Chapter 1

I looked around; but I couldn't see her. She wasn't there. My Angel wasn't there. I didn't know what to do. But I knew I wanted her back. In my life; with me. I no longer cared about me; I didn't want to. I wanted her back. I cared for her; I wanted her to know that. And she needed to be there to listen to me. But she was gone. I stared at my outstretched hands; my fingers were curled in the air - exactly where she was. Just a moment ago. But all now remained was memories of that beautiful dream. I was not sure if dreams could form memories; but my Angel could do anything. She was perfect. A vision of me. A fragment of my imagination. An illusory fragment that existed. An Angel like her in a life of a Demon like me. I wanted to laugh at the irony. But I didn't care. I would never; because she existed.
I didn't realize when she flung her arms around me. A waft of floral rebelled against my musk as her petite arms weaved through mine. Her small palms rested against my shoulders; her fingers dug into my flesh. Her nails scratched against my skin; leaving a trail of her on me. But I didn't mind. She felt like silk against my steel. So soft; so naive; so innocent... I felt her breath pulsating as she pressed her angelic face against me. Her breasts; tender and perfect - heaved; as she drew air from me; and returned it back to me - basking my whole being with her. She was warm - I had never realized how comfortable she felt. I never knew how perfect she was - her body contouring with the cut of my muscles.
I didn't like it - not seeing her. My hands travelled to my shoulders and covered hers. I squeezed her palms and twirled her around. In a moment; there she stood before my eyes; swirling like an Angel she was. Her long chestnut-addled-black tresses flew deep to her back. The diamonds of her Mangalsutra seemed iridescent in the little light that illuminated the place. Her chandelier earrings were dangling right next to her face; before disappearing into her the silk of her hair. Moonlight danced across her face; accentuating her features. Her eyes twinkled like I've never known before. Her eyelashes cast long shadows on her cheeks; fluttering as the perfect hazel of her eyes scanned my face with a look that was so unlike her. She was beautiful. I never had to look beyond her angelic face to say this; I knew I wouldn't be able to take the heavenly beauty of her that emanated from every inch of her perfect body.
I never would have thought it would feel so divine; holding her in my arms; not giving a thought about the consequences for once. My hands glided to her neck across the heated ice of her. She shivered; as my icy warmth melted into hers.
I held her face in my palms; realizing how tiny, how fragile she was. I lightly traced my fingers along the lines of her jaw; sliding down her straight nose reaching her rosy lips. She gasped as my fingers opened the petals that were her lips. I could feel goosebumps rising all over her body as she shuddered under the simplest of my touch. I took a deep breath. She was my Angel. My Khushi.
I asked her to stay with me with words that demanded promises. I wanted her to promise me that she'll stay with me forever. A promise for eternity; that my Angel will stay with her Demon.
But she stepped back. One step at a time; her face bearing a mask of something incomprehensible - something I had seen so many times before; and something I still failed to understand even after all this time. The twinkle had vanished; there was a prominent frown on her forehead. I stared at her; her frown replicating on my face. But she didn't stop. She turned on her heels and -
"Khushi!", I cried out as I jerked straight on my bed. I looked around; I was in my room. Everything was exactly how I remembered. The recliner was angled perfectly; the curtains were draped exactly how I liked - half opened. The lamps formed dull golden crescents on the walls behind.
My hands crept on the linen to her side of the bed, only to meet cold sheets. I felt my heart race my breaths as an unknown fear wrapped around me, cocooning me in its stronghold. I fought it back; but it kept on rebounding.
The door of my room burst open and Di stepped in, "Chote, Khushi ji is leaving! Please do something, stop her!"
"What?", I shouted, "How can you let her go, Di?", I asked my sister, knowing deep down that it was futile. My Angel was not someone who would stop once she made her mind. I threw my comforter aside and dragged my legs to the floor.
"No Chote, you are not supposed to walk!", Di limped to me and kept her hand on my shoulder, not letting me stand up, "The bullet wound is yet to heal. You can't walk; it will worsen the -"
I gently removed her hand from my shoulder and held it in mine, "No Di, it'll worsen if I don't go now", I told her; I wasn't sure how much she heard; my voice was barely audible even to me.
I didn't remember how I made it down the stairs, my eyes were clouded by flashes of her. She was an irreplaceable part of my universe; and I wanted her to accept it. I knew her heart yearned for me; but I still didn't understand why she would care for a Demon like me. How much ever I tried to keep her away from me; how much ever I wanted to her believe that it was me who had destroyed her life - she always came back to me. Like a moth to the fire.
