Chapter 42

I am not in a position to write much though I so want to thank all those who commented, especially to those who read and commented despite wanting to not read the update. If I had not given the spoiler that the next update was about Shyam, you would probably have read one-third of the chapter, thinking it was Lord Arnav come to see Kushi, and realise it was the General only when he was named. I feared the reaction on that realization would leave a bitter aftermath and so gave that spoiler. But it was a very important chapter and I had expected you to see the depth with which that character was moulded.

I cannot thank anyone individually in this update and you do not know how it angers me that I cannot, because I love my pre-notes and thanking all my commenters as much as I love my updates! Both stem from the depths of my heart………..

But since there are some who are waiting to clear your thoughts of the General's mental colouring, I will tell you this:Each chapter in which the General has appeared must be seen both distinctly and as one. What you see of his attitude to life, to Kushi, to his wife and to his cursed state…………these may appear to be different in different chapters but truthfully they are different shades of his real attitude to these areas, depending on his state of mind and the setting in which he is in a chapter. If I reveal more, the tale will lose its growth in gradual comprehension. But I will tell one more thing: The way Lord Arnav views his curse and the way General Jha views his curse is different because they are men coming from different upbringings and holding different (but almost similar) views to life and love. But despite these differences, they are both NOT satisfied with their cursed state. If the General appeared less struggling towards his condition and if you found his "scaring of the cat" as amusing, it is merely because his mind was comforted with the thought that he was about to meet her and also shows a very positive side of his approach to the beast inside him: acceptance that it is part of him. Oops, I gave away too much already! *zips mouth*

Chapter Ninety Four: The Handmaid and The Heiress

Kushi sat in the garden of the Castle, her gown flourished around her where she sat on the grass, her chin propped upon her knees that were folded before her and her mind caught up in thoughts of home. Her farewell on Monday morning was the hardest, for there was her Babuji and Amma to add pain to the goodbyes this time. She sighed and closed her eyes and remained lost in thoughts, which was why she didn't hear the approach of her mistress.

"There you are!" exclaimed Lady Lavanya, approaching her, and Kushi looked up, "I've been looking all over for you, Kushi. What are you doing here?"

Kushi stood up as Lady Lavanya sat on the bench and appraised her, "Is something troubling my happy handmaid?"

"I'm fine, my lady," smiled Kushi, "How were your days here in my absence?"

Lady Lavanya looked across the late morning sky, "It is strange but I never thought I would actually miss you." She noticed Kushi's confused expression, "It is indeed a new feeling to me, but I have grown so accustomed to having you by my side that I did gravely miss you, Kushi."

Kushi's eyes saw the warmth in her mistress' eyes as she told her of how she had been missed and it was heart-breaking for her young heart.

"My lady," Kushi breathed, her hands clasped, "You are the sweetest mistress a girl could ever have come upon to serve."

Lady Lavanya stood up and came to stand before Kushi, "Kushi, if it is permitted, the last few days without you made me realise that you are more than a handmaid to me."

Kushi didn't know if she would have the strength to hear the rest of it.

"If it is permitted by protocol of this Castle," continued Lady Lavanya, slowly as if it were hard for her to utter the words, "I would love to exempt you from your service as my handmaid and have your continue your residence at this Castle as my friend."

Kushi bit her lower lip and tears streamed down her face. And then before she knew what she was doing, she had stepped forward and pulled her mistress into an embrace.

"My lady," Kushi breathed into her mistress' ear, as Lady Lavnaya's arms reached out to embrace Kushi in return, "I could never be worthy of having a wonderful friend as you. To have found one such heart within the cold walls of this Castle is a thing one could never have dreamed of."

Lady Lavanya's eyes filled too but her tears never fell, "It was the first time in my life I found a trusting listener to whom I could pour out the woes and hurting desires of my heart. I shall remember you to the end of my life for all that you've done for me, Kushi."

Kushi shut her eyes and imprinted this moment in her memory where she would remember it with great sentiment. She had never thought such a day would come when the woman who had accused her and tagged her with unspeakable names would one day thank her for her warm empathy and hold her in an embrace that promised to share in each other's strengths and pains.

They released from the embrace and Kushi wiped her tears and then looked at her mistress, "Forgive me, my lady, but though I do want to be referred to as your friend, you must know that you are an eminent Lady, an Heiress to your father's wealth and I will find it hard to address you by your first name as you do mine."

Lady Lavanya nodded, "I understand, Kushi. You can refer to me what your hearts feels is right."

Kushi smiled gratefully and then asked, "So what shall we do today, my lady?"

"Anything you want, Kushi," said Lady Lavanya, smiling in return and then she remembered something and her smile fell.

Kushi laid a hand on her mistress' shoulder, "What is it, my lady?"

