Chapter-2: Ajabdeh's decision

Ajabdeh was walking aimlessly. Many thoughts were swirling in her mind. All of them of Kunwar Pratap. Was it her fault that she fell in love with him? Wouldn’t any girl in Ajabdeh’s position feel the same about him? The way he laughs, the way in which he talks, his eyes which reflected the burning fire of patriotism, his bravery and most importantly, his humility… these were the qualities which made her attracted towards him. If she, a Samant-putri can feel it, then is it not possible for Phool to feel the same?

After Phool’s confession she was heartbroken. Why was fate so cruel? All their lives they both liked different things. There was no one time where they both liked the same thing. She always thought it was lucky because they both never had to fight. Not that she would fight with Phool for anything. Phool was her saviour. She was the reason that her colourless life turned beautiful. Ajabdeh always believed that Phool was Kanhaji’s blessing. If Phool would not have come to her life she would not have known these many feelings which she felt at that time. She never told Phool but she was always indebted towards her. Her kindness, her cheerfulness, her stubbornness… What would have happened to her life if Phool hadn’t filled her with these?

Then, Kunwar Pratap came in her life. She saw a whole new world through his eyes. If Phool showed her the beauty of rose, Kunwar Pratap made her realise the loyalty of thorns. If Phool taught her to enjoy the refreshes of the rain, Kunwar Pratap made her to respect the roar of the thunder. If Phool shared her dreams with her, Kunwar Pratap encouraged her to dream some of her own… Maybe that’s where she should have stopped herself. She should not have let her heart dream. But just like the flowers bloom on the tree without the tree’s knowledge and then gradually cover the whole tree with flowers, her feelings took over her heart.

“Humko yadi aapke aur Kunwar Pratap me se kisi ek ke hith mein nirnay lena padjaye toh hum Kunwar Pratap ke bajaye aap ke hith mein nirnay lenge..Phool.. Naye sambandhon ke liye hum apne purane sambandhon ko undekhi nahi karenge”

She said what she had meant to do. At that time she never knew that her words had that much impact towards their future. They were both helpless puppets of fate. But now she have cut the strings which bound her. She knew that she could never remove these emotions from her heart but she could make sure that her emotions would not come out. She would not come in between Phool and her happiness.

“Daata… Aap…Aap yahan?” She stopped right in front of her room. Her father, Rao Mamrath Singh, was inside her room, reading a piece of paper. She recognised it as the one which Kunwar Pratap had sent her this afternoon.

“Yeh kya hai Ajabdeh?” Rao Mamrath asked holding the letter. His voice was stern.

Ajabdeh looked confused, “Jee Daata… yeh Kunwar Pratap ka sandesh hai humare liye. Ve humse koi aavashyak baat kehna chahte the…”

“Konsi aavashyak baat?” Raoji’s voice was getting dangerously high. “Aur ve aapko ‘akele’ aane ko kyun bula rahe the?”

Ajabdeh was getting scared. She started stuttering. “Woh..woh.. h..h..hum nahi j..ja..jante… ”

Slowly she explained whatever had happened in the mandap, omitting Phool’s confession. Raoji was after all a father. And father of an innocent girl like Ajabdeh was bound to feel anxious when he finds such a letter in her room. He was not suspecting his daughter nor was he thinking that Kunwar Pratap had questionable character. But still, it was not right for a young girl of her age should be alone with a young man as Kunwar Pratap.

He sighed. Ever since the reply from other Samants came urging him to continue with his strategy, he felt somewhat restless. No.. the reason for his restlessness was his wife. When she heard about his plans she was shocked to say the least.

“Aap yeh kya keh rahe hai Raoji? Phool aur Kunwar Pratap? Par Ajabdeh ka kya?”

She told him about her dream. She was sure that both Ajabdeh and Kunwar Pratap liked each other. He tried to make her see reality, but it was to no avail.

“Aapne abhi tak apni beti ke saath prem se do pal nahi bitaye.. aur ab aap unse unke bhavanavon ka balidan karne ki apeksha rakhte hai… khair… ve haste haste kar lengi … kyunki apne liye jeevan jeena unhone seekha hi nahi…parantu.. Kunwar Pratap? Ve? Humne dekha hain unke aankhon mein humare Ajabdeh ke liye prem… ve aapke iss vivah prastav ko thukarayenge. Aap dekhiye Raoji. ”

Ajabdeh’s attitude about the letter suggested him that she did not understand the implications of it. She was still naïve to understand what others could have twisted the meeting into.

He looked at his daughter. Even though, she was scared of him, he understood that she was telling the truth. That meant there was nothing between her and Kunwar Pratap… Yet…

He had to make a decision.

“Aap humare saath aayiye” he said and went out of the room.

