Chapter 52

Chapter 52: Incomplete

Okay I know it was MPC's turn but I couldn't rest after rereading the previous Chapter.. I had to update this faster... Seriously last chapter was disastrous and I'm sorry about that... I hope this one is better...

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When Arnav and Khushi returned home from the reunion party, everyone was already asleep. As they walked together towards the staircase to go up to their room, Khushi turned and Arnav caught her hand.

"Where are you going?" He asked as usual.

"I'll just get the water jug from the kitchen, HP must have kept it in the fridge before leaving. You carry on." She replied and left for the kitchen.

Khushi was in deep thought and mechanically took the water jug from the refrigerator and started back for her room. Seeing Arnav walk away with Lavanya had made her feel strange, like there was some heavy metal ball inside her stomach. She stood for some time near the living room window on the way thinking.

She had seen how easily Arnav had let Lavanya hold his arm. Their conversation seemed so light and casual from where she had been watching it. It made her realise that how her and Arnav's relationship had taken ages to reach whatever comfort zone it was in right now. And even after all the struggle they were not completely open with each other. There was still a distance... a hesitation... a fear...

A fear that if one of them came too close, it would result in hurting the other. She wondered if she could ever be as comfortable with Arnav as his friends were with him... as Lavanya was with him. Lavanya had so easily put her arm around Arnav's arm. Something she herself had to struggle hard for.

Maybe it was because Arnav and Lavanya did not share a dark and painful past... maybe because their relationship hadn't gone through any trauma. Lavanya had been in love with Arnav. Why not? Khushi thought. Anyone could fall in love with him. He is such a wonderful person. His life wouldn't have been like this had he responded to Lavanya's feelings. He would have been a happy person now. Not a broken and hurt person.

The jug in her hand was about to tilt and spill when she came out of her thoughts and steadied it. She returned back to their room and saw that Arnav had already changed and was relaxing on the recliner with his eyes closed, waiting for her.

She kept the jug on the bedside table and came to him. He opened his eyes feeling her close to him. He smiled at her and started to get up but she held his shoulder and made him sit back again.

"Khushi?" He asked as she stepped forward and sat on his lap. He was a little shocked by her action but didn't stop her. He knew something was bothering her and just put his arms around her. Khushi leaned on him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Khushi... What is it sweetheart?" He asked but she just stayed quiet pressing herself against him.

After a while her hands started roaming over his chest, caressing him, drawing patterns. Arnav felt a shiver run down his spine as a result of the sensations she was arousing in him. He still didn't stop her wondering why she was behaving so strange. But when her hand went up to caress his nape and she rubbed her face against his neck, he cupped her face.

"Khushi? Are you alright? What..." he tried to ask but she interrupted him.

"Please Arnav... Please don't stop me." She pleaded. "I know you don't want to get intimate with me. But let me at least be close to you... feel you..." She hugged him closer feeling weak and vulnerable.

He hugged her back but was stunned by what she had said.

I know you don't want to get intimate with me...

You don't WANT to get intimate with me...

She thinks I don't want to get intimate with her... She thinks I don't WANT to get intimate with her?

He wondered what she meant by it. Do I really don't WANT to...? What made her think that way? I... I have a fear that I might hurt her... give her more pain... But I don't... I do want to...

He couldn't get himself to reach a proper conclusion. He looked down and saw that she had fallen asleep on his chest. He stared at her calm, beautiful face for a long time. His hand came up to brush her cheek. His fingertips ran across her closed eyelids, nose-bridge and then down across her lips... her soft, pink, luscious lips. He gently ran his thumb across them and then held her chin to make her face slowly tilt towards him.

He stared at her rosy petal-like lips for a long time remembering how sweet they were when he had really tasted them for the first time in that hotel room in Mumbai. The second time he had just...

He closed his eyes to push that awful memory out of his brain and remembered how Khushi herself had kissed him a few days ago. The feeling had been just out of the world... maddening... exhilarating...

Would she really be hurt if he kissed her again...? Would he turn into a monster again...? But now they loved each other so much... There was no bitterness... no bad memories between them... Then would it really ruin whatever improvement they had made...?

There was only one way to find out. But was he ready to take that risk? Arnav wasn't much sure of that...

