Chapter 4

3 months ago

Pearl_Oyster

@Pearl_Oyster

The car eased out of the parking lot and onto the congested roads of Delhi, weaving through the dense evening traffic. Outside the car, the air trembled with the ceaseless honking and the occasional screech of hurried brakes. But, Khushi barely noticed any of it. Her senses were attuned solely to the man beside her—the one who was once lost to her but now sat inches away, steering the car with a quiet ease.

She shifted slightly in her seat, turning just enough to study him without being too obvious. There he was—his profile sharply outlined against the amber glow of streetlights, hands steady on the wheel, gaze fixed on the road ahead with the quiet intensity she remembered from years ago. It felt unreal. Like one of those morning dreams she would occasionally get when life would be particularly hard or particularly good.

"When did you learn to drive?" she asked, compelled by the simplest curiosity—the need to gather the smallest of details about him.

"Right after I finished school," he replied, his voice even, composed. "Mr. Raizada thought it would be unwise—and unsafe—for me to learn before I completed my schooling. When I enrolled in college, he took it upon himself to teach me."

His words carried a quiet reminiscence, and she could almost see it—the reserved, disciplined young Arnav, sitting stiff-backed behind the wheel, listening intently to the measured instructions of a man who had taken him under his wing.

"You did your college here? In Delhi?" she asked, trying to fit the pieces together.

He glanced at her briefly before nodding. "At NIFT."

Barely an hour’s worth of distance from her own college in Delhi. She tried to calculate the years. He would have been in his final year when she started her college in Delhi.

“Did you start your company when you were still in college?” the question left her mouth, as she recalled the newspaper article.

He seemed surprised by the question.

“Did you do some kind of research on me in the last few hours?” He asked, smiling just a little.

“Maybe” She replied, not wanting to say anything more.

“Yes! I started ARA when I was in my third year. By the time I graduated, the company had kind of...took off. NIFT really allowed me to explore my interests” He replied.

She absorbed the information, letting the thought settle. Arnav, striding through the corridors of the National Institute of Fashion Technology, a place vibrant with fabrics, sketches, and ambition. It was an odd yet strangely fitting image.

"How was it? Your college life?" she asked, drawn deeper into the idea of this version of him that she was completely unaware of.

"It was like stepping into another world," he admitted. "I was in the apparel production and design course, and I knew from the very beginning that I had found my calling. I was a complete nerd—attended every class, spent hours on projects..."

Khushi smiled at that, the familiarity of his nature striking her again. Of course, he would be that way. He had always been the most diligent, even back at the orphanage. The one who shouldered the responsibility of teaching younger children, making sure they understood their lessons, never leaving them behind. She remembered how he had helped her too, how he had always been the patient guide, urging her to believe in her abilities.

"You have always been the brighter one between the two of us," she said fondly.

A small smile curved his lips as he nodded, his gaze momentarily distant, as if he too was revisiting those times.

"You weren't too bad yourself," he said, voice dipping into that familiar, gentle cadence that had always soothed her. "You just needed more of a push than I did to believe in yourself."

She exhaled softly. He had always been the only one who believed in her without hesitation. Even back then, when the world seemed indifferent, when she doubted herself—his conviction had been unshakable.

But she did not say that. Instead, she reached for something else, something that would push away the flood of memories threatening to pull her under.

"Tell me about your family," she asked, her voice quiet but steady.

He turned to look at her again before refocusing on the road. A thoughtful pause stretched between them before he spoke.

"My family... well, there is Mr. Raizada, whom you have met. Ratna Ma. Anjali. Just the four of us. Ratna Ma is very kind. She was very patient with me when I first started living with them. Mr. Raizada! He is more worldly, practical. But he's generous and thoughtful in his own way." His voice had become soft as he spoke about them.

"And then there is Anjali," he continued, his expression lightening further. "She is younger than you by three years, which makes her younger than me by five. She is... spirited. Childish at times! But attached to me. To sum it all up..it is a family like any other".

Listening to him, Khushi felt an inexplicable warmth spread through her chest. He was happy. He had found the life she had always wished for him. And that knowledge settled within her like a quiet relief.

