Chapter 33
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OS 2: Finding Khushi
Part 13
Section 3
He sat by her for the good part of the night, gently smoothing unruly strands of hair from her forehead, touching the softness of her cheeks, covering her with her red & blue blanket, curling his fingers into hers...
Buaji and the others sat in the living room, taking turns to check on the pair at intervals. Buaji called Nani to inform her that Arnav Bitwaa was in her house, sitting watch over Khushi... Nani, Anjali, & Mami joined their hands in prayer...
Payal and Amma took Arnav tea & snacks. He nodded his thanks, but did not let go of Khushi's hand.
Amma looked at Buaji, helpless. Buaji said, "Hai Re Nandkisore!" and fanned herself.
Khushi woke up around dawn.
She felt warm and loved. Light. Weightless like a balloon. As though she could fly away any moment... She smiled and stretched her limbs in pleasure, and then opened her eyes.
Arnav Singh Raizada was sitting on her bed, by her side, looking down at her, a warm look in his eyes...
Her eyes widened to rival saucers. Memories of her pushing him against the wall, shaking him by the collar, shouting her anguish at him... crying all over him... letting him glimpse the ocean of sorrow and pain in her... flashed through her mind's eye. She had left nothing unsaid. Khushi cringed to think of how she had revealed her heart to him...
She sat up with a jerk, pulling the blanket tighter around her.
"Marry me, Khushi." He pulled the blanket away from her. She tried to pull it back, but to no avail.
"No." She tried to get off the bed. He blocked her.
"Khushi... I am... I am very sorry... very sorry.. for hurting you. Not just on Diwali night. For every time. I am sorry for every word that hurt you. For making you cry...", Arnav stammered.
Khushi turned her head away.
Her dupatta was missing. She looked around. It was by her on the bed, one edge trailing on the ground. She quickly pulled it up & hung it around her neck.
"It is time for you to leave.", she said, her face & voice expressionless. "Your family will be wondering where you are."
"Khushi... I didn't mean to hurt you...", he started.
"If Buaji finds out that you are here...", Khushi threatened.
"She saw me sitting here, by you.", Arnav said.
Khushi's mouth and eyes widened into big 'O's.
"Khushi...", he started again.
She pushed him away, and jumped out of bed. Arnav stood up slowly.
"This is Laxmi Nagar, not RM. You are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Go home, Mr. Raizada.", she said, trying to gather the remnants of her tattered dignity together.
"Marry me, Khushi."
"How many times should I tell you that I won't? How many times should I refuse you? Why can't you let me live in peace? Why can't you understand the word 'No'?", she pretended anger.
Arnav caught her by her shoulders and hauled her close to him.
"Because I love you, dammit!", he bit out.
They stood staring at each other, panting. His fingers on her shoulders trembled.
A few moments later, Khushi managed to free herself. She moved back.
"But you don't believe in love.", she said, her eyes on his.
"I didn't know what love was.", he said softly.
"You don't believe in marriage.", she said, her breath hitching at the look in his eyes.
"Nothing but marriage will do now.", he whispered.
"People change. Couples grow apart...", she repeated his words.
"I will never let you go away from me...", he murmured.
"It is impossible for two people to live together for ever...", she quoted him.
"It is impossible for both of us to live apart...", he countered.
"My aukat...", she began.
"I don't give a damn!"
Khushi raised her eyebrow, pretending surprise.
"My middle-class mentality...", she reminded him.
"I am thankful for it.", he sighed.
"I am too poor for you.", she looked him in the eye.
"I am rich enough for both of us.", he said.
Khushi laughed, but without mirth, her lips twisting in a grimace.
"I don't trust you.", she said, finally.
Arnav gulped. "I will make you trust me.", he said.
"The world does not revolve according to your resolve, Mr. Raizada.", she said wryly.
"I know. But I will make you trust me. And I promise..."
"I don't want your promises...", Khushi said.
"I will never hurt you again, Khushi. Not by a word. Not by an action..."
Khushi laughed. "You will find it very difficult to be such a good boy after being a spoilt brat all your life!"
Arnav smiled. "Just give me time, Khushi. I promise I will make you trust me."
Khushi shook her head.
Arnav felt her small hand close around his heart.
"You used to hug her and your eyes would be on me. Then you touched me and ran away to propose to her. You were about to get engaged to her but you cancelled it and came to propose to me..." Khushi clutched her head. "You make me dizzy. With your impetuous ways and sudden, unpredictable decisions. And all taken without counting the cost to others. Not caring about the upheaval you cause in the lives of others..."
"Khushi..."
"Don't say 'sorry'. Words are easy... maybe not for you... but they are easier than acting on them..."
"Khushi..."
"Naniji should have taken a stick to you when you threw tantrums in your childhood...", she said thoughtfully. "I wish Lavanyaji had atleast 4 brothers to teach you a lesson you would never forget... Atleast that would make you think twice before you looked at another girl and offered her a live in ...", she paused.
Arnav stared at her, feeling the hurt hidden behind her simple words.
"Chodiye! What is the use of wishing for things that will never happen?", she sighed.
"Would you like to hit me, Khushi? Will it make you feel better?", he asked softly.
Khushi smiled. It was more a grimace than a smile.
"I am not your Nani. Or your Amma. Or your Di. It is not my job to punish you for bad behaviour and lack of manners."
Arnav stared at her for long moments, her hurt reflected in his eyes.
"Tell me.", Khushi finally asked. "How will you tell Lavanyaji that you have proposed to me?"
Arnav stared at her.
"Or were you planning to take the coward's way out and not tell her?"
Arnav had no reply to give.
"How do you think she will feel?"
He had no reply. Again.
"She believed that you hated me, just as I did. She believed that I was helping her to fit into your life... that I was clearing the path to make her your wife. Just as I did. Then when she finds out that you are in the process of proposing to me, how do you think she will feel?"
Arnav's mouth was dry.
"Cheated? Betrayed? Tricked? Made a fool of?", Khushi gave him options.
Arnav sat down.
"Don't her tears mean anything? She must have cried all the way to London... alone... Her parents must have asked her why her sagai did not take place... Her friends must have asked her... Or does the fact that she wears short clothes and believes that people can live together without marriage make her hard hearted?"
Arnav met her eyes. His eyes were red & moist.
"Are you sure you have done the right thing by choosing me over Lavanyaj... this time? Maybe you should meet her again. It will help you make up your mind.", Khushi smiled wryly.
"I know what I want, Khushi. You. And only you." His voice revealed his determination. "I love you. Only you. And I will marry you. However long it takes. I will make you trust me."
Khushi looked at him.
"But you are right. I need to apologise to Lavanya. I didn't think... In trying to push you out of my life, I hurt her. I was so busy running away from my feelings for you, that..." He shook his head in self-disgust. "I should apologise to her. I will."
Khushi nodded.
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