Chapter 18 - Aftermath and consequences

For you, Prachi ji!

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‘Did you think I will step up to give my name to another illegitimate child of Arnav’s? Like last time?’

Lavanya stood frozen. Completely still. The bomb was dropped. The one she had so desperately tried to defuse, the one she prayed would never be spoken aloud.

Anjali, who knew the truth, felt her heart break for her nephew once again, the little soul who had never had a chance to breathe more than a day or 2.

Nani and the rest, on the other hand, looked between Dhruv and Khushi, utterly confused and slowly horrified. What was he implying was, if that was true, then there were more skeletons in Arnav, Khushi and Dhruv’s tangled lives than they all knew…

Slowly, Khushi slumped against the wall. Her knees didn’t just weaken; they gave up entirely. The wound that she had never fully recovered from, the whole journey of conceiving that baby with love, to shielding it from everyone’s hatred and taunts, to giving birth to her son and then losing it was the worst part of her life, and she had never fully recovered from it.

But Dhruv, the only person who had always protected her, supported her, helped her during that entire period and later in her grief, hearing him address her baby in such a crude, demeaning way had scraped her wound anew.

Her amma, meanwhile, couldn’t believe her ears. Not for what Dhruv said but for the way he did. For the way he had been speaking since last hour. Yes, he might have been angry, might have found out Khushi’s mistakes, but did that justify assassinating her character like this in front of everyone? Her hands flew to her mouth, shock and hurt flashing across her face as she stared at the boy she once trusted implicitly.

Khushi’s father too felt angry, which he rarely ever felt. The man he had thought was selflessly loving Khushi, was never in love with her. If he was, he wouldn’t insult her with her weak points like this, in front of all.

But the world had stopped spinning for one man. Completely. His heartbeat thudded so loudly he could barely hear anything else. Hearing Dhruv talk about ‘another’ child of his.

So far, he knew Khushi had one son and had lost it. But he had assumed it was her and Dhruv’s child. But he had totally forgotten the intimacy Khushi shared with him before their engagement… The memory hit him like a punch to the chest, leaving him breathless.

And he needed to ask the one person who would not lie about this. He stepped towards her. “Khushi, what is Dhruv saying? Were you… were you pregnant? With my child?”

There was a pindrop silence in the hall, everyone waiting for her words for different reasons.

Khushi nodded. Her previous tears had barely dried when Dhruv’s words opened the floodgates again. How silly of her to think Dhruv had selflessly stood for her and her child. The truth was he perhaps always remembered it was not his blood.

On the other hand, Arnav’s heart dropped. Pain shot through him in a way he had never felt before. Khushi was pregnant, she had carried their baby, and he had been unaware. For 5 whole years! His mind filled with guilt, disbelief, heartbreak all at once. The child she had mourned, was his too… “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you hide it from me, Khushi? Hiding about my mother, I understand. But this, this was our baby. Why did you not tell me?”

“I did tell you.” she said, in confusion and annoyance. “I told you everything. I even- even apologized. And I asked you to return, I told you I will have to marry Dhruv. But you never returned, Arnavji.”

“Why are you lying khushi? You never told me anything.” he asked, holding her by her arms, almost pleading without realizing it.

But even then, his mind reminded him, unflinchingly, brutally, that he had been incommunicado for almost a year that time… his phone number no longer working and no one knew where he was. How would she even reach him?

Khushi, on the other hand, was thoroughly confused when Arnav denied knowing about the pregnancy and she could see he really didn’t know until now…but why? She had gotten a read receipt of that email she sent him…then who read it if not Arnav?

And that was when Lavanya knew she had to take him away. NOW. Or else it will be too late. “ASR, we should leave from here. Please. There’s no point talking about past.” she said quickly, trying to take his hand, almost yanking him.

But he dismissed her instantly. “Ek minute Lavanya. I need to know this.” He knew khushi wouldn’t lie, if she said she told him, she would have. But then how and why was the message never delivered to him?

Meanwhile, Lavanya grew extremely scared and irritated, panic rising like bile. “But why you need to know now? Khushi is lying, ASR. If she sent you an email, why would you not reply and return? And when did she mention her marriage with Dhruv? She is lying.”

Her words didn’t break through the haze in Arnav’s mind. But they did register with everyone else. And mainly, Khushi.

“How do you know it was an email, Lavanya ji?” Khushi asked.

And Lavanya froze. Completely froze. Color drained from her face so fast it was visible.