The remainder of the journey passed in a haze of soft directions and unspoken emotions. The car wove through the labyrinth of Delhi’s streets until it reached the familiar contours of her building. Yet as they arrived, as the engine hushed into silence, she felt a quiet restlessness stir within her—stemming from the knowledge that he was going to be in her home.

She remained quiet as he parked the car and then she got down, walking towards the stairs. Arnav too followed her quietly up the narrow staircase to the second floor, his footsteps a steady echo behind hers.

"This is the flat" she spoke rhetorically and turned the key into the keyhole, pushing open the door. The hallway was dark inside as both of them stepped in, the flat enveloped in quiet stillness.

"Welcome," she murmured, closing the door behind her and turned to look at Arnav but the darkness wrapped around them, thick and complete. She reached blindly for the switch, but before she could find it, her fingers brushed against something warm—his face.

She froze. A sharp jolt of awareness raced through her, her heart lurching at the sudden contact.

Quickly, she withdrew her hand, heat rushing up her neck. "The switch is behind you," she said, her voice embarrassingly breathless.

A moment later, light spilled into the small hallway. Arnav was watching her.

"Payal must have turned everything off before leaving," she said hastily, moving past him to step into the living room.

He followed, pausing to take in the space—his gaze sweeping over the modest furniture, the small dining table tucked into the corner, the quiet signs of a home carefully put together.

"My humble abode," she said lightly, feeling oddly self-conscious at the mediocrity of the space.

His eyes lingered everywhere before he spoke. "It is beautiful and cozy"

"Have a seat," she gestured towards her three-seater couch.

"What will you have? Tea? Coffee?" she asked, slipping into the familiar ease of hospitality, trying to shake off the strange nervous energy simmering beneath her skin.

"Nothing," he said, his gaze locking onto hers with quiet intensity.

"What I need is to sit and talk—to be sure that this is real, Khushi! That I have truly found you and this isn’t just something my mind has conjured."

That is what it felt like to her as well. Like a dream that would dissolve away. She needed the surety too. So, she swallowed and sat down on one of the stools near the couch.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked, bracing herself as he settled on the couch.

"Everything," he said simply. "Tell me everything from the beginning. What happened after I left? Where did you go? How did you end up at Raizada Textiles? Your life, your friends—I want to know it all." He seemed both eager and determined.

She smiled faintly, though it did not quite reach her eyes.

"My life has been ordinary, Arnav. After you went away, I was there for another year. I continued going to school, even began teaching the younger children...filling the vacancy you created" she forced a small smile. Arnav smiled too at that.

"After a year, January of 2007, to be exact, a woman showed up at the orphanage. She was my deceased father's sister, my Buaji. It was through her I learnt that my parents had passed away in a road accident and since there was no known relative, I was sent to the orphanage. She told me about my parents...how they had eloped and married. It was an inter-caste marriage and both the families wanted nothing to do with them. So, they had left Kanpur and settled in Lucknow. My father had gotten a job at the University. They were living a happy life. That is until I was born! I was only six months old when the accident happened. I was also with them on the scooter. They passed away immediately. It was a miracle that I was alive, Buaji said. Since they had moved to Lucknow only a few years ago and they had no relatives, I was sent to the orphanage, waiting for any relative to show up. But as you know, no one came. Buaji was in Kanpur, unaware that my parents had passed away. There was no communication between them. It was much later that she learned about the accident and me. After that she began to look for me, to find out which orphanage I was in. It took her a few years to find me because she did not have any connections or much money to spare. She had a sweet shop and a house in Kanpur, left behind by her deceased husband. Once she found me, she took me back to Kanpur with her. I lived with her and did my schooling there" she narrated, recalling details as told by her Buaji.

Arnav seemed to be listening with full attention, his eyes fixated on her.

When she stopped, he waited for her to continue.

"I was in the final year of school...in 12th standard...when Buaji got sick. She was diagnosed with uterine cancer. Soon after I finished school, she passed away. It was a difficult time. I felt like an orphan all over again. She was very loving and kind to me. Though she was a little traditional, she had supported my education and my dreams. After she was gone, I had to adjust to her absence" Khushi said and exhaled while Arnav's face became solemn, his eyes full of emotions that were too many for her decipher.