He continued to brush her lips staring at them and Khushi slightly pouted them, feeling the touch in her sleep. She looked so beautiful with her lips pouted like that... so irresistible... His instincts overtook him completely and without realising what he was doing, he leaned forward and brushed her lips with his.

"Mmm..." Khushi moaned and pouted more in her sleep feeling the tickling sensation due to the feather like touch of his lips.

Arnav could barely breathe now and pressed her lips a little with his and quickly pulled back. He looked at her and saw her eyebrows scrunch as a frown appeared on her face, as if she didn't like it when he pulled back.

He caressed her cheek and pecked her lips again... and again... and again... and again...

Oh God! She was so sweet... so intoxicating... so addictive... He thought as he continued to kiss every contour of her lips. His brain was going all fuzzy as if he was getting drugged. When he was completely out of breath he pressed his lips on hers one last time.

"Khushiii..." He murmured against her lips, holding her firmly. Even in deep sleep she responded by tightening her arms around his neck.

He stayed in that position with her for a long time, wishing for this moment to last forever. After a long time, Khushi moved hiding her face in his chest. Arnav wondered how things worked with Khushi's Devi Maiya. He wondered how exactly did he end up holding such an angel in his arms in spite of being a horrible monster?

Khushi moved again trying to adjust herself against him. Arnav realised she must be uncomfortable, sleeping in that position. He held her properly and sat straight. Then holding her in his arms, got up and carried her to the bed.

As he lied down next to her, he couldn't stop himself from kissing her one last time before taking her in his arms and closing his eyes.

~~~~~~

Next day was a Sunday and Khushi was in the kitchen, helping Payal with breakfast.

Payal noticed that Khushi didn't seem her usual self and asked, "Khushi? Are you alright? You seem a little pale today."

"Huh?" Khushi looked at her surprised. "Of course I'm fine Jiji. What could be wrong?"

"That's exactly what I'm trying to ask you. What's wrong?" Payal asked looking at her worried.

"Nothing Jiji." Khushi smiled nervously. "I'm fine. Everything is fine."

"Are you sure?" Payal asked again.

"Yes Jiji. Stop worrying." Khushi said and picked up the plates and walked out quickly to set the table.

Everyone sat together to have breakfast and when they were almost done, Akash cleared his throat to gain everyone's attention. Everyone looked at him curiously and he was literally blushing.

"What is it Akash? Why have you gone all red?" Arnav asked bluntly making him feel even more conscious.

"Uh... no... nothing like that Bhai... Actually I wanted to say something... Actually..." Akash gulped losing nerve and glanced at Payal once but she was blushing even harder and had her gaze fixed on her lap. He turned back to everyone taking a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "Um... Ma?" He spoke to Mamiji.

"Yes Akash Bitwa... What is it?" Mami asked impatiently.

"Ma, you are going to become Dadi." He said quickly and looked away.

There was a stunned silence for a few seconds on hearing the announcement and then there was an uproar. Nani and Mami were beside themselves with joy. Khushi left her breakfast unfinished and ran to hug Payal. Arnav too congratulated Akash and hugged him

Mami immediately stripped off her Kangans and rewarded Payal. Nani kissed her forehead. Everyone was so happy. There were happy tears everywhere.

Khushi hugged Payal again. "Thank you Jiji... I'm going to be a Maasi... Yay!" She jumped up and down like a small kid.

"Yes... Maasi and Chachi too don't forget that." Payal smiled at her and pulled her cheeks. "But don't forget it's your turn now. I want to become a Maasi too."

Everyone agreed to what Payal said but Khushi's face fell. Suddenly a thought struck her... She could never become a mother. Her husband's fears would never let that happen. Their life would always stay like this... Incomplete...

She blinked back the moisture that was starting to form in her eyes and somehow smiled back for Payal.

After the breakfast everyone was relaxing in the living room when the doorbell rang. HP opened the door and came back in followed by Lavanya.

"Surprise everyone!" Lavanya beamed at everyone.

Nani and Mami got up smiling to greet her.

"Arre Lavanya? Come dear. When did you return to India?" Nani asked making her sit next to her.

"It's nice to see you again Miss Tip Top." Mamiji said taking a seat on the other side of her.

"Thanks Mamiji. Actually Naniji, I returned day before yesterday. I wanted to attend the reunion." Lavanya replied.

"Oh so you are here only for the reunion is it?" Nani enquired.

"Oh no Naniji. I'm back now. My company has started a new project in Kolkatta and I'm supposed to handle it. So I'll be moving there this evening." Lavanya answered. "I thought I'll just see you guys before I leave."

"Good you came here." Mami smiled at her.

"Yes Bitiya, we hadn't seen you ever since you left to London for further studies. You must have lunch here today." Nani insisted.

"Thanks Naniji." Lavanya accepted the invitation.

"Good, I wouldn't let you go just like that as you have come after so long." Nani complained. "But anyways, at least you remembered us and came, that is more important."

"How could I not come? I wanted to see all of you so much. I wish Di was here too." Lavanya said holding Nani's hand. "And most importantly I wanted to personally congratulate ASR and Khushi for their wedding." She got up and went to the sofa where Arnav and Khushi were sitting next to each other and sat next to Khushi. "Well I would congratulate at least Khushi, I'm not sure about ASR. I don't think he needs my wishes." She frowned at Arnav.

"Hey, what did I do?" Arnav asked defensively. "Why would I mind if you wished me for my wedding?"

"Well you never bothered to invite me, so maybe you wouldn't like if I wished you." She snapped at him and turned to Khushi. "ASR is really lucky to have a wonderful wife like you Khushi." She smiled at her.

Arnav smiled as only he knew how true Lavanya's words were. He was really lucky to have Khushi in his life.

"Thank you Lavanya." Khushi smiled.

"Here this is for you." Lavanya said handing her a black velvet box. "I'm sorry, I didn't get time to wrap it. I wasn't informed about your wedding so had to buy it in a hurry this morning."

Khushi hesitated looking at the box which she knew must contain some expensive piece of jewelry without even opening it. "You shouldn't have Lavanya."

"Oh please no formalities okay? You have to take it." Lavanya said pushing the box in Khushi's hands.

Khushi wasn't sure but Arnav quietly pressed her hand reassuring her that it was alright.