Arnav frowned at first, because his mind was only focused on Khushi and the child he didn’t know he lost. But then the meaning of Lavanya’s slip hit him, hard.

Anjali too frowned. And this time she came forward, asking, “How did you know, Lavanya? All of us are shocked to hear about the pregnancy but you don’t look so. Why?”

And that was when Arnav fully realized what had happened. His jaw stiffened and he looked at Lavanya with eyes that could burn her alive, “What the hell did you do, Lavanya? Did you read that email? And why did I never saw it?”

“Because I deleted it.” she whispered in low voice. Almost absent mindedly.

“What?” Arnav asked, voice dangerously quiet.

“I DELETED IT! OK?”

No one spoke for a second. Khushi, now knowing why Arnav never returned. Because he never knew in the first place.

“Why Lavanya?” Arnav asked, too angry and too shocked to control even a single word.

“BECAUSE YOU NEVER SAW ME, ASR!” She shouted, her façade of maturity that she maintained for 5 years, well, 7 counting the time since she came in Arnav’s life, finally crashing down.

“What?”

“YES! Tumhe main kabhi nazar hi nahi aati thi!” she snapped. “How many years we were dating? Huh? How many? You don’t remember right?” she scoffed sharply. “Don’t worry. I never expected you to. You have never remembered anything about me, whether it was small or as big as this. But for her… for Khushi, you’d remember every single thing. I will tell you, ASR. We dated for 2 years! 2 f*cking long years and yet you never even mentioned marriage! In fact, you’d behave like I asked for your life if I ever even mentioned marriage. If someone teased us about it, if someone asked us about it, you’d stiffen, you’d react as if that was the worst thing someone could ask you!” she said, angry tears flowing through her eyes, “But her!” she said, looking at Khushi angrily, “you knew her for what? 3 months? And you were already proposing her, getting engaged to her? Why? How was I supposed to take all that insult, ASR?”

“So, you decided to spoil our lives?” Khushi asked, this time.

“Oh no! I didn’t. You and ASR had already done it yourself. I only gave a small nudge. First, planting doubt about you and Dhruv. And then, deleting that stupid email about your stupid pregnancy. I thought you’d get rid of it.” she said coldly, almost proudly.

And a tight slap resounded on her face. It was Arnav. He was taught to never raise hand on a woman. But this person was not suitable to be called a human, let alone a woman!

“I don’t even want to see your face ever again, Lavanya! GET OUT!” Arnav roared, making her flinch.

And that was when Dhruv, who had been watching silently until now, clapped his hands, slow and mocking, and came forward. “Wow! What a show! So, heart-touching! Poor Arnav and poor Khushi. So many people tried to create problems for them. But look, they still managed to come together. Well, this could have happened much earlier too. When Arnav returned after that 1 year of exile!” he scoffed.

And as Khushi and others stared sharply at him, he smiled at Khushi, sickeningly. “Oh yeah! Arnav had returned. Almost a year later. Looking for you, Khushi. But sadly, he met me first. And like a good new husband, I did what I should have. I protected my marriage. I told him you had always loved me. What was I to do? If I had told him, you had recently lost a child that was his, this sad little show would have happened back then, and you would have run back in his arms. I couldn’t let that happen, could I?”

Khushi felt her stomach twist in pure disgust at the thought of how deeply she had been manipulated. Arnav, meanwhile, felt pieces of the past fit together with horrifying clarity of everything he hadn’t known, everything that was stolen from him.

And around them, everyone stood too stunned, too drained, too shattered to react, to even speak.

It was Dhruv who passed out first, slumping on the sofa. The effect of booze taking over him.

And one by one everyone else left from there, knowing a long sleepless night awaited them.

--*--

Dhruv woke up with a heavy headache. Out of habit he called out to Khushi. But when she didn’t answer, he frowned, and then his eyes fell on a tall glass of what looked like lemon water. It took him a few minutes to remember where he was and why he had a headache and had woken up on the sofa.

The horrible nightmare that was yesterday. How happy he was in the morning when he declared about their honeymoon on the breakfast table. And how he had held her hand in front of all, kissing even. Yes, Khushi had looked uncomfortable, but he convinced himself it was because she was not used to his PDA. Moreover, it was good for her to get used to it now. It had been 5 years, enough time for her to get used to it and then if there were any leftover feelings she had for Arnav, this would give her the needed last push to forget it. His own insecurities before they left for Delhi had been somewhere in his mind anyway.

