Chapter 7

Khushi stood there, still holding onto the railing, for who knows how long. She didn't know what to do, so many emotions running through her body. One telling her to scream, one telling to cry, and one telling her just stand. Then she suddenly, remembers Muskaan telling her that she'll cut the cake only when she comes. Making her have to go out there, be near him, him whom she was even more scared of being near. She wanted him, and yet she didn't. She wanted to spend her life with him, and yet she didn't. She was confused. She was really confused. The same guy, who betrayed her, loved her. The same guy she loved betrayed her. She was confused. She was really confused. Should she love him or hate him. She was confused. Is it okay to love someone who wounded you? Is it okay to hate someone who loves you?

She fixed herself before walking out. Now, it wasn't about facing other people, but him as well. She walked slowly due to all of her energy gone. It felt as she hand no blood in her body. She walked outside and saw everybody having a conversation. She sighed in relief that nobody stared at her. Maybe they forgot about me. She went to the buffet stands to eat something though she had no appetite. She just wanted to do something than just stand there. She grabbed some food, not even caring what it was. She carried herself to an empty table. She stared at the food. Wondering if it could give her some answers, but unfortunately it didn't. She looked away from the food and found herself staring at him. He was sitting on the other side of backyard with his friends, but was staring at her also. She didn't look away this time. She stared at him trying to tell him how she felt. Trying to tell him she was confused. Trying to tell him, how can he help, when he obviously was the reason behind it? But he looked away, as if reading her thoughts and denying it.

Just as she's about to push her plate away, Muskaan comes and sits beside her. "What took you so long?" Muskaan's says as she takes a pakora from her plate. Just as her massi comes to their table.

"Khushi puttar, you're here. Come, let's cut the cake." Her massi says as she pats her head.

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Khushi sat in her room, crying into her pillow. It was 3am and yet she stayed awake. She kept rewinding back to what he said to her. She kept rewinding his confession which now he said it didn't exist. Was he lying? She didn't know. She sat there still in her saree on the made bed. She sat there and poured herself with tears. She felt broken, shattered, and dead. The night felts so long, making the world still dark. She sat in the same position for three hours. She didn't know why but she wanted to go to him. To him, to which she was like this. She wanted to go to him, knowing he would only make her sleep. She wanted to go to him, knowing he would only make her heart beat again. She wanted to go to him, knowing he would be the only one who will give him the answer to what she should do. But she couldn't. She remained helpless.

It had been two weeks since they had met at Muskaan's birthday. Khushi drove home coming from work. As she drove she thought about him, how she couldn't meet him. How would she? There was no way. She worked, he worked. She stayed here, he stayed there. She drove here, he drove they. She wanted to see him. She wanted to see if he dying like she was. Was he finding it hard to breathe like he did? Was he finding it hard to walk, swallow, and eat like she did?

As she got home she changed into her pink munki flannel pajamas https://shop.nordstrom.com/S/munki-munki-flannel-pajamas/3126674?origin=related-3126674-2377662-0-1-2 and does her hair in a messy bun. It was Friday and she planned to watch movies because her parents were out of town and her brother was coming home late too.

Just as she organized herself, by putting her favorite pillows around her and placed chocolate chips and popcorn on the table, she heard the bell ring. She walked to the door and She opened the door and heart leaps. He stands in front of with his hair dripping from the rain. She watches as he wides his eyes for a second and turns normal.

"Where's Raj? "he says to her in a different tone than he usually talks to her. "I told him I was coming."

"He's not here yet." She says as she gestures him in. She fastly walks to the family room as she feels his gaze on her. She curses as she sees her small mess around the family room. She had food on the table, pillows and her butterfly blanket on sofa, and romantic movies piled up on the floor. She quickly falls on the floor and collects the movies before he sees them. She turns around after hiding all the DVDs and sees him looking at her, still standing. She lowers her gaze suddenly from becoming shy in front of him. Realizing she's wearing her character pjs in front of and her hair being messy, which she never was in front of him like this. "Do you want something to drink?...eat?" she asks, unsure of what to say. All she wanted to hear from him was how long he loved her and why he never said it to her, when she always told him she loved him. She wanted to answer these questions.

"No." he says as he sits down on the sofa, free from her mess. "Where uncle and aunty?" he says still in his unemotional voice.