"After she was gone, I continued my education. I applied for colleges everywhere. I wanted to do a business administration course because I had seen Buaji struggling with her shop. I thought I could help her if I had a good degree. But, it was not meant to be. She passed away much before I could do anything to repay her kindness. Anyhow, I cleared the entrance of Delhi University and decided to pursue the course. So, I moved to Delhi for my graduation" she watched the surprise on Arnav's face as he also realised that they had been in the same city for their college degree.

"I finished my graduation here in Delhi. And this is where I met Akash and Payal"

"Payal...your flatmate?" He asked.

"Yes! And Akash works with me at Raizada Textiles now. He was in the meeting today? Both of them have been very supportive. After finishing my graduation exams, I went back to Kanpur. Thought about doing masters because I felt a bachelor's degree may not be enough to secure a good job. So, I did that. Masters, I mean. I got a scholarship too. So, that was another two years in Delhi. After I finished my Masters, I got a job in campus placement. Worked there for a year. Akash had joined at Raizada Textiles. He told me about an opening about six months ago. That is when I switched and joined here" she finished, keeping her eyes fixed at the carpet while her palms had become sweaty.

"What about me, Khushiji? Are you not going to talk about me?" The beady voice of Shyam seemed to be mocking her from some dark corner of her mind.

Arnav listened, his gaze unwavering, absorbing it all with the kind of focus that made it clear—this was not just a conversation to him. He was trying to get to know her again. But she can only offer parts of herself. She did not have the strength to dig the ugliness that was now behind her.

"When did you move into this flat?" He asked after a few seconds.

"About a year ago. A few months into my first job, Payal proposed that we should get a place together. After finishing her course, she started her own boutique. It was going good and she wanted to live away from her parents. So, we got this place. It is nothing fancy but is definitely comfortable enough for the two of us" She said.

"Like I said, it is beautiful, Khushi. You got this from your own hard-earned money. Coming from where we do, this is a huge upgrade and achievement. I am proud of you" he said, leaning forward.

She could not decide whether to appreciate his gentle words or think about how he used 'we' to refer them as coming from the same place. He still acknowledged his years at the orphanage.

"I am going to make some tea," she said, suddenly needing movement, needing something to do to take her mind off the life story she had just narrated for him. "I make great tea," she added for effect.

His lips quirked into something close to a smile. "I would love to have you make me something."

Relieved by the shift, she exhaled.

"Come, I will give you a tour first. Then we will stop in the kitchen."

"Okay" he stood up too and started walking alongside her.

"So, this is the hall as you can see. This" she moved towards the door on the far right of the hall, "is Payal's room".

"And this is my room" she walked up to the door on the far left of the hall and pushed it open.

Arnav walked up ahead and looked at her. Then he stepped inside the room. Faint glow from the lights in the hall was reaching her room and it was also dimly lit by the fairy lights behind her bed.

She watched as Arnav walked further into the room and looked at everything carefully. He smiled when he noticed the stars she had hung alongside the curtain rod of her window.

"They also glow" she admitted and pressed a switch. Warm, yellow light emanated from the stars, adding to the aesthetic of the room.

"Definitely cosy and wholesome" he said before his eyes caught the picture she had placed on her night stand.

She stepped closer to him as he bent to look closely at it.

"That is Buaji and me" she pointed to the picture, captured on the day she had started school in Kanpur. She was wearing her new uniform and smiling.

"In this, you look exactly like you did at Vaatsalya" He spoke, referring to the orphanage.

"Don't I look the same now?" She asked.

He turned completely towards her, focusing his gaze and attention on her. She felt her stomach flip as his eyes scanned her face and then slowly travelled down. She could feel her heartbeat quicken under the intense assessment of his brown eyes that looked almost black in the dim light.

She did not know where to look when he took a slow step towards her.

"I think I prefer the younger you" he said, voice soft but clear. She blinked in response, catching his eyes. They seemed to be laughing.

"You!" She hit him on the arm as she realised he was having fun with her.

“Ouch!” He feigned injury, his grin widening but her eyes dimmed immediately, a fraction of alarm slipping into them.

"I am sorry! I didn't mean to hit you" she began apologizing, feeling shocked by her act.

