Chapter 7

Time stood still for the two people standing in front of each other, desperately seeking the person in each other they once knew as a part of their own heart. The dreams they once shared, the hopes they once had for a shared future. What had it turned out to be? Time had not done them justice, not done their love justice. And now it felt like nothing in this world ever will make sense.

The unfortunate thing was, Arnav didn’t know Khushi was having exact same regrets as him. If only he knew how often she had replayed those lost years too, how often she had wished for a different ending.

For him, it was only him who had paused his life, who was still living in the past. While she had moved on. At least, that’s what he had convinced himself of, because accepting anything else would break him further.

Khushi could only hope what he said right now was not all true. That he and Lavanya ji… that they were not together. Although, yes, it pained her that he would become someone else’s, but that was a fate sealed long ago. By none other than him. As a result, she had already given her hand to someone else, and it was inevitable he too would have to do the same. Who better than Lavanya ji to do it for him? Lavanya knew him so well, clearly had stayed with him all these years, so it would be only better if they officially got together.

“Khushi ji?” a call from a neighbor- a rather nosy one, forced them both to look away from each other.

“Mehmaan aaye hai kya (Are you having guests)?” a middle-aged woman asked, walking near the gate of her own house, which was just next to Khushi’s. She looked at arnav curiously and before Khushi could answer, she continued, “Your parents also came yesterday, na? Is it for your son’s birthday party?” and unaware of the storm her words were stirring between the two people standing there, she continued, “My kids are so excited to receive their invitation. Every year they look forward to Prateek’s birthday party so much…”

Arnav stood absolutely shell shocked. This was like a nightmare inside a nightmare. As if the truth of Khushi being married, to none other than Dhruv, a man he had always disliked since childhood for breaking family, wasn’t enough, now knowing khushi had a son with him was a blow he wasn’t prepared for. He felt something break inside him, his heart refusing to accept what he had just heard.

Khushi, meanwhile, subconsciously clutched her stomach over her saree with one hand and replied, “N-no, Mrs. Sahni, he is Dhruv ji’s friend. He is just leaving.” Khushi said quickly to the neighbor who didn’t look convinced and very much wanted to continue her interrogation.

But luckily, her kids called her from within the house at exact moment and she excused herself going inside, “I will come back in a few minutes, Khushi ji.” she said.

Khushi gave a small, hesitant smile.

And then she looked at Arnav. Perhaps hoping to see any glimpse of regret, any remorse in his eyes. For turning away from taking responsibility of that tiny life he had created with her, for turning his back on her and their baby all those years back. But all she saw was Arnav standing there, looking at her in daze. Did he not realize anything? Was he not feeling any regret for what he did? She wondered, trying to read his expression.

When he didn’t say anything, she sighed and said, “You need to leave before she comes back or someone else sees you here, Arnavji.”

Arnav’s breath caught somewhere in his throat hearing her say ‘Arnavji’, not Mr. Raizada as she did address him 3 days ago. It took 5 years, 5 long years. He had been yearning to hear her call him Arnavji. And she chose this cruel moment to do so. When he couldn’t even cherish it.

“I want to meet him.” He said in a voice barely above a whisper.

“What?”

“Your son. Prateek. Can I- I see him?” he asked. He didn’t know why he asked for it, what made him do so. It would have been asking for a knife to be pierced through his heart. Seeing a living reminder of her being someone else’s, proof of her love for Dhruv. How aptly she named her child Prateek, meaning symbol. A symbol of everything HE lost!

Khushi felt a surge of anger in her hearing him say so. What right did he have? What made him think he could demand to see Prateek, a child which was a symbol of HER love, a love that Arnav cruelly ignored, now asking to see that baby? How dare he take Prateek’s name?

“You can’t meet him.” She said, sternly.

Her denial somehow made his resolve harder. And he stepped closer with his voice turning more insistent, “Why not? What are you scared of?”

“I am not scared of anything.” she said through clenched teeth.

“Then why are you not letting me meet him? Or would his father not like him meeting me? Or you’re scared I’d do something to your precious love child?”

That was it. She couldn’t take him insult her baby any further, “Stop it! Stop it, Arnavji. Please leave from here.”

“I won’t go without meeting Prateek.” He said, folding his hands, stubbornly, making it clear he won’t leave unless she did what he asked.

