Chapter 10

EXPELLIARMUS

@EXPELLIARMUS

[MEMBERSONLY]

6) Jo pehle hua na...

(Part One)

"You should have stuck to spelunking and climbing rocks!"

"I would have, if I had the choice. That is my first love, and always will be."

Khushi stared at him, wondering why he was missing the point here.

"You don't understand, do you? This would never have happened if you had only listened to me!"

"All you said was that he gave off the wrong vibe. What was I supposed to think?"

"It's called intuition. After all these years, I have learned to pay attention when it tells me something."

"There was no proof, have you forgotten that?"

"I haven't forgotten a thing. All I wanted was a little time to probe further and get to know the person he really was before making him the head of such an important committee."

"But you didn't stress it enough. Admit it, you weren't really sure that there was something wrong at all."

Khushi sighed. He was right, of course. If she had been one hundred percent certain that there was something fishy about Dr.Shyam Manohar Jha, she would have made it a point to find out more. But she hadn't really followed through, and the result was nothing short of disastrous.

Yesterday, one of the news channels had gone live with the breaking news that the newly appointed chairman of the Department of Health, Dr.Jha had been caught on camera accepting a bribe from a manufacturer of medical equipment. It was not yet known how and why the tape was released to the media, but the fact that it was Dr.Jha on that video was undeniable.

According to the latest news report, he had been detained for further questioning and an investigation was underway.

But the damage had been done. The restructuring of the department had been a widely publicized move, and now the blame was being laid at the doorstep of the new Minister. The channels had gone into a frenzy with claims of Arnav Singh Raizada acting with haste and making wrong decisions this early in his career.

And support from within their party had been slow and hesitant, since most of the party members were still unsure about the foreign-returned scion.

She sighed again. It was a huge mess, and she would be the one to clean it up.

However, that did not mean that she would let him go scot-free without accepting any responsibility for the debacle.

"It doesn't matter if I was right or wrong. What matters is that my job is to advise you, and yours is to take the advice seriously and formulate your decisions with your own inputs as well. "

"No one could have predicted that something like this would happen."

"I know that. But now that it has, we need to deal with it swiftly and try to limit the damage. And learn from our mistakes."

"I heard your plans on the flight, didn't I? You have full authority to go ahead with them."

She stared at them in the dim light of the streetlights that shone through the windows of the car at regular intervals.

"Don't you have any ideas that you would want me to implement?"

"Not really. You know much more about this than I do."

Anger swept over her, and she clenched her hands as she spoke.

"Doesn't it matter to you at all? Are you really the same person who was incensed at the idea of a useless foreign trip? The same one who restructured an entire committee that was filled with mere figureheads?"

"I'm also the person who has failed, Khushi. I tried to do the best I could, but I've just realized that there are no quick fixes to this widespread disease. Apathy, neglect, corruption and self-serving behavior are so firmly embedded in the political culture here...it's going to take years for an honest person to make any difference. And I don't think that I have it in me to stay that long..."

For an instant, she wondered why he had only just realized all this. Given that he was a member of a political dynasty, why wasn't he more familiar with the inner workings of Indian politics?

She opened her mouth to ask him that, but stopped suddenly when a memory came back to her.

Arnav Singh Raizada had never really played an active role in politics. When they had met ten years ago, he had just come back to India during his summer vacation from Harvard. Right from the beginning, he had begun carving his own path, making his own destiny.

Later of course, he had voluntarily chosen to go away from it all, never to return...

And now that fate had brought him back here and placed him in the middle of the quagmire of Indian politics, it had dawned on him that this tangled web would take a long time to unravel.

She couldn't stop the sense of disappointment that spread through her.

"So you're giving up already?"

"I was never really in, to begin with. I only came back here because my family wanted me to, and my plan is to stay until my cousin can take his rightful place ."

She was shocked at the fact that he had spoken about his family before her, and words failed her for a moment.

But what he said next astonished her even more, if that was possible.

"This just isn't me, Khushi. This isn't what I want to do for the rest of my life."

She couldn't believe that he was sharing something so personal with her.

This was a night of surprises indeed...

"But you have the power to make a difference, doesn't that matter to you at all?"

"Of course it does, and I'll try to do as much as possible within the constraints set upon me. I may feel disheartened now, but I will make an effort to resurrect my enthusiasm after all this is sorted out."

He turned to look at her, and stared at her for a moment before continuing.

"You're still surprised that someone doesn't feel as strongly as you do about all this, right? "

She didn't quite know what to say and just nodded, wordlessly agreeing to his assessment.