He led her to the strategy room. She was hesitating to step inside the room. She was never allowed to come inside or even near this room, but that day as her father was the one who was asking her to come there, she felt that the topic they were going to discuss were something very serious. She felt somewhat unpropitious for the future.

“Darwaza bandh karke aajayiye.” Mamrath instructed. She did as she was told. Involuntarily she started twisting her hands.

“Yeh hain Mewar” said her father pointing towards a part in on the map. “Aur yeh hai Marwar” pointing towards other part. And he carried on. He explained the position of the entire Rajputana. The eminent danger of not just Afghans but also Mughals. How the Mughals were greedy and power hungry. How they would do anything to bring their enemies to their knees. How they were the puppeteers of their recent war with Boondi kingdom.

“Woh Mughal hume aaps mei ladvake hume vibhajith karke humari taakat kum karwana chahte hai.. Mewar sare rajputane ko ekrith karna chate hai parantu Marwar…”

He then started explaining the tensions between Mewar and Marwar. How these relation affect the lives of common people and the complications of a war. Ajabdeh listened to her father intently. She didn’t know the reason her father was explaining this to her but she trusted that her father would not do anything without a reason.

“Yeh sab rokne ke liye humare paas ek upay hai…” Mamrath paused. He now looked straight into her eyes. Her heartbeat increased slightly. Somehow she felt an ominous feeling.

“Kaisa upay? Daata?” She urged her father to continue while holding her heart to calm down the unknown dread creeping inside her.

“Kunwar Pratap aur Phool Kanwar ka vivah”

As soon as the words came out of her father’s mouth her whole world stood still. There was just too much information in her mind. Her feelings… Phool’s feelings… The problems of war… Rao Maldev’s unfair demands… plights of the common people… separated families in different kingdoms…The helplessness of Samants… Attacks on Kunwar Pratap’s life… Johur committed by the women… the Mughals and their limitless greed…the marriage of Phool and Kunwar Pratap…

She fell on the floor. She thought her feelings would have affected only the three of them but now, after hearing what her father said, she wholly understood impact of her feelings. Only if she knew… If she had known that harbouring such emotions, she was causing many people to suffer she would not have given herself this much lease. How could she be such a sinner?

Rao Mamrath saw his daughter broken on the floor. Just by this, he knew that extend of love which his daughter felt towards the prince. He knew that he would never be forgiven for hurting his daughter like this. Only if he was not a Samant… Only if he did not have a responsibility towards the people of Bijolia and Mewar… If he was a common man, whose primary responsibility was towards his family, then he would not have asked Ajabdeh what he was going to ask now. He hardened his heart and said,

“Udhiye Ajabdeh Punwar… Aap ek Kshatriya ki beti hai.. aise nirbal hokar girna aapko shobha nahi deta… Ek rajputani stree se kayee apekshaye rakhi jaati hai jinka koi sankalp bhi nahi kar sakta ho… Apne mann ko lohe ke baati sasakth kijiye… Ek purush ki shakti shareerikh aur ek stree ki shakti maanstik hoti hai.. Jab take eh stree ke mann sakth hai un par koi kuch nahi kar sakta.. Ud jaayiye Ajabdeh.. Ud jaayiye..”

Ajabdeh heard her father. Her father had never showed his love but that day his words proved her that deep down.. somewhere in his heart there was a place for her. He was motivating her to be strong. She closed her eyes. He was right. No force in the universe is as powerful as to defeat a woman whose mind was strong. A woman’s will power is the strongest. She can be patient as goddess Earth or as destroying as goddess Kali.

Ajabdeh stood up, her eyes still closed. She prayed Lord Krishna for strength in her mind and then opened her eyes.

Rao Mamrath saw the change in her eyes. Even though her eyes had tears in them, they had a flame inside them. The same flame which every soldier had when they went for war. The flame which lights love for their motherland. He at once knew that his daughter had made a decision.

“Daata..Aapne yaha rajputane ke ujwal bhavishya ke liye upay soch rahe hai aur waha hume aapke yojana ki saphaltha ka sanket mila.. Eklingli ki kripa se..” She said wiping her tears.

“Sanket?”

Ajabdeh said the words trying her best to smile “Haan Daata.. Phool Kanwar ne humse kaha ki ve Kunwar Pratap ke liye vishesh bhavanayen anubhoothith karti hai”

Rao Mamrath nodded. He knew that his daughter was going through a painful phase. He didn’t want to add more to her pain but he continued. He explained that Chittor had already began searching for an ideal princess for the Prince of Mewar. Princesses from all the kingdoms of Rajputana have been invited for Gangour Puja. He would like to send Phool Kanwar to Chittor but Ajabdeh herself have to decide if she want to go there or not.

