Chapter 32

Tears were running down her cheeks as she carried on her narration. "She used to stay six months in London with me and remaining six months in India. I used to long for those six months. My birthday's started with her wishes and ends with her. i won't leave her side on my birthday because being with her made me special. Three years back, she couldn't make it to my birthday and didn't even wish me at 12."

"Being such a mom-obsessed girl, i didn't even let buaji and my friends to wish me until i heard my mom's wishes. Buaji became so furious on me. But i couldn't do anything. i wanted only my mom to wish me first because that time I was sure that no one loved me in the way she did. And still i am sure of it." She emphasised on the last line looking at Arnav who simply stared back at her.

"Every time you people said it's my birthday, it reminded me of her. I don't think tomorrow i will be able to celebrate it without her. It's still hurting me, Arnav. I have been trying to forget past and move on but i am failing miserably. Everyday i woke up, i feel loneliness. I still miss her; her love; her warmth; her attention." Kushi shut her eyes thinking about her mom.

She opened her eyes in uncertainty when she heard Arnav murmur something about time. She rolled the eyes to the clock he was looking. It's two minutes to 12; to her birthday. Arnav looked here and there in tension before grabbing her wrist and pulling her out of bed. When she tried to question him, he silenced her saying "shshsh...come with me. We have only two minutes."

Kushi tried to stop him but he acted like man possessed and was dragging her to French windows. "Stop it, Arnav." she yelled freeing herself from his hold. "Kushi, come on. I want to make this birthday special for you. Come..." he said trying to get hold of her wrist but she backed off. "i can't believe that you are doing this after what all i said to you. Why, Arnav?" she asked him in disbelief. "Because you look horrible when you cry!" he commented flatly shocking her.

"If you don't believe me, then look at yourself." He made her to face dresser mirror, him standing behind her. He hugged her from back, his arms wounded around her pregnant belly. Even before she could protest, he started to speak. "Do you think your mother will be happy, if she sees you in this condition on your special day? She has not left you, Kushi. She is here, now and will always be around you because she cannot leave you, Kushi. She loves you more than anything!"

Kushi leaned back on his chest placing her hands above his and closed her eyes as he continued talking. "No matter how much we try, we can't change our past Kushi. But our present and future is in our hands. Don't ever forget that." Kushi understood what he was trying to say. She too desperately wanted to move on but she couldn't. She felt him to rest his chin on her shoulder and she shut her eyes tightly knowing what was coming.

She didn't want to hear those words from his mouth. But at the same time she didn't have courage to stop him. She loves him and how can she hurt him that too when he was trying to make her happy. She clenched her eyelids more as his voice reached her eardrums. "happy...birthday...maa." she opened her eyes in astonishment. She questioned him with her eyes about what he was doing when their eyes met through mirror.

"Every woman wants to get wished by the person who loves them the most. So i was thinking who loves you more than your mother. Then only it struck me, who can love you more than our child; your child." She looked at his reflection on the mirror in disbelief. "Actually, our child wanted to wish you first, so she asked me to convey it. Next year, she herself will wish you directly. You know, she loves you more than anything and will always keep you happy. And i will be there in every step of her life to make sure that she keeps her mother happy."

She stared at him completely stunned with the way he indirectly promised her that he will always be there to ensure her happiness just like he did now. Kushi might have not felt pleased if he had just wished her because it would have reminded her of her mother. But talking about their unborn and shocking her, he completely made her to forget about her mother.

"Close your eyes and imagine our child wishing you." He said with glint in his eyes. But she smiled through her eyes letting him know that his purpose has been already achieved. Still he was not satisfied; he wanted to see her real smile and so pouted "Kushi, you are spoiling the moment! Close your eyes! Haven't you watched your soaps properly? Do you know how well female leads act in these scenes as if they could feel everything even though it was just a pillow."

"Oh no...Please don't tell me that you watch all those soaps only to drool over handsome male leads?" Arnav exclaimed in serious tone making Kushi to chuckle. "And finally my weeping queen smiled." Arnav announced loudly before saying "sometimes i feel like you love those soaps more than me. i tried all my antics to make you smile; nothing worked. But one word about your serial and you smile, not fair." He kissed her cheeks making her to smile more.

He once again asked her to close her eyes and this time she obeyed him without any delay. Arnav looked at the mirror admiring his wife's contented smile and closed his eyes before whispering "happy birthday maa..." They both shot opened their eyes in unison and stared at their reflection on mirror in completely traumatized.

Arnav was the first one to recover from shock. "Did...did..." he stopped taking in sharp breath. "Did the baby just kick?" he asked looking at kushi's face. He removed his hand from her waist to close his wide open mouth and moved back as realisation began to sink inside him. "Oh my god, she just kicked...kushi, she just kicked." He cried out hugging her once again from back.

