Chapter 38

Arnav entered their hotel suite a couple of minutes after Khusi and the scene before him squeezed the air out of his lungs. Khusi was standing on a stool on the bed and had tied a saree to the ceiling fan and was not tying the saree around her neck. He screamed her name "KHUSIII.." and running to her pulled her down from the stool.

Arnav: "ARE YOU MAD? WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO?"

Khusi: "LEAVE ME... I WANT TO DIE... I DON'T WANT TO LIVE..."

Arnav: "Khusi... Khusi... what had happened to you? Why are you behaving this way? Listen to me..."

Khusi: "What is left to listen?? Tell me what is left to listen... my husband doesn't love... he goes on hugging random girls... what is there left for me... it is better to die than to live with the betrayal of my husband."

Arnav holding her close: "Khusi... I love you a lot. More than anyone. And I can never betray you... in fact I can never think of betraying you. And that girl was not any random girl, it was lavanya..."

Khusi: "...with whom you were interested in having a live-in-relationship."

Arnav: "Khusi, you know it was all an act..."

Khusi: "That is what you said... but your actions never showed that... the way you fought with naniji for her..."

Arnav: "It was all an act dear... I don't have any feelings for her... in fact I never had."

Khusi: "But she has... I heard her... she loves you..."

Arnav: "BUT I DON'T..."

Khusi: "And that is why you were hugging her... she loves you and you were hugging her... Please leave me, I don't want to live..."

Arnav hugging her tight: "Khusi, listen to me. I.only.love.you.no.one.else... I never felt anything for any other girl that I feel for you. You are my wife, my life... and talking about me hugging Lavanya, she is a good friend of mine. Nothing else. She just wanted to hug me once and that is why I hugged her. I have no feelings for her."

Khusi looking up to him: "You don't love her." (Arnav shook his head) "...you feel nothing for her."

Arnav: "I have told you before and telling you again, I love only you no one else."

Khusi: "I thought you don't love me... I don't want to live without your love..."

Arnav: "I will love you always Khusi... you are my lifeline, main tumhare bina nehi ji paunga." They stayed in the hug for some time and then Arnav said: "Agar aaj tumhe kuch ho jata na, to mein bhi nehi ji pata... apne aap ko mar dalta."

Khusi smiled slightly against his chest and in a slow whisper said: "Aap apne aap ko maar dalte?" getting a nod from Arnav she again said: "Papaji ne bhi wohi kiya hoga na?"

Arnav: "haan... What!! Papaji kya??"

Khusi moving out of the hug: "Aapne abhi kaha na, ki agar hume kuch ho jata to aap apne aap ko mar dalte... kyun? (before Arnav could answer) ...kyunki aap humse bohot pyaar karte hain... aap hamare bina nehi ji payenge. Isliye na?"

Arnav: "Haan..."

Khusi: "Papaji bhi Mama se bohot pyaar karte the... aur woh bhi mama ke bina nehi ji paye... isliye unhone apne aap ko mar dala."

Arnav: "What are you saying?"

Khusi: "You know what I am saying... it is just that you don't want to understand it."

Arnav in an angry tone: "Khusi, if you are talking about my parents then let me tell you, I heard them arguing with my own ears... mama had seen him with a woman."

Khusi: "Like I had seen you."

Arnav: "Yes. No... What are you implying at Khusi?"

Khusi: "Think Arnavji. If Papaji really had an affair with another lady then why did he kill himself? After Mama's death he could have enjoyed his life but he didn't because he couldn't bear that his wife killed herself because of him."

Arnav: "He never loved Mama..."

Khusi: "Like you never loved me?"

Arnav: "What the hell Khusi. Why are you bent on comparing me with that Man."

Khusi: "That man is your father Arnavji... you are not trying to see the truth because of your impression that it was your father who was responsible for the death of your mother."

Arnav: "That is because he is."

