Chapter 15

15

"And when Daddy married her, mommy said I didnt have to live with them anymore. And then daddy said that.."

"Sana! Hun are you hungry?" Sarah interrupted her daughter who was telling Angad her life story. Angad looked up at Sarah and smiled. She was just too adorable. "Yes mommy, I am."

Sarah kneeled down in front of her daughter. "Okay well would you like to escort Angad to the food? He seems a bit hungry too." Sana nodded obediently. "Lets go Angad." He was still amazed at this little girl. "Okay fine, we can go. But only if I get to hold your hand."

"Oh gosh, you boys!" Sana rolled her eyes and held Angad's hand as they walked away. Sarah and Kripa smiled as they watched them walk away, hand in hand. Sarah turned to look at Kripa's lost smile and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Whats wrong Kripa?"

"Nothing. Just..thinking about...nothing."

"Thinking about what?"

Kripa thought about it for a moment and then said. "You know how sometimes you wish you hadnt made a certain decision. That maybe if would have chosen the other option, life would have been easier.."

"Why do you think so?"

"Sarah you know the decision I made a long time ago..what would have happened if I hadnt made that decision?" Sarah stood there, shcoked out of her mind. "Kripa? Youre not serious are you? Coz theres no way you can change your mind now!!", Sarah blurted out with anger.

"Relax Sarah. I wont ask for Sana. I gave her to you for a reason." Sarah felt a little guilty for being mean to Kripa.

"I know..im sorry but I just can afford to lose Sana."

"Sarah nine years ago when I gave Sana to you, I was hoping you could give her a better life than me. I was 17. I was naive, unable to take the responsibility. My parents didnt know I was pregnant. They still dont know anything about it." Kripa turned to face Sarah. "To this world, she's Sana Amaan, your daughter. And I really appreciate that you have loved her like she's your own child. Thank you.."

Sarah interrupted her by holding her hands. "Oh come on Kripa. I love Sana more than I've loved anyone. Even more than I've loved Samar. If you hadnt helped me out nine years ago I would have lost my sanity. Life with Samar was so shallow. He was never there for me but Sana kept me going. When I found out Samar got the custody for her, I went crazy!! It took me almost four years to get my daughter back home. Even tonight, I was hesitant to bring her here because I didnt want you to..."

"Well Im sorry if my presence around Sana makes you uncomfortable, Sarah. But really..you wont ever have to give her up. I'll deal." That was the truth.

In the past nine years, Kripa had never really wanted Sana back because she knew that Sarah would keep her happier. Nine years ago when Kripa had moved to the city for her career, she had never thought that she would end up in so much trouble. She was miserable without Angad around her all the time but she had to stay strong so she avoided calling him or taking his calls so she could get used to it. She occasionally visited her town, often spending most of the time with Angad saying nothing, yet everything.

When Angad had left her to go to London, she had the worst time of her life. The only solace she found was in her new friend. Her first modelling assignment was for the new fashion designer, Sarah Amaan. Then in her early twenties, Sarah had been Kripa's mentor and best friend. When Kripa saw that Sarah's marriage to her high school sweetheart, Samar, had hit the rocks, she had consoled Sarah in her worst times. They often shared their problems and sorrows yet Sarah never found out who the "boyfriend" was in Kripa's life. She knew nothing about Angad, even today. Kripa had always kept this a secret from everyone in her life.

A week after Angad was gone, Kripa had realized that she was pregnant. Without letting anyone know, including her parents, Kripa had secretly given birth to a beautiful young girl and named her Sana after her only sister she had lost to cancer when they were both little girls.

Seeing Sarah in an emotionally broken state, Kripa had decided to give her up to Sarah hoping that it would help her smile more often. She knew she couldnt give her daughter anything. She was still 17, still very young and innocent. Sarah, then 22, was more established and a lot more mature than Kripa. Furthermore, she was already married and wasnt able to conceive a baby. It seemed like the best option for Kripa and Sana at the time.

"Thanks Kripa.." She snapped back to reality at Sarah's words. "You gave me the most precious gift I have ever gotten! I can never forget that." Kripa nodded and placed her hand back on Sarah's. "Lets just forget this Sarah and start over okay? I mean we have stayed best friends for ten years. And we never let this issue impact our relationship. Then dont let it now. I will always have these flashbacks..its part of life and Ive accepted it. Sana can never be mine. She's your daughter. Sana Amaan. Not Sana Sharma. And next week is your daughter's ninth birthday! and we have to throw her a greattt party."

"You remembered?"

"Oh come on Sarah. I can never forget. The point now is that we gotta throw her a really great party. Invite all her friends and make her smile! yes?"

"Yes!" Sarah nodded as if she had taken a challenge.

"Mom!!" Sana came running towards Sarah. "Can we go home now?"

"Just a few more minutes honey. When the party ends, we can go. okay?"

"Please mommy? Please!!" Sarah gave into Sana's demand and turned to Kripa. "I'm sorry Kripa but I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow..umm.." She looked at Sana and then Kripa. "..for the thing we have to organize", referring to Sana's surprise party.