"I've been meaning to tell you," said Lady Lavanya, sinking into the bench and Kushi sat next to her, "I do not know why, but after you'd gone, I felt so lonely, as though I never belonged to this place anymore. After the wonderful talks we indulged in, Lady Manorama's parleys never struck a chord with me anymore. I could never connect with her like the way I used to. I would sit with her and listen to her talking, but unable to share in with a word or two of mine. And the most heart-breaking truth is that the one I came to this place for never wanted to spare time for me. He would always leave the Castle early and busy himself in the Industry and he came very late every night and then remained in his room. Gloomier than me, he was, but once I had confronted him and asked him why he never wanted to spend time with me anymore and he only glared at me and shut himself in his room. "

Lady Lavanya sighed and Kushi caressed her mistress' hair, "Maybe he was worried over work."

"No," said Lady Lavanya, hurt, "he just doesn't care for me anymore." And then she suddenly looked up and stared before her, as if she had realised something, "Of course, I have been a fool. He never loved me. He never had. I thought he did but I suppose my ardent fascination for him blinded me from seeing it. He brought me here merely to satisfy his sister. He had said that once but I had mentally refuted it because I was afraid it could be true. How hurting it is now, to realise that it is the truth!"

Kushi laid her hand on her mistress' hand, "We must get to the root of this issue immediately, my lady. I cannot see you hurting anymore."

Lady Lavanya nodded, her gaze upon the ground, "Yes, I must ask him what he intends to do with me in his guestroom and him in his room, with no meaning founded upon my stay in this lonely castle."

And so the two girls decided that Lady Lavanya would indeed confront him, but first Kushi wanted Lady Lavanya to do something.

"If you really care for me, my lady," said Kushi as they stood up to leave for their room, "You will do this for me."

"What is it?" asked Lady Lavanya curiously.

"You will meet Nani."

Lady Lavanya stared at Kushi and then broke to laughter, "You are jesting, aren't you?"

"No," said Kushi seriously, "Nani is the Lady Mother of this Castle and if there is anyone who will stand by you in your struggle to find meaning in your stay at this Castle, it is Nani."

It was Lady Lavanya's turn to bite her lower lip as she thought over this, and then she sighed, "But I've heard how sore she is and how she detests me."

Kushi smiled warmly and clasped her mistress's hands in hers, "My lady, if a heart like yours could transform to accept me, do you think Nani is not bound to see the real you?"

Lady Lavanya took a moment to reason this in her head and then nodded hesitatingly.

Chapter Ninety Five: Womanly Talks at the Castle

For afternoon tea, Kushi appeared in Nani's room with a tray of tea and snacks and found the woman seated happily in her armchair with Lady Anjali beside her.

Her aged face glowed with sudden youthfulness as she saw Kushi enter, "Kushibitya! What a delight to see you, child! I…………"

Her voice trailed when her eyes fell on the girl following behind Kushi.

Lady Lavanya bowed to her, "Lady Mother," and then gently shut the door.

While Kushi placed the tray on the table, Nani and Lady Anjali watched as Lady Lavanya walked towards them and sat on the spare armchair before them.

Kushi poured the tea and stirred the sugar and was about to hand it to Nani when Lady Lavanya held out her hands, "May I hand Lady Mother her tea, Kushi?"

Was it the way Lady Lavanya had addressed her handmaid by her first name or was it the polite question not being a curt order, it cannot be certain. But when Lady Lavanya was handed the cup of tea and saucer, and she turned to face Nani, the elderly woman had a gentle smile on her face. And with that smile, she reached out and took the offered cup, leaving a warm feeling in its wake.

Lady Anjali was delighted to see the change in Nani and asked Lady Lavanya, "What brings you up here, Lady La?"

Lady Lavanya explained, "I found it needed of the time that I make my journey to this room."

Nani looked up, "Is something the matter?"

Lady Lavanya sighed, "Everything seems to be."

Lady Anjali was worried, "What is it, Lady La? Is it something concerning your health? Your family?" and then she paused before saying, "Is it…………Chotey?"

Lady Lavanya nodded and Nani frowned, "What about this matter?"

Kushi remained silent, feeding Fortune biscuits as he sat on the table. But she felt her heart go out to her mistress as she resumed, "I remain in this house with no binding need, and the place I had assumed I would have in ASR's heart has waned."

Nani shook her head sadly, "Lady La, are you suggesting that you set out on this decision to stay here without learning that he is a man who keeps none in his heart?"

Lady Lavanya looked away, "I had perhaps assumed that the man who appeared heartless would not actually be devoid of a heart to love. I was wrong. He seems to not reach out to me. He never has, truthfully."

Lady Anjali stood up and placed a hand on Lady Lavanya's shoulder, "This is sad indeed, Lady La. To know what you longed for and what you forced yourself into."

Lady Lavanya looked at Lady Anjali, "Is there a way I can yield him to accept me?"

Lady Anjali smiled, "He is a hard man but I know my Chotey. With time, he will learn to accept you if you prove yourself worthy to be his wife."

"I would love to," said Lady Lavanya hopefully.

Kushi caught Nani's gaze and the young girl smiled. Nani had a hazed look in her eyes as she watched the girl feeding the bird. She then looked towards Lady Lavanya, "There is a way we must certain this situation. We must encounter him and ask him what he makes of this mess he's created with regard to its future."

"Kushi had been suggesting this as well," said Lady Lavanya, nodding to her handmaid.