Khusi shaking her head: "Forget that Arnavji... Now you tell me. What if I have killed me today? Who would have been responsible for my death?"

Arnav: "Khusi..."

Khusi: "You wouldn't have been responsible Arnavji, because what I saw and thought was a misunderstanding... you were not having any affair with Lavanya but it was my perception and I decided to kill myself. And if I would have died then you too would have killed yourself. Isn't it?"

Arnav: "Hmm."

Khusi: "Same was the case with Mama and Papaji."

Arnav: "Meaning?"

Khusi: "I am not sure. Probably Mama saw Papaji with some lady and misunderstood the situation. And before he could make her understand, she killed herself and not being able to take the guilt that his wife died because of him, he too killed himself."

Arnav in a very slow voice: "You mean to say it was all a misunderstanding that led them to end their lives?"

Khusi: "That is what I believe."

Arnav: "What makes you to believe it?"

Khusi: "Because a man will never kill himself for his wife if he doesn't love her with all his heart. Had Papaji had an affair with any other lady, after Mama's death he could have easily married and lived with her but he didn't because he loved mama from the core of his heart. Separation from her was not acceptable to him... (Arnav was listening to her intently) ... you tell me Arnavji, have you ever felt Papaji doesn't love Mama? Have you ever felt that Papaji was cheating on Mama? Did you ever feel that Papaji is lying? Did you feel anytime that he doesn't love you and Di?"

Arnav stayed silent for some time and then slowly shook his head and in a very slow voice said: "He always showered me and Di with love. He loved spending time with us. It never felt that he doesn't love us. He did love Mama but that day..."

Khusi: "It was all a misunderstanding Arnavji. I am sure about that."

Arnav: "If it was a misunderstanding, then why didn't he clear it all? Why did he kill himself?"

Khusi: "You only told me Arnavji, that day before Papaji could say anything Mama jumped off the balcony. And then Papaji couldn't live with the guilt even for a moment and that is why he killed himself. In fact both Papaji and Mama loved each other a lot. Only problem was that Mama lost her trust on Papaji for once and that led to all these."

Arnav: "Do you really think Pa... papa was innocent?"

Khusi: "Yes, he was. You think yourself Arnavji. You will get the answer."

Arnav sat on the bed in deep thought and Khusi knew she should leave him alone for sometime so that he can think and analyse, so leaving his side she went to change into a night dress. When Khusi came out after changing she saw Arnav sitting in the same position and his eyes fixed on the floor and were red, which was enough for her to understand that he was in lot of pain.

She went towards him and sat beside her and before she could say anything Arnav feeling her presence beside him said: "Papa was always my hero... I loved him a lot... was so proud of my name, I would proudly say everyone that I am Arnav Arvind Mallick... but that fateful day changed everything... I began to hate him, so much that I dropped his name from mine... 14 years Khusi... (Chocking with tears) ...14 years of my life I had spent hating him... he was not at fault... I had known him from my birth, but still I trusted some random woman above him... I am really bad Khusi... Papa was so proud because I was his son but I... I am not a good son Khusi... I am not..."

Khusi wanted to say something but felt it is better if she lets him take out all the pain that he is feeling. Arnav continued: "...I hate myself... I couldn't be a good son... I should have tried to clear his name but no... I was busy hating him so much that I couldn't think of anything else... whole life I have only got love from him and in return what I gave was... I am really bad."

Khusi: "No Arnavji..."

Arnav: "Khusi... I hate both my parents... both of them... they never thought about me or Di... Mama thought Papa betrayed her and she killed herself and Papa couldn't take the guilt and he too killed himself... they never thought about us... they never thought what would happen to me and Di... we would become orphans but they didn't care..."

Khusi: "Aisa nehi hai Arnavji. They loved you and Di a lot. You two were the symbol of their love. How can you think that they didn't love you?"

Arnav: "Because they didn't think about us before killing themselves."