"Sure thing. I'll drop you off to the door." The three of them walked towards the exit but Sana stopped when she saw Angad standing in the corner. "Angad!" She ran to him and he picked her up. She gently kissed his cheek. "Are you leaving, beautiful?"

"I know you want me to stay, but I have to leave now."

"You do?" Angad sounded so disheartened and she smiled. "Yes but dont worry, I'll see you around. After all mommy is practically in love with you!" Sarah stood there, shocked. And Angad glanced at her with a smile. Kripa stood there, observing the two. "Sana, lets go sweetheart!" Sarah quickly took Sana in her arms. "I'm sorry Angad. you know kids are. They just dont know what theyre talking about. im sorry."

"Its okay, Sarah. Really." They stared at each other for a moment and then Saran snapped back to reality. "Um okay then. I'll see you later. Bye." Like her daughter, she kissed Angad's cheek and turned to leave. As Kripa escorted Sarah to the door, she quickly glanced at Angad. For some reason, she seemed angry with him. He didnt understand the look she gave him. It was a mix of anger, sadness, hurt, and love? He didnt know.

Sarah helped Sana into the back of the car and then got into the drivers seat herself. She couldnt believe what Sana had said to Angad. mommy is practically in love with you. It was true. For the past few months Sarah had gotten to know Angad a lot and yes she had kind of fallen for him. But she was confused herself. He had just turned 26, she was 31. Age was the only thing that kept her from taking any action. Besides, she was a mother. Why would any guy as good looking and as great as Angad want a woman who is older and has a child? Did she love him? She wasnt sure. But yes, she did love his company and perhaps she could live in his company forever!

As the party continued, the dance floor opened. The first dance started off with Simon and Kripa's dance. Angad stood in the corner, drinking his wine as he looked at them. Simon looked like he was the happiest man ever. The smile on his lips reached his eyes. Yet the smile on Kripa's face did not mirror that of Simon's. Angad carefully scrutinized her expression. Yes there was a smile but it was so superficial. She was scared for some reason. Why? He didnt know. But he wanted to.

As Simon twirled Kripa around so gracefully, her eyes suddenly fell on Angad. She danced with Simon but her mind was where Angad was. She was guilty. She had hidden such a big truth from him and now she was doing something else to hurt him. This marriage would change everything forever. Yet she had to do it, for herself more than for anyone else. She felt ashamed for being so selfish. Yet, she didnt want to change anything that was happening now. She would marry Simon and that was it!

"I'm quite surprised to see you here, Mr. Khanna!" Angad froze. It was the voice he never wanted to hear in his life and yet today, ten years later, there is was! Mr. Sharma. Angad gathered himself and turned around. "Mr. Sharma! Its been a long time!"

"It definitely has." There was a sarcastic smile on his face. "I thought my daughter was done with you. Yet it still amazes me how you decide to hang around like this."

"I was invited to this party. but believe me when I say that I had no intentions of coming here."

"Yes yes, I'm sure. Besides, thats what they all say. You know..the obsessed lover boys. well I dont really blame you, Young man. My daughter is that amazing!"

"Youre daughter is more than amazing Sir! But I respect you enough to not give you the details of our encounters. So if you could excuse me, I have other things to do." Angad turned around to leave when he heard Mr. Sharma's voice again. "You know I'm proud of my daughter for making the right decision. NO ONE can come close to Simon. I mean I know my daughters had several boyfriends. But the only real man is Simon. Dont you agree Mr. Khanna?"

Angad held his anger inside him. But he turned around to face him. "Well my opinion doesnt really matter does it? You know..you should ask your daughter who the "real man" is. I'm sure she's quite familiar with the manhood of all her boyfriends. You know what I mean right? Well I dont really care if you dont. See you later Mr. Sharma." He turned around again but then stopped. "No on a second note. I hope I dont see you again!" Angry, Angad stormed out of the place. He could have never spoken to Kripa's father in this manner if he wasnt as drunk as he was right now!

Angad quickly got into his car and started driving, not fully aware of the things around him. When he turned at the corner, he saw another car coming his way. He had entered the ONE WAY street and obviously he was going the wrong way. Suddenly, he turned his steering wheel all the way and ended up at the edge of the road. The car crashed against a tree but yet Angad wasnt hurt. He slammed the steering wheel with his arm and got out. Angry and intoxicated, he grabbed a nearby rock and was about to throw it at his car's window when someone grabbed his arm. "Angad!!"

"Sarah?" He threw the rock away and turned to face her. "What are you doing here?"

"I forgot my purse at Kripa's party so I came back to get it. What is wrong with you? Are you drunk?"

"Just a bit."

"A bit! Oh come on Angad. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Youre fashion show is in two weeks. You cant keep hurting yourself!" Angad moved back and almost pushed Sarah away. "Why does it matter if I hurt myself? No one in this world cares for me! Why do you care so much?"

"Because I love you for Christ's sake!!", she blurted out what she didnt know herself but had just realized. She froze and then moved back, her eyes on the ground.

"Sarah?" She didnt move. "Just forget it Angad. I'm sorry." They stood there for a few moments, just looking at each other. When her lips moved to say something, Angad grabbed her face and kissed her.