Chapter 191

Chapter 272: Insatiable

An hour later, Kushi awoke to find her husband's naked form seated cross-legged before the little fire in the cave, his shadowed back turned to her as his fingers idly prodded at the twigs beneath the flames.

She was still wearing his long-sleeved shirt but her long hair had come undone and a considerate hand seemed to have used its dark length as a concealment over her legs.

Tying her hair up in a bun, she crawled to where he sat and leaned against him.

He looked at her from the corner of his eye but did not spare her a direct look.

He didn't dare to, not when she looked so delicious in his shirt, her legs and neck bathed golden in the warm light of the dim fire.

It had been tormenting, lying with her so temptingly close, as she innocently slept, oblivious to his hunger.

Once he had guaranteed that she was not cold, he had taken difficult ventures out of the cave, just so he could put the water, coldness and distance to obstruct his wild desires.

And now, here she was again, brushing her shoulder against his as she sleepily yawned.

"I'm hungry," she mumbled, lifting her head to offer a pleading look in his direction.

Lord Arnav retrieved a wide leaf which he had kept aside, obtained from one of his late excursions out of the cave while she slept, "I knew that would be the first thing you'd greet me with."

Arranged like a delectable pyramid in the heart of the green leaf were lush, red berries glistening appetizingly in the firelight.

Eagerly, Kushi took the leaf, placed it on her lap and began devouring the sweet-sour berries, occasionally wincing when the sourness tinged her tongue, but happily munching away as though it was the best meal the First Lady of Arhasia had ever had. Undoubtedly, desperate hunger does sport it a trick on our minds to believe the first meal that comes our way to be the most delicious ever devoured in one's lifetime.

Lord Arnav realized he had his mouth slightly open while watching Kushi at her late feast. He conveniently shut it and turned to frown at the fire. Closing his eyes, he tried to think of something that could distract him.

"Don't you want any?" Her voice beckoned his eyes open and he looked at her, over his shoulder.

Her lips red with the juice of the wild berries...

He swallowed, "No, I already had my fill."

With a casual shrug, Kushi resumed her repast of berries. It was at that juncture, her eyes fell on his bare back. Gaping, she stared at the smooth skin that was no longer jagged with deep wounds but exposing only faint scars from a memory of horrid gashes.

Kushi was nearly speechless, "How did your back-? Where have the-?"

Lord Arnav smiled decisively at the fire, "I told you they'll heal with time. Nothing that happens to me when I am in my transformed form remnants into my human state."

Interested, Kushi studied his back, her berry-stained fingers testing the scars and grazing over the warm smoothness of his skin. She couldn't believe the possibility of such an occurance but her eyes would not lie. Where once wounds deep and jagged had bled, her was a healed, untarnished skin of ivory...

Her fingers studiously dancing over his back made Lord Arnav flinch. The desires dormant roused and roared in his blood.

He cleared his throat, "You should finish your berries, Kushi."

Resigning her fascination of the miracle, his wife returned to her skimpy meal on the leaf.

"These are really good," remarked the grateful Kushi, plopping another into her mouth.

"Here, try this," she suggested, holding out a fresh, red one.

He looked at her and then at the berry.

Finally, deciding it wouldn't hurt to try, he leaned forward and bit into the berry.

The juice from the perforated berry, slid down her palm and along her arm.

Kushi giggled, "Your fruit-facts are really pathetic, you know. If you must eat tiny fruits, you eat it as whole and not bite into it and make a mess of it!"

"And what if mess was my intention?" asked Lord Arnav, his eyes darkening as he watched he red drop trickling down her pearly arm.

Kushi paled, seeing the wildness in his eyes and fearing the worst, "My lord...?"

Lord Arnav looked at her and read her apprehension.

"I will never hurt you," he assured her softly, "You know that."

Kushi nodded uncertainly and then asked anxiously, "Are you... are you going to change?"

Lord Arnav blinked confusedly, "Change-? What-?" Suddenly, understanding lit on his face and he laughed humorously, "No, I am not going to transform!"

"How can you laugh so?" Kushi felt wounded, "This is a serious thing: your ability to change into an animal, the strangeness in your eyes and-"

"What strangeness?" Lord Arnav sat still, his eyes darkening again.

Kushi's finger had a slight tremble as she indicated it to the upper part of his face, "That- that thing."

Lord Arnav got on his knees, crouching closer to where she sat, "Who said this had anything to do with transforming?"

His face leaned forward, his eyes on her quivering lips. But when his gaze slid up, he noticed her eyes were squeezed shut as though enduring some surmounting pain, as though distasteful of what was to come.