And then I saw her. This time for real. She was telling something to Nani and Mami; with animated movements of her hands; her face strained. And then she stopped dead in her talk; maybe her heart registered my presence. Like it always did.
"Khushi", I whispered, exhausted from walking all the way to the living room, "Please, Khushi. Don't...", I coughed; maybe I was more tired by walking than I realized.
She came running to me, "Arnav ji, aap - why did you - you should be in your room! Aap ko -"
"Shhh", I held her hand; partly because I craved for her touch and partly because I needed support to stand for long, "You are leaving", I meant this as a question; but it came out as a statement. I frowned at myself. I was losing it.
"I have to", I saw her struggling for words, "I can't stay."
I shook my head, "You belong - I mean - you haven't recovered yet. I can't - I can't let you go. I just can't."
"Arnav ji, you know - "
"No, I don't! I don't know anything!", I said, "And you are not going anywhere. Do I make myself clear?"
"But -"
"That's final. I'm not done with you, Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada. And Arnav Singh Raizada doesn't like things done halfway. Do you get it?"
There they were. I saw them on her face again. I hated them - her tears. Always; since the first time I set eyes on my Angel. Since the time she rekindled Arnav in the stoned heart of Arnav Singh Raizada.
She struggled free of me. I let her go; I didn't want to hurt her anymore. I lost my balance when I loosened my grip on her. She turned her back on me and I fell down. Literally; and figuratively. I could no longer sense the pain that erupted like a volcano the moment my weight shifted on my wounded leg. I winced anyway; the ground suddenly appeared closer and closer as I fell down to the floor. I tried my best to keep quiet; I didn't want to hurt her more because of me.
But Di betrayed me; she screamed when she saw me falling. Her scream made my Angel turn back to the her own personalized inferno - me...
She ran to me; again. Like I wanted her to. Like I didn't want her to.
"Arnav ji, sambhal ke!", she panicked; her words escaping her like a steam of sheer innocence - coupled with concern - I wasn't sure. My brain was almost paralyzed by the thought of her leaving me.
"Go, Khushi", I told her as she blew over my wound, "You don't have to stay back for me."
Her doe-like eyes shot up to mine, reflecting confusion. "W - what?", she stammered.
"You deserve to go away from me. I - I've been a monster to you! I wish I can erase the past - I wish there were some means. And I wish your Devi Maiyya exists, Khushi. Because I want to ask her for time to make things right - because I don't know how. Maybe she will help me; but why would she? What have I really done for her? Di used to tell me when the girl I love leaves me, I won't be able to breathe. That my heart will stop beating. I always used to make fun of her; and she would get angry - irritated; more of", I chuckled, "And I would say I don't need those breaths who would betray me for a girl. ASR didn't like weaknesses, you know. But now I know what she meant. Today; I love my weakness, Khushi. I really do. I would do anything to have this weakness in my life. What have you done to me, Khushi? Why did you bring Arnav back from the his facade? I can't find my perfectly flawed mask of ASR anywhere, I - "
I wasn't following her movements; probably if I were, I would have seen her springing up my length and caressing my face. My eyes; who were staring at some pattern on the tiles which I would have found annoying otherwise, closed on their own accord.
I could feel her breath was on my face. I didn't want to open my eyes in case this was another one of those dreams I had been having. I knew somewhere that this wasn't a dream; I didn't know why my eyes still refused to open to the reality. Maybe she didn't care that we were in the living room; surrounded by people. I couldn't say that I did either. All I knew that was Khushi was practically lying on me; her fingers clutching my shoulders. Like in those dreams I had been having.
And then I felt strawberries on my lips. Just that the texture was all wrong. It felt like rose petals. Soft, tender... I didn't know if I was still in my living room; in my house - I didn't even know if I was on Earth. Maybe not. Something this angelic couldn't exist. I didn't deserve heaven; and she hell - but it felt ethereal.
And this was my Angel. I hated her for making me love her; making me want her. And I loved her for just making me love her...
I heard something reverberating around - like some symphony. With me hating her; with she hating me... With her in my arms; with me in her arms... It was our bitter-sweet symphony - now complete; as our hearts beat as one... Not just faster and together; but we created a melody - a symphony; that had it all - Arnav and Khushi; Khushi and Arnav...
*
[MEMBERSONLY][NOCOPY]
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