Chapter 12

It was simple, six word clause which can be categorized as grammatically incorrect considering the fact that it had no main clause. But why he is not able come out of those six words? More importantly why he is not able to come out of the soft voice which uttered those six words? He crooked his face to other side in frustration thinking how those six words can have so much effort on him.

It's just a six word, damn it. But why does it make him feel so vulnerable and helpless? Why does it immerse him in ocean of guilt? Why does it force to him to hate himself more? Why does it remind him of the new responsibilities? Why does it stab his heart every time he thinks about it? At the same time, why does it give him so much peace? Why does it make him feel happy and content?

And why on the earth she said those six words? Why?

He knew that it was the moment she had been waiting for. She could have easily walked out of his life making him to crumble and realise the pain she underwent. But why didn't she do it? Knowing her too well, he could say that her decision didn't have any evil intention behind it. Her words were pure and straight from her heart. She said it because she wanted to say it. But why?

Does she still love him? "H**y s**t" he muttered as he turned towards their room. He saw her sleeping in solace and he moved towards their bed, boring her face intently with his eyes, trying to find answers for millions of questions that keep arising in his mind with every passing second.

The way she said those words and the hatred, he saw in her eyes were true. If she hates him that much then why didn't she leave today? Is she staying just for the sake of their unborn? His heart sunk with the idea that she stayed back only for the child and not for him.

What a selfish ba****d he is? He will not love her but still he wants her to love him and not hate him. Like his sister asked, what kind of monster he has turned into. No one can love a monster like him.

He rested his head on head board and closed his eyes thinking what the girl lying next to him has done to him? His whole family has left him today; a family which was the reason for him to live; a family for which he did everything. They had left him. But here he was sitting and worrying about six words she said than fretting about his family.

Because I want to stay here.

Again those six words hit him and he was engulfed by various emotions from hurt, pain, guilt to solace. Today another six words was added to his long list of haunting words, not to mention that all those words were uttered by his own wife. Why does each word coming out from her mouth have so much impact on him? But these six words had so much effect that he felt more and more guilty.

He was sure that even if she had left him, he would have not felt so much pain. Why does unexpected forgiveness gives more pain than expected punishment? May be sometimes forgiveness becomes greatest punishment for one's mistakes. He opened his eyes and then looking at her, he said "you couldn't have punished me in better way!"

Kushi opened her eyes and blinked twice, before opening it completely. She noticed some people standing around her after her eyes got adjusted to the surroundings. She didn't understand what was happening until she spotted one small thing in one of that people's hand. Her baby! Kushi's breath hitched as she remembered where she was.

Her body became numb with overwhelming happiness. But she couldn't understand why everybody looked sad. She extended her arm to touch her baby. But the lady who was holding the baby moved back shaking her head in disapproval. Kushi's eyes widened while her jaws drop down in shock. She tried to talk but her voice didn't come out.

She wanted to say not to take baby away from her as it will cry. Cry! She froze when she realised that the baby is not crying. She watched as lady holding the baby started to walk away from her. Her heart beats got slowed with every step that lady took. She wanted to cry and scream but couldn't do anything.

"Kushi." She heard Arnav's concerned voice and then felt his grip on her wrist. She searched for him on her sides but couldn't see him. Tears flowed out of her eyes as the lady moved further away from her creating huge gap between her and her baby.

"Kushi." she heard him again but she couldn't see him as her eyes were shut. As she tried to open her eyes child started to disappear from her sight.

"Kushi, open your eyes. Kushi." she felt him shaking her body. "Get up, damn it. Open your eyes." She heard him shout in frustrated tone. She wanted to open her eyes but feared that she will lose her child. Then she saw the lady disappearing from sight along with her child.

Kushi jolted up from her bed screaming "no." Her one hand stretched outwards in air while other was held in firm grip. "Kushi, are you okay?" she rolled her eyes to arnav's face and started to speak in disoriented way "Arnav...baby...baby..." she pointed towards door and got more confused when the lady was not there.