He sighed.

"Think of it this way, Khushi. How would you feel if your family asked you to quit your job and take up the management of an adventure sports company for a while? With your dedication and commitment, I'm sure you would do it well. But don't you think that it would stifle you after a while? Wouldn't you want to get back to your job, and continue to do what you love...what you have been trained for?"

For the first time ever, she saw things from his perspective.

And then it suddenly dawned on her that their work-relationship had a fixed expiry-date.

Someday, he would stop being her boss...but she would still remain in her position, and probably never see him again.

The shaft of pain that sliced through her shocked her immensely, and she drew in a quick breath to hide her response to his words.

She had to do something, say something to answer him, and distract herself from her troubled thoughts.

"I...I understand what you are saying. But...whatever you may want to do in the future, it has no bearing on the present. Right now, we need to focus on dealing with this current situation as best as we can."

She was proud of how competent and professional she sounded, There was nothing in her voice that hinted at the turmoil within, and she knew that he hadn't really noticed what had just happened.

"I just hope that SOB gets punished. That's all I want right now. As for the rest, I'm sure you'll handle it just fine, Khushi. Mujhe bharosa hai."

She quickly nodded, then turned away from the window, her eyes burning with suppressed tears.

Trust.

How easily he had used that word...and even though she knew that he meant it in a professional context, she couldn't stop the small burst of joy inside.

And in that moment, she promised herself that she would prove herself worthy of that trust.

She wouldn't let him down, wouldn't let anything get in the way of doing her duty to the best of her ability.

And if that meant forgetting everything that had happened inside that cavern, then so be it.

The burning in her eyes intensified, and she quickly dashed one hand across her eyes.

She completely failed to notice the intent gaze that was fixed on her, taking in every fleeting expression that crossed her face.

________

One week later, there was a spring in her step as she walked towards the elevator in the office lobby.

She looked down at the file in her hands, and smiled.

It had been a difficult week, but now her troubles were at an end.

The issue with Dr. Jha had finally been given closure, and Arnav was at a meeting with the Prime Minister at the moment, informing him of that fact.

It hadn't been easy, not by a long shot.

The day after their return from the States had been the worst, and she still remembered the sense of panic that had assailed her at that moment. She had communicated with the police , the other members of the committee, the other Cabinet secretaries and the Secretary to the PM before organizing a press conference. Arnav had handled that very well, and had been non-committal in his replies.

The next few days had passed by in a whirlwind of activity as the evidence against Dr.Jha had mounted, and they had braced to deal with the fallout. When it was conclusively proved that he was guilty, the matter had been passed over to the bench of the Delhi High Court.

An interim chief for the Department of Health had been found, and another press conference had been called in order to inform the media about these developments. After that, the news about the corrupt doctor had fallen out of the spotlight, as newer, more controversial topics took center-stage.

She had been grateful for that, of course. The whole issue had been resolved , and they had done the best they could under these trying circumstances.

And now, Arnav had gone to the PM to give him the final report.

She looked down at her watch as she approached the elevator. In fact, it was almost time for him to return.

Another smile curved her lips as her thoughts went to him.

The past one week had been extremely busy for them, and they hadn't really spent much time together. Whenever they had met at the office, there had always been others around.

But there had been one thing that was constant throughout.

Every single night, he had called her on her cell-phone, at exactly the same time. In the beginning, these calls were mostly inquiries about her injuries, and discussions about the ongoing investigation. But later, the tone and content of their conversations had changed. He had spoken about his work in the states, and she had enjoyed listening to the tales of his adventure trips. In return, she had regaled him with stories about inefficient subordinates and incompetent ministers, and they had shared a late-night laugh over that.

The phone calls weren't long in duration, but she found herself looking forward to them all the same.

The equation between them had changed, and she had taken some time to get used to that fact. The fear of the past always hung over them like a shadow, but increasingly, she had found herself forgetting about it for a few brief, stolen moments.

She didn't quite know what was happening, but she knew that she couldn't stop it if she tried. She had never felt this way before, and she wanted to give herself permission to follow this, whatever it was...and see where it led her.

And she had taken a giant step in that direction yesterday, when they had received publicity photos from the conference organizers. Sifting through the lot, she had found one that had immediately captured her attention.

It was a shot taken during that last dinner in the banquet hall. She had a plate of food in her hand, and was looking up at him with a smile on her face. He in turn was staring down at her with an arrested expression, and the camera had captured that moment for eternity.

