlessly asked for an explanation.

 

"Because you like that hopeless job of yours too much to even think about running anywhere."

 

She snorted. Only he could ever say something like that after such a strenuous conversation. "No," she interjected, her lips quivering.

 

He looked at her, curious.

 

"Because you love me."

 

A small smile lit up his face; she had uttered the exact same thing to him once, when they -mutually that is- acknowledged their relationship. "And?" he asked, mirroring their conversation from then.  

 

"And I love you too."

 

For a second, nothing happened, as if she hadn't said what he had been waiting to hear for the past one year.

 

But as her words rippled through the air, her voice seemed to sink in. Arnav's eyes, glistening with a life of its own, widened in astonishment. He wasn't expecting her -not even in the slightest- to admit her feelings out loud. And for the first time in her life, Khushi didn't feel insulted with his surprise. Nothing outweighed the sheer happiness spreading infectiously through his face.

 

"Arna-"

 

He didn't let her talk. "I could give you the world right now!" he gasped, before lifting her of her feet and kissing her like never before. She giggled in exhilaration, feeling like a little girl in his arms. 

 

"Seriously," he continued when she was back on solid ground. "You can't even begin  to understand what you have given me by saying yes!"

 

Regaining her balance, Khushi stepped back. "Did I say yes?"

 

His grin lingered without fail. "Do you honestly think you have a choice now?"

 

She shrugged.

 

"Okay, if not for me, you can at least say yes for the sake of this poor ring. It has been suffocating in this tiny little box for almost a year now."

 

She rolled her eyes in answer and proceeded to take a seat on the sofa.

 

"So," he pressed, when she coolly began to watch the news he had forgotten about. "Can I do the honours?"

 

She bit back a grin threatening to break out on her face. "That depends."  

 

"On...?"

 

"On whether Bhaiyya gives you permission to marry me."

 

Arnav stared, perplexed. "What?"

 

"I know you heard what I said the first time."

 

Khushi had the immense pleasure of watching his infuriatingly handsome smirk whipped clean off his face.  Oh, how sweet revenge was! Their love aside, it was high time he was put on the spot instead of her.

 

"But you don't believe in all these things," he argued, quickly recovering his voice.  

 

"I don't," she agreed. "But Bhaiyya does."

 

Arnav sat down beside her. "Are you actually telling me to ask your brother your hand in marriage?"

 

"Yes."

 

It seemed he needed more time digesting the news, which truth be told, was more than suitable for Khushi, who used the time to relish his discomfort. 

 

"Unbelieveable," he finally muttered, slouching on the cushions. "Why didn't Anjali think of a condition like this?"

 

"Why? So that you can blackmail my brother into agreeing?"

 

"It's called having an advantage."

 

"Yeah, well... it sucks to be you. I guess Anjali doesn't think her brother's opinion is important enough to be asked."

 

He narrowed his eyes in answer.

 

Grinning to herself, Khushi turned back to the TV, almost hearing Arnav's brain working out a way to either convince her presently unhappy brother or get out of the only condition she placed.

 

"My offer is still up in the air you know," he said suddenly, sitting up. "We can run away to Vegas and get married - no pheres, no ceremonies, no relatives. Just you and me."

 

"Oh that offer better be confirmed and not to mention, fulfilled Mr. Raizada," she replied, nonchalant. "Convincing my brother is just to put the ring on. Getting married -for real- is a whole other list of conditions."

 

"And you have no plans whatsoever to make it any easier on me, do you?"

 

"No."

 

Her answer seemed to have pushed his patience, for he swiftly knocked off the TV remote from her hands and smoothly slid her into his lap. "Too bad then. As stubborn as you are, I won't rest until I make you mine. And no, I am not saying that as a poetic notion."

 

"Do you ever say anything that you don't mean?"

 

"No."

 

And that was where their conversation ended for he had other grand plans for their lips. It was a while later, when they were snuggled on the couch lost in thoughts of their own while the sun set gracefully outside, that Khushi had time to really understand the change their relationship underwent in a few short hours.

 

Arnav was ecstatic; that was for sure. He was acting as if he got everything he ever wanted and more.

 

Lavanya would be just as ecstatic too, though of course, she wouldn't be receiving the news until much later that evening.

 

Her brother too would come around. For some reason, she had a strange feeling that both Shyam and Arnav would get along amazingly well; they were much too alike for anything else. Sitting down and having a first real conversation was the only thing standing in their way.

 

As for her, you may ask? Well, Khushi wasn't sure she had words to describe anything her heart was feeling at that particular moment.  

 

And for a change, she was glad she didn't.