Arnav tried to soothe hyper-venting Kushi. He said "relax, kushi. Relax. It's just a night mare." But kushi looked from his face to the door and again did the same. He cupped her face tenderly and again repeated "it's a nightmare Kushi. Relax." She stared at his face for moment digesting the fact it was just a nightmare. She then bit lower lip while tears flowed out of her almond shaped eyes.

"khu..." Arnav didn't complete the word as Kushi plunged herself on him. Her arms looped around his neck while her forehead rested in between his shoulder and neck. She cried loudly making him to go numb. He pulled himself together and started to soothe her back. "It's okay. Relax." He felt her shaking her head against his chest.

"No Arnav. I dreamed like our baby died." She said pulling herself little away from him so that she could see his face. He was little shocked to hear that as he thought she was having nightmare about her mother like she usually does. "It's just nightmare, kushi." he stated. She shook her head lost in deep thoughts, her eyes fixed to ground and her arms still around his neck.

"What if it really happens?" she questioned him not daring to look into his eyes. He withdrew his hand from her waist and holding her chin, he made her to look at him. "kushi, nothing will happen to our child. I will never let it happen." He said promisingly while she just stared back at him. He observed her for a moment before asking "kushi, do you trust me?"

She nodded like a child at the instant he finished his question making his heart to skip a beat. "Good. Then just remember one thing. I will never ever let anything happen to you or to our child. You have my word on that." A lone tear rolled of her eyes and then she hugged him for a second time.

He rubbed her back continuously asking her to stop crying. Once he felt her body relaxing in his arms, he slowly pulled out of her embrace. "Arnav, please stay with me." She said holding his wrist in tight grip. "i am not going anywhere. I am just going to bring water for you." He said in assuring tone but she pleaded "please." He looked at her eyes which was pleading him.

"Okay, come with me. First let's wash your face." He made her to get up and helped her to wash her face. When she finished towelling her face, he gave her glass of water. "Kushi, it's just a nightmare. Try to forget it and sleep. Or else your health will get spoiled." She nodded holding the glass in firmly as if all her life depends on it. He made her to lie down and covered her body with blanket.

"sleep." He whispered in her ears and tried to move away from her when she turned and hugged him tightly. He slipped into the blanket next to her, holding her close to his chest. It has been three days since his sister and grandmother left. He managed most of his work staying at home except couple of meeting which he had to attend. He didn't want her to feel alone. Then also their communication level remained poor with him asking whether she ate or how is she feeling and her replying with single nod.

She was lying half on top of him with her head resting on his chest while his arm securely holding her. He was patting her slowly like he used to do pia. He spoke when he felt wetness on his tee shirt. "Kushi, stop crying and sleep." She nodded against his chest after which silence filled their room.

It's just nightmare. She knew it. But she believed nightmares always try to say something. And her inner instincts had never gone wrong till now. The Day before she met Arnav she had nightmare about getting married. The night, her mom died, she had a nightmare like she was sitting alone and crying with no one around her. She gulped thinking about past.

"Arnav." She spoke after long silence. "yeah." He replied. "Did you really mean what you said?" She raised her head little to see his face while he fixed his gaze on her angelic face. "You said you will never let happen anything to our child."

"And to you." He said tucking her free tresses of hair behind her ears. She lifted herself little high balancing her weight on her hands which was resting on his chest. "Arnav, promise me that you will always stick to your words and take care of our child in best way even if something happens to me." She said in concerned tone which belonged only to loving mothers.

He stopped caressing her cheeks and promised "i promise that i will never let happen anything to you and to our child." "Forget me. Just promise about our child." She said to him while he repeated his sentence again. "i said forget me." She shouted in annoyed tone. "I tried Kushi. But now i don't think i can ever do that." He replied honestly.

She got up the instant she understood what he meant. Adjusting her dress, she looked everywhere expect him while he didn't tear his gaze from her face. Tucking her hair behind her ears, she lied on bed, her back facing him clearly indicating that she doesn't want to continue this conversation.

Kushi entered their room through French window and froze as she noticed Arnav in three piece suit. She was still feeling scared about her nightmare. Yesterday night, she didn't get sleep until she once again hugged him, against her own will and slept in his embrace. She felt secured in his arms like she was with her mother. Like he understood her inner feelings, he stayed back today with her. Even though they didn't utter a word to each other, she felt safe with his presence around her.

