Chapter 9
Arnav was a photographer, an artist. He had a little bit more than normal human beings, something inexplicable and attractive.
One time, I do not remember on which magazine , I had read that the singers , actors, writers and all those who communicate and give a contribution to the world with their works have the power to reach people and to leave an imprint inside .
I knew nothing about astrology, but I was certain that Arnav on his ceiling , he played with precision , the galaxy and its constellations .
As soon as my eyes had adjusted to the dark, over my nose, had appeared hundreds of stars phosphorescent emitting a faint greenish glow .
I was genuinely impressed , I did not think that Arnav was so dreamy .
Every time he brought a girl in his bed and did anything but not sleep - like me and him at that time - so she was satisfied from the union that she would like to say something like, wow I am seeing stars .
I gave up my thoughts more than idiots and sighed .
What the hell ...I could not get to sleep. Even though I was laying in angle of the bed, it was as if Arnav was next to me . More than anything else it was a repressed desire , because he had been composed in his corner without ever straying into my half .
In the hours before we had done nothing but flirting and now I felt a little upset .
I was sure he was flirting , albeit in a veiled way .
He played , leaving me the thankless task of deciphering his words and saw how much I liked him, it was not a good idea ... because I could misrepresent everything and make the figure of the fool.
However , he touched me. And a couple of times I had the distinct feeling that he was holding back from doing something , to be more daring .
" Khushi, are you sleeping? " he asked.
No, I'm thinking about you and I can not.
"Almost" I turned on my side , clasping my hands under my right cheek . In the darkness I could see only his shadowy figure and sometimes the gleam of his eyes. "You can not? " I asked.
I heard him hold back a chuckle in his throat and then, as he did in Las Vegas, he slipped his arm under my pillow.
"I'm a bit restless " he said in a strange voice .
" Have you been drinking too much Coke or too much coffee ? " .
" Hmm ... I do not think ." he answered back.
Oh my God! But why should he feel restless ? Is it possible that my presence touched him so much?
" Shaken ... positive or negative? " I asked again .
Well , he had even given a more concrete answer at last.
I moved restlessly in bed the sheets twisting my legs. There was a smell of air freshener , the sheets smell fresh clean and there
I wanted to flirt with him , to comment on his sentences with naughty jokes , maybe even joke above. But , perhaps, it was not the wisest decision to make when you are in a bed a few inches away from each other. You could really fall into temptation and then in error.
I wondered why I always liked what I could not have ... it seemed that I loved difficult task. He was engaged and I was little more than a stranger.
I had to face the reality and understand that if there was even something between us, it would have been only condition: the closeness, live in contact every day, my hormones...
And then I did not I told him that I did not want any involvement ?
Here am I, the queen of twisted .
"If it's bad for me , nor do I want to know" I mumbled turning around from behind him. But I was only playing a part , I would have jumped from the fifth floor to find out what he meant , though perhaps a little I guessed .
"It is a bad thing and enjoyable at the same time ." he said.
"You want to intrigue me? " I replied.
"I already know you are. Every woman is curious . " He stated.
"I am different from the others ." I remarked.
" Perhaps, in some ways ... " he uttered.
At least I was spared being considered as all the others. It was already one step ahead.
"Goodnight " I said, closing my eyes while hands sweated due to the nervousness.
He snorted then moved . Fast. He took me an arm under my breasts , pressing on the ribs and pulling me to him with a tug.
Eyes goes wide and I lost my breath.
" What the ... " I almost cry.
"We could combine business with pleasure , what do you say ? "he ask.
What a silly question . Even without that asked me , I'd agree. But wait a minute ... what was he referring?
Eyelids was half-closed when I heard his face close to mine, the cold tip of his nose back down from my cheek to my throat. And his warm chest stuck to my back and I could not believe I could feel his heart beating so hard .
I was not one the only upset then...
No, it could not be , I was mistaken for sure.
" Since we are forced to spend all this time together , why not exploit it in the most beautiful way that there is ? " .
I clenched my fists. The temptation to feel the lines of his face under my fingers was almost unstoppable . I wanted to taste his mouth to prove to myself that it was as soft as it looked.
" What would be the most beautiful way? " I whispered almost voiceless .
" Hmm ... Khushi, Khushi ... " .
It was the most exciting reproach that I had ever received in my entire life and I was going crazy because he continued to brush and not to touch me. Because his mouth hatching does not rested , flowed slowly.
" Do not ... " I stammered .
Ok , I had to take back...what the hell!
