Chapter 1

She stood there encircling the sink, gawking over at her mother and her twin sisters, who now gave her an icy glare. "How dare you? First you walk off with some "activity" administrator-" Internally she laughed at her mother's words. Activity administrator…it hurts her ego to call him a soccer coach…what more can I expect? "...and now Patience, you come back and vomit in my sink in front of my little girls. Have you no shame?" her mother screeched, her spit flying in all directions. With one last defiant stare, her mother pulled herself and the twins out with her. Patience dropped down to the floor, hitting her head against the wall, letting the tears pour. Hell, I came here because you told me to. And now, in my time of pregnancy, this is what you do to me, mom. She wiped her tears. What they say is true. A person's true colors are only apparent in repulsive times.

 

             That night, Patience lied in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her mother had made it clear to her that she'd have to abort the baby regardless of what she felt. That's not what she had planned, in fact it was something the lied miles away from her beliefs. She knew what she had to do in a moment such as this one, but she needed to acquire the courage to do so. At this moment, she heard some muffled voices headed for her room and sat up. It was the twins. "Patience, if you have a baby, can we be the god-mothers?" four year old Alexis asked. "Of course you can…" Well, at least I'm not the only one anticipating this child.

 

             The gigantic clock on top of the mall now struck 12:00. Cabs hit all throughout New York…it was an average night. Patience clutched on to her purse as the wind nearly pushed her over. She flapped out her arm, and a taxi halted. The driver poked hi head out. "Where to, ma'am?" Jadedly, she said "Um…just head straight for now…and then I'll tell you exactly where." The driver was both confused and suspicious, but excessive night duty had let him to experience things far worse. As they headed forward, Patience rummaged through her purse then took out her cell phone and quickly dialed a number. "Hello…Matt…I'm coming over. I have nowhere to go right now….no, I won't go back to him…I'll tell you when I get there!"

 

             Sitting on the couch of her friend's apartment, she glanced around. Matt gave her a blank look then directed her to the empty guest room.  She found herself in a dj vu moment, lying on a bed feeling just like the one she had been in just an hour ago, staring at the ceiling. And once again, she heard someone heading towards her door. But she knew it had to Matt, he was the only one living here. "Hey, you asleep?" She shook her head, and he came closer, now sitting on her bed. "What are you doing?" she cried, and moved back. "What I should have done in those college years, darling." This time, she darted off the bed and took her purse from the shelve next to it and dashed out the door. "You come back! " Matt bellowed. But she'd already scuttled out far enough.

 

             The city of NYC may be polluted, garbage packed, but in the midst of it all, one thing was for sure: most things went unnoticed. So when people saw a girl coming from God knows where and sitting on the benches of a park, writing, they just moved their car right along. Patience sighed, once or twice looking out in the streets, trying to think of someone she could ask for help. Then, she gazed back at her little pocketbook, and continued.

 

I'm sorry baby, I wished I could have bought you up,

 loved you they way I've never been loved, but this world just

doesn't want us. It just doesn't want us.

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