Chapter 64

Smita,😊

Here is the interpretation to Part 14.

This update is about being agitated and various emotions coming to the fore, in a word BEING CHURNED.

When Khushi looked at Nandini, a middle-aged lady dressed simply in a white cotton saree and brown blouse, it was with trepidation. For, it was a new place and she was among strangers. She had wondered what was in store for her. Nandini asked her to come down in ten minutes as it was time for her to get acquainted with the head cook by name Bhavani Shankar Tiwari. Khushi who was already on tenterhooks, felt her heart gallop with fear, and a slight panic arose. She fretted would she be able to manage. Was she capable of doing this work to satisfaction? Nandini was looking a bit uncomfortable and with misgiving she hesitantly told Khushi, that Bhavani Shankarji was quick at losing his temper and asked her not to be scared if he scolds her. Khushi gulped hearing it she hardly dared to breathe. Nandini continued to tell her never to shed tears in front of him for he hates the sight of tears when he scolds people. Khushi got a jolt and felt her limbs lose their strength. She was told by Nandini to follow his words and do whatever he asks her to. If she does not know something she should ask him, for he was known to explain well, but just once. Nandini looked at Khushi sympathetically. Khushi dutifully bobbed her head. From what Nandini explained, Khushi understood that it would bode well to listen properly to whatever he says and toss her other thoughts aside lest she herself gets tossed up and down. She gave Khushi certain tips and they were to wash her face and hands thoroughly, dress in simple cotton clothes, and then come down. And she particularly asked her to remove her footwear before she enters the kitchen. Or he would... Nandini stopped at that without telling the new girl that he had made the last helper runaway without even stopping to collect his luggage! She did not want to scare away the new girl. Giving Khushi a kind smile she said, that she will be there too when she comes down. Khushi feeling her stomach tighten, was unable to say anything and just nodded in response as Nandini left giving her an encouraging smile.

Khushi hitched her sharp breath. She now knew she had to do well and could not give in to the flutters in her stomach. She had to adjust to the ways of Tiwariji and she could not shed tears. She had to put up a brave face and even if scolded, she could not show her distress on her face. She had to be expressionless. Just like her Arnavji... Her mind instantly filled with the thoughts of his past. Even when he was unable to understand the ways of the world, he had to harden himself and face it. He had taken charge of the family and worked hard for its welfare at a very young age. He, through his sweat had made everything that the family had today. First time when he cut a deal, he must have been a bundle of nerves. But knowing that he could not afford failure, as his family had placed its trust as well as its money on him he must have hidden his fear schooling his face deadpan. With her eyes closed, inhaling a deep breath and getting the strength from her thoughts on Arnavji, settling her nerves, she decided that she would be like him, never show her fear, she too would face the world on her own and manage to make a life for herself. With a quick wash of hands and face, she went down.

Bhavani Shankar Tiwari looked at the slip of a girl waiting to meet him. With her hair in a neat plait, her simple clothes and barefoot while entering the kitchen Khushi earned an appreciative nod as he waved her in. Khushi looked at the giant of a man, dressed in a white kurta and dhoti that shone brightly just as his closely-cropped grey hair were, sitting on a stool chewing paan. As she swallowed nervously and walked to stand in front of him, he told her in a firm voice, that three thousand children eat breakfast, lunch, tea, and dinner there. When Khushi indicated that she understood in a low yet clear voice with no trace of fear in it, he continued to say that there were three hundred teachers too and in addition another hundred ladies in janitorial services. He told her that he cooks for them all. He instructed that she was there to help him and asked her to do as she was told, adding, always, with it. Khushi just kept on giving, a yes, to him. He further asked her, to knot her hair into a bun when she enters the kitchen. His lists of do's and don'ts also included a warning that the kitchen should be as neat as the pooja room. He would not tolerate any untidiness. He asked her to put her hair into a bun and go down to help him make the dinner. As Khushi once again agreed to do as he said, he asked her what her name was. Her response, Khushi, received a nod and he said he hoped that she does not become 'dukhi' when she sees the amount of work that needs to be done by her. All through the ordeal, she hardly dared to breathe.

Soon Khushi found herself chopping the vegetables for dinner. She thought, had she been doing it at home, she would have popped a piece of cucumber or carrot in to her mouth and watched Kamlesh Khabri while she did her work. But this was Varanasi, and she was working under Tiwariji. It was important that she focused on the work at hand. Without really seeing him do so, she felt Tiwariji's eagle eyes inspect her work as he passed by. She felt him move away to check on the other fifteen ladies who were chopping vegetables too. She heard Tiwariji bellow out in anger at a woman, was that the way to cut the carrots? How many times had he told her to slice them thin? Was she cooking for some rakshas who can gobble up huge chunks? They were cooking for children. His children! If she cannot do as she was told, she could very well get out of there! The ire directed at some other women for sloppy work had Khushi tremble with fear. She chanted Arnavji's name mentally as she felt a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach, and reminded herself that he had faced a lot of things and then toughened. That was how he was able to achieve things in his life. Just this thought and knowing that he was always there for her, slowly made the fear ebb out of her and her arm steadied.

