chapter 6

Imp/N - There was some confusion after last chapter's last para, so clarifying it. Khushi was not emotionally detached from Arnav, she was just hesitant to term her emotions as 'love', due to her past with Nishant. It was shown through background scenes in the first 5 chapters, but sorry if it didn't come out as clear.

Kehna galat galat song

Below chapter was the first chapter I wrote when I thought of this story and the song above kind of inspired ❤

--*--

Arnav sighed as he watched Khushi leave for her work that afternoon. It had been 2 weeks since she started working in the same hospital as Nishant's and as any medical professional, she too had shift duties. It was her evening shift today, which meant she would be home well past-dinner time.

He knew this was necessary, at least until he found a job again. Thanks to her work, they could now not worry for bills and payments for another few months, in fact they could also re-appoint their housekeep Hariprakash kaka aka HP.

But sometimes, he couldn't help feeling restless. After his outburst that night many weeks ago, and his promise to Khushi that he trusted her regarding her past, he had been really trying. Trying to to look past her past, trying to not think of any negative thoughts. But then, glimpses of his own dark past would crawl in his mind and leave him unfocussed. The images when a 13-year him found his mother hug another man, the image of his father in arms of another woman and finally them telling him they were over each other and apparently over him too...

He was fighting those demons for so long but after his marriage with Khushi, he had had no reason to face them again. Until recently. Recent events managed to evoke those sleeping beasts somehow. So, right now, there were two voices in his head, one was of sanity which told him to trust their togetherness and other of insanity which made him doubt her commitment to him.

He took the cup of warm coffee that HP brought and sat on a loveseat sofa, watching the rain. It seemed it was going to be a heavy downpour tonight.

--*--

In the 2 weeks that Khushi was working in the hospital same as Nishant's they never had any interactions. Their lines of duty were different and their timings too, so they hardly got to meet or talk. Worked better for Khushi who was glad to have a decent earning until Arnav recovered without any other complications but Nishant wanted to speak with her once. To get a closure, to apologize to her which he never did.

When Nishant left for his 2-year post grad and deliberately didn't keep any contact with Khushi, he wanted to fully focus on making a career and then maybe think of a marriage. He knew he was wrong, but he was not ready to accept it then. That was when he got a shock hearing about Khushi's marriage. It was as if she said yes to the first guy that asked her!

He had been angry, but mostly regretful. Of not making any commitment to her, of not having courage to meet her family and assure them that he will come back for her. He had chosen to be distanced from her and now she was actually distanced from his forever.

.

.

"Khushi? Hi. Ready to leave?" Nishant caught Khushi in the hospital lobby as she was about done with her shift and opening her umbrella before stepping out. It was one of those stormy nights in Mumbai and she worried if that meant disruption in transport.

"Hi Dr. Nishant. Yeah, just leaving." She said, opening the Uber app to see if she can get a cab.

"Khushi I- urmm- I actually wanted to apologize." He hurriedly said. He decided this was as good time as ever when he could get to talk to her and finally do something he owed her long ago.

She looked at him questioningly, not understanding why he was suddenly saying sorry.

"I- erm- for that day. I mean for not being with you-"he fumbled with words and saw realization dawn on her face. So, without wasting time in preamble, he said, "I am truly, truly sorry Khushi. I was wrong, I shouldn't have left you like that." He said and khushi felt slightly shocked with a sudden remembrance of that particular event in her life.

She had played this moment so many times in her mind during that one year when he had vanished in thin air without giving them any proper closure. She was angry then, she was heartbroken. But now, as he said those words, he owned his mistake, she found nothing but calmness within her. She realized she had subconsciously forgotten him long ago-even if not forgiven-simply as it didn't matter anymore, she hadn't held any grudges against him and thus, perhaps she wasn't even waiting for his apology. And she knew this was only because now her heart had given that place to Arnav...Arnav was the only man now who mattered, who could hurt her, who could make her angry or upset, whose words would make difference in her life. And as she realized that she smiled to herself.

In any case, she acknowledged his words. She knew whatever their past was, they both needed to have this one conversation. He did his part. And so, she did hers, "It's ok Nishant. I forgive you." she said and saw him leave a huge sigh of relief.

"Really? Thank you so much, Khushi. I -you- you don't know how much it killed me to realize how insensitively I behaved with you." he said, running a hand through his hair

"It's ok Nishant, that was our past. It's best we let it go now." She said and he nodded.

.

They both stood watching the rain from the window in the hospital lobby.

.

He suddenly asked, "do you remember that one time when we were going to Lonawala? And my bike broke? And we took shelter under the bridge?"

She smiled thinking of that time of 5-6 years ago which seemed like a lifetime ago, and nodded, "yes. we were really crazy."

And then something magical happened. She suddenly remembered the trip to Lonawala with Arnav. Sure, that wasn't as adventures, but it was very special. They had stayed at this luxury resort, and she had insisted to go out in the rain. Arnav tried to hold her hand, but she was adamant. She stepped out on the balcony of their suite and pulled him...she enjoyed getting drenched in rain, and then realized his gaze on her...one thing led to other, and they kissed. That was her first kiss with Arnav...

