A DAY LATER

8 months ago

Morusya51

@Morusya51

It felt strange to wake up to an empty bed after three years of staying with the person she had just parted ways. No one came to call her after she attended Anaya in the early hours of this bleak day.

A sad smile came on its own, realizing how her mothers were giving her time to handle his departure. They might not have been at their best in the last couple of months but a person who she lived with all her life, shared one of the closest relationships even if not emotionally they were there for each other in some of the toughest times they had seen together.

The guy who usually was so dependent on her had packed his bags just fine for this USA trip, perhaps her decision to accompany Amma to her Nani's place for the last two weeks was not that bad of a decision. It definitely gave both of them some time to come out of the dependency they have grown towards each other.

Her eyes wandered towards his side table. Just like the uncrumpled sheets and unused pillow the empty space reminded her of so many things she was trying to block from last night. For a moment she felt angry why he didn't tell her prior about his flight, why he kept coming to Anaya at her Nani's place but didn't tell his plans.

Even last morning it was Badi Ammi (Her mother in law) who called her to ask if would she be able to come back in case she wanted to discuss something with Fakhir before he went away, of course, they needed to meet because her husband had fulfilled one last wish of hers as his wife.

The brown envelope kept in front of her on his work table was the remainder of where they stood after last night.

She knew her eyes were swollen due to all the crying, she had told her mother it was the last cry but this last cry just happened to be one of the longest sessions she would have to endure whenever she was alone.

She was still lying down, staring at the white wall when her phone pinged followed by several pings she ignored but then a thought came and she wiped her eyes gently to not distress her already swollen lids and tried to focus brushing away the tears.

"Flight was further delayed for three hours"

"boarded the connecting an hour ago."

"text me when you see the message."

"Waqas would receive me at the airport."

"I'll stay with him for a day or two before everything is settled."

She kept reading his messages from the notification shade without opening the app, unsure what to say... does she need to start the distance right away or do they need to pretend nothing changed?

"I ordered something for Anaya for her second birthday, it might get delivered today..."

She waited for him to say anything else and when he didn't, she kept the phone aside. "Anaya's baba missed her second birthday as well."

*****

"Tea, coffee...anything Sir?" the air hostess brought him back to reality and he looked up at the woman smiling at her.

"No, maybe a pill for headache if possible," he replied and waited for her denial when she affirmed to return with it in a couple of minutes.

What an amazing turn of events, he had missed Anaya's first birthday and just before her second he was flying away from her... the last time was his first step towards finding himself, but he regretted it later not because he missed it but because he would always miss being away on her special day. Perhaps that is what life was - always leaving you in a muddle of choices.

The moment his phone was connected to the wifi his phone reminded him about cute throwbacks of Anaya's first birthday, his daughter's first birthday. He just hoped he was not making a wrong decision.

"Looks like it's the first trip away from family." the old woman sitting beside him towards the aisle spoke without taking her gaze away from the screen she had in her hands.

"Yeah." suddenly embarrassed of revealing something he was not meant to in public Fakhir closed his eyes pretending to sleep.

"then go, complete whatever it is you want to, and then come back to be with them, life is not all about adventure and stuff as a guy in your age might believe." the woman who was now starting to sound like a person with tough experiences advised before drifting into whatever it was she was seeing and working on her screen. Earlier Fakhir didn't observe her and now he didn't want to open his eyes.

He didn't know what the future held for him but he did know one thing - he might never come back here, the years he had lost had made him lose his self-confidence and it would surely take a really long time to bring back the guy he once aspired to be and that guy was not possible in Pakistan.

FLASHBACK

"Don't tell me you are running away from your responsibilities?" he remembered Amna's narrow gaze when he told her how he was planning to settle abroad.

"ah, I don't know Amna... maybe you might feel it was better if I took Annie and Anaya with me but let's talk reasonably, to find an admission when you don't know a lot is tougher than taking a wife and a kid when I myself don't know how I am going to survive in this unknown city... just because I have aged in that sect you are forgetting I am still just 20." Fakhir fixed his eyes on the paper napkin he was making a boll in his palm.

