A Beautiful Mess

2 years ago

Maddy

@iMadz

Samsher was disappointed. 

If not only disappointed, he was a little shocked as well. He really hoped that Sheru would have gone to his village and would come back to support him in his case against his father. When he saw Sheru's dead body lying on the road, all his hopes were shattered. He came home disappointed and Mahek did console him. They eventually had nothing on their hands. While she was ready to leave it up to her destiny, he wasn't planning on that. Shamsher wanted to go head to head with his father for the wrong he did to them. 

With this chain of thoughts, he was on his way to pick her up from her work the next day. As he reached there, Mahek was already waiting for him. They were leaving and suddenly Mehak remembered that she forgot something at her desk and she decided to go back in and when she was moving towards the stairs, he saw the man. He was noticing something odd from the beginning but he was unsure but now he knew. As soon as he saw the man moving a little closer to them, he called Mahek but she didn’t hear and went ahead. And then he saw the man removing his shawl and revealing a gun, which was pointed at her. He immediately ran and pushed Mahek and a loud gunshot was heard. The bullet went straight to the glass door in front of them and broke it and chaos ensued. People started running frantically. Shamsher looked at the man, he was not going anywhere, he was standing there as if waiting for them to get up and then he could resume again. They were covered in the shards of the glass entirely, he was injured, he thought.  More than him, Mahek was shocked and clueless about what actually happened in the last fraction of second but before she could understand anything, Shamsher grabbed her hand and asked her to run as fast as she could. And she did. 

The man did follow them and somewhere in the middle of the road, Shamsher understood that the man was not alone, he was accompanied by two other men. Shamsher had to think and he had to think fast…or they would be dead. In a minute, probably. He calculated mentally, two of three men looked like they were in their forties and one looked a little younger. He would outweigh them any given day, thanks to his hardworking and expensive gym routine built up for years. But before anything, he had to make sure that Mahek was safe. 

By the time they managed to get on the nearby street, there were more shots. By then, Mahek understood clearly what was happening and ran along with Shamsher for her dear life. She held his hand tightly and supported him whenever he was trying to hide anywhere. The three men chased them as long as they could. Fortunately, Mahek and Shamsher found the busiest street of the night where there were almost hundreds of people, shopping, eating and having fun. They immediately disguised themselves in the busy market. Shamsher grabbed Mahek and went to the one narrow street of the many. 

‘Are you okay?’ he asked, panting heavily. 

‘Yes, not a scratch! And you?’ asked Mahek, still scared and shocked for them. 

‘Perfect!’ he said and held her for a minute. They knew how terrible a lie it was! 

And they were interrupted again. This time, those men stood for a minute and Shamsher made up his mind. He hid Mahek behind her and asked her to stay behind him safe at all cost. 

'If anyone touches her, he will be dead.' he declared strongly. 

'The first man forward will be the first man down!' he warned.  

Shamsher was a stubborn, headstrong, brave and logical man. His situation may have changed but his attitude was still the same. 

He warned and then they came ahead. One by one he had to fight them all…the gun was lost somewhere and he just needed to find it. In the middle of his fighting with the men, Mahek came forward with a gun and threatened them all which for a second brought a small smile to him. Mahek would never accept but she was just like Shamsher. They both shared an equal level of passion and attitude in some aspects of life. He realised it the day when he got to know that Mahek threw water on Farwa. So much like him. 

The men were already physically weak after the fight, and now they were scared as well. Shamsher took the gun from Mahek and scarred them further. And they literally ran away. Mahek immediately came forward and held Shamsher. 

'You are injured, Shamsher!' she exclaimed. 

Strange that he didn't even notice. He was still not noticing. All he wanted was to go home safe with Mahek. Somewhere during the chaos, he noticed that his right shoulder was injured and he was having occasional pain, a sharp tug here and there but he genuinely was not focused on his pain because he wanted to make sure that Mahek was safe. 

‘I am fine!’ he said, failing to hide the tiredness and pain from his voice. 

‘But there is blood on your shoulder…’

‘...it's nothing, Mahek. I am fine! Let's go home.’ snapped Shamsher.

He was not done being angry. It was dangerously close tonight.  

Mahek insisted that they go to hospital and tend to his injuries but Shamsher was not in a mood. He was beyond mad tonight and all he wanted was to secure Mahek and then deal with his father. On the way to their home, Shamsher could not notice but Mahek constantly held his hand and checked on him without a single doubt in her mind. Shamsher was raging, almost blind in anger and he was determined that tonight would be the night when matter would be closed. He was hell bent on taking revenge. 

As soon as they reached home, he saw his elder brother waiting for them at the gate. He literally pounced on him at the sight, all the pain forgotten once again. 

‘Ask your father to come directly if he wants to kill her! Then I will show him…Don’t send the puppets!’ he shouted while grabbing his collar. 

Mahek tried to stop him but he didn’t. 

‘He is your father as well, Shamsher…’ 

‘...no he is not! My father can’t be like this. He is not.’ he screamed again. 

His brother removed himself from the tight grip and looked at them helplessly. He slumped his shoulders in defeat and asked Mahek if they could go inside and talk. But before Mahek could answer, Shamsher rejected the offer. 

