Chapter 11
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chapter 11:
Inside the truck it was dark, only minimal natural light coming in from the outside, there were holes to let in air but it was still early in the morning. Raj didn't move from the spot he had sat in before the truck starting moving, afraid that he'd end up injuring himself by tripping over something. He could hear movements in the darkness, Naina was rustling through her bag, looking for something. Finally she made a sound as if she had been successful and suddenly there was light again as she switched on a small portable lamp.
They were wedged into a small space at the back behind crates, they were hidden so well that it would have been impossible for anyone opening the back of the truck to spot them. In the dim light they stared at each other, neither quite believing that the other was really there. Naina examined Raj, taking in the bruises on his skin, aching to reach out and touch the scar above his eyebrow, sooth the pain that she saw clearly written on his face. She clenched her hands in her lap, knowing that such an action was impossible. She had no right to comfort him, no right to touch him.
Raj was also staring at Naina, noticing the differences that had occurred since the last time he had seen her. Her hair was longer, and darker, as if she might have dyed it. There was a small stud in her nose, and the difference which he couldn't ignore, but wished he could… the ring on her finger. But there were so many familiar things about her too, the way that she had braided her hair for this mission, so similar to how it had been at KMA. They way she sat cross legged comfortably on the floor. The way she was clenching her hands in nervousness.
Finally Naina reached for the bag again, searching through it until she pulled out a bottle of water and a container of food.
"These are for you, Sir." She told him, "We thought that you'd need them."
Raj took them gratefully, it had been hours since he had last eaten, and it seemed like an age since he had last had a proper meal. He offered both of them to her first, but Naina shook her head. "I'm not hungry." She told him, and he started on the food.
As he ate he waited for her to say something, to give some explanation for what was going on, but she stayed silent. She was watching him eat while trying to pretend that she wasn't. He could feel her eyes on him as he bent over the container, lifting the food to his mouth.
When the food was finished he pushed both the container and bottle aside, and stretched his legs out in front of him, just to the side of her. She was still as beautiful as she had ever been, the only difference being that now she was even more out of his reach than before.
"Naina," he said, and her head jerked up as if in his surprise at him speaking, "Why did you do this?"
She looked at him as if the question was stupid and she had no idea why he was asking it. "You were going to be killed, Sir." She told him, "We couldn't let that happen."
"But at the risk of your own lives, your careers, your reputations? Do you know what's going to happen to all of you now?"
Naina shook her head, "Nothing is going to happen to Yudi and Alekh. Both of them have good alibis for where they were at the time of the ambush. I'm the only one that we couldn't find an excuse for."
"Why, Naina?" he asked her, frustrated "What was the need for you to get yourself into this mess?" He folded his legs so he was sitting cross legged again and leaned forward, regarding her intensely. "Why did you need to ruin your life this way? I told you what the plan was, you would've been successful. If you hadn't done this, then you could've proven Navin innocent in a matter of weeks!" then a thought struck him, it couldn't be… "Unless you didn't manage to get the box… Did something go wrong?"
Naina looked up at him, anger burning in her eyes. "You think that I came to get you because of that damn box? Is proving Navin bhaiyya innocent the only important thing in this world? You were going to be killed, damn it! I couldn't let that happen!"
Raj can see the anger clearly written on her face and knows he's made a mistake, "Naina, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that…"
Suddenly Naina's face falls, and all of the anger drains out of it. "Why not, Sir?" she asks him "You're right, the only times I've ever done anything for you was when it was for my own benefit." She wishes that they weren't crammed into the back of a damn truck so that she could at least go somewhere where she wouldn't have to face him.
Raj's face softens, he can tell that she's hurt by what he said. "Naina… Do you realise what you've sacrificed to do this? Your family… your friends… your… Do you realise that until we're successful in our mission you're going to be thought of as a traitor?"
"Why, Sir?" she asks him, tears shining in her eyes, "Did you hesitate in helping me because of any of these reasons? Did you worry about being called a traitor?"
"But that was different… that was…" He can't finish the sentence, because it's far too late for any confessions now. "I had good reason not to care." He finishes lamely.
"So why can't I also have a good reason not to care?" she asks him, "Why is it that I should be concerned when you weren't?"
"My case was different, Naina." He tells her, "I… had nothing left to lose."
He can't tell her that he had done it because he loved her, because by that stage that was as much of a reason as wanting to prove Navin innocent. He would have done anything for her, even if it cost him his life. He had made her a promise that he would prove her brother innocent, no matter what happened. He would've done anything for the sake of her love, without expecting anything in return. But her reasons… her reasons can't be the same as that.
"Did you think," she whispers sadly, "That I had nothing left to lose either? That if you died…" she can't finish the sentence, not even wanting to think about it.
He wants to take her in his arms. He wants to confess how he feels for her and kiss her long and hard. He wants to tell her that her rescuing him has restored his faith and made him whole again. But he can't. Many things stop him, and the most obvious is the ring on her finger.
"And Huda?" he asks her quietly. "What about him?"
Naina stares at him. The emptiness of the truck fills up with the silence between them.
"Huda?" she asks.
"Yes, I heard that you got engaged. Congratulations by the way, I'm sorry that I missed it." He knows that he's sounding childish now, but he can't help it. He had hoped… He had hoped that after she accomplished her mission she would come to him, that she would love him the way that he loved her.
Naina's face hardens, concealing whatever emotions she is feeling.
"Huda will understand." She tells him.
Raj isn't so sure.
