Chapter 15
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[MEMBERSONLY]]
CHAPTER 14
"Where did you go?" Flipping a page of the document he was reading, Arnav questioned Kushi even before she stepped inside their room. "Did you ask something?" Kushi questioned back checking her husband from corner of her eyes as she moved to their wardrobe. Closing the file in his hand with a thud, he stood up and said "yes, I asked you where you went."
She halted hearing audacity of his voice. Since they got married he had not even raised his voice to her. She turned her head backwards and gave him a surprised look before answering him in causal tone. "Just some shopping." She swung the number of bags which she was holding in air to support her words.
She turned to her wardrobe and placed the bags inside it when she heard his scornful voice. "Shopping at hospital?" She twirled so that she could face him. He was standing two feet away from her, his eyes seething in anger, his hands shoved inside his pant pocket. "Why didn't you tell me?" His question was answered with another question of hers. "Tell what?"
Kushi jerked back when he removed his hand from his pockets and almost pouncing on her, he shouted "why di..." Kushi closed her eyes spontaneously and then opened it as his voice trailed off. She noticed that his eyes were closed and he was running his hand through his hair controlling his fury. When he opened his eyes anger was gone but it had been replaced by hurt.
"Why didn't you tell me that you had a doctor appointment today?" The way each word came out of his mouth explained his ache. It didn't take her minutes to understand what he was asking indirectly but as she didn't want to come any wrong conclusion, she evenly replied "you were busy. As di was free, I thought I will take her with me."
"And who told you that I am busy?" Arnav asked folding his hands against his chest. "You were busy!" she shot back. Arnav's eyes widen in surprise and he nodded saying "of course i am busy. Otherwise how could have i stayed back at home yesterday just because you said that you wanted to sleep." She gulped and then avoiding his gaze, she moved causally towards their bed and placed her clutch on it while saying
"yesterday, you didn't go for work. So i thought today you will have more work."
She quickly grabbed her hair and tried to make a pony tail but stopped it as soon as her husband started talking. "Let me see if i got it correct. You assumed that i am busy even without asking me and told di that I refused to come with you. Right?" She let her hair flow down in frustration and looked at him. "i did it because i didn't want to disturb your work."
"You are lying." He said looking straight into her eyes. She shook her head and replied in with firm 'no'. "Then, in morning when i asked you whether i should stay back or not, why didn't you tell me about appointment." He questioned her, his anger once again consuming him. "i said i didn't want to disturb your work. Why are you questioning me like i have committed a crime? Why should i lie to you?"
"Because you didn't want me to come. Because you don't like it when i get close to our child. You want me to stay away from our child, don't you?" he yelled at top of his voice. They both stared into each other's eyes for few minutes and then Kushi started to move but got held by her husband. He demanded "answer me." She replied "I don't think i have to answer you."
She turned to leave but Arnav twisted her wrist making her to spin and pinned her hand behind her back making her body to mash on his. "You have to answer me, damn it. I am your husband." She didn't try to free herself as she knew it is of no use. She hissed "husband? Arnav, i think you forgot the way and terms on which we got married. You cannot force me to do anything."
He let her free and stepped back, his face dipped in pained expression. Her heart shrunk with his appearance. She felt too vulnerable to fight against him. She wanted to give up and then cry on his arm. But she couldn't tolerate her inner turmoil. She was neither able to love him nor to hate him. She hated herself for forgiving him too easily. So she stuck to her only life saviour; anger.
"kushi, why are you doing this? You know that i am trying very hard to make this relationship work but you..." his voice was lower than whisper, filled with hurt. "Why are you doing this, kushi?" he asked holding her wrists in both hands. She pushed him back and shouted "because i dont want it to work. I don't want to spend my rest of life with killer of my parents. i hate you, Arnav."
She continued trying hard to control her tears "yes, i am here for my child. But that doesn't give you any rights on my child. Stay away from us." Arnav felt like his dreams were shattered into pieces with her single word. "Stay away!" he exploded repeating her words. "Stay away? Why didn't you ask me to stay away, these nights, when you slept in my arms? Because that time you needed me! Fine. But what about my needs and feelings? Do you even care about what i feel about this or about our child?"
"Did you cared for what i felt when you used me to take revenge on my father? Then why should i?" she retorted. She knew she had hit him where it hurts him most. He nodded "so this is your way of taking revenge. Talking about our child one minute, making me to dream about future and next moment breaking it by asking me to stay away. Okay. I am ready for it. I do deserve this. But you are forgetting that what you are doing is not only going affect our lives but also our child life."
He stormed out of the room not wanting to fight anymore. He stopped when a soft hand held his wrist and he turned to see his sister standing outside his room. Anjali flashed a smile making all his anger to evaporate. He didn't remember the last time when his sister smiled at him. "di." His voice was lower than audible range. Anjali stepped forward and fixed his muddled hair lovingly.
She began to speak. "i tell you, chotey. Husband and wife relationship is the most complicated relationship. It easily doesn't works. And in your case, don't even expect it to work because it is too messy." Anjali rolled her eyes dramatically earning a depressed grin from her brother. She lowered her hand to his cheek and held it gently.