Khusi: "Arnavji... A woman, if she loves anyone the most then it is her husband, she can tolerate anything but can't bear the fact that she would share her husband with someone else... same happened with Mama. She was so broken that day that she couldn't bear to live with that pain and hence she killed herself... I am sure, that day before jumping off the balcony she hadn't seen you or Di... had she had a single glance of your or Di's face she would have never killed herself because she would have got strength from you and Di but that didn't happen and she killed herself ans same was the case with Papaji also... but trust me Arnavji, they did really love you a lot."

Arnav: "Khusi, if it was all a misunderstanding, then who was that lady with whom Mama had seen Papa?"

Khusi: "That you will need to find out. It is your duty because you are your father's son. You have to clear his name... You will do it, won't you?"

Arnav standing up and with determined voice: "Yes. I WILL."

Khusi: "I trust you. I know you will be able to do it... right now change and sleep. It is already too late."

Arnav nodded and went to change and when he came out, Khusi had set the bed and was lying on it. He joined her and looking at her said: "Khusi, tumhe pata hai... when I was small I used to sleep on Papa's stomach... he never complained... (Smiling at the memory) Di and Mama would pull me away but I was very adamant and at the end Papa would tell them that he loves it when I sleep on him."

Khusi smiled and said: "It seems he pampered you a lot..."

Arnav: "Ya... I was the youngest one in the family. Every day I would wait for Papa to return from office, so that I could narrate him all the days happenings and also ask him to scold each and everyone who had refused me anything throughout the day... starting from the servants to Mama and Di too... and you know, when in vacations Mama would bring us to Delhi, I would throw a lot of tantrums because I never wanted to leave Papa and come to Delhi... when I would be in Delhi, he could call us regularly and I would never let anyone else talk to him..."

He went on narrating lot many memories of his parents and Khusi silently heard and responded to everything with equal enthusiasm, because probably for the first time after the death of his parents he was remembering those good memories. After a long time Arnav fell asleep and Khusi kissing his forehead whispered: "It was so nice to listen to Arnav Mallick than the ASR... I just hope you are able to clear Papaji's name soon."

In Morning

When Arnav woke up, Khusi was sitting beside him with a cup of tea and absentmindedly stroking his hairs. He thought about the happenings of last night and moving from the pillow laid his head on Khusi's lap as a result of which Khusi's attention was shifted to him.

Khusi: "Arnavji... aap jag gaye... chaliye uth jaiye aur taiyar ho jaiye."

Arnav: "Thanks Khusi."

Khusi: "Thanks for what?"

Arnav: "For making me see the truth... for making me realise that I was wrong all those years... for everything Khusi." Khusi just smiled and he asked: "Khusi, will you answer a question... (Getting a nod from her) ...what made you believe that Papa was innocent? Why are you so sure that whatever happened that day was all a misunderstanding?"

Khusi: "It was very simple Arnavji. When you told me that day at the mental asylum that Papaji killed himself because of guilt, at that moment only I knew that he has to be innocent. Because only a man who loves his wife with all his heart, with all his being, can only think of killing himself. Killing one's own self is never easy... someone has to go through a severe emotional breakdown to take that step... In Papaji's case it was the broken trust of Mama and her committing suicide that led him to take this extreme step... And then when you told me about Dadiji's rant about someone trying to kill you, then I was confirmed that it was someone's plan to destroy the Mallick family... Someone out there is responsible for all these... Might be that lady with whom Mama had seen Papaji was a pawn or was involved in it... it all happened on Di's wedding... the wedding broke... Mama and Papa killed themselves... you and Di were thrown out of Sheesh Mahal... the condition of Dadiji... it all leads to one conclusion. That all those were planned..."

Arnav: "Agar tumhe pehle hi yeh sab pata chal gaya tha to tumne mujhe pehle kyun nehi bataya?"