**
chapter 11:
Inside the truck it was dark, only minimal natural light coming in from the outside, there were holes to let in air but it was still early in the morning. Raj didn't move from the spot he had sat in before the truck starting moving, afraid that he'd end up injuring himself by tripping over something. He could hear movements in the darkness, Naina was rustling through her bag, looking for something. Finally she made a sound as if she had been successful and suddenly there was light again as she switched on a small portable lamp.
They were wedged into a small space at the back behind crates, they were hidden so well that it would have been impossible for anyone opening the back of the truck to spot them. In the dim light they stared at each other, neither quite believing that the other was really there. Naina examined Raj, taking in the bruises on his skin, aching to reach out and touch the scar above his eyebrow, sooth the pain that she saw clearly written on his face. She clenched her hands in her lap, knowing that such an action was impossible. She had no right to comfort him, no right to touch him.
Raj was also staring at Naina, noticing the differences that had occurred since the last time he had seen her. Her hair was longer, and darker, as if she might have dyed it. There was a small stud in her nose, and the difference which he couldn't ignore, but wished he could… the ring on her finger. But there were so many familiar things about her too, the way that she had braided her hair for this mission, so similar to how it had been at KMA. They way she sat cross legged comfortably on the floor. The way she was clenching her hands in nervousness.
Finally Naina reached for the bag again, searching through it until she pulled out a bottle of water and a container of food.
"These are for you, Sir." She told him, "We thought that you'd need them."
Raj took them gratefully, it had been hours since he had last eaten, and it seemed like an age since he had last had a proper meal. He offered both of them to her first, but Naina shook her head. "I'm not hungry." She told him, and he started on the food.
As he ate he waited for her to say something, to give some explanation for what was going on, but she stayed silent. She was watching him eat while trying to pretend that she wasn't. He could feel her eyes on him as he bent over the container, lifting the food to his mouth.
When the food was finished he pushed both the container and bottle aside, and stretched his legs out in front of him, just to the side of her. She was still as beautiful as she had ever been, the only difference being that now she was even more out of his reach than before.
"Naina," he said, and her head jerked up as if in his surprise at him speaking, "Why did you do this?"
She looked at him as if the question was stupid and she had no idea why he was asking it. "You were going to be killed, Sir." She told him, "We couldn't let that happen."
"But at the risk of your own lives, your careers, your reputations? Do you know what's going to happen to all of you now?"
Naina shook her head, "Nothing is going to happen to Yudi and Alekh. Both of them have good alibis for where they were at the time of the ambush. I'm the only one that we couldn't find an excuse for."
"Why, Naina?" he asked her, frustrated "What was the need for you to get yourself into this mess?" He folded his legs so he was sitting cross legged again and leaned forward, regarding her intensely. "Why did you need to ruin your life this way? I told you what the plan was, you would've been successful. If you hadn't done this, then you could've proven Navin innocent in a matter of weeks!" then a thought struck him, it couldn't be… "Unless you didn't manage to get the box… Did something go wrong?"
Naina looked up at him, anger burning in her eyes. "You think that I came to get you because of that damn box? Is proving Navin bhaiyya innocent the only important thing in this world? You were going to be killed, damn it! I couldn't let that happen!"
Raj can see the anger clearly written on her face and knows he's made a mistake, "Naina, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that…"
Suddenly Naina's face falls, and all of the anger drains out of it. "Why not, Sir?" she asks him "You're right, the only times I've ever done anything for you was when it was for my own benefit." She wishes that they weren't crammed into the back of a damn truck so that she could at least go somewhere where she wouldn't have to face him.
Raj's face softens, he can tell that she's hurt by what he said. "Naina… Do you realise what you've sacrificed to do this? Your family… your friends… your… Do you realise that until we're successful in our mission you're going to be thought of as a traitor?"
"Why, Sir?" she asks him, tears shining in her eyes, "Did you hesitate in helping me because of any of these reasons? Did you worry about being called a traitor?"
"But that was different… that was…" He can't finish the sentence, because it's far too late for any confessions now. "I had good reason not to care." He finishes lamely.
"So why can't I also have a good reason not to care?" she asks him, "Why is it that I should be concerned when you weren't?"
"My case was different, Naina." He tells her, "I… had nothing left to lose."
He can't tell her that he had done it because he loved her, because by that stage that was as much of a reason as wanting to prove Navin innocent. He would have done anything for her, even if it cost him his life. He had made her a promise that he would prove her brother innocent, no matter what happened. He would've done anything for the sake of her love, without expecting anything in return. But her reasons… her reasons can't be the same as that.
"Did you think," she whispers sadly, "That I had nothing left to lose either? That if you died…" she can't finish the sentence, not even wanting to think about it.
He wants to take her in his arms. He wants to confess how he feels for her and kiss her long and hard. He wants to tell her that her rescuing him has restored his faith and made him whole again. But he can't. Many things stop him, and the most obvious is the ring on her finger.
"And Huda?" he asks her quietly. "What about him?"
Naina stares at him. The emptiness of the truck fills up with the silence between them.
"Huda?" she asks.
"Yes, I heard that you got engaged. Congratulations by the way, I'm sorry that I missed it." He knows that he's sounding childish now, but he can't help it. He had hoped… He had hoped that after she accomplished her mission she would come to him, that she would love him the way that he loved her.
Naina's face hardens, concealing whatever emotions she is feeling.
"Huda will understand." She tells him.
Raj isn't so sure.
**
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