"But if you really want it to work then taking care of her alone won't be enough. Try to understand her and make her to understand you. Love her with all you can and never expect it back."
Arnav stood still as his sister's words began to sink in him. His concentration got distracted when Anjali placed some solid object on his palm. "kushiji left her mobile in car. Give it back to her." Anjali smiled again and left her brother alone to fight his own battle; fighting a battle is not a new thing to him but what's new is for the first time he fighting this for himself; for his life.
He entered room after an hour and in an instant a smile adorned his face. She was sitting on the bed in the same way he had guessed before entering the room. She had her back resting on head board, her legs stretched along the bed and her eyes fixed to her fingers which were making different patterns. He sat next to her silently. She didn't bother to flinch or look up sensing his movements but concentrated on her fingers.
"Kushi." her fingers stopped their movements for a second and then continued it. "i am sorry. Sorry for yelling at you. Sorry for breaking the promise I made to you when we got married. Here after i won't stand against any of your decisions..." He paused as his words failed to gain any reaction from her. He apologized to her once again.
Kushi's felt herself go weak with every sorry her husband uttered. She felt better when he is angry and shouted at her but this soft side of him made her feel vulnerable. She hated every single thing that is making her to fall for him again; every single thing that is reducing the distances between them; she hated this Arnav. Even now she is supposed to angry on him but instead she is worrying about him.
Arnav gently held her hand and said sorry. She pulled her hand back and replied dryly "you don't have to be sorry, Arnav. I am used to this." he lifted her chin making her to look at his regret filled eyes. "i am sorry, kushi. i was really hurt when you said to stay away. I am really sorry." A tear rolled down his cheek while she bit her lower lip controlling the sob which was bubbling inside her.
"Sorry Kushi..." his two words stuffed with ache were enough to unwind her. She once again broke down in her husband's hand. She cried because she knew that what she said to him earlier was wrong. He is the father of her child and has every right on their child but she couldn't accept it. She cried because even though she wanted to forget the past and start fresh, she was not able to do it.
She pulled away from him after crying her heart out and while wiping her tears with back of her hand she said "sorry." Arnav raised his eyebrows in confusion. She continued "sorry for using you again; sorry for seeking your support again when i felt weak. I know my behaviour is hurting you. I never intended to do it. But the truth is I don't have anyone even to cry on."
Arnav felt a tug in his heart. He immediately looped his arm around her neck and pulled her to him, making her trembling body to crush on his chest. He held her tightly not knowing what else to do. How anyone can hurt an innocent and pure soul like her? No matter how much hard he tries, why he always end up in hurting her?
She is precious doll and he had already broken her into pieces. Only remains were left. But the problem is he didn't have any idea how to mend it again.
***************
Arnav bended down to tie his shoelace but straightened himself when he heard giggling sounds from his garden. Kushi and Anjali were giggling about something, frightening the birds around them. He didn't know which was more pleasant to hear: their giggling sound or bird's chanting. He smiled thinking how he had got used to this birds sound which he thought irritating few days ago.
"chotey, you are still here? I thought you left for jogging." He smiled at his sister as she entered his room and replied "i was leaving..." he looked beyond anjali's shoulders as his gaze got fixed to Kushi who was busy admiring the birds. Anjali followed his gaze and turned to him saying "she is back to normal. I mean she is better than yesterday." Anjali frowned when her brother chuckled.
"kushi and normal? Look at her di. She is talking to the birds!" he exclaimed while his sister hit him on chest playfully before both of them burst into laughter. They both moved towards the door when Anjali asked him "what happened to her yesterday? I mean she was fine while we were returning." She noticed how her brother's face went pale in a second. "She was scared."
"Scared? About what?" Anjali asked in confusion and halted when she realised her brother was not accompanying her anymore. She spotted him standing near door, frozen to his spot. "chotey?" she shook his shoulders. "She was scared that i will take the child away from her." his voice was filled with unbearable amount of anguish.
"What?" Anjali asked in shock.
Arnav nodded, his eyes already moistened. "But chotey you both are married? Why should you take the child away from her?" Anjali enquired him completely perplexed. Arnav is not a person who shares his feeling with others, especially his pain. That's why he still remains a mystery even to his closed ones. But today he felt like he needed to share his pain.
"Di, we got married for child's sake. When we got married, Kushi made it clear that she don't have any intention to live with me. She said she will leave as soon as she delivers the baby. And i agreed to it. I think observing the way i react when it comes to our child, she might have got scared thinking that i might claim the child after six months which i really don't intend to do." He explained in causal tone but Anjali could sense the pain beyond his words.
Anjali gasped taking in some fresh and much needed air as she was over flooded with information. "But this can't be true. She loves you." she thought voiced out her thoughts. Arnav gave her sad grin and moved away. Looking at him move away, Anjali decided to talk with Kushi afterwards. "And di, don't ask her anything about this." he said warningly.