~~~~~~

Everyone admired the diamond necklace that Lavanya had gifted Khushi and then they sat chatting casually for a while. Khushi saw how Lavanya was comfortable with the entire family. Even Akash was talking to her like an old friend. She fit in perfectly, Khushi thought with a pinch in her heart.

After lunch Khushi and Payal tidied up everything while others sat in the living room. The two of them were coming out to join the others when Khushi's phone rang and she stayed back to attend it. When she finished talking and came out she saw that everyone had got up and Lavanya seemed to be leaving.

"It was nice seeing you after so long ASR." Lavanya said and came forward to hug Arnav. Khushi froze in her tracks seeing that and a painful current ran along her body. All power seemed to drain out of her body and her cell phone dropped from her hand and fell on the floor with a loud noise.

Arnav who was stepping back before Lavanya could hug him properly, turned to look at Khushi. One look at her and he knew that she was disturbed because of Lavanya coming close to him and he quickly moved away from Lavanya. "Khushi... what..." He tried to ask taking a step towards her but she quickly bent down to pick up her phone.

"I... I'm sorry. I think... my phone is not working. I need to... check it. I... I have to make an important call... Sorry... bye La... Lavanya." She mumbled and rushed up to her room.

Arnav wanted to run after her and take her in his arms. But he was aware of the curious looks of Lavanya and his family and it would surely look suspicious if he ran after his wife like that. So he waited until Lavanya left and then quickly returned to his room.

He closed the door and saw that Khushi was not there. He panicked and checked at the poolside and was relieved to find her there. She was sitting by the edge of the pool, hugging her knees. He went and sat next to her. Her breathing was shallow and she was staring at the ripples in the pool water without blinking.

"Khushi?" He said placing a hand on her shoulder. There was no response. "KHUSHI?" He said more urgently and took her in his arms, holding her against his chest.

He waited for her to say something and after a few minutes she spoke. "Arnav... I don't deserve you."

Arnav's heart stopped beating for a moment. His mind went blank. He couldn't comprehend her words. What was she saying?

