Chapter 13

Chapter 13: The Wedding

Back to Present..

At Shantivan, Arnav was sitting by the poolside going through some files when he heard Akash call out to him, "Bhai are you there?"

"Over here Akash." Arnav answered.

Akash stepped in by the poolside. "Bhai it's Sunday. Why are you working?"

"Never mind Akash, you wanted to talk to me?" Arnav asked getting back to his file.

"Yes, I wanted to know what time do we leave this evening." Akash enquired.

Arnav gave him a puzzled look. "Leave? To where?"

"Oh come on Bhai. It's Karan's wedding." Akash was surprised at his brother's forgetfulness.

"Oh yes, about that.. I'm not really sure if I want to come." Arnav said evasively.

"That's not fair Bhai, you promised Karan." Akash said almost pressingly.

"I know but you're going right? Besides I don't know anyone there." Arnav said distractedly.

"That's not true. The entire AR Staff will be there." Akash argued.

"Forget it Akash." Arnav said getting irritated.

"Bhai you never go out. It will be a pleasant change." Akash continued to press the matter. Akash knew that Arnav was being eaten up with guilt for over a month now & the only way he could see that his brother's condition could be improved was by bringing him face to face with Khushi. Maybe if Khushi forgave him, he might feel better. He suddenly had an idea. "You know Bhai, the other day I went to Karan's Sangeet. Everyone was there. I even met Khushi."

Arnav's head snapped up to look at his brother, "Khushi did you say? Khushi Kumari Gupta? What was she doing there? How is she? Did you talk to her? What did she say?" He said stumbling over words.

"Whoa, Bhai.. So many questions.. Take it easy.." Akash was pleased. "Khushi is fine. I wouldn't say back to normal but better than how she was when I had been to her home."

Of course she was not normal. He had made sure of it; that she could never be normal again. He thought bitterly. "Is she.. going to be there today?" He asked hesitantly.

"Of course she'll be there. Khushi, Pari & Karan are childhood friends. Khushi wouldn't miss this wedding for anything." Akash filled in Arnav with as many details as possible. "Anyways Bhai, since you're not interested in coming, I'll go on my own." He started to leave.

"Akash wait." Arnav suddenly called out, "Actually you are right. I did promise Karan that I'll be there at his wedding & it wouldn't look good if I didn't turn up after all. I'll go with you just to wish them." Arnav said desperately trying to sound indifferent.

"Alright Bhai, be ready by six in the evening then." With that Akash left smiling to himself.

Arnav sat looking at the still water of the pool. "Khushi.." He whispered. A million emotions ran through his mind. Since that fateful day there hadn't been a day.. a moment when he hadn't hated himself. He died a million deaths every time he thought about her. Every moment of his life was a curse that left his insides burning.. Maybe if he got just one chance to apologise..

~~~~~~

"Khushi, I think I'll die of nerves." Pari said almost hyperventilating.

"Chill Sweetheart, it's just Karan." Khushi encouraged her.

"Oh, yeah? We'll talk on your wedding day." Pari's voice had started to attain a hint of insanity.

"Baby, calm down. All you have to do is follow the Pundit's instructions & Karan will be by your side. Just tune out everything else OK?" Khushi tried to soothe the nervous bride. "Now take deep breaths."

"Yeah, alright." Pari said following Khushi's instructions.

"I'll just check if your mom needs anything now?" Khushi walked out of the room & stopped to take a deep breath herself.

To be honest, Khushi was in a worse state of mind than Pari. What if he decided to come? She had asked herself a million times & she had always made her mind shut up. I'll just ignore him, so there's no need to worry. She had gone ahead & put up a brave face for two of her best friends but deep within, she wasn't that confident. Facing Him again might just finish her off.

As she walked down to the mandap area to look for Pari's Mom, Khushi started to feel a bit uneasy. She looked up to see Karan's dad welcoming Akashji and..

Khushi gasped & turned her back towards the entrance. No. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be here. She ran back upstairs before he could spot her.

She ran back to Pari's room & shut the door, leaning her back against the door she stood panting, her eyes tightly shut.

"Khushi, what happened?" It took a while for Pari to pick up her heavy bridal Lehenga & walk up to her. "Khushi?" She shook her by the shoulder.

Khushi opened her eyes & they were filled with terror. She herself was trembling with fear. "Pari!" Khushi hugged her like a scared child.

"Khushi.." Pari was confused for a moment & then it dawned on her. "OMG! He decided to come after all?"

Though Khushi hadn't said a word, Pari had a fair idea of what she must have gone through. Payal had told her about Khushi's injuries. Khushi was definitely hiding something big which was related to ASR.

She pulled back & cupped Khushi's face in both her hands. "Khushi, its Ok. Look there are so many people over here. He can't do anything. Right?" Pari tried to convince her, "And didn't we talk about it that he should be the one who should be ashamed of facing you?"

Khushi just nodded.

"Khushi? Please for my sake? Just stay in the mandap with me, alright? Don't go anywhere near the guests. OK?" Pari asked.

Khushi pulled in a ragged breath. "Yeah, alright. I'll stay by your side. You're right. I'll just be in the mandap. I'll stay away from him."

"That's my lioness!" Pari hugged her.

After the initial shock Khushi recovered a bit. Though she was still scared, she decided to go by her decision to ignore him if he came.

~~~~~~

From the moment he entered the premises Arnav's eyes searched only for Khushi. He looked every where. It was difficult as there were packs of young girls moving around the place but he knew he could never miss her. She was definitely not there. He decided after a detailed scan of the place. Had she decided not to come? No that couldn't be. Coming here would turn out to be a complete waste. He thought.