Kushi checked the clock which showed 5 pm. He approached her and stopped before her. "Kushi, I have an important work. I will be back in an hour." Saying so, he left even without waiting for her reply.

Exactly one hour after he went, Kushi switched off the television and placed the remote control on the table creating huge noise. She was frustrated not only with him, but also with her. Actually she was more frustrated with herself. She knew that it is her stupidity to think that he will understand her solitude. Last four days was really hell for her. She was grateful that he spent more time at home.

But then when he is not there, she felt like she will go mad. And the other thing is she felt like she will lose her ability to speak very soon. She had hardly spoken anything other than yes or no except last night. Prakash brothers were really irritating, always calling her bhabhiji when she had instructed them not to. For god sake, they all are elder to her but always calling her bhabhji.

Why she decided to stay back when she got golden opportunity to run away?

She patted her pregnant tummy thinking it was the only reason why she stayed back. But deep inside her heart, she also knew that she stayed back for him too. But again it is her foolishness. She didn't want him to feel lonely. But all he is making her to feel is loneliness. She checked time when she heard calling bell. It is almost seven. "One hour." She muttered and went down wondering why he can't stop making false promises.

As soon as she descended the stairs, she was greeted by cheerful voices. "mami..." Kushi gasped as prem and pia almost knocked her down by hugging her hip. She put her arms around them while a smile spread on her face involuntarily. She then looked up from two kids, to notice Anjali and nani smiling at her. "How are you kushiji?" Anjali asked giving a gentle squeeze to kushi's shoulders.

She first hugged Anjali and then moved to nani. She had known them only for ten days but she had really become so close to them and missed them like hell for last four days. "nani." She mumbled hugging the elder women who patted her in response. Her eyes got misted after feeling the warmth.

Then she noticed Arnav standing at the end of living room with a smile on his face as he observed her face intently. She moved back from nani in surprise her eyes still fixed to his. "i missed you nani." She said as nani caressed her cheeks. "You will not miss us anymore." Anjali said giving a pat to kushi's back while kushi's eyes rolled to man standing in corner away from them.

She said a silent thank you with her eyes while he nodded and turned back thinking that the deal, he had with his sister was worth after all, her happiness is one that mattered to him most. She had done lot of things for him and now it was his turn.

She immediately turned her head to his side and noticed him lying next to her. As soon as she turned to his side, he looked at her questioningly making her to return back to her previous position. "He is here. So no worries. Sleep. Sleep kushi." she kept on instructing herself. But the dread she felt made her to check his side every two minutes.

He noticed that she was acting strange and was checking him every two minutes. He snapped open his eyes feeling her heated gaze and looking at her terror stricken face as if she got caught while stealing something, he enquired "what? What happened?" she immediately turned to other side, cursing herself for being caught.

She again felt some movement on the bed and started to feel anxious. She knew that his mere presence will be enough for her to stay strong. But the feeling that he will leave alone in this dark room made her tensed. This time she didn't even have courage to look at his side. 'What if, if he is still there?' it will became awkward for her again like she is checking him out.

But she couldn't sleep without knowing whether he was there to protect her or not. She thought of a plan and shut her eyelids immediately. She was lying on her left side and while pretending to sleep she moved backwards, approaching his side. In this way she could sleep close to him which will make her feel more secure. She moved further backwards but couldn't feel him next to her.

She moved further backward when she heard his voice from somewhere else. She immediately turned to his side, but her back instead of coming into contact with bed surface as she expected, found nothing but air. Even before she could realize she was on edge of bed, she felt herself falling down because of the speed with which she turned.

Arnav tip- toed out of washroom without making noise as he didn't want her to get disturbed. After getting his eyes adjusted to dark room again, he noticed Kushi lying on the edge of the bed as she tried to move further back. He shouted "what are you trying to do?"

His question was late and she turned with such a speed. His eyes widened as he saw her falling from bed. Even before he could run to her, she fell down flat on her back holding her stomach while all he could manage was to say "ku..shi..."

ps: this update is what all i could manage with heavy cold, running nose and continuous sneezing...sorry it was not up to ur expectations...i will make next update more better and interesting...