"I have destroyed your life Arnav." Khushi said. "I shouldn't have come back when you had set me free to leave you."

His head was starting to spin now as fear gripped his heart making his hold on her tighter.

"I didn't tell you about Shyam right in the beginning and you misunderstood me which resulted in that disastrous incident that changed both our lives. You had to go through so much pain because of me." She continued.

"Khushi please... Stop." He suddenly spoke.

"I'm the reason for your pain... your misery... Because of me you haven't been able to live a normal life for over two years now." She went on.

"No Khushi, what are you saying? I hurt you... Gave you so much pain..." He said desperately.

"If not for me you would have been happily married to someone like Lavanya... Someone who doesn't share a dark past with you..." She continued not registering that he was saying anything.

Arnav stayed quiet letting her vent out whatever was there in her heart. Though each word she spoke pierced his heart and tore it apart. He just held her in his arms stroking her back to calm down the sobs that were starting to break.

"You should have married someone who could make you happy. Who could love you in every way... and you could love her back without any hesitation." She had started crying now, the thought of Arnav with someone else was excruciatingly painful for her. "I can never be your wife in every sense Arnav. Our past will always keep coming in between your happiness. You will always be scared to touch me. I'll never be able to satisfy you. I will never be able to complete you in true sense. I'll never be able to give you the happiness of being a father. With me, there will be no one to carry your name forward. You deserve so much better Arnav. I shouldn't be in your life. I should leave. I should go away."

That was it... He had heard enough. He forced her to look at him and his eyes bore into hers. "YOU WILL NOT LEAVE ME!" He declared. "You understand? I will not let that happen. How dare you say that? How dare you blame yourself for the past?" He shook her a little. "We both know it was my fault. I don't deserve you. You are perfect, flawless Khushi... I am the one who should be suffering not you." She stared into his eyes dumbstruck a little scared by the raging fire in his eyes. "But it's too late now Khushi. I cannot live without you and I know that you can't live without me either, so we are going to stay together forever, no matter what." He wiped the tears from her face and his eyes softened. "Khushi..." He said softly bringing her closer and caressing her cheek. She closed her eyes as he said, "I love you... I love you so much Khushi... don't ever leave me."

Just like the previous night his emotions were strong and he couldn't stop himself and brushed his lips against hers. She gasped and her eyes opened wide, only to see that Arnav's eyes were closed and his lips were against hers. She couldn't believe her eyes. If it wasn't for the million sensations his lips were creating in her body just by a light touch against hers, she could have never believed that this was really happening.

However at the moment she hardly cared about anything else and she only realised that her Arnav was kissing her after a lifetime of wait. Suddenly all dams of happiness broke and she slid her arms around his neck, gripping his nape firmly.

The slow burning started to grow like a wild fire inside her, igniting every cell of her body with long lost passion. Khushi's acceptance had given courage to Arnav and he took her lower lip in his mouth to suck on it and when she started responding more and more, his self control started to crumble and their kiss became more passionate as they explored each other like there was no tomorrow... Two hearts deprived of love, now being showered with it without any restraint. They went on kissing each other barely pausing to catch breath but unable to stop. Their tears blended with each other as they swallowed each others moans and groans and sobs.

Even after they broke apart after what seemed like an eternity... or maybe just a single moment... they clung to each other, shivering, trembling, scared to let go of each other.

After a long-long time Khushi moved back slightly, just enough so that she could look at her love. Arnav looked back at her with so much love that all her doubts and questions faded out of her mind. But Arnav himself broke the silence after a while a tiny line of worry creasing his forehead.

"You will not leave me right?" He asked in a weak voice. Tears once again left her eyes as his fear stabbed her heart painfully. She shook her head still unable to speak anything. "I love you a lot Khushi, I will NOT live without you, no matter how selfish I have to be for that. My life can never be Incomplete when I have you right here in front of me... in my arms... in my life..." He brushed her hair from her face and continued. "But yes, if you leave me then I'll be nothing... not Incomplete... but simply NOTHING. Khushi..." He spoke her name as if it was the most sacred word in the entire universe. "Our life, our love will not be Incomplete... not anymore."

Khushi buried herself in his chest, "I love you Arnav, I love you."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Chapter 53: Towards the Future

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