"Only talking can mend problems, chotey." Anjali replied, her voice equally stern as her brother. Arnav shook his head. "It won't help di. Our past is huge. Not only for kushi, even it is difficult for me to forget it and move on. And after what all i have done, it will be totally unfair on my part to ask her to forget the past and start fresh." He reasoned out. "So?" Anjali asked still in state of horror.
"i will let her go." He said then quickly added "if she wants to." Anjali stared at him in disbelief. This cannot be her brother. Her brother does always what he wants and never cared about other's wants. She couldn't believe that love can change someone so much. "What about the child?" she questioned him. He replied "i dont have to worry as far as the child is with her."
"What about you?" Anjali instantly asked him because she knew how much he had emotionally got attached to his unborn child. "Maybe i deserve this." saying so, he stormed out of the place while anjali stood frozen to her place just like kushi who was standing inside their room, her mind reeling around the single sentence her husband uttered.
It will be totally unfair on my part to ask her to forget the past and start fresh.
*************
"I can't believe that he was so small." Kushi exclaimed inspecting the small dress in her hand. Noticing the weird look she got from Anjali, she quickly added "i know everyone must have been small once. But still..." kushi bit the tip of her tongue of her loose talks when Anjali tried suppressing her grin. They were having their usual evening chat when Anjali suddenly said that she will show her something and brought arnav's childhood stuff into their room.
From the feeding bottles he used, the dress he wore and toys with which he played everything was there in front of kushi's eyes. Anjali said "nani considers these things as precious. Sometimes i too have felt that she is very partial towards aarti and me. Of course she has her own reason for it. Then also..." Kushi interrupted her asking "reason?"
"Oh, you don't know that...okay i will tell you the long story in short. In nani's family there was no boy child for four generations. Nani's three sisters gave birth to girl child while nani gave birth to maa. My mother's all cousins had girl child and even i was girl. So when maa was pregnant with chotey, everybody thought it's going to be girl child. But only nani believed it will be a boy. The day chotey was born, she was so happy. She only started to call him chotey."Anjali explained.
"They shared very cute relationship. They both fight like small children and very easily make up. This was the first time nani didn't talk to him for more than ten days." Her voice trailed off but then got excited again "but i am sure she will talk to him day after tomorrow. It is chotey's birthday. For every birthday, nani will make special gheer for him."
Kushi smiled remembering the fact that Anjali told. It is his birthday. For the first time, she is going to be with him. Of course she will make it special for him. Many mending works are pending to be done. As soon as Arnav entered the room, he saw her smiling looking at some photo in her hand. Even though things are not going really very well between them, her single smile makes him to forget everything.
Anjali left the room saying that she will bring black coffee for him. Giving a small smile to Kushi, he moved towards his wardrobe. Good thing about her mood swings is that she easily forgets that she was angry on him yesterday night. He was about to enter the wash room when he heard her voice lower than a whisper. "How will you look like dear? Will you look cute like your papa?"
He turned to see her caressing her belly lovingly while all his childhood photos were scattered around her. He smirked and said "of course she will look cute. After all she is my child." Kushi got up in little surprise and asked "she?!? Why not he?" Arnav moved towards her and made her sit while clarifying her "it is not he because it's going to be a girl child."
He turned and walked towards wash room when she asked "why do you want a girl?" he stopped for a moment and without turning he said "when i said i want a girl? I said it's going to be a girl." Kushi jaws dropped down as he closed the wash room door after getting in. so many thoughts were going on her mind when her phone buzzing sound distracted her.
************
"kushi beti, are you there?" Ram asked through phone. Kushi nodded forgetting the fact she was on phone and she has reply verbally. "How sure are you, uncle?" she asked after few minutes of silence. "Quite sure, Kushi. i talked with all arjun's friend. I can even assure that arjun and aarti had never met." Kushi couldn't believe it as all she remembered was arnav's reaction when she talked about arjun and aarti. There is something for sure between two if not affair or love.
"kushi i got another valuable information while searching for this. You asked me whether shyam's chachu and your father was friends?" Ram asked kushi and she replied in positive. "Well, they are not. But their sons, sandeep jha and arjun were classmates. Actually there were inseparable buddies during college. I somehow missed this information as i concentrating more on their father's profile."
Kushi felt like her head will explode any time soon. This was the link she was searching for. She started to speak "arjun didn't dump aarti! But Sandeep and arjun were friends. Sandeep was arnav's jiju's brother. Sandeep and his father was the one who threw di out of her house. They even killed shyam in the name of accident. In this whole story, arjun and dad never comes into picture. But they were somehow responsible for it. Or else why should Arnav want to take revenge on them. On top of all these, arnav's wants a girl child and i dont know why. I am sure i am going to became mad."
okay...how was it? i wrote the last para seeing that many peoplewere trying to predict my story...i have to say one reader was so close to the past...so i wanted to now what all readers think...
just give it try...i wrote 14 chapter with that FB in mind...let me see how many of you have same way of thining like me😉...
no update until 225+likes and many comments...
ps: iam planning to update on sunday...so hurry up
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