"Hey! Khushi! It is alright! You did not hit that hard. I was just acting" Arnav said, leaning slightly towards her to read her face. She looked at him through her lashes. His face was still soft and his eyes were still light. He did not seem angry. She bit her lip and relaxed.

“You have become quite dramatic”, she replied, forcing a smile on her face.

He leaned in more, his smile turning into a hint of smirk. “Only around you, I suppose” he said.

There was something about the way he said it—light as air, yet laced with meaning. It warmed her in a way she had not felt in a long time.

"Come, let me make that tea for you" she said, clearing her thoughts and stepped out of her room, feeling an ease settling around her. He maintained steps with her and looked at ease too.

"You can sit over there while I make this" she said to him.

"No! I am fine here" he said, watching her every step with a shine in his eyes.

"Okay" she said, pouring some water in a sauce pan and putting it for boiling.

She watched as he opened the fridge and started looking at the contents.

"You want something?" She asked.

"You are going to need this, right" he said, holding a ginger piece in his hands.

"Thank you" she said and took it from him.

While she grated the piece into the boiling water and added some tea-leaves, he continued going through the contents of her refrigerator.

"What are you looking for?" She asked.

"This!" He said, taking out the half-empty container of mixed fruit jam.

"You got any bread?" He asked, looking between her and the jam container in his hands.

“I only have white bread,” she admitted, half-expecting a disapproving remark. White bread was, after all, the enemy of modern dietary sensibilities—refined flour, no fibre, a nutritional villain. But she had grown up on it, and every now and then, she indulged.

“You mean you did not stock multigrain, brown bread for me? Were you not anticipating that I would randomly meet you today, invite myself into your home, and demand to eat bread with jam over tea?” He asked, clearly teasing her with a smirk on his face.

"No! Until this morning, I had no idea that I was ever going to be able to be with you in the same room and speak to you" she replied in the same teasing tone but his eyes dimmed at her response; his smirk slipping into something more unreadable.

"You could have, Khushi" he said quietly. "You knew where I was!"

She froze for half a second at the accusation in his words.

And where were you, Arnav! I too had waited for you. She felt like blasting the words back but they were buried too deep inside. She had accepted his absence a long time ago. Had made her peace with it. Not all frinedships can survive against the onslaught of time, can they? She had told herself. And she had kept the distance. Even when life had shown her where to find him.

So, she turned away from him and focused on finding that bread he wanted. She got the packet in the shelf over her head and offered it to him silently. He was still looking at her with questions in his eyes but he took the packet without another word. The silence stretched while he removed two slices from the loaf, and began to spread a layer of jam over them. She busied herself with the tea, adding milk and sugar into the boiling concoction. Yet, through the quiet, she caught glimpses of him—the way he stood in her kitchen, taking a bite of the jam-laden bread, utterly unbothered by its staleness.

Despite the heaviness in the room, the image tugged at something deep inside her. Sunday mornings at Vaatsalya came rushing back—bread, butter, and jam, served with tea. He would always choose jam and bread with his tea. Her chest ached, the memories folding over her like waves, dragging her under before she even realized she was speaking.

"I could not come to find you because my life was complicated, Arnav! And you were in a different world than mine! The distance...it was too much. And I was..I was too much of a coward" The moment the words left her lips, she felt them settle—heavy, unrelenting. Her throat tightened and her eyes blurred as she realized there was some truth to all of this. She had not stayed away from him out of spite. But out of her own insecurities and fears.

Through the haze of her tears, she saw Arnav put the bread aside hurry to her side, his face anguished now.

"I am sorry, Khushi. I don't know why I said it like that. You are not a coward. Not at all" his voice became awfully gentle and soft.

She blinked rapidly, tried to control herself but a few rogue tears escaped out of her eyes anyway.

"You are strong. You survived, you struggled, and you made it here. I know how unfair this world can be. Both of us know it" he said, unaware that those words were soothing older wounds in her soul.

"It doesn't matter! We have now. You and I are here now" He held her gaze, steady, unyielding and something deep inside her shifted. A fracture, slowly mending. He was right.

She nodded, composing herself, trying to ignore his warm hand holding hers.

