Chapter 52

Khushi blinked her eyes open with great difficulty as the first rays of sun hit her eyelids through the peeks of the heavy curtains covering the glass sliding doors leading to the small verandah overlooking the small patch of backyard of Nikunja. She rubbed the knuckles of her left hand over her lest eye & when she felt the rough scrub of something on the tender skin of her eyes, she held her hand away from her eyes to see what caused the friction, & her eyes fell on the neat strip of white gauze wrapped & tied securely on the ring finger of her left hand. & she instantly remembered everything.

..That collage in your room.. That you smiled, & laughed, & breathed & lived, & I wasn't a part of that.. I want to be there to see you laugh, & live..

Khushi threw the quilt back from her body as she abruptly jumped up to a sitting position, & after staring at the collage over her study table for several long seconds, she jumped out of bed & running towards the collage, she stopped directly in front it, studied it critically for a brief moment, & then hastily started taking off snapshots out of it. When she was convinced she had removed enough of them, she rearranged the remaining snapshots a bit, which still contained the faces of all the important persons in her life, & then she left a big empty space in the middle of the board for the picture Arnav orchestrated last night & then, before going off to the washroom to freshen up she suddenly laughed to herself & impulsively leaned over her study table & pressed a kiss to the empty space in the middle of the collage board.

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Khushi came down to have a late breakfast, & as soon as she entered their kitchen, she was bombarded with a 3-way attack. While Madhumati scolded her for being tardy, Garima expressed her annoyed concerns about her state of going being without food for this late & Payal good-naturedly teased her saying, she was bride & hence she should be the one investing in beauty sleeps so that she looked radiant for all the functions, not Khushi!

While Khushi was about to give a quick retort to Payal, Madhumati came & slapped her on the shoulder hard, as she lamented loudly, "Who'll marry this Sanka Devi?! I have exhausted myself while telling her to start behaving like a sensible, dignified girl, just like Payaliya! What on earth possessed you to parade in that Choli for half of the function? Payal & you told us, you'd have it altered suitably after you first showed that to us!"

& at her reminder, Khushi thought back to how, after being in each other's arms for Devi Maiyya knows how long, Arnav had finally gotten up with Khushi still in his embrace. Then he had gently pulled her down the stairs, & on the 2^nd floor, he had told her to grab a Shawl for herself while he waited for her outside her room. & then when they had come to the ground floor, just inside the main door, he had draped the Shawl securely around her shoulders, pressed a kiss to her forehead & throwing a quick, "'Night, Red!", then leaving her behind, he had gone out of Nikunja. When she had eventually gone back to the marquee again, a slightly grumpy Anjali had informed her that Arnav had had enough of the crowd & noise for the night & he had retired to Shantivan.

She came back to the present as Buaji thumped down a plate full of Paranthas & Dahi in front of her & said commandingly, "Now kindly finish it all!.. Nand Kissore ki krippa se, you finally felt cold enough or, I'd like to believe, you had the good sense to drape the Shawl around yourself.." & all of Buaji's rants faded for Khushi as she slowly put a mouthful of Dahi soaked Parantha in her mouth, tasting nothing in particular.

..& these people.. Gulping you down with their eyes? It makes me go to a dark place within myself, that I just wanna kick & punch!..

Khushi was stuffing her mouth with mouthful after mouthful of food & thinking about the feel of his arms around her, & how he had pressed his face to her neck & how he had actually seemed to stay there with her in his lap forever, when she came out of her thoughts with a start when she heard Garima saying something taking Arnav's name. Perking her ears up, Khushi kept her face carefully emotionless as she heard Garima was lamenting over how Arnav left abruptly last night & how it saddened Anjali for a while & even Rohan got a bit subdued for sometime. & Khushi abruptly closed her eyes as suddenly she could feel his words washing over her as if he was just sitting by her side right then & whispering in her ears.

..I just wanted you alone with me. & I often seem to want you alone with me, at frequent intervals, & once I want that, it's the only thought that dominates my mind, driving all other thoughts away!.. if I've hurt you.. if I am the reason for your unhappiness, I'd go away!.. you'll never be miserable because of me again!..