His heart sank on realizing his approach of affection was not welcome anymore, especially after all the cruel things she had witnessed that night.

Wishing to not do anything against her will, he looked away, withdrawing.

Kushi opened her eyes and found him contemplating retreat.

All of a sudden, the reasons unknown to herself, she did a most astonishing thing.

She held his handsome face in her red-wet hands and made him face her, his countenance caught in surprise.

Reaching up, she kissed him lightly on his lips, shattering his chained restraint.

She leaned up, closer to him, and in the attempt, toppled the leaf and the few remaining berries onto the cold, cave floor.

She continued pressing her lips in gentle kisses on his lips, his cheeks, his chin, his nose, his eyes...

Devoured by his own arousal at her repeated gestures of gratitude and fondness, Lord Arnav grabbed her and, clutching her closer to him by her hips, offered to steer her innocent kiss into a thirst driven mad by unsaid feelings.

Once Lord Arnav had taken over her lips, Kushi struggled to find her breath. Her fingers floundered at his hair while her mind battled with a reluctant resistance and a longing to prolong under his labial execution.

Finally, Lord Arnav lifted his ravenous lips off hers, and pressed his forehead upon hers in exhausted surrender.

His voice, affected by the kiss, came out in a whisper, "Kushi... what are you doing to me..."

Kushi smiled, her eyelashes brushing against his, "My lord, you amaze me."

"Do I?" he straightened up, his hands moving from her hips to her shoulders, "How so?"

"I've seen the strongest man in his weakest of moments."

"What do you mean?" His demanding gaze arrested her upturned look on his face, "Are you saying I am weak? Because if you are-"

If the First Lord had expected a sane reaction or response from his wife: he got none.

Circling her arms around his neck, she pulled his head down to hers and kissed upon his lips again, faltering the angry flow of words from his mouth.

He smiled against her lips, pleased with his wife's play until she withdrew her lips and shed light on the subject of their interrupted conversation.

"You are weak by your love," Kushi said, her gaze warm as her hand caressed the side of his face.

Incredulous, Lord Arnav stared at her, reminded instantly of the General's words that echoed the truth on the same wavelength.

Her voice was loving as she elucidated, "But your love gives me the strength to help you find yours again."

The light in his eyes softened on hearing her words and he leaned down, pressing his lips hungrily on hers, tasting the sweet-sour berries on her tongue as he pressed her on the cave floor that had been warmed by the fire.

With the music of the singing waterfall and the crackle of the bonfire's heart to ease the nightly air in the cave, Lord Arnav ventured his kisses deeper into the swirling sensations of his longing.

Kushi's drowning mind faintly registered his firm fingers unbuttoning the shirt on her. She couldn't remember when but she knew she was without clothes, her revealed skin cloaked merely by his burning presence against her.

Donning just her mother's necklace which glistened golden in the firelight, she looked like a beautiful young mermaid, weakened of her powers and stranded on the bank, in hopes that a wandering prince would restore her to her elapsed splendour.

She bit her lower lip, as he roved and ravaged every fibre of her being.

Gasping weakly, intoxicated by his touch, she sank in the passion of his exploration of all that she'd let bare for him to feast upon.

As he ran a trail of his fiery kisses down along her spine, the woman in her roused awake and with it an awareness of a void that had opened up and left her empty and wanting.

"Arnavji," she moaned desperately, her head dizzying in the inexplicable ecstasy.

He kissed along her hips and down her legs, leaving, in the wake of his heated passage a tremor of new-found desires.

"Arnavji," her tenor betrayed a surreptitious assertion for fulfilment.

He looked up, his desirous eyes anxiously reading her face.

His heart weighed with the truth. He had done it at last: he had subdued the innocent girl in her.

Sorrowful of what he had let happen, he stared at her, her eyes glassy and dazed with desire.

Not comprehending why he'd stilled, her hand lifted, beseeching him to approach and proceed.

He swallowed, wishing he could smother his own treacherous cravings.

He could see that she was aroused and yearning.

Crawling to her side, he lay beside her and confronted her confused look.

He shook his head, hoping she would understand.

All of a sudden, her cheeks heated and turned red. The fog disbanded from her mind and tears sprang as she closed her eyes. She curled on her side, her back to him, as new emotions surfaced in her mind. She felt ashamed, wanting to cry.

Warm arms enveloped her and his consoling chest pressed against her trembling back.

"It's alright," he whispered against her ear, his lips placing gentle kisses on her shoulder, "It's alright... I used to feel the same way too..."

"You do?" Kushi looked up at him, and he kissed her on her forehead, "Yes, I do."