Not even knowing why she did so, she had taken one copy of that photo and stowed it away in her desk locker before taking the rest to his office. Later that day, she had taken that photo home with her, where it now rested in her nightstand.

She didn't know why she took it out every night.

She didn't know why she did that right after he called.

There were so many questions that were unanswered, and sometimes, she felt as if she was lost in a maze of her own making. The history that lay between them like a specter terrified her even more now, because she suddenly felt like she had a lot to lose.

There was also the fact that he was her boss, and all this was surely unprofessional. As someone who prided herself on her work ethics, this troubled her greatly.

But despite that, despite everything, she couldn't stop the faint ray of hope that insisted on brightening her shadowed heart.

And that terrified her too.

She had reached the elevator now, and she stepped into it, turning around to face the door.

The doors began to close, but at the very last moment, a hand stopped them from doing so.

As they slid open again, she felt as if her heart stilled, then soared.

It was him.

She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly realized that there were others in the elevator too. Of course, as his secretary she had every right to talk to him, but in her current state, she wasn't sure what words would fall from her lips.

And so she kept silent, and surprisingly, so did he.

He stepped in front of her, then turned to face the door as well.

She stared at his broad back, feeling a sudden wave of disappointment sweep over her.

Until she raised her eyes, and realized that his eyes were on her, after all.

He was staring straight ahead at the glass door of the elevator, and her reflection was plainly visible there.

She couldn't tear her eyes from his reflection either.

They stood that way until the lift reached their floor, then both stepped out together.

Neither of them said a word, and she quickly turned towards her own office.

His husky voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Khushi,"

She whirled to face him, her heart pounding again.

"Can I see you in my office?"

She nodded, then watched as he headed for his cabin.

She followed him after a few seconds, unsure about what was going to happen.

When they reached his office, he was standing at the window with his back to her.

She took the seat before his desk, and waited for him to speak. When he said nothing for a few moments, she finally gathered the courage to speak.

"How did the meeting with the PM go?"

He turned his head slightly, but didn't turn to face her.

"It went well, I think. He seemed to be satisfied with everything we have done. But there was something..."

She stiffened, and realized that he was going to say something vital.

"Was there a problem?"

"Not really."

"Then what..."

He sighed, and that action caught her attention.

Although she didn't quite know why, a sense of unease crept over her.

"The Prime Minister feels that although we have taken all possible measures to rectify this lapse, my image...or rather, the image of the party has been damaged. He feels that this might even have an effect on the upcoming state elections. Added to that is the fact that there is growing discontent among the party ranks about my position as Minister...all this has served to make him very uncomfortable. And then he has apparently heard a rumor..."

"Rumor?"

"Yes. He has heard that I...my family has been planning an event in Lucknow where we would invite all the loyalists . This is actually true, this has been in the works for a while now, although nothing has been settled because we have had some disagreements about it. But never mind all that. The point is , the PM wants us to organize this immediately. For this weekend, in fact. And he wants us to invite the entire cabinet...well, everyone who's available, at least. He wants us to make this a grand event, one that will showcase the unity in the party ranks and prove to our detractors that there is nothing wrong within the organization. And what's more...he has already gone ahead and spoken to...my grandmother about this."

The mention of his family and Lucknow in the same sentence had effectively paralyzed her, but she somehow knew that the worst was yet to come.

And he proved that when he finally turned to face her,and she saw the solemnity in his eyes.

"Khushi...the event will be held on this Sunday, the decision has been made. I'm not entirely comfortable with it, but this is what the party high-command wants and I have no choice but to go along with it. So it will take place, in two days from now. And I want you to come."

She stilled, an instant refusal forming on her lips.

He must have read her intent, because he raised one hand as he continued.

"Hear me out, please. I'm not asking you to come as my secretary, or my employee. I'm asking you to come as the person who has made all this possible. I know my limitations, and I know that I could never have navigated through this on my own. And that's why I want you to come there...as my special guest."

She didn't quite know how to respond to that.

One part of her shied away from the very mention of Lucknow and his family...while the other part wanted to give in to the unconscious plea in his eyes.

Finally, her heart won out.

"I'll be there."

He stared at her for a long moment, as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

Then finally , a smile crossed his lips.

"Thank you. For everything."

She smiled too.

"I didn't do it for your gratitude."

His smile widened at the obvious reference to his earlier words, but dimmed almost immediately.

"Khushi...there's just one more thing."

That sense of unease returned with a vengeance, and she stilled.

"What is it?"

"The location of this event...it's at Sheesh Mahal."