& Khushi could take no more. She just had to hear his voice for real, before he created any more havoc inside her head. She abruptly jumped to her feet, & ignoring the amalgamated shouts of protests that issued from her mother, Aunt & sister, she mumbled something about having to call La to confirm about not having any due assignment during the weddings' week & ran out in the hallway with her phone in her hand. She smiled looking at the name she had assigned to him on her phone, 'Laad Governor'. Then she dialed his number hurriedly & waited for him to pick up her call while biting on the nails of her right hand.

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Arnav was in a monthly general management meeting with his various department heads, Akaash, Aman & Mamaji, when he saw his iPhone's display flashing 'Red' silently. He stared at it for a while & then he ran his hand through his hair in a casual manner as he surreptitiously looked at the faces around the oval conference table. Everyone was listening to the C.O.O of accounts department Mr. Shinde with undivided attention, as Arnav himself was doing until 3 seconds ago. He debated letting the call be a missed one, & immediately something inside him protested with a pang. He'd get to hear her voice for the first time for that day. & once he wasn't thinking about it, it was OK, but now that he knew she was calling him & he only had to press 'accept' to hear her voice & feel her on the other side of the phone, he couldn't see how he was expected to just pass that up, no matter how tied up at the moment he might have had been. Arnav held up the index finger of his right hand in a 'give me a moment' gesture, & when everyone, including Mr. Shinde turned towards him, he had no option but to lie, as he mumbled, "It's important. I have to take it." As everyone nodded their heads in a very understanding manner, Arnav felt annoyed at the way even his hushed words had seemed to carry themselves to the far end of the big conference room due to its special structural design.

He answered the call & said in a carefully businesslike tone, "Hello!" & he wasn't nearly ready for the blast of happy adulation that hit him from the other side as he heard Khushi's scream, & prayed that the sound didn't carry outside the phone as Khushi ambushed him with, "Arnavji.. I miss you so much!" Arnav immediately felt a grin breaking out on his face, & feeling at least 6 pairs of eyes focused on his face, he stopped the grin mid-ways, & slowly turned the remaining half-smile into a scowling expression by biting on the side of his lower lip thoughtfully as he said as quietly as he could without seeming suspicious, "That's good news. That development is certainly to my satisfaction." He nodded his head for better effect as he heard her instant whine, "But- Don't you miss me?" She sounded annoyed at his formal tone, & Arnav immediately said before any misunderstandings happened, "I am in a meeting right now. But I'll get back to you on this matter as soon as I can." There was a note of promise in his voice as he finished, & in answer he heard her childish giggles, as she asked playfully, "Oh, meeting? I was in one too.. Well, not meeting, class! Amma & Buaji were taking my class for wearing the shortest Choli in Gupta family's history, so I left them to come & call you!"

Arnav pursed his lips to stop another grin from breaking out at her triumphant tone at being able to escape her Amma & Buaji & said encouragingly, "Great job! I like it when people can take fearless decisions without much hesitation." He nodded his head seriously for his viewers' benefit, all of whom seemed to be too interested in his sudden business call. But his attention was abruptly diverted to his phone as he heard Khushi yelling through it in an annoyed tone, "Shut up with the business crap.. Tell me na, that you've missed me too?" It was a wish that Arnav didn't want to leave unfulfilled, but as he again looked up, he saw that now even Mamaji & Akaash were looking at him with distinct interests on their faces, & he whispered in a commanding voice keeping his face straight, "Behave!" & he heard her gasp of disbelief almost instantly as she asked incredulously, "You reproached me?! Are you complaining that I called you during a meeting??!! Don't you want me to call you?" She sounded so petulant by the end of it, that Arnav just stopped himself at the very last moment from calling out to her as 'Red'.

Arnav looked up at the room full of people again, now angry at all of them for their presence & disturbance during this very enjoyable call, & said in a carefully ceremonial voice, "I am appreciating that, this conference has been done entirely to my satisfaction. I will call you with the remaining details later. & it's been an absolute pleasure doing business with you." & before Khushi could chew his head off for boring her with his 'business crap', he cut the call & instantly looked up at Mr. Shinde to signal him to resume his statement again.