His grandmother has always told him that babies in womb can hear them but he never took it seriously. This is not the first time their baby had kicked but this is the first time he felt it. He hugged Kushi more tightly and kissed her cheek in happiness. However kushi didn't react to him. She was too numb to react anything. Tears had already formed in her eyes.

She was breathing through her mouth and slowly she rolled her eyes downwards to her belly. Her grip around it got tightened. This is not the first time she had felt her baby kick. But this was something very special. She felt like it was acknowledgment of her motherhood from her child itself. Her tears found its way down her cheek in glee.

Her longing to see her child and to hold her child in her hand tripled in no time. She didn't know how she is going to wait for that day. Two months seemed to be really long. She smiled when she heard Arnav talking to their unborn. "You love your mom very much, don't you?" he waited for a minute for the baby to kick but as it never happened, he explained "i think the baby is sleeping. She really loves you a lot, kushi."

Kushi turned sideways to see his face and pecking him on his cheeks, she said "and she loves you too..." Arnav asked raising his eyebrow "oh really!" Kushi nodded with smile and gave him another kiss on his cheeks. "She loves you a lot. She asked me to convey it to you." Arnav smiled and then looking down he kissed the air saying "papa too loves you baby."

They both jerked in delight as they felt another kick. This time arnav's hand was on top of Kushi. "OMG, she is damn sweet. I am already in love with her. Just can't wait for the day to hold her in my arms. I think these two months is going to be longest two months of my life." Kushi looked at him in awe wondering how he had just voiced out her thoughts.

He rested his chin on her shoulder again and closed his eyes while their hands remained intertwined around their baby. She leaned back on him experiencing and enjoying the completeness she felt in her husband's embrace along with her child. They both stood there for eternity lost in their small world.

"Kushi? Kushi?" Kushi flinched as Arnav's low voice disturbed her trance. She got irritated as he is spoiling their moment which she wants to cherish till her last breath. "Hmmm..." she replied without opening her eyes fearing that the moment might get lost if she opens it. "Now that your baby has wished you first," he passed making Kushi curious and then asked "can I wish you too?"

Kushi's eyes shot open and she looked at mirror in disbelief. He had his eyes closed like he was praying. Kushi arched her neck sideways. He opened his eyes as he felt her movement and looked into her eyes. Kushi shifted sideways leaning her body more on his right chest, so that she can sees his face clearly. His eyes were filled love and pain. He looked at her expectantly like an innocent child waiting for his mother's approval.

"Few minutes before, I was so confident that you love our child more than your mom. I know you love me but i really don't know what place i hold in your heart. You asked me not to wish you. I can understand your pain. I know it's hurting you badly and that's why you asked me not to wish. But i really want to wish you Kushi. Please let me." his voice was filled with pain and hurt.

Kushi pursed her lips together controlling her tears. She never thought that her words will affect him so much. She just told it in frustration thinking only about her pain. Wondering how suddenly she became fortunate to get a man like Arnav, she lifted her hand nervously and moved it closer to his face to confirm that it was really happening and not imagination.

He closed his eyes when her finger touched his cheeks. As she started to caress his cheeks, he stopped her by placing his hand on hers and brought her hands close to his lips. He kissed her palm and opened to his eyes to meet hers. Love was the only thing he saw in her eyes. He moved closer to her and left a lingering kiss on her forehead while she had her eyes closed memorising the moment.

He cupped her face with his left hand as his other hand was holding her. Wiping her tears away, he said "happy birthday kushi." his voice was filled with anguish. "i wish you to get all the happiness in the world." He said with pained expression thinking about her past. She deserved to be happy and today on her birthday he promised himself again that he will make sure of it.

He captured her lips in between his. They didn't try to dominate other and express or prove their love. There was no need for it because they both were well aware of it. Their kiss was filled with love; only love; no fireworks; no electrifying sensation; no blood curling passion; but just their love. the undying love they ad for eachother. Kushi's hand snaked through his neck to reach his hair and held it tightly as she was melting with his tenderness. Looping his arm around her waist, he turned her completely towards him.

She looked at him as he moved his face little away from her giving her some space to breathe. Her one hand was on his hair and other was clutching his tee shirt just above his heart. "i love you Arnav." she said in firm voice and he gave knowing smile as if he was expecting it. But Kushi felt that those three words were cheap considered to the love which was bubbling inside her for him at that time.

"More than our child..." his smile grew wider. "More than my mom." The smile left his face which turned serious. His eyes got widened hearing her words but with a blink of eyelids, it got softened in understanding and happiness.