.

As her mind played this kaleidoscope of memories, she realized something beautiful. The feelings that she had for Arnav, what she felt as duty, responsibility, affection, even possessiveness, had a color of love too. It was lying dormant in her heart maybe, but it was there. She realized, love has many colors, many forms, and it can appear in life in different times. What she once felt for Nishant was love of an innocent youth, what she felt for Arnav now was a mature love for a lifetime...

And as she realized that she wanted to run home and declare it to Arnav as soon as she could. She couldn't wait...

.

And then, their attention went to the TV screen in hospital lobby which showed a newsflash: 'Disruption of Mumbai public transport due to heavy rainfall, no local trains until the repair work completed next day, many roads closed too due to water logging.'

She panicked. Quickly checking her phone, she realized it was true indeed. No taxies were available neither any other means to go home.

"Khushi, it looks like it won't clear until tomorrow morning." Nishant said worriedly, as khushi was trying to reach Arnav on her phone. Also, her heart was now yearning for her child too, who had never stayed without her for so long.

Khushi absent mindedly nodded and tried to reach him again.

Nishant hesitated for a bit, and then asked, "I- erm-my house is just 5 minutes walk from here, if you'd like to-"

She looked up in shock and quickly covered it before answering, "no, thanks Dr. Nishant, I will try to get something, or stay here in the hospital." She knew he probably meant well but she didn't want to create any unnecessary complications for the 3 of them...

He understood, nodded and said before leaving, "let me know if you need anything, I will be here tomorrow morning for my morning shift."

.

.

Khushi tried to get mobile signal for long time and finally gave up, before texting him, "Arnav, I am stuck at hospital; not getting any cab and all roads are closed too. I'll come home in the morning, pls take care and take care of Aaradhya too." she hoped it would be delivered.

--*--

Arnav was lying on their master bed and from the half open window shades, he could see early morning sunrays. It was raining the entire night and had heavy winds too. But looked like it had cleared now. He sighed and looked at the bedside table and noted time. It showed 7 am. And Khushi hadn't returned yet!

He had called her many times, but none could connect. And then, he got text sometime in the night saying she was staying at the hospital, post that he was somewhat relaxed. But until she got back he would not be totally at ease...and then that nagging feeling, was she with Nishant?

There was also this other side of his, where he was also eagerly waiting for her because he wanted to surprise her with something...he could walk without any support now! He wanted to see her joy when she would see that.

.

.

Soon, he got a call from her that she was leaving for home and reaching soon. So, he left Aaradhya with HP and went downstairs to welcome her and also surprise her with his full recovery in walking!

But he got a surprise himself! As he watched her get down from Nishant's car, and worse still, Nishant too got down, gave her a quick hug and left.

Arnav felt numb. His worst fears had come true.

Khushi had not noticed him from where he was standing...Without saying a word, he got back in the elevator and went to their apartment.

.

.

When Khushi had spent that restless night in the hospital lobby, by morning she was desperate to go home to Arnav and their daughter. But when she still couldn't get a taxi that early, Nishant's help to drop her home seemed like a good idea. When she called Arnav, she didn't mention this in her own hazy state of mind.

She opened the door with a spare key of their apartment and in her excitement to see her husband and her baby, didn't notice Arnav was waiting for her in the hall.

A Storm had begun...

"Where were you, Khushi?" she stopped in her steps as Arnav's voice reached her ears.

Right now, he was not that understanding husband who had promised her to trust her, he was that tormented boy whose parents' marriage fell apart due to infidelity.

kehnaa ghalat ghalat to chupaana sahi sahi
(Speak falsely to hide the truth)

"I was stuck due to rain, Arnav. I texted you..." she said with confusion, and he could see she was nervous. Her reason for nervousness was her new realization of love for her husband but his perception was she had done something which she was hiding from him.

ye subah subah chehre ki rangat udee hui
(Your face has lost color this early morning)

He observed her face for a long time and then nodded. She heaved a sigh of relief. She wanted to freshen up, and then talk to him. But for some reason, she felt his eyes held questions and accusations for her and she didn't like that.

As a confused Khushi started going towards their room, Arnav's voice stopped her

"Wait."

She turned and looked at him questioningly.

"I can't do this anymore." he said, running his hands on his tired face

"What do you mean?"

"This" he indicated to the space between them "I can't do this anymore khushi. I can't live with this feeling that you are still close to your ex; I can't help thinking that you know every little thing about him, and so does he and I certainly can't look beyond the fact that you came home with him after being away for a night!" he thundered the last sentence in dangerously high voice, and she flinched.

kal raat tum kaha the bataana sahi sahi
(Where exactly were you last night? Tell me the truth)

Storm kept brewing

Angry tears made way through her eyes. She knew he was insecure; she knew he had reservation about Nishant earlier but after last few days and his assurances, this was shocking. What he was insinuating, what he was accusing, in fact questioning her character was unacceptable to her.