"Yeah I get that, I just don't want you guys to lose hope... give yourself some time, get settled there, and then if you feel call Annie and Anaya there, now that I am there I have seen young couples who live together doing just fine." Amna reasoned.

"They are not teen parents Amna, and you are forgetting our cultures are so different... of course Annie is brilliant and she has more chances to survive the schools and universities there but it would be like pushing her to the very routine we have worked so hard to bring her out. Yahan Amma, chachi,phuphoo, Faiza even Aymen would be there to care for Anaya if the need comes, Annie would not have to change any of her routines, it will all go smoothly here."

"And what about the Wife... won't she miss her husband."

"we are seperating." Fakhir said.

"Are you guys serious?" Amna's shock was so visible in her voice.

"that is what Annie wants." the desolation would some time to dilute out of his system.

"wow, just wow... and what do you want?"

END OF FLASHBACK

WHAT DID HE WANT, he was trying to understand what he wanted, his goals were clear about what he wanted from his career, what his goals were, but he was not so sure about Annie and his future. He was surprised when she asked for the divorce because in his opinion they both needed some time alone to understand each other better, away from the misunderstandings, away from the chaos of others they often found themselves a part of, away from the tag of husband wife as two individuals who were not together 24/7.

She was a different human than him and she thought differently, her traumas were different and it was only natural for her to be suspicious when he was away but his heart didn't want to agree with her.

Zaheer Ahmad had made a mistake by marrying them at the tender age of 15 and 17, they noticed they were perhaps not the best two people to be with each other but he had not thought about a divorce.

*****

The ice pack Faiza had made for her had helped her a little but still, her eyes stung a reminder of how she had silently cried sometimes hugging her daughter and sometimes the pillow when the pain was unbearable. But that is what the internet said the right decisions were going to hurt for a while but in later parts of her life, she would be proud of this one decision.

" Annie, ye lifafa main almari me rakh dun." Faiza had brought her lunch and was waiting to put it down on the table.

"Lifafa...arey haan, tum chhod do, main rakh dungi." keeping away the ice pack Annie walked towards his table when she heard the sound of a toy Fakhir had brought for Anaya which made a weird noise when pressed which Anaya and the way Fakhir enjoyed a lot.

"mmmm aa," Anaya pointed the toy to her and said something in her not understandable words.

"Kya hua Anaya ko, she needs somethings...kya chahiye aapko Anaya," crooning towards Anaya Annie forgot the papers and hugged the baby who prompted to be taken in her lap instantly.

"Annie, pahle kuch kha lo, main tab tak Anaya ko dekh lungi." Faiza kept the tray on the bed pressing a newspaper under it.

"Thank you Faiza for taking care of her but I'll manage now... go and rest now." Annie was thankful for the atmosphere her house now had, no one to conspire against them, no one to create drama about unnecessary things with her father and his wife gone the house had fallen silent to a serenity she sometimes was afraid about... and no one to fight with as well her heart reminded her.

"I didn't go to school Annie, Anaya was with Amma all day, Fakhir video called her as well...

"What... did he?" Annie felt her voice was a little too loud to show any care toward him.

"Yeah he did, he had to wait for some eight hours after he landed in Abu Dhabi, he was telling Badi Amma how he didn't let him go out of the premises and all he had to do was wait in the airport lounge.

"Oh..." Annie felt bad for him, the guy who didn't lose his sleep for anyone except Anaya who too after she fell severely ill last year had not slept a moment after such a long day...she felt bad for him. Perhaps that's why he told her to call him back they indeed promised to be friends.

To be his 3 AM friend would be a long road but she could try to be a good friend for the sake of their daughter.

Flashback

15 days ago

"Annie, I know I have said we are not compatible with each other but it is not that I have a problem with you...we are still so young let's first explore ourselves and then decide what we want with this marriage."

"Vahi to Fakhir, hum abhi bhi bahut chhote hain, par jab tum door hoge , har vaqt mujhe ek dar laga hoga ki tum kya kar rahe ho... tumhari life me kya ho raha hai." she looked away and stopped for a moment.

"haah." he exhaled audibly. "I got you, you still believe I would be unfaithful to you...hai na."

And her silence was the only affirmation he was right.