And that broke the dam of her patience. “You can’t meet him! No one can. Because he is no more! Suna aap ne (did you hear), my child is not in this world! He didn’t survive beyond a day…” she said, and broke down, the words tearing out of her as if her heart had reopened its oldest wound. How was she going to explain everything suddenly now? How was she going to share how she celebrated their child’s birthdays every year, as if he were alive? How she desperately clung to his memories and sought his happiness with other kids his age?

Arnav felt the breath being knocked out of his body. He had not at all expected her to say that. Strangely, that loss had felt more personal despite him knowing that child just for a few minutes. Why was he feeling so heartbroken hearing that she had lost her child? Why? This was beyond his comprehension.

He took a step forward intending to hold her as she was crying, but she turned her back and whispered, “Please, Arnavji. Please, leave.”

And he didn’t stay there for a minute longer.

--*--

Anjali knew Lavanya was not happy for the past few days. Past few years if she were being honest. She understood Lavanya must have her own hopes consistently up and down regarding her future with Arnav. It was not easy waiting for someone for long.

She had known Lavanya for 7 years now. First 2 years when Lavanya was dating Arnav and then last 5 years when she stayed in Arnav’s life as his friend. And Anjali had always liked Lavanya for Chote. A mature, patient woman, exactly someone Arnav would need. However, it seemed Arnav had never seen marriage with her.

And thus, when he broke off with Lavanya and soon declared he was intending to marry Khushi, Anjali was upset.

It had taken him 2 years to know Lavanya and yet he had never proposed marriage with her, while he knew this Khushi for what, 2 months and he was already saying he wanted to marry her? Besides, whatever little Anjali had known khushi from her visits to office or Khushi’s visits to their home on Arnav’s invitations, Anjali saw how childish, impractical, and dreamy khushi was. Anjali didn’t think she would be able to manage arnav’s lifestyle, bear with his temper and mainly handle the past he had.

And thus, Anjali had tried to dissuade Arnav from marrying Khushi.

And finally when khushi came to her with proof of a secret they had all kept from Arnav, Anjali made khushi promise she would never tell Arnav that.

And that innocent girl whom Anjali had dismissed as unfit for her brother, that impractical girl, Khushi did keep that promise made to Anjali. Even at the cost of sacrificing her relationship with arnav. And it was finally then that Anjali realized Khushi, in fact, might have been a perfect choice for Arnav. Her childlike innocence could have been her strength.

But it was too late then. After that public breakup of Arnav and khushi, Arnav had gone missing, and Anjali didn’t think of anything else until he came back. By the time he did come back, Khushi and Dhruv had been married. And no matter how remorseful Anjali felt now, Arnav could never get khushi back, never get happiness back.

In fact, Arnav had never managed to move on from his past.

And somehow, Anjali knew she too was a reason behind the debacle of her brother’s life.

But now that it was all done, she only hoped he would get closure on his past and move on in his life too. Hopefully with Lavanya.

And as for the secret that she had guarded all her life, the same secret Dhruv had carried, the secret Raizada family had buried, and now khushi too had kept, that truth was best left untouched. Too many relationships had already been sacrificed over it. Too many hearts were already broken due to it. Bringing it to light now would only destroy what little was left standing.

The secret that would break arnav completely. Break his confidence, his pride, mainly make his faith in their mother die a bitter death. The truth that would question his every principle, his sanity even.

And that truth was that it was not Dhruv who was an illegitimate child, but he and Anjali were. That Dhruv’s mother was not the other woman; Arnav and Anjali’s mother was… Arvind Malik had already been married to Radhika Sehgal before he was forced to marry Ratna, and she knew this all along, yet refused to leave him…

Ratna had confessed all this in a letter that was a part of the diary their Nani had given Arnav after many years of keeping it hidden from him. The same diary Arnav was supposed to read on the very day he met Khushi… and that letter had slipped out, mixing with Khushi’s documents. Unfortunately, Khushi came to Anjali when she found that letter in her file, many weeks after that day. And Anjali made her promise to never share it with Arnav.

--*--

Arnav parked his car in front of the lobby of Marriott where he and his family had been staying for the duration of the fashion week. All through his drive back, he had been restless. Banging his hand on the steering wheel, narrowly escaping hitting vehicles ahead, cursing under his breath. He was a picture of despair. And his heart was crying for Khushi and her loss.

How he wished he could take away all her sorrows. How he wished he could restore her happiness. How he wished her child wasn’t snatched away from her.

For all the hatred and indifference, he claimed to have for her, it was strange, painfully strange, that her suffering had caused him grief.

Especially after the kind of betrayal he believed he had received from her. On the same day as their engagement.

.