'Please, please, please Arnav, don't talk to me like that, don't doubt my character. We are better than that. please.' she mentally begged.

"I want to know about last night." in the battle between sanity and insanity in his head, insane voice in Arnav's head won!

"What about last night? I told you I was at the hospital, right?" she asked and he didn't answer

She held his hand, "Please Arnav. Please don't do this. Please don't let my past create a difference between us, we are stronger than that. Aren't we? We decided we will look past that right? You said, you trusted me. Is it my mistake that I had someone in my life before you, Arnav? Or is it my mistake that I was honest with you?"

He removed her hand and asked sharply, "Just tell me, were you with Nishant last night? If not, call him and put the phone on speaker, asking him if you both were together." his madness spoke, and she felt horrified.

"Arnav, please, don't do this." she begged tearfully. A question on her character was something she couldn't tolerate. And his demand to call Nishant would make her more ashamed and mortified if anything.

"Yes or no Khushi?"

"How can you ask me that?" Were his suspicions so big that he ignored the reality? It was raining, the public transport was closed and she had told him she was at the hospital, yet he was still conjuring up things in his mind and going so low as to question her character!

"I can ask, because I am the same man whose wife remembers her ex-boyfriend's food allergies, who stays away for a whole night, comes home with her ex-boyfriend and YEAH, she still would never ever say she loves me."

And that was it!

Those words were like acid to khushi's ears. He had so much of venom buried in his heart, all those promises, all those assurances were fake after all! She had really had enough! She knew whatever she said, he would only think what he had assumed. What his insecurities had made him see. And frankly she was tired.

Fine. If he could stoop low, so could she! It was somehow her tit for tat to him! Her insanity to his!

"You're right, Arnav. I was out the entire night, and I was with my ex-boyfriend! I haven't said I love you because you know what? I don't think anyone can!" she said in a challenging tone and saw his expressions turn from intimidating to shocked and finally angry.

But she continued, "A person like you who can't trust anyone, who is always upset, angry or sad. How can anyone love you? Maybe that is why even your parents didn't want you because they also couldn't love you! You don't deserve love." she sadistically said, even when a loud alarm bell in her head was ringing and telling her to stop, to not say anything that will make this worse. But she ignored every sane thought, every warning bell. When he questioned her character, especially when she was going to tell him she loved him, all that remained was to also make him feel as hurt as he did to her.

.

She watched as colors drained off his face. She knew how much he hated his parents. Heck, she herself wouldn't have done that in her sane mind. But right now, after what he had just said, she didn't think twice. A thought that she could have stayed calm and explained him what had really happened didn't even touch her mind.

Arnav didn't say anything for a long time.

But the stunned silence finally brought her anger down and her senses back.

It was too late though. His face looked pale, as if someone punched him in gut. And she realized what she said, what she did...

She stepped near him, to hold his arm, and he jerked away at her touch, burning at the sensation.

And then he said in deathly low voice, "leave."

She didn't hear it properly, so she asked, "what?"

"LEAVE DAMMIT!" he shouted, and she stood there frozen, unable to believe he was literally throwing her out.

She was at least remorseful but he was least bit aware that he TOO had said worst things to her!

"I NEED YOU TO LEAVE, RIGHT NOW KHUSHI! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE." he shouted and that hit the final nail in coffin.

Her self respect was at stake now!

"Who are you to ask me to leave Arnav? I will go myself. Mera dum ghoot raha hain ab tumhare sath (I feel suffocated with you right now)." she said, frustrated running a shaky hand through her messy hair. Her words almost chocked him! This was one thing he had prayed and prayed never happened to his marriage but that is exactly what was happening!

"Finally, you spoke the truth! Of course, you will feel suffocated with me now! Go Khushi, your boyfriend must be waiting for you. Get lost!"

And so angry and hurt she was, that an irate khushi, without thinking anything, without trying to salvage her failing marriage, without thinking of their child, turned on her heel and left, closing the door with a bang behind her

And the storm subsided leaving full destruction in it's wake...

.

.

It would take 1 full day for her anger to subside, 24 hours for her to finally decide to try and make sense in her husband's mind, 1 day and night when a mother's heart in her couldn't stay without her child anymore, that she learnt it was too late.

Arnav had left. From their apartment, the country, and her life. Taking their child with him. He had wiped his entire existence from her life.

Taking hers.

--*--

A/N – So, there we go. Questions asked which should never have been asked, things said which should never have been said and now they can't be taken back *sigh*. I'll leave it up to you to decide who is wrong or more wrong. But outburst of emotions was inevitable. There is also something that happened within those 24 hours before he left, but that's for next chapter. Also, this is midpoint of this story, and the characters will have a long way home, but rest assured it's always arnav-khushi the endgame in all my stories or I won't write on them. I'll be back from my vacation in Jan first week but have a lot of work commitments after that. So, next update will be around 15th Jan'23 or later. Stay tuned.

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year. ❤🤗

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