“Agar aapko yeh vishwas hai ki aap Rajputane ki ujwal bhavishya me baadha nahi banegi toh aap jaa sakti hai.. parantu aapko agar aisa koi bhi shanka ho ki aap apne bhavanavon pe niyantran nahi rakh sakthe toh hum chahte hai ki aap Chittor na jaaye.. ”

Ajabdeh nodded. Rao Mamrath could not handle any more. Making the excuse that he had to start the preparation of Kunwar Pratap’s departure he left fast.

Next day, the Bijoliya Palace was bustling. Everyone were so busy preparing for departure. Phool Kanwar Rathore was creating tantrum after tantrum while Ajabdeh didn’t know if she had to leave for Chittor or not. She was in middle of organising Phool’s things when Kunwar Pratap came inside the room. The mere sight of him made her heart pain as though some one was squeezing her heart with a rope made of thorns. She tried to avoid him by folding some clothes in the trunk.

“Kunwar Pratap? Kuch kaam tha aapko?” She tried to make voice as normal as possible.

“Kaam?” For a moment it felt that Kunwar Pratap was so happy that her question confused him. Ajabdeh assumed that he must really be excited to meet his Ranimaa.

“nahi toh.. woh… humara matlab… yeh jo humara aabhushan hai..umm..uski ladi toot gayi hai…hume laga ki aap bana dengi ise..”

She turned to look at him. Why did she feel that he was not saying the whole truth?

“Matlab yadi yatra ke liye aap apna saara saamaan bandh chuki ho aur vyasth na ho..”

She felt her heart beat faster even when it was paining. Her eyes were not in her control. Any moment they may start crying. If she couldn’t control even her eyes would she really be able to control her heart.

She had to make a decision soon. She extended her hands to take the bajubandh.

“Dhanyawad” He said smiling brightly. She nodded and left the room.

Gauharjaan walked along the corridor cautiously as to not arouse suspicion. She had just come after meeting Shehanshah. When he heard that Phool’s marriage alliance was to be fixed with Kunwar Pratap, he was murderous. He planned to attack and kill Pratap on his way to Chittor. He had specifically instructed her to pass on any information on Pratap she found as soon as possible.

“Ab Shehanshah ko koi nahi rok sakta..”

She hit someone and both of them fell down.

“Kshema kariye.. Laalbaiji” came Ajabdeh’s voice. Gauharjaan looked up irritated. But as soon as she saw the girls eyes, she was shocked. She saw a painfully familiar flame in those eyes. The girl tried to pick up the pearls which fell from her hands.

She knew what it meant. She had the same flame in her eyes when she planned to live and die for Mughal Sultanate. The flame in her eyes was of patriotism.. the one which is lit by burning one’s heart. The assassin looked at the delicate girl who was still busy picking up the beads.

“Ya Allah! Inke aankhon mein qurbaani ki aag.. Itni choti umar mein hi inhe apne dil ko marna kyun pada hoga?”

Gauharjaan tried to help her in collecting the beads.

“Laal baiji… Aapke haath kyun kaap rahe hai?” Ajabdeh asked her.

Seeing this girl calmly preparing for the worst brought back many memories. Gauharjaan didn’t even know that these memories existed in her heart. The painful moments of her life one after the other until one day she decided to serve the emperor faithfully. Diving into depths of sin did not seem as appalling it should have been, because she was doing it for her kingdom which had saved her from an even worse hell.

“Kyunki… hume aisa laga ki hum bahut saalon baad apne aap ko phir se dekh rahe hai” she answered absentmindedly.

“Ardhath?” Ajabdeh was confused.

Gauhar came back from her reveries and smiled. Ajabdeh noticed that the smile did not reach her eyes.

“Ardhath kuch nahi baisa… chalte hain..” Saying this she walked away.

“Laalbaiji!” Ajabdeh called. She didn’t know why but for a moment she felt that Laalbaiji had some unknown connection with her. As though Laalbaiji felt her pain.

“Woh hum aapse ek prashn karna chahte hain…” She saw the dance teacher look at her expectantly.. “hume ek nirnay lena tha.. Hume samaj mei nahi aa raha ki kya kare aur kaise kare..”

“Nirnay toh aapne pehle hi le liya baisa..” Gauhar told her. Ajabdeh looked up in confusion. “Apne matrubhoomi ke seva karna ka nirnay...” She almost turned to move when she added, “Bhavanayen aag hoti hai..Baisa.. Aag ki bhanti kabhi shakti toh kabhi sarvavinash ban sakti hai … Aapko uss agniphere se door rehna chahiye…”

“Hum aapki madad nahi kar sakte Shehzaadi.. Mewar ke liye aap apne dil ko maara aur humne Mughalya sultanat ke liye apna rooh bech dala.. Hum dono ki sirf dushmani ho sakti hai..”

Gauharjaan patted her cheek and left Ajabdeh in her own thoughts.