"Shit!" He said suddenly, his hand withdrawing and rushing to the gas stove to lower the flame.

"I was about to lose that precious tea" he commented and she smiled.

"The mugs are there" she pointed to a cabinet as the tea continued boiling.

He handed her the cups and found a plate to put his bread and jam.

Together, both of them settled in the living room with their tea and sipped it in comfortable silence. She watched as Arnav finished his bread. Then he began to collect both the mugs and the plate.

"I will put these back in the kitchen." She was about to protest when the door suddenly unlocked.

"Can you believe it, Khushi?" Payal’s voice rang out from the hallway, dripping with irritation.

"Some assh*le parked in our space. Again! Just because we do not have a car yet does not mean random people can park in it. I had half a mind to slash the tires but the car looks expensive" Payal's voice travelled from the hallway.

Shit! Khushi felt nervousness prick at the back of her neck. How was she going to explain Arnav's sudden presence in the flat?

"I am extremely grateful that you did not slash the tires of my car" Arnav's amused reply came as he walked back into the hall just as Payal stepped in. Her eyes landed on Arnav as she too stepped into the living room.

For a moment, silence reigned. Then Payal’s eyes widened in sheer disbelief.

"What the fu*k, Khushi?" she blurted, her voice several octaves higher. "Is this real or am I fu*king dreaming? Is Arnav Singh Raizada standing in our flat?"

Arnav, unfazed by the colorful language, held back a smile and extended his hand. "Yes, this is real. And you must be Payal? Khushi’s flatmate?"

Payal stared at him, then at Khushi.

"Yes, I am Payal" she replied and then turned her gaze back at Khushi.

"You. Better. Start. Talking." She turned to Khushi. "Wait. Does Akash know about this already?"

Arnav glanced at her, waiting for her to take control of the situation.

She exhaled. "Let’s all sit first."

Payal crossed her arms. "Oh no, you are coming with me. Now. We need to talk. If you don't mind, Mr. Raizada?" She said, gathering her wits and words.

"Not at all" Arnav said, looking at Khushi.

"I will be back" she said and followed after Payal who gathered her handbag and headed straight to her room.

"All the best" she heard Arnav murmur from behind and she frowned at him. He only smiled.

"You met your best friend from Lucknow? And I...your best friend from Delhi has to find out like THIS?" Payal began again as soon as she was inside and the door was shut.

"I know! I am sorry" Khushi said, knowing well she should have given a heads-up to Payal. They were not just flatmates but extremely good friends.

"I don't know if I am more upset with you or Akash" Payal exhaled.

"Be upset with me! I am sure Akash didn't say anything because he knew I had not told you yet. He must have wanted you to hear from me", She said.

"I know you are right but I am too pissed right now to care", Payal said and then looked at the closed door.

"But fine!!!! Alright! I am going to chill out. All of this can wait. Arnav Singh Raizada is here. In our flat. You should go talk to him. Is he staying for dinner?" She asked and Khushi wondered if she should ask him to stay.

"He only wanted to see where I live" she said instead.

"Aww! He came all this way just to see our two-bedroom flat? Really, Khushi? Ask him to stay for dinner. He obviously wants to get to know you" Payal said.

"We will see" she replied, not wanting to take his time any more than he was offering willingly.

"I will come talk to you later" she said and Payal nodded.

Then, she opened the door and stepped out of the room. She found Arnav standing in the hall, his gaze fixed on the photographs that adorned the wall. His posture was relaxed, one hand resting in his pocket, the other tracing the frame of a particular picture.

"Is this Akash?" He asked, pointing towards a picture where Payal, Akash and she were posing together.

She moved closer and followed his gaze. It was a picture from her graduation day—one of the few she had from that time. While Payal and Akash smiled brightly, she had only managed a slight upward twitch of her lips, forced at Payal’s insistence.

"It is from my last of college... Graduation I mean" she said.

"Payal and Akash...seem close" he remarked, and she had to marvel at his skills of observation. In the picture, Payal was standing between Akash and her. While Payal was giving a side-hug to her with one hand, her other hand was looped around Akash's neck and shoulder.

"They are!" She replied, not commenting further on it.