Khusi: "Humne kai baar kosish ki... par tab aap unse itni nafrat karte the ki sunna bhi nehi chahte the... isliye jab hum Paris ke liye nikle tabhi humne soch liya tha... ki yahan par aisa koi moka jarur ghundege aur aap ko ye sab batange... aur kal jab humne Lavanyaji ko aapke saath dekha tab humne soch liya tha ki hume kya karna hai."

Arnav sitting up: "WHAT THE...!! Yesterday all that you did was a drama?" (Khusi smiled mischievously) "...were you out of your mind? Agar tumhe kuch ho jata to? Agar mein waqt pe nehi ata to?"

Khusi: "Ohho Arnavji... you are worrying unnecessarily. I had no plan to kill myself. Had I planned to kill myself, I wouldn't have left the door open and neither would I have left that saree on the fan without tying a knot... all that could have happened to me was probably a fall from that small stool and a sprain in my ankle or else fracture."

Arnav: "Tum sach mein pagal ho. "

Khusi: "Woh to hume pata hai... abhi aap jaldi se tayar ho jaiye... hume Lavanyaji se milna hai... pata nehi woh kya soch rahi hogi... unhe hamare wajah se bohot bura laga hoga."

Arnav: "Khusi, let me clear one thing again... I have never loved Lavanya, yesterday what you saw was only a friendly hug and... (cupping her face) ...I love you. Only you... please never doubt my love for you... I don't want the same to happen to us that happened to my parents."

Khusi holding his palms over her face: "I can never doubt you Arnavji... I trust you and I know you will never break it." Saying she hugged him.

Arnav: "Khusi, when we return back... first thing that I will do is hire detectives to find out the truth about what had happened 14 years back."

Khusi: "We need to have Dadiji in stable mental condition... She only will be able to tell us what exactly had happened."

Arnav: "Khusi... I am such a bad son, isn't it? Nearly half of my life I spent hating my father and even went on to change my surname."

Khusi: "You are not a bad son. You are the best."

Arnav: "Khusi, the day I will clear the name of my father that day itself I will change my name from Arnav Singh Raizada back to Arnav Arvind Mallick and proudly tell everyone that I am Arvind Mallick's son."

Khusi: "That day will come soon Arnavji. Very soon."

Arnav and Khusi were sitting in a restaurant waiting for Lavanya. Khusi was really sad because of the way she had behaved last night and also because she could feel Lavanya's feelings for Arnav. Though Arnav had never loved her but she had loved him and till now has feelings for him. It was really awkward for her to meet a lady, who is her friend and at the same time loves her husband and someday had wanted to be in the place where she is now.

Arnav: "Khusi, relax. Lavanya would understand. Stop worrying."

Khusi: "Arnavji... it is really odd to meet her now. I was her good friend but now I am the wife of the man whom she loves... It is really awkward."

Arnav: "Khusi, she knew it that someday only you were going to be my wife when she left India. There is nothing to feel bad. She knows it very well that I never loved her..."

Khusi: "But she loves you..."

Arnav: "That shouldn't be your concern... I had clearly told her before that it was just an act for us. But she..."

Khusi: "How can you say like that? She helped you when you needed and now..."

Arnav: "What do you want me to do? Shall I marry her?"

Khusi gave him an angry look and he pulled her towards him and huskily whispered: "Stop worrying dear... there is time till she comes don't you think we should utilize this time..."

Khusi who was going weak because of his husky voice said: "Matlab?"

Arnav: "Matlab..." and without saying anything captured her lips for a passionate kiss. Khusi tried to protest because they were in a restaurant but when her eyes travelled around, they were well covered inside a curtained room, that was solely booked for them and then she too gave in responding with equal favour to Arnav.

Lavanya entered the room to see Arnav and Khusi busy kissing each other oblivious to the surroundings. She thought of the in numerous times when she had wanted to get close to Arnav but he had always ignored her. Even when she had bared her heart before him telling him that she loves him, he had just told him that he feels nothing for her and he can't love any girl but here he is deeply in love with a girl and right now kissing her. She was hurt but she can't change the fact that both Arnav and Khusi love and are made for each other. So, she wiped away the tears from her eyes and waited not wanting to disturb their moment.

