Chapter 36

Chapter 32-Gurleen

She entered the house stealthily hoping to avoid the family.It had become a warzone since the roka with her veerji and mother on opposite sides of the battle lines.Pammi Parjaai played referee and as for her,she avoided conflict as much as she could,much to the other's chagrin.For the first time in her life,no one wanted to hear of her neutrality;they fought about her well being and happiness.

While she appreciated the gesture,they were several years too late.The damage was done the day her mother had decided to adopt her.She respected the woman for her decisions and strengths,but never could she forgive the emotional baggage they had thrust on her.At the end of the day, she was a Babbar pawn.

Her mother had been pleased with the acquisition of Brar jewellers and had grudgingly agreed to the wedding.She had mixed feelings regarding her mother;a mess she had no desire to sort through and invite additional heartbreak.Her veerji on the other hand was furious with her and refused to talk to her which led to her parjaai's intervention,a massive row and silent treatment since then.

She crept up the stairs and was almost at the door to her room when,

"Where do you think you're going?"

It was her mother.

Grimacing,she turned around to face the older woman.

"Mummy,to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

Her mother ignored her sarcasm.

"Gurleen,we need to talk.I want you in my study in five minutes."

She had no choice but to follow.

Once inside she parked herself in the comfiest armchair she could find and watched her mother pace.

"Next Tuesday is supposed to be your official induction as chairman when I announce my retirement.Why on earth did you request the board to postpone it? We've been preparing for this event for a long time."

"Mummy, let's be honest here.I'm not ready. Granted that I am qualified enough ,but I don't have any experience.That's why I suggested you postpone your retirement for a while and just announce my induction into the board as your successor.And who on earth would want a twenty four year old as a chairperson over other candidates on the board?"

Her mother sighed as she contemplated the argument.

"You don't have to worry about the board's approval.They are quite impressed with that stunt you pulled off by acquiring Brar jewellers.In fact Alka and the others are willing to guide you every step of the way when you settle in as chairperson."

"Isn't that unfair mummy?Promoting a green candidate to the post of chairperson without any credits to their name apart from shoddy blackmail.We're lucky daarji didn't attempt retaliation."

"But you did earn his approval, didn't you?Akaal Singh Brar respects very few people and genuinely cares for fewer.This is way better than threatening him into agreement.This marriage is more than a business deal to him.Which means, you'll have his protection in the future,both professionally and personally.And honestly, you've secured this company's future."

Gurleen pondered over her mother's words.Poonam Babbar never expressed her love unless she wanted something.She'd learnt that the hard way.Their last heart to heart conversation had been engineered to convince her to accept her inheritance.Her mother's praise sent the alarm bells ringing.

"What are you planning?"

To her credit,her mother at least had the decency to look chastised.

"Amrit and Pammi are planning to get a divorce after your wedding.Pammi is moving back to Amritsar while Amrit is thinking of shifting to Kolkata.A friend of his owns a publishing house and has agreed to look through one of his drafts.I am planning to go with him."

Gurleen felt numb,no matter how hard she tried ,she couldn't muster tears or anger.It felt as if her heart had stopped beating all together.

"Will you be happy?"she found herself asking.

"Yes,I think we'll be."

The dreamy smile on her mother's face was the final nail in the coffin.No matter how much her family professed to love her,she could never be a part of the happy future they had painted for themselves.

"Gurleen,please don't misunderstand me.I do love you a lot ...."

"But never as much as veerji.It's fine,I get it.",she found herself blinking away angry tears,refusing to break down in front of her mother.

"Oh Gurleen,no matter how hard we tree,we can't choose the way we love."

"Enough mummy.You may proceed with the event as planned next week.Just give me the details and I'll show up.I'll try to make the rest of your stay in Ludhiana peaceful.And one more thing,once you've gone to Kolkata,never contact me again."

Without a backward glance,she strode out of the study .

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The tears never came no matter how hard she tried.Even running her mother's words in a loop inside her head left her feeling detached.Her room seemed to spin around her as she took stock of her room .Her sarangi caught her eye.It had been one of her most prized possessions, the last gift from her father.Once upon a time,she had idolized the man ,looking at him through rose tinted glasses.Since the truth about her birth mother had come out,she couldn't bare to look at her sarangi ,let alone play it.

The instrument seemed to laugh at her,as if mocking her inadequacy and her shameful legacy.She was tainted as long as her father's blood ran in her veins,it seemed to say.In a sudden surge of anger she picked up the instrument and threw it onto the ground ,before methodically destroying it.As each piece came off ,a part of her seemed to die.After what seemed like aeons, she found herself on the floor,hands bloodied,surrounded by broken shards as tears finally streamed down her face.

After that, she knew nothing ,not even registering the dull ache as her head hit the floor.