It was midnight when Khushi finished her work and after her night prayers, she eased her exhausted body on to her bed. She felt good to stretch after the back breaking first day and knew she will have just six hours of sleep before she had to get up to start the next day's work. Lying on the sheets that her Arnavji had bought for her, looking at the stars Arnavji had hung for her over the bed, her mind wandered to him. She thought that he must be on the way to Delhi, driving in the night and agonized whether he had his dinner and his medicines on time. She took out her phone and called him and at the first ring she heard his husky voice call out, Khushi..., making her tear up. She asked him in a wobbly voice whether he was driving. Becoming anxious, he told her he was and asked how she was doing? Without answering him, she asked, did he have his dinner and did he take his medicines? He answered that he did have both dinner and medicines and repeated his query tinged with urgency, how she was. Khushi sensing that he was worried about her, smiling through tears told him that she was fine and does he know that the kitchen was the domain of Bhavani Shankarji, a terror. As Arnav repeated, a terror, his voice was faint with dread, thinking what he had left her in! She told him that was what she said. With a smile she continued, that Tiwariji shouts at his helpers if they disobey him. His anger strikes fear in the heart and he is much disciplined. Seeing red, after hearing it, Arnav asked her did he scold her. Convulsed with anger that Khushi had to face such a situation, he thought how dare anyone scold Khushi? With a smile she placated him saying, no, he had not scolded her as she was very careful and the thought of getting scolded by Tiwariji does not hold any terrors for her as she was used to being shouted at by him.

Though she laughed out saying so, it made him grimace. As she began to tell that she was going to cut the call, Arnav could not let her do so. He was feeling lonely and the desolation of where his life was heading to, not knowing whether she would come back to him was making him feel butterflies in his stomach. He asked her why she was up so late. His turbulent mind swirled on thought did she have to work such long hours. Just the thought made him go pale. But Khushi cheerfully explained her days work. Once the food was cooked it was served by the waiting staff and the cleaning staff cleaned the utensils. But Tiwariji was particular that only she was to clean the kitchen, that too in accordance with his instructions. After that both Tiwariji and she, had arranged the utensils in their place and had set out the ingredients for breakfast. It was his way to break her into the work under his eagle eyed supervision. She told Arnav, while Tiwariji went to the temple to pray and then retire for the day; she had come up to her's. Her narration of how her day was, made Arnav fight back his tears. He asked her, would she be able to sleep-in that morning, knowing very well that it was not possible to do so. Khushi with a smile told him, that she has to be up at six.

When a thought struck her, her smile dwindled and asked him, could she tell him something? Arnav assured her, that she could say anything she wished. She began saying, that in the beginning, when she had to go down to meet Tiwariji, she was one scared body, extremely scared as Nandiniji had told her that he was very short-tempered. Then... and she paused. Arnav urged her to continue while his heart ached to hear that she had to face such a situation. She confessed that, and then she thought about him. Her words took him by surprise. She continued to say, when he started out very young and alone he must have been scared, really scared out of wits to attend his first meeting and tried to make his first deal. As Arnav agreed with her he had to swallow a lump in his throat recalling the feeling and that he did feel so he would admit it only to Khushi and to no one else. She continued saying that, he must have kept his face cold and deadpan, as he did what had to be done. When he confirmed it to be so, she told him that, he succeeded through his hard work, and today he is able to give his family a secure life. She wants to be like him, capable of facing every difficulty bravely, capable of overcoming every hurdle... Khushi's honest confession moved him and felt his chest tighten. It had a tear escape his eyes, down his cheek. Khushi told him that she needed to sleep now or else she will not be able to get up when the alarm rings. If she was late, Tiwariji would butcher her and it would end up with him just becoming a widower. As Arnav wished her goodnight in a wobbly voice, Khushi said softly, slowly, that it feels so strange to sleep alone... Arnavji... and she slipped in to sleep. Hearing it, the next tear coursed down his cheek, feeling her loneliness, feeling his loneliness, feeling bitter at what his deeds did to an innocent girl, feeling remorse for leading his Khushi make a decision to uproot, away from all the known faces and break her back with work. Though she was resilient, for him there was no respite. He would forever repent for putting her through his hatred drill. Blinded by his love for his Di, blinded by the thought that he had been betrayed, he was unable to see the selfless love of Khushi, he was unable to see the true Khushi and even after she had put her life at stake he had accused her of being the root cause of his Di's trouble knowing very well it was not so. He had taken out his anger on that chit of a girl at every chance and now the very same girl was deriving strength from her thoughts on him, and putting him on a pedestal by trying to emulate his strength. What an irony! For his deeds any amount of repentance was never going to be enough! This was the Arnav Singh Raizada, upset with himself, heading back to Delhi, with repentance in his heart in full swing.

That is why this update is titled as BEING CHURNED.

"The jewel emerged from the water, when the mountain of gold was used to churn it"

~ Sri Guru Granth Sahib

That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.

rulama2013-09-01 05:23:43