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Arnav sat in his empty cabin, twirling the spectacular Golden ring between the thumb & index finger of his right hand as he recounted everything he had said to Khushi last night. He remembered each & everything as clearly as if they were recorded in some cam-corder in his mind & the more times it replayed itself, the more frequently Arnav flinched at what she had called herself. He stopped twirling the ring & held it up before his eyes. Maybe he won't throw it out, as it still reminded him of her whenever he saw it, but after what it had made her go through.. Arnav clenched his jaw, & decided, it'd have to go into oblivion inside that shoebox with her broken pair of shoe, where no one would ever see it again.

Then he pondered on what all he had said to her. Arnav shuddered as he remembered how he had felt when he had seen her finger bleed with the savagery of her actions to get the ring off of her finger, how he had felt when she had thrown it at his face. How he had felt, when each step he had taken down the stairs had carried him away, further away, from her, & also when she had tried to snatch her fingers away from his hold. & at that moment, when he had felt Khushi pulling away from him, physically & emotionally, he had felt desperate for the first time in years. It was how he had felt when he had seen his mother sprinting fast up the spiral staircase to the roof of Sheeshmahal, & when he had heard the shot. He had learned the extreme form of desperation & helplessness that day, to know that something horribly wrong was happening in your world, & you were too late to stop it. & he had almost felt close to it last night. & he admitted to himself, right at that moment, crouching in front of her, he'd have said just about anything to stop her from distancing herself from him. But to his credit, he realized now, in the broad daylight, after a lot of brooding during an important business meeting, that everything he had told her last night, without any prior thoughts or planning, were all true. & to his discredit, it scared the living daylights out of him.

He was now ready to acknowledge that, Khushi made him want to rise above his lying, cheating genes. She made want to fight his DNA. She made him feel like a better version of himself, more a part of his mother's existence than his father's, when he was with her. But he hated it that, in return, he made her feel so insecure & small about herself. Yes, it was true, that he felt jealous & possessive like he had never felt before in his life about her. But the bad news was, it made him want to commit murders. Yes, he wanted to be a part of her life, but he could see how he was already turning her so-far-tranquil life upside down within such a short span of time. & yes, he definitely hated it, when she cried.. he never wanted her to cry. He'd do anything to have her not cry, but in reality, most of the time he had seen her distressed or crying, it had been about him or directly because of him.

Arnav jerked his head up agitatedly from the headrest of his revolving chair & clutched the armrests tightly to contain the violent urge to throw everything fragile in the room towards the walls. Why did this thing with Khushi had to be such a double edged sword, cutting him every way in which he wanted to hold it in his hands? & before he could derive a satisfying answer to that question, he saw with additional irritation that Aman was entering his cabin with a thoughtful expression on his face, & before Aman could start talking at all, he snapped at him, "Not now, Aman!" He saw Aman stop in his tracks at his bark, & after a moment's hesitation, Aman backtracked in his steps, but before he went out of the cabin altogether, he warned in a rush, "ASR, I think you'd want to hear this. It concerns Karan Kapoor &.. your.. Sorry, I mean, Khushiji."

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Khushi ran towards the front door as soon as she heard the doorbell ring, & when she was almost at the door, she felt someone forcefully holding her back by clutching onto her right elbow, & as she was swung around in a jerky movement, she saw her Buaji's nervous face, as Madhumati busied herself with straightening Khushi's hair with her palms, & then she adjusted Khushi's dress unnecessarily while muttering, "Would it hurt you to wear a Salwaar-Suit every now & then, Sanka Devi, without any functions or poojas?" & then not even waiting for Khushi to answer, she turned, went to open the door hastily to welcome a formidable-looking male in his late twenties into the house, & then after briefly answering his respectful Namaste with an absentminded Namaste of her own, she turned abruptly towards Khushi, & holding Khushi by both her shoulders, she introduced Khushi to the man with great importance, "This is my niece. The youngest in our family. Khussi!" & then nudging Khushi's shoulders to make her bend in a proper Namaste, she announced to Khushi very significantly, "Titaliya, inse milo. He is Syam Babuwa." & as Khushi looked up at the man with mildly curious eyes, smiling politely all the while, the man clasped his hands in a very proper Namaste & smiled widely at her as he reintroduced himself, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Khushiji. & I would be Shyam. Shyam Manohar Jha."

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