Just then Akash bumped into someone, "Payalji?" he said smiling at a girl Arnav had never seen before.

"Akashji? How are you?" Payal smiled back slightly blushing.

"I'm fine. How are you? And where is Khushi?" Arnav's ears pricked up at Akash's question.

"I'm fine, Khushi is upstairs with Pari." Payal answered and Arnav got the information he was desperate for.

She was here..

"Excuse me Akashji, I have to go. Khushi & I have to bring Pari down." Payal said & left.

"Who is she?" Arnav asked; his eyes glued to the stairs.

"Oh Payalji is Khushi's older sister." Akash answered; his eyes glued to the staircase too.

~~~~~~

The stairway cleared for the bride. Arnav's eager eyes were getting impatient by the second. And then at long last, he saw her and everything else faded out. She had her eyes down cast. She was wearing a tomato red heavily embroidered saree & her hair were elegantly braided & adorned with flowers. The braid rested on her right shoulder swaying at her waist. But there was something off in her appearance. The smile that normally lit up her face was gone. Well she did smile but it looked fake.

He wanted to talk to her, ask her if she was alright, apologise... but she stayed in or around the mandap. Arnav hoped that she would at least look in his direction but she didn't. Did she know that he was there? Was she purposely avoiding to look in his direction?

As he continued to look at her, Arnav realised that she certainly looked different and it wasn't just her fake smile. She was much thinner than the last time he had seen her. Her eyes looked sunken & tired as if she hadn't slept in weeks. Her eyes which were always so full of life had a blank, dead look in them. Her skin looked pale & ghostly.

Arnav momentarily shut his eyes. What had he done? How could her ever make up for this? He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Bhai come lets go over there near the mandap," Akash was saying "everyone is there."

Arnav saw that Akash was pointing towards a group of AR staff and Khushi was standing among them. He went along to the group. As he walked up to the group, he heard Khushi excusing herself & walking away. She definitely was aware of his presence & didn't want to talk to him. But he had to talk to her. If he ever hoped for a peaceful moment in his life, he had to apologise. Whether she forgave him or not was secondary. But he had to do whatever was possible from his end.

Akash was talking to Khushi's sister when Arnav saw Khushi walking towards them.

"Hi Khushi." Akash said.

She looked suddenly nervous, "Oh hi Akashji." She said not meeting his eyes, Arnav felt sick of himself as he realised that Khushi was feeling awkward speaking to Akash in front of him, he had accused her of hitting on Akash. He cursed himself & tried to catch her eye. But she ignored his slight cough, "Jiji can you hold this bag for me? It has valuables. I need to go to the parking lot. Pari's mom has left the silver plate in the car."

"Sure Khushi." Payal replied looking concerned at Khushi. She knew her sister might be extremely anxious right now.

Khushi walked away immediately keeping her eyes downcast.

Arnav waited for a few moments. He saw that Akash was once again busy chatting with Payal and discreetly withdrew from there & walked towards the parking lot.

~~~~~~

Khushi had found the plate & was locking the car when she heard His voice from behind her.

"Khushi?" She froze.

She shut her eyes praying to Devi Maiya for strength. And then slowly turned around still looking at the ground. "Khushi I want to talk to you." He said.

A shudder ran through her as she heard his voice. She started walking away from him. He raised his hand to stop her. "Khushi please..." She flinched and shrank back her eyes suddenly filled with terror. He pulled his hand back shocked at how terrified she looked just at the possibility that he might touch her. "Kh-Khushi please I-I want to just talk to you..."

Sudden fury gripped her, She turned to face him, looking at him with pure loathing, "I don't speak to Rapists." She said her voice trembling with anger and disgust.

He felt something break painfully inside him, "Khushi no, no, you know, I-I never..."

"NEVER WHAT? Never what, Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada?" She yelled at him, "Are you disappointed that you never really got to complete what you started? Are you regretting that you couldn't punish me for something I never did? Or is it that you couldn't ENJOY me?"

"Khushi please I'm sorry.." He pleaded, his eyes stinging.

Her eyes flared in anger, "Sorry? Does that cover everything you did? You expect me to forgive you? Why Mr. Raizada? Do you honestly feel you deserve to be forgiven? Do you have any idea... Do you have any notion of what a girl's honour means to her? Just because you didn't complete the act, does it lessen the crime? Do you consider your self free of all blame?" There were tears running down her face but a strange current seemed to be running through her veins giving her strength to let out all that was choking her for the past weeks, "Tell me Mr. Raizada, do you consider yourself guiltless because you did not take away my virtue? But what about my innocence that you mercilessly crushed under your feet? What about the terror I feel when anyone touches me? What about my peace of mind that you brutally ravaged from me? What about the nightmare's that make me wake up screaming every night? Will you ever be able to make this right? You have turned me into a living corpse Mr. Raizada. You may not have raped my body completely but you did rape my soul, ripping it apart in the process. The scars you left on my body have faded with time but the ones on my soul will always be there forever."

"Then why didn't you tell anyone about what I did? Why didn't you punish me for my deeds?" He asked helplessly.

She had started to walk away but turned back to reply him, "You think I did that because I cared for YOU?" She laughed mirthlessly, mocking him, "Didn't you hear what I just said? I stayed quiet for MY honour. I stayed quiet for my family, they didn't have to go through this disgrace because of me. I will never ever forgive you. No matter how many times you apologise. It's never going to be enough. I CAN NEVER FORGET THE PAST..." She turned around & ran from there before he could say anything else.

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