It was odd how he could take a guess from simply seeing a picture. While, she, on the other hand, had been surprised when Payal had told her about her feelings for Akash. She had been absolutely clueless because Payal and Akash had bickered even on their good days. Apparently, it was a way for them to deal with their unspoken feelings. And it was another matter that at the time, her life had its own challenges. She had been barely been able to focus on anything else.

"What you thinking? Is she still upset with you?" Arnav asked, walking up to her.

“No, just caught off guard,” She admitted. “She was surprised to see you here.”

He nodded. “And they know about me? Both Payal and Akash?” He asked further, less of a question and more of a confirmation.

And suddenly she wondered if it would bother him to know that she had shared parts of his past with them? That they knew about Vaatsalya, about the life he had left behind. Especially seeing that he was a public figure now.

She nodded, trying to read his reaction.

He seemed to consider that before continuing, "I am glad you found good friends around you after your Buaji passed away".

"Me too". Without Payal and Akash, her life would have been twice as hard.

He stepped back towards the couch, settling onto it with ease and she wondered if she should ask him to stay for dinner. Would it be asking too much too soon? They have met only today.

As if on cue, his phone began to ring.

He looked at the screen and received the call.

"Hello, Ma! No, I am not at the office" he said in the phone and looked at her.

Khushi could not help but marvel at the word 'Ma' from his mouth. It was something she had always wanted for him and for herself.

"I am with my friend" he said in the phone, now smiling slightly.

"Yes! Khushi" she was surprised to hear her name and looked at him in question.

"Ji! You were indeed right" he said, voice dropping a little.

Khushi decided to give him some space and went back to the kitchen to see what she could make for dinner.

She was still checking the contents of the fridge when Arnav walked up to her.

"Ma has invited you for lunch with us" he said.

"Oh" she stood up, unable to decide what to say.

“I told her you have work till Friday,” he added. “But I was not sure if you had plans for the weekend. Would you like to come?” His voice was calm, but there was an unmistakable note of hesitation beneath it—an unspoken hopefulness.

"Can I confirm later?" She replied, tens of thoughts running rampant in her head.

"Sure! Take time to decide" he said and then shifted on his feet. He seemed slightly on edge after talking to his mother.

"All good?" She asked.

"Yes! Actually, I have to leave. We have to attend a function where Anjali is performing tonight" He said.

"Dance?" She asked.

"Yes! Kathak. She is into classical dancing. She has been training since childhood. Recently, she has joined an arts centre. Today they’re performing for a charity event" he said.

"Oh" she merely said. So, he won't be staying for dinner.

A small silence stretched between them before Arnav spoke again. “You don’t dance anymore?”

She blinked at the question, momentarily caught off guard. Dancing. A skill she had once cherished, one that had been a part of her since childhood. Now, it felt like a distant memory.

"Not since Vaatsalya" she replied.

"I remember your performances during the events. Especially the one where you played Radha. You were good" he spoke, a hint of nostalgia slipping in his voice.

She too had a dull recollection of the dancing. She had begun early, from the age of five and had danced every year in the cultural events during republic days and independence days.

"It has been too long. I do not think I remember any of it" she replied, sure that her feet had forgotten the rhythm and the grace. Arnav tilted his head slightly, as if assessing her.

“I think you could, if you tried.” He sounded as optimistic as ever for her. She offered him a faint smile but said nothing.

He exhaled, glancing at his phone again. “Let me know about the lunch. I am sorry but I will have to leave now.”

As if remembering something, he turned toward Payal’s door. “I’ll meet her properly next time. Tell her goodbye for me.”

"Okay" she replied and then began walking with him, both of them heading out of the flat.

Neither she nor Arnav said anything, as they stepped out of the main door of the flat. He simply looked at her and she looked at him.

She was unsure what to say and it seemed so was he.

He turned to leave but then turned towards her again.

“Take care, Khushi,” he said softly. His gaze lingered for a beat longer, his expression unreadable.

Khushi felt something shift in her chest. “You too, Arnav.”

She thought, for the briefest second, that he might reach for her—that he might pull her into another embrace. But he did not. He only gave her a final glance before turning away and descending the stairs.

She stood at the threshold, watching him go. And continued standing there long after he disappeared.