Flashback, 5 years ago:

Arnav had been desperately waiting for Khushi’s arrival as the guests had already started coming. But she wasn’t there yet. He had tried calling her phone too, but she hadn’t picked up either. And then there was the sudden absence of his brother (stepbrother, actually) for some time as well.

Arnav never liked Khushi’s friendship with Dhruv. In fact, he never liked them in the same frame. He knew khushi had been friendly with Dhruv since her first day at the office, and he used to feel an insane level of jealousy seeing them together.

And now that Dhruv was back from his 3-month long trip, Arnav's old jealousy reared its head again. To make matters worse, his own sister openly expressed her doubts about Khushi.

Lost in these thoughts, he was searching for Khushi, when he bumped into Lavanya. She had handled their breakup and his engagement to khushi surprisingly well and he admired her for that.

And it was she who told him she had seen Khushi arrive already, and that Dhruv had taken her to the terrace of their house.

Arnav had become irritated, confused, and stormed off to look for her, only to stumble upon the most shocking scene.

Khushi… crying in Dhruv’s arms!

-

“We should tell him, Dhruv. He has a right to know.” Khushi said, amidst her tears.

Dhruv wiped her cheeks gently and said, “No, Khushi! We cannot let Arnav know. You know right, he won’t be able to handle it. It is best if we hide this from him.”

“But I feel so guilty, Dhruv.” Khushi whispered, her voice trembling.

“I know. But you don’t have to worry about anything, I will ensure he never knows. I’m with you, don’t worry.”

Khushi had nodded, her face pale with worry. Dhruv had again pulled her into a hug, as if trying to calm her trembling, to shield her from the consequences of a truth that was shameful, like a forbidden thing.

.

Still, Arnav of course, didn’t still believe the worst of them and had barged in there, taking her hand and asking her what she was doing there with Dhruv? And what were they hiding? But she chose to stay mum. Even when he had accused her of betraying him, she had stayed mum. And finally, when Lavanya pointed out that why were she and Dhruv alone like that, she had reacted, telling her to not blame Dhruv for anything. Seeing her try to shield Dhruv had made Arnav further angry and he had asked her to leave. And she in fact, did leave…

He had to thank Lavanya for helping him see the truth that day. Otherwise, he would have lived like a fool, still loving Khushi, still calling Dhruv his brother.

End of flashback

.

That scene flashed before Arnav’s eyes now, as clearly as if it had just happened, while he walked through the parking lot, went near the elevator and pressed the key for his floor.

He had barely reached his floor and was about to unlock his room when Lavanya’s voice made him stop.

“ASR…”

He hadn’t even noticed her standing there. Well, when had he ever noticed her?

His brain also reminded him that despite the way he had dismissed her earlier, she still chose to look out for him..

“Lavanya… tum yahan?” he asked tiredly.

She let out a small, humorless laugh. “Of course I’m here. Where else would I go? I’m staying in the room right opposite yours, remember? But you wouldn’t notice even if I shifted to another continent.”

Arnav looked away, guilt flickering across his face.

Lavanya took a small step forward. “I just want you to know why I followed you…you left from there suddenly. So, Anjali Di was worried and I- I was worried too.”

Arnav stiffened.

He heard her take a deep breath and ask, as if having debated whether to do so or not, “Why are you doing this to yourself, ASR? Why are you letting her affect you like this… again? Is she really still that important?”

Arnav closed his eyes, not knowing what to say.

Lavanya gave a broken smile. “You know, for years I kept telling myself that someday… someday you’ll let go of her. It's funny how it didn’t take you even 5 weeks to move on from me when you started dating her. But now… it has been 5 years since she left your life, and you still haven’t been able to move on from Khushi.”

The words were too sharp, too truthful for him to ignore any longer. What she said was true, he had been holding on to his past, his heartbreak for too long.

He opened his eyes to say something to her, maybe to tell her he will try to do better. But as he watched Lavanya’s tear-stricken face, he felt extremely guilty for doing that to her.

Perhaps he indeed had been looking for love at the wrong place all this time, all these years.

Perhaps it was always supposed to be him and Lavanya.

And thus, determined to set things right for this woman as well as his own self, he suddenly found himself ask,

“Will you marry me, Lavanya?”

--*--

A/N – There you go. You know major part of the truth now. You may want to revisit the chapter when they first met (chapter 4), it mentions about this letter. And I know now you ask why arnav didn’t know it was his child? You’ll know it soon, along with why they broke off. Stay tuned and thanks for all wonderful reviews.