Arnav broke the kiss and then kissed her cheeks.

Khusi: "Yeh lavanyaji abhi tak kyun nehi aayi? Arnavji, aap unhe phone kijiye na."

Lavanya from behind: "No need to call... I am here."

Khusi jumped from her seat and squealing in happiness hugged Lavanya who too returned the hug with same warmth. They settled down with Khusi sitting beside Arnav and Lavanya in their front.

Lavanya: "It is so nice seeing you Khusi... it has really been long."

Khusi: "I am so happy to see you; I thought that probably we would never meet again."

Lavanya: "Even I thought I would never see you again, but it's really great that we are meeting again."

Khusi: "Lavanyaji... I... I am sorry for the way I behaved yesterday... I shouldn't have..."

Lavanya: "It is okay... I understand. It is not a good feeling to see your husband hugging someone."

Khusi: "You are not someone. You are his good friend... I am really sorry for behaving that way..."

Arnav: "Khusi, if you are over with your sorry business then shall we order some food. I am really hungry."

Khusi: "Sure."

Arnav took the menu book to order lunch and Lavanya watched him and Khusi. The ASR whom she had known does whatever he wishes to and never needs anyone's suggestion but the one sitting here was taking Khusi's suggestion even to order his own lunch.

Khusi: "Lavanyaji, what would you like to have?"

Lavanya: "Anything that you order."

Khusi smiled and Arnav ordered the lunch. Khusi was about to say something when Arnav's phone rang and he checking the caller id said to Khusi: "Khusi, Aman has called... it must be important... I will just answer the call and be back." Getting a nod from her, he went out to answer the call.

Khusi: "Yeh Arnavji bhi na... hamesa kaam ke bare mein hi sochte hain... (looking at lavanya)... aap bayaiye Lavanyaji, aap kaisi hain?"

Lavanya: "I am fine... how is everyone back at Delhi?"

Khusi: "Everyone is good... you should visit Delhi... then I will introduce you to the new member of our family... (thinking about Muskaan and smiling to herself) ...she is so sweet, just like a doll."

Lavanya: "New member? Who?"

Khusi: "That is a surprise for you. You need to be in Delhi to meet her... and you know what, Di is pregnant..."

Lavanya: "Woow... Di is pregnant!! She will be over the moon... isn't it?"

Khusi: "Yes, she is and everyone else is also too happy."

Arnav joined them and said: "Sorry Khusi, had to take that call... it was sort of urgent."

Khusi: "Okay. Now I hope you won't be getting any other work related calls."

Arnav: "Hope so..."

Khusi: "You better not... or else trust me I am going to break that mobile of yours."

Arnav: "What the!!"

Lavanya laughing: "Look at you ASR, you look so petrified of Khusi."

Arnav: "What to do... see what she has turned me to... always getting things done according to her... I can't even breathe according to my wish."

Khusi in an angry tone: "What the...!! What are you saying?"

Arnav: "No... I mean..."

Thankfully he was saved from answering as the waiter came with their lunch. While having their lunch Lavanya touched a topic which really made Khusi sad.

Lavanya: "Khusi, you didn't tell me how is everyone at your home... How is your father? Did his health improve?"

Khusi whose face till now was bright with smile turned totally sad, Arnav understood her and holding her hand said: "They all are good. And no, his health hasn't improved."

Lavanya thought that asking about her father did upset Khusi but what was hurting Lavanya was the way Arnav was taking care of Khusi in every aspect, she knew she shouldn't be jealous of her as Khusi is Arnav's love but what can she do her heart was not listening to her but she was genuinely happy for her best friend, Chamkili. After the lunch, Lavanya took leave from them as she had her flight and Arnav and Khusi went out for sightseeing and some shopping for family.