And then, seeing Arnav’s expression when he declared both the honeymoon, as well as baby, it was again, much needed reality check he needed Arnav to get. Yes, he had never done so before, never let his control slip, but he felt it was high time he told Arnav that Khushi was taken now and he too better focus on his own upcoming nuptial.

But what did he know. His wife and his stepbrother had gone behind him and already given fruition to their feelings that he was only trying to eliminate…

He lifted the glass of lemonade and started drinking, he felt his chest burn remembering that scene.

It took a few more sips, a few more heavy breaths, until his mind reminded what had happened later… how he had felt extremely angry. How he spent hours thinking and fighting most horrible thoughts he was getting, ranging from horrible ones like harming Arnav, slapping Khushi, harming his own self, to milder ones like going to police, going to media, and so on.

And then it was around evening, when he went to Hardrock. He sat at the bar nursing his drink, when his eyes fell on a girl. She had been smiling at him. Any other day, he would have ignored her. But today he didn’t. He held her eye, let his eyes notice her striking beauty, her slender figure, her perfectly rounded curves… and before he realized, he had led her to a suite he knew was booked for Raizada family permanently in one of the nearby five stars.

He ran his hand through his hair remembering what he had done! God, what he had done.

He cheated on Khushi. He slept with someone else! The realization punched the air out of him.

And then he remembered the tamasha, the absolute spectacle of his life, of their marriage he created after coming home.

He had revealed his deepest darkest thoughts that he never let anyone know all these years. Right from the childhood, about all those times he felt angry or uncomfortable with Arnav’s feelings towards him and his mother, about all those times he pushed away those thoughts thinking he had to be grateful for them giving him a roof, a respectable life and a future than throwing him to an orphanage! And mostly, his feeling of superiority to Khushi, marrying her when she was to be an unwed mother! Gosh, that was not true! At least not the bigger truth!

The biggest truth was he loved her! He loved Khushi. That was why he married her.

But perhaps all those other thoughts, the smaller, uglier parts of his truth that he had managed to keep buried in the bottom of his mind, came up with vengeance last night…

And he ruined everything. His relationships, his image, his bonds with Nani, Di, whom he respected a lot and mainly his marriage. He remembered how even her parents had seen it and heard it all.

NO! He can’t let things end between them. Never.

And thus, he quickly jumped up and rushed to the guest room, took a shower as fast as he could and dashed out in search of Khushi.

.

.

Shashi and Garima had traveled within the same night and reached Delhi early in the morning. Everyone was gathered in Nani’s room currently. No one had slept a wink, everyone’s faces long, drawn and eyes looked tired.

However, the center of it all was Khushi. And to everyone’s surprise, there was calm, peace on her face. The kind of peace that one gets after long penance, or visiting serene places, holy places, even after meditation. Her eyes were swollen but unlike others, there was no tiredness in them. They were just clear and certain. Because that was exactly how she felt.

Hours of thinking had stripped her down to the truth. Not only yesterday’s chaos, but 5 years’ worth of choices, silences, and compromises. She saw how others had twisted situations around her, and more painfully, how she herself had kept walking into fire in the name of love, duty, kindness and respect.

But in that, she had spent years abandoning her own heart. First, she silenced her pain for Arnav’s sake. Then she had let her parents decide her fate. She followed society even when it crushed her. She shaped herself into whatever Dhruv needed, hoping it would make life bearable. And through it all she carried a baggage she never acknowledged… a mix of grief, guilt, pressure and loneliness that kept searching outlet.

And what had all of it given her? Nothing but ruins. Nothing but broken relationships. And the cruel truth was that even the people she tried to protect had fallen apart anyway. Yes, she wasn’t to blame for that, after all, they had all made their own choices, just as she had, and all of them were now paying their own prices.

But she knew one thing with absolute clarity. She would not live like that anymore. Not for duty, nor for love.

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A/N – The next chapter, titled ‘Closure’, will be the finale. And then an epilogue if you all want one. But this chapter pretty much wraps up the most intense peaks of the story, so the finale shouldn’t be as tough (hopefully). In my mind, this story was about Khushi's "Samarpan" (devotion), and she along with Dhruv and Arnav were 3 main leads. Anyway. I’ll save my longer speech for then, but I still want to say thank you to all of you, especially Prachi ji, Chinnulu, Bollybabe, Coderlady, Black_Queen, and Anu for leaving such thoughtful, insightful reviews throughout. You all made this ride meaningful.