"There arrr-rre out of town. Mrs. Patel, Arifa's mother's friend's daughter had a baby boy, ...so they're there. " Khushi says to him, "he's 8lbs. A lot...even Raj was 8lbs when born...maa said...really big...and no a-aaa C-section...just normal...but forrr maaa it wasss a C-section...and evv-ven forrr mee it wasss C-sssec-" Khushi stopped as Arnav just stared at her as if she was crazy. Basically telling her with his eyes that he didn't care about the baby. She sat on her comfy sofa while playing with her fingers, as if somebody scolded her.

"When is he coming?" he says to her. Khushi looks up at him, not knowing what he's talking about. Who's coming? Who's he? She thinks to herself, wondering who Arnav was talking about. "When's Raj coming?" he says again.

"Ahhh...uh...he's coming...coming...let me give a ccc-aalll...yeah a cccalll" she stutters as she paces around the room looking for the phone. Thankfully, she find it on the table behind the sofa. She picks up the phone while fumbling with it and suddenly forgets her brother's number. "Hey Devi Maiya, why am I being a idiot in front of him. Do you want me to be with him?...then please don't make me act like a idiot...please...hey Devi Maiya what's veer-ji's number? "Khushi says to herself as she makes nervous faces.

Suddenly she feels warm hands on her hands; she looks up and sees him standing beside her. She drops the phone as she turns around to fully look at him. He looks into eyes as she does the same. They stand there for who knew how long. She stares into his eyes, reading the disappointment, love, anger, and loneliness he sent to her. She felt the same, as if her were reading her too. Reading her eyes that told him the passion she had for him. She wanted him. She wanted to tell him that he carried her half-heart. How she suffered staying away from him for four years. And even more know, knowing he had loved her. Telling him, she needed time to fully accept him. Telling him, she accepted him. Telling him, she was confused. Telling him, she loved him. Telling him, she hated him. Telling him all of her secretes. Her secrets of admiral and hatred for him.

"If you don't love me, then why are so nervous in front of me?" he spoke to her. She smiled inwardly as he spoke in the voice that was only for her. "Tell me Khushi? Why so nervous?" he says as he leans into her. Separating the space between them. "And I know you leave me because I exist, but you leave me mainly to hide your feelings. Don't you?" He raises his eyebrows as he tilts his head slightly.

Khushi stands there shocked. Shocked how he read her easily. How he warmth her from not even touching her. How he relaxed her, when he was the reason behind the nervousness. She lowers her gaze, indicating a yes to only which he can understand. She slowly raises her face to look at him. She sees his intense eyes. He steps forward as she steps backward. He steps forward and she steps backward until she hits the wall. He puts his left arm on the fall and leans into her.

"Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm throwing a party... hope you do come, friend. "and he walks away and as he opens the front door, he whispers, "I came here to meet you, not Raj." And leaves.

Khushi stand there shocked again. He came to meet me? Khushi thinks to herself. She wanted to leap in joy, but asked herself if she could. She wasn't sure if she could. Could she love someone again so fast who betrayed her. But why? Why was she falling into his trap so quick? She knew what he wanted. He wanted to hear her say her feelings out loud, instead of reading it in her eyes. But how could she? How can she say it that fast? And what would her family think? They would object to her falling in love with him, whom hurt her. But for the last few weeks, Khushi had thought this through. How come she forgave her brother so suddenly and not him? Wasn't her brothers in fault with her as much as he was? If he used her, then why did he keep on talking with her? And he was right. When they dated he talked to her, and not seduce her. And why would he date her for two years? He couldn't done it within days.

And worst of all, she felt she was at fault. If she loved him, then why couldn't she read his eyes that also showed love? Why was she blind then? She was really confused. Was she really in love with him then? Or was she falling in love with him now, for sitting down and actually understanding him? Khushi thought to herself but jumped as lightening stroke. She ignored the lightening for once, from which she was scared of, and walked out of the house. She stood there thinking about him, his presence still lingering around her, unknown why she still felt him when he left, or did he? Thinking how they lived in such a modern place, and yet they both were playing a game at each other. Thinking how she fell in love with a man who she never thought twice she would fall in love with. Thinking how she fell in love with a man who gave his body to other girls, but loved her. She orbited around on the grass, for the first time enjoying something besides him being here.

"KHUSHI KUMARI GUPTA GET INSIDE RIGHT NOW!" yelled a voice. She turned around toward the voice. He stood there leaning against his car and watching her. She shook her head indicating a no; he glared at her while flaring his nostrils. She shook her head again, knowing he would come. He stepped away from his car and made three longs strides to her. He grabbed her arm and walked furiously inside the house with her. "DO YOU WANT TO GET SICK? ARE YOU INSANE?" he roared with anger at her.