Kushi frowned, "You don't look it."

Lord Arnav chuckled, "I suppose it's because I'm so very used to feeling this way, every time I got close to you but could never quite get to the end of it."

"But why didn't we?" Kushi wanted to know, "Why don't we now?"

Lord Arnav sighed, and lay on his back.

How much he longed he could. All he could say was, "Not here, not tonight."

"Then when?" Kushi turned to her side.

He closed his eyes, "When I can be certain you are stronger."

Kushi was quiet so he turned to her and lovingly stroked her cheek, "Kushi, one day, when I can hold myself back no longer, the walls will shatter and I will take you. I only hope you will be strong and willing when the time comes."

"I cannot be unwilling, my lord," said Kushi, her eyes serious as she gazed at her husband, "We may have been married only for four months but we have known each other longer than that."

Lord Arnav looked at her, a pained expression glinting in her eyes as memories of his cruel reign over her rushed at him. Knowing what he was must be thinking of, Kushi kissed upon his stubbled chin and whispered, "I love you, Arnavji..."

Lord Arnav gazed at her, love brimming in his eyes. He could never live without her...

Kushi turned on her back and was thoughtful. For a while, she remained silent, studying the cave ceiling, while her husband lay on his side, admiring the way the crackling fire danced in her curious eyes.

A minute later, she queried, "How would you know if I am not strong enough already?"

Lying on his back, Lord Arnav shook his head adamantly, repeating, "Not here, not tonight."

Kushi frowned, "Is it the place then?"

"Perchance," he said.

Kushi was silent again, so he turned to her, "Besides, I want to do it the right way."

"The right way?" Kushi was puzzled.

"The ritualistic way," he mumbled vaguely.

Kushi's eyebrows rose in wonderment, "You? A man of rituals?"

Lord Arnav rolled his eyes, "What else can I do? I'm helpless because I married the woman who INVENTED rituals!"

This had Kushi laughing, and Lord Arnav's eyes lighted in relief, sensing the innocent child in his wife again. She was not lost after all.

Conciliated, Kushi snuggled closer to her husband and nudged her nose against his chest.

"Kushi?" His warm voice rumbled above her.

"Hmmm?" Kushi responded behind closed eyes.

"Thank you for not further prodding me about what you saw tonight."

Kushi opened her eyes, her lashes brushing lightly on his chest, "I wish you would, though, for I find it hard to contain my fear and my misgivings."

"I cannot venture into my past tonight, not when I am with you the way we are," he confessed, kissing her on the top of her head.

"Will you tell me, then, when the day breaks?" There was a note of earnestness in her words.

"I will tell you the soonest we are safe and feeling cultured, within our chamber at the Castle," promised her husband.

Kushi smiled against his chest and sighed, "I know you will, but I pray this wait won't prolong too long that it kills me."

Lord Arnav chuckled, "Clearly, though, you have not outsmarted me in degrees of bearing patience."

"That is a huge lie and you know it!" From where she lay, Kushi frowned up at him, "No man has so feeble a fuse as my husband and all of Arhasia has had innumerable occasions to witness your pique and temper! Why, once at the Festival, you had even fumed at my dear, kind father for no perceivable reason of sanity!"

At her words, a guilty look came over her husband's features and Kushi regretted mentioning the memory. She was hastily conjuring in her mind a motion by which to pacify him, when he sat up and frowned at the fire, "There is something I must tell you which I cannot keep secret any longer."

The unusual note of abject seriousness in his voice made Kushi sit up worriedly, "What is it?"

He looked at her, "Your father..." He paused, not knowing how he was to tell her.

"What about Babuji?" She was troubled by his tone and his hesitating manner.

"You remember how we found him the night of the Ball, unconscious and-"

"Yes," Kushi interjected, fear gripping at her insides.

"Well, he had not fallen ill or had a stroke like the herbalist said," admitted Lord Arnav sadly.

Kushi turned pale, praying that he wouldn't say he was personally involved in the situation that had led her father to the forlorn state that night. If he had hurt her father-

"It was the General," said Lord Arnav finally.

Inhaling sharply, Kushi stared at him, disabled of thought.

It was with great difficulty that she marshalled the voice to enquire further into the depressing matter.

"What do you mean?" Kushi's eyes filled with pained tears, anger rising in her heart, "What did the General do?"

"Recall how your father seemed to not remember seeing the General ever, and even some of the memories of the Ball Night were removed from his mind?"

Kushi nodded, ragged memories binding her senses again, "Yes, Amma had told me Babuji had visited the camp and seen the General but later Babuji seemed to not remember the happening of such an instance at all..."