"Look Annie...actually come here," he pulled her towards him on the balcony they were talking. "I know you keep comparing me or maybe anyone at my place with your father because that was the first male influence of your life and he painted the picture real bad but why do you forget Abba, the great Zaheer Ahmed." he was still towards the man who he respected a lot but would never be able to forgive for the situation he left him into.

"Fakhir, roohein pareshan hoti hain..."Annie reminded him to not talk badly about the dead.

"bilkul aur unki rooh ne to hame vaise hi bahut aabad rakha hai." Fakhir's words were the reflection of the mental exhaustion he was going through and Annie understood that.

"so what I was saying is that Abba aur Amma ka rishta beshak perfect nahi tha but Zaheer Ahmad was not one thing, he was not dishonest with any of his relations and for your relief, he was concerned and caring about Amma in his own ways." Fakhir had now touched her fingers resting on the railing.

"I know that," Annie replied without looking up.

"but...I know there is a but." Fakhir nudged her to meet his eyes.

"but he didn't have an AMNA in his life, Badi Amma was never afraid about a second woman." Annie voiced her fears.

"I think I would never be able to clear my feelings about Amna nor would she be...okay then, I'll meet Jimi Mamu to file for the divorce proceedings but Annie please think about it one more time...we are regretting one decision of My Abba do we want to regret a decision of Anaya's amma and abba."Fakhir was done with her that night, she had felt that in her veins, and then the next morning Raheela's death happened cutting any more conversation on the topic.

End of flashback

"Annie, Gudia... where is your phone? Koi delivery vala aya hai, Fakhir ne tamam messages kiye hain tumhe." Ayesha has by now reached her bed and grabbed her silent phone.

"dekho to...tum us se baatein karo, main abhi vo parcel bhijwati hu." Ayesha gave her the phone which Anaya grabbed.

"Anaya Nahi... ye lo tumhara toy aur baitho idhar." taking the phone and letting the baby sit on the mat with the same irritating voice it created she opened the screen and sent a Hi and a Sorry for not seeing his messages. She wished she could just call him but he won't be able to take his calls until he lands in New York.

"Thank God Anaya ki Amma, aapko finally thoda Time to mila..." His text sounded just like him and brought a smile to her face and she wondered why they hadn't texted like this before.

"Jee Anaya ke Abba, ab aapke jane ke bad aapka kamra mera to vo sara waste jo aap chhod gaye use saaf kar rahi thi." she knew she sounded mean but he started that.

"khabardar jo koi cheej hatayi aur haan Annie you promised you won't touch the locker." he reminded her again and she smiled at his discomfort.

"ye baatein karni thi tumhe?" she typed walking to the basin to wash her hands and keep her plate away.

"Arey yaar, thak gaya main to...ab bas apne pairo par khade hona hai."

"isiliye to gaye ho no tum America."

"bhai Annie, banda sarcasm samjh bhi leta hai... baithe baithe thak gaya ab bas khade hona hai."

"haan haan theek hai...

And just like that, they kept talking, without being aware of how long it was, when did Faiza enter the room and keep the box on the chair, when did Anaya walk to her side and try to settle on her lap and then sleep beside her? Time flew away just like that maybe all they needed was to forget their tags for a while and act like the two carefree people they once were.

"wow, it looks like a good Panda, I think Anaya would love that." she texted him after she had settled that Panda beside her.

"Now press its belly..." his text shocked her...he would not possibly be doing that to her.

"Fakhir...she warned followed by the red-faced angry emoji as she pressed the belly." just then the irritating sound came waking their daughter up and grabbing it the moment her eyes landed on it.

his reply was a set of laughing out loud emoji followed by a set of showing tongue.

Resigned to their daughter's obvious likeness towards the toy she clicked a picture of her with the toy and hit sent. He might not understand her but he definitely knew what his daughter wanted and she would be content with that.

The picture message was replied to with a big beating heart and she hoped though distant now their hearts would beat in sync at least for Anaya.

_______*________

It was just so hard to stop myself because I felt it in my veins. Two young people who act more maturely than any of the grown-ups around them cant just take this life-changing decision of divorce when it can close all doors of a reconciliation their mature versions might want...i had to keep that window open for them.

Hope you liked this take on their story.

With love Morusya.