Lady Anjali smiled, "You have lately come to refer to your handmaid by her forename."

Lady Lavanya looked at Nani and then at Lady Anjali, "Thanks to the insistence of both your graces to have her brought to this Castle in the first place, I have learnt to find more than a handmaid in Kushi. I have understood the warm friend she can be to one's lonely soul."

Just then someone knocked and Lady Manorama's head peeped through the door. She frowned on seeing the suspicious assembly but addressed Lady Anjali, "Anjalibitiya, a letter has arrived for you."

"Oh!" exclaimed an eager Lady Anjali, "It must be from him." She turned to those in the room, "Pardon me for a few minutes, I must see to this."

"Take all your time, Anjalibitya," said Nani, smiling, and they watched as she left the room and then their eyes fell on Lady Manorama who refused to budge from her position at the doorway until she had heard something of what the women's assembly was into which she was not invited.

Kushi announced in her chirpy joy, "Lady Lavanya's going to ask the First Lord to marry her."

All eyes fell on Kushi and Lady Manorama snorted, "What do you know of him, Rags? I know my bitwa well! Talk about marriage to him and he will pull down this Castle with his bare hands!"

Lady Lavanya looked at Kushi and Kushi shook her head, "Do not be disheartened, my lady. What we assume may not have to be true in every instance."

Nani continued drinking her tea in thought.

Lady Manorama walked inside and sat in the chair Lady Anjali had been sitting in, "How do you propose to carry on this endeavour, Lady La?"

Lady Lavanya looked helpless, "I am not certain………..but all I know is that I cannot let this get dragged any further. I must ensure my place in this Castle as his wife or leave."

"It would not be good to see you leave," said Lady Manorama, "You are an impressive woman, well-versed in the tastes and mannerisms of the elite women. Not unlike some vagabonds here." She cast a look at Kushi but Kushi ignored the taunt and busied herself in feeding Fortune.

Nani answered instead, "Manorama, I will not have you speaking of Kushibitya thus in my house."

Lady Manorama stood up as though she had been slapped, "Oh, now she's the bitiya! What am I? Manorama the unloved panorama?!"

Nani sighed, "Do you always have to gather your complexes upon a warning intended to show you where you're wrong?"

"Where am I wrong in saying that this Kushi bitiya of yours is not affluent in the elite customs? She's a village bred and will remain village-worn all through her life."

Nani was infuriated but her voice was calm, "You forget your place, Manorama. It is unwise to categorize people by their birth and background. You shall do no such thing, for all are the same in the eyes of the Creator."

Manorama frowned, "Yes, now we can spit philosophy to cover up unpleasant truths."

Nani put her teacup down, "I do not know why you are so worked up over our affection for this dear village girl, but if you have any more to grumble over, I suggest you take it out of my door."

Manorama looked at Lady Lavanya, "Come dear, we shall walk the garden and not be bothered about what words the Charity Mother and her birdling have decided to donate for Rags."

Nani was almost on the verge of getting up and throwing her daughter-in-law out of the window but Lady Lavanya answered, "Forgive me, Lady Manorama, but I wish to remain right here, for the Rags you refer to has been mending the patches on my life and since I prefer to keep her by my side all day, I don't think you will like it when we both come walking with you to the garden."

Lady Manorama didn't know how to react and, after staring at her for a shocked moment, she stomped out of the room, glaring at Kushi and muttering, "Hapless snoring husband, dream-struck son and a house full of charity lovers!"

As soon as Lady Manorama had left, the three in the room giggled and the air felt a lot warm in the aftermath of that expressed relief.

Nani leaned back in her armchair, "You mustn't mind Manorama. She has always been the witty, restless young tongue!"

"I'll say!" affirmed Lady Lavanya, and then she looked at Kushi, "Do you not fear if that bird will peck your fingers off when it reaches out to take a bite of the biscuit?"

"No," said Kushi, smiling, "It is a very careful bird and can differentiate between fingers and biscuits!"

"Why don't you try and feed him?" asked Nani, leaning forward, a biscuit in her hand extended towards Lady Lavanya.

Lady Lavanya looked at Nani and then at the biscuit before gratefully taking it. She turned to the bird and with Kushi's guidance, she fed the parrot and they laughed when Lady Lavanya impulsively yelped when the eager bird snipped the biscuit in her hand.

"Oh my!" Lady Lavanya blushed, and then grinned, "This is amazing! Is there another biscuit?" She looked at the tray and Nani gently slid the tray towards her.

Then she leaned back in her armchair and watched the two girls happily feed her bird and Fortune puffed with pride under all the attention he was receiving. He squawked and the girls laughed, awakening a young spirit in the gloomy room and Nani closed her eyes, solaced by the sound of the cheerful girls.

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Wait till you read the chapters about to come. High Voltage Chapters in the coming chapters leading up to the 100^th chapter of OUR FF!!!

Tomorrow there will NOT be an update and I may or may not update on Saturday. I am going to my grandmother's house. But I will come on Monday and on that day, I shall stay for a while in the Inn after updating. Because I want to be there when you talk, over drinks, in the Inn after an update………..I always do.