"Well, that is what happens if a person, not too familiar or close to a cursed man, sees the man transform."

"Cursed man?" Kushi was stupefied.

Lord Arnav frowned at her, "You don't suppose the General and I have been BLESSED to be Beasts, do you?"

"I wasn't suggesting that," hastily corrected Kushi, and then frowned in thought, "But why are cursed?"

Lord Arnav pursed his lips, as though refusing to speak further and Kushi glared at him, "If you won't tell me what is happening to you, at least assure me of my Babuji's safety."

"He is safe," assured Lord Arnav, "He only had select memories wiped from his mind, those that pertained to the General. But the curse is too strong that every time your father's mind tries to recover the lost memories, he drains him in the strenuous process."

Kushi paled, "Is that why he's always lately ill-"

"Yes," Lord Arnav reached forward and took her hand, "But he will not come to any harm, I promise you that." He pressed her hand, as though to impress upon her the certainty of his words, "Kushi, he is my father as much as he is yours."

Kushi smiled insipidly, grateful indeed, but her mind was too wrapped up in the revelations she was receiving that night. Too many strange realities could not easily believed in at the turn of a single night. And to think her father was, even now, burdened by a curse...

"Kushi?"

Kushi looked at him and saw that he was worried by her silence.

"I wish you'd told me earlier," said Kushi sadly.

"I couldn't," explained her husband, "Not when I wasn't yet able to ensure you were immune."

Kushi blinked at him, "Immune?"

Lord Arnav nodded, a gratified smile lighting on his face, "It is only those who are closest to the beasts who become immune to the powers of other beasts. As of now, only Di and Nani are truly immune in our family, being closest to me from childhood, and perhaps even a little would be the others. Di herself is shielded doubly, being close to me and also to her husband."

Kushi nodded, not certain of trusting these theories, "Can't you at least tell me why the General is cursed?"

The First Lord sighed, "This I cannot say because I know not the answer. Neither he nor I have divulged to each other the contents of our cursed beginnings. It is a mutual allegiance, to keep the origin and causes secret from the other."

Kushi snorted, "How do you know he doesn't know about you? Don't you think Di, who loves her husband dearly and is blind to his every fault, would have confided in him everything that is significant to her life?"

Lord Arnav scowled, "My Di won't go against my wishes."

Kushi rested an understanding hand on her husband's, her serious eyes on his disturbed face, "Arnavji, if she is a good wife, she will have already told the General everything there is to know about you, including the realities of your curse. I know her to love him with all her life and cannot keep anything from him."

Lord Arnav had turned suddenly stiff, refusing to incline his consideration to anything his wife was summoning him to believe.

Kushi sighed, wrapping her arms around her legs that were folded up such that her chin was resting on her knees, "If a time comes when Di should choose between her husband and you... You know who she will choose."

This statement had darkened his visage and he remained stoical and removed in mind from her presence.

Sadness filled her heart as she looked at him, "If something happened, and you had to choose between Di and me..." She paused, wanting not to weigh him with her selfish query. How could she hurt him when he was already hurting within, from pains borne of the past...

She turned to the fire, and sat staring at it, lost in her thoughts. Her life was not so normal and candid as she had believed it to be. Infact, it was the most illogical and most eccentric existence any woman on earth had ever the fate to live! She was living a life that one lived in an unreal world, a dream or perhaps even a book... Never in real life. Never!

"Kushi."

Her husband's voice brought her head turning to him and she was surprised to find that he had moved closer to her, his fingers tenderly moving aside her hair that had obscured a side of her face. He lovingly tucked her hair behind her ear and then stroked her cheek with his thumb, his deep eyes gazing into her dancing dark ones.

"If something happens," he began, his gaze skipping over her nose and her lips, "and I have to choose between Di and you..."

The pain in his eyes revealed to Kushi that he was to advocate her name and, hastily, she pressed her finger to his interrupted lips, "Let the choice make itself and not burden you to pick one."

Lord Arnav gaped at her and Kushi sighed, "If you must choose Di, it will be because there is no one left to choose her." She paused and then said with sincere conviction, "I will never leave you, Arnavji, because I know you will die if you are forced to not choose me..." She watched as he kissed her on the knuckles of her hand, as she continued, "I will not let there be an occasion that obliges you to make a choice between the two women who mean the world to you. Everything you are now is because of the blessed paths of the bygone that cared for you and stood by your every step when you were young... Di is your past, Arnavji. You cannot forget her."

"And you are my future, Kushi," whispered Lord Arnav, "I am fearless because you love me."