"Why didn't you leave?" Khushi whispered back. He widened his eyes but quickly recompose himself. He closed his eyes and sighed by running his hands through his hair. He opened them and stared at her.

"Come on, change your clothes. They're fu***in wet!" he said as he grabbed her arm again, but softly this time and lead her to her room. She stared at him, shocked that he knew where her room was. He never came into her room before. Plus, this was a new house her dad bought when she left. How did he know? Then she suddenly remembers that he stared at her room before too. When he came to her house to talk with Armaan, and she watched him turn around and look at her window. But how did he know? Her ex-boyfriend was full of surprises. She stares at him as he places her on the bed and runs through her drawers to grab some fresh clothes. She watches him as he walks into her bathroom calmly and finds her towel. She watches him as he goes into the next room door, the store room, and comes back with a fresh towel. As he walks to her, she realizes everything.

"This isn't your first time coming in my room, is it?" Khushi says to him as he stills, "You were the one who showed this house to my dad weren't you?" Khushi says as she remembers her dad telling her that his friend constructed this house and it was just like the way she wanted. This was her second favorite type of house. A house that had a castle look and trees surrounded it from the back and front https://www.myaustinhouse.com/blog/avery-ranch-a-community-for-everyone.html . It was him all along. He was probably the one who told them to make this her room, knowing she would want it. She wanted to hit herself, knowing of course he would know. She told this to him, when she kept giving him hints, about the future she dreamed of with him. She told him her second type of house, and it was this one. She got it now. His house was her first type also. He did love her. She saw it now. She completely saw it. He was listening to her along, when she had thought he found her annoying when she talked about her dreams. He probably also remembered she had wanted two kids. While he stood there frozen, Khushi blushed for both of them.

Khushi walked out of her bathroom wearing her other pjs, except these were shorts https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/wild-free-flannel-pajama-set/3205016?origin=category&resultback=5122 . She only wore these during summer times and when her dad came late. She was always shy from wearing them, but her mom told her other girls wore even less. And now here she stood wearing them and exposing her legs to Arnav. She saw Arnav sitting on her bed and checking something on his phone. He looked up and she saw how he stared at her. She saw how he was trying to calm himself down and looked away. She leaped inside, happy to see that he found her pretty. This was something else that surprised her. He found her appealing. Khushi was 5'6, skinny but with curves, black eyes (I have black eyes...so don't think Khushi is a witch), and fair skin that made her look like a Persian not Indian, and black straight yet wavy hair. And he still found her pretty. She didn't have a model look, just a geek doctor look. She didn't wear push-up or thongs, to attract guys. And he of all guys, the playboy, found her attractive. She was going crazy inside as she saw actually fidgeting with his phone. She walked closer to him, "Arnav, you need to change too."

"Raj isn't coming. Do you want me drop you over at your massi's or call Payal over?" he tells her, ignoring her.

"It's okay. I'll stay here."

"No." he looked up at her. "You're not staying here alone."

"Arnav, I'm good. I'm 24 not a baby." She says to him as she sits beside him on the bed, making him a little away from her, trying to not touch her legs. "And plus, Massi went with maa-papa too. And I don't talk to Payal remember."

"Khushi, shut up. I'm not letting you sleep alone in this house, what if som-"

"I lived by myself for four years-" she interrupted.

"Well, that was London. This is California and plus Jigar is back."

"Jigar?" Khushi questions him. Wondering since when he hated Jigar, his friend. What was wrong about Jigar? She looks at him as he reads his text message.

"Fine. You have two choices from Raj. One stay here, with me here also. Or two, come with me." He says to her ignoring her again, "What is it Khushi?"

"Here." Khushi fastly answers. She didn't want to go there, knowing something will happen between them. She wanted to stay here, this house made her secure. Plus she was fully secure now, the house and him here too. Suddenly, she stops breathing. They were going to sleep under the same room. Its okay Khushi. You're 24, you're old and mature. Calm down. Calm down...oooh myyy goddd ...ahhh! "But don't you have to go? Your birthday tomorrooow annnd wwwooorkkk?" she stutters.

He turns and faces her, touching his leg with her. "Why? Cant I spend a night with my friend?" he whispers in her ear.

❤️❓was there ever love?❤️❓

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Quote of the day:

"Once in a while, night in the

middle of an ordinary life,

love gives us a fairytale."

LISTEN TO THIS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YDz-ftqr1g

Chapter 5 Part II: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2662408?pn=40