By now I realized that I liked him and that the earlier speeches that I had done , they were not worth a damn , but I was not a girl who was sleeping with strangers. It was my husband , that's fine , but he wanted to take advantage of the situation, I was not so blurred as not to understand it. I was not so stupid and by the way, he has a girlfriend He was smart-ass!!
"It's not a good idea ." Damn Khushi, Damn myself. "It's not a good idea and we've talked about . And the fact that I'm your guest do not mean that I should give myself to you. "
I turned away from him , back in my corner .
" Is this what you thought from the beginning? " I asked. " That staying here meant for me share a physical relation with you? " .
My throat burned and I almost risked choking .
I was just stupid. If he nodded, if he had said yes, I would have fallen upon the world , and not because it was not lawful for him make certain thoughts , but only because I was so in the clouds I could not see what I had before .
" Khushi , can I tell you something? " he whispered.
"Lets hear " I said defensively.
" You do not understand a damn thing about me. Good night . "
He got up from the bed taking the pillow and left the room , slamming the door .
I sat in the dark with a lump in my throat and a strange feeling of wanting to cry because of that misunderstanding. He had left me alone in his bed in the most ugly way that might be.
I pulled the covers over my nose and called myself an idiot forever.
I could have answered by No to his demands , without accusing him like I did.
Since I liked him so much I would have to go with feet of lead and do not shoot the first bullshit that came into my mind , even if it was not so much bullshit . However, there were thousands of ways to express a thought without being offensive and I had them avoided , of course, and without preamble, I went to the point.
Congratulations Khushi, once again.
I fell asleep late at night, after counting hundreds of stars phosphorescent the only ones to keep me company on my first night of living together.
I opened my eyes when I heard the front door slam .
I rubbed my eyes and kicked the sheets away . I was shattered and my back hurt.
I turned to the place cold and empty where it should be Arnav . Sleeping had changed my mood, and now I no longer felt guilty but I was angry with him.
I could not take responsibility for everything , it was also because of him that I had misrepresented his words, thinking something else. Rather than leaving me alone , he would have let me know in words what was his thought.
I sat tying the hair in bulk, making a kind of bun similar to a bird's nest . Usually when I was angry I did not want to see anyone , and I was certain that Arnav was already out of the house . Alone with my bun, beautiful.
Then in the folds of my pillow I saw a small blue booklet .
I raised an eyebrow and grabbed him . Signed by Arnav .
Yuck! I would not read his note , never ever ! He did not deserve it after having treated me that way !
Good morning , Jaan.
I'm sorry about last night.
Make yourself at home, I'll see you this afternoon when I return.
Kiss.
Adorable ... what the ...? I had read that note without my will. What a strange thing ...
I dragged my feet to the kitchen and put the kettle on . I arranged the cushions on the couch and watered the violets on the windowsill.
I also tried to sing or listen to the news , but the words that Arnav had written on the slip of blue kept turning around in my head I'm sorry , I'll see you this afternoon , Kiss.
Anyway, he would not have got away so easily. I was a tough one , and I knew enforce. The only major problem was that I did not want to make the tough, but that's another story.
I put a little order here and there and take shower just to keep my mind and body occupied. When I got back in the small living room , I saw a laptop with flashing light placed hovering over a stack of books .
I chewed my lips moving my weight from one foot to the other .
" No one will notice if I look ever ... " .
I went over and took it in my hands, then sat on the couch resting it on my legs .
I lifted the monitor and lit up immediately with a blue light . And that monitor gave me a nice surprise , as when you open an Easter egg comes out or when a joke of a cake . But it was not as enjoyable .
The screen showed for its entire width , a picture.
There was Arnav with a smile that I had never seen , along with a beautiful girl . Their were embracing each other . He was watching her . And she clung to him in a loving embrace .
That was his girlfriend ... and it was better than I ever could only imagine. She was a goddess, even comparable to me. Heaven and Earth, in the true sense of the word.
I was staring at them with sharp eyes for a while trying to find fault with non-existent , until I felt pain for having bitten nails too .
Then suddenly my cell phone rang and I nearly fell to the ground the laptop .
" Hello? " .
"Hey it's me, you were doing ? " It was Arnav.
I've been hating you. " Nothing much ." I said.
" Then come to lunch with me, I'll pick you up in twenty minutes ."
"No , Arnav ."
"Why? Are you not well ? " he asked worried .
" I'm fine instead stop worrying about me. No need to go out together when we can avoid it and you should not feel obligated to invite me , really. Go out together only when necessary and just . For the rest I take care of myself . " I declared in a single breath.
"Well" he replied coldly , after which I shut the phone down .
Jealous.. shouted a voice inside my head.
Maybe I exaggerated ... again, well done Khushi Kumari Gupta...Singh Raizada !
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