‘Whatever you have to say, say it now and say it here only. And be quick!’ Shamsher snapped. 

‘Baba Saheb will not stop, Shamsher. I am here to warn you. If you are smart then you would not wish to come in front of him tonight. Those men were not just here to kill Mahek, but you as well. I came to know late and rushed here immediately to check on you. Please go somewhere we can’t find you or do anything to sort this out. He will not leave you two alone, not while he is alive!’ he stopped for a second.  

‘I love you my baby brother and I respect you. Whatever you are doing, it takes a lot of courage which only few people have! We were always worried about you that you will end up achieving nothing in life but what you are doing right now is far better than what many men can’t achieve during their entire lifetime. You have become a big man, Shamsher.  And I trust that you love Mahek but you have to do something, Shamsher. I can help you in any way I can. Of course, father can’t know about this or he will have me killed as well. Our father doesn’t think beyond black and white, Shamsher and that is his weakness for which he will pay someday but at present, you and Mahek have to secure yourselves. I have already lost my mother, I don’t want to lose my brother as well. I love you…’ and with that he hugged Shamsher and held him for a good long time.  

‘Please hide or sort this but I beg you, stay alive!’ Dara begged him.

‘Mahek, please take care of my brother. Please! And take care of yourself as well.’ he said to Mahek as he moved away further and went away quickly without being noticed. 

Both Shamsher and Mahek were shocked. Of the two, Mahek was a little normal. Shamsher had a textbook definition of shock written all over his face. He already knew that his father could stoop this low for his godforsaken belief but still it did hurt. And it hurt deeply. Mahek went ahead, closed the gate, took Shamsher in and made him sit. Shamsher was not uttering any word, all his anger was forgotten, he just sat blankly. Mahek asked him to change so that she can tend to his wounds but he did not say anything. Mahek once again asked but he did not move, he was just so shocked and tired. Shamsher held his head between his hands and sank as if to surrender. He didn’t even notice that Mahek was already removing his shirt, and cleaning his right shoulder. And that did hurt. Pain was good for him so that he could remember everything. The mess he had made. 

The glass shards were so tiny that Mahek had to use tweezers for that and with each tiny piece coming out Mahek hissed in pain. More than Shamsher, it was becoming painful for her. In between Mahek was also muttering about going to hospital or medicines, something which Shamsher could not comprehend between his blurred phase and disturbed mind. Shamsher remained still, occasionally moving a little due to unbearable pain but he didn’t utter a single word or complained. He welcomed the pain and took it as a punishment. He deserved this, he thought. 

He was so lost in thoughts that when everything was done and Mahek was checking him for any other injuries, he realised. And the realisation hit him hard. The girl whom he tortured and married forcefully was sympathizing with him, the girl whom his father wanted dead just because Shamsher loved her. She was so selfless that she was helping him, taking care of him even after he had been a monster to her. And that broke the dam. He really was a monster and he failed everyone! Mahek was perfectly fine without him, she would be free, alive and happy if he hadn’t fallen in love with her. His only mistake. How come he lives with this? What has he done to a young, beautiful and smart woman? The strange thing about this realisation was that it was flashing in front of his eyes and with each memory, he was breaking further. It came at hurricane speed. Unknown to him, tears came hard, hot and fast and he made no move to stop them, rather he surrendered and hid his face in his hands from the utter shame, guilt and defeat he felt. 

‘What happened, Shamsher?’ ask Mehak, completely surprised.  

He still did not utter a word. He shook his head in disbelief of his reality. For the first time since he saw Mahek, he had no clue what he was going to do. He did not have a single idea, he just wept. 

‘Shamsher…I am fine. Look at me. There’s not even a single scratch on my body. See for yourself. I am perfectly fine. Please don’t be upset!’ Mahek touched his other shoulder which was not injured. But Shamsher did not lift his head, he kept shivering and heaved uncontrollably, partly due to the adrenaline rush taking off and in the shock of the injury. 

‘Shamsher…’

‘I messed up…’ and he looked up. His face and eyes were red with shame and pain. But there was a strange level of determination in his eyes along with sadness. He cleaned his face and looked at Mahek firmly. 

‘I ruined your life, Mahek. He will not leave us alone. As long as you are with me…he will not leave you alone. He will kill you. With me or without me…he will kill you someday! And it’s on me. I am the one who did this.’ Shamsher sobbed. There was no better way to say it and he had to band-aid it.  

Mahek wanted to oppose this but she took a better judgement and decided to let Shamsher speak everything up. 

‘There is only one way I can clean this mess. And that’s a separation. I love you so much that I can’t live without you but the past few months have taught me the real meaning of love and I have to let you go, Mahek. I can tell my father that I have left you and then he will leave you alone. I will also ask for forgiveness. I just had to make one condition that you stay safe, and you move to somewhere else, not even in this country. Far away from here…safe and happy. I just had to make a deal with him. I want you to stay alive…for you and for me!’ Shamsher frantically added. 

If the voice could measure the heartbreak, this would be the highest level of it. With each mentioned word, Shamsher’s voice was breaking and he had to try hard not to crumble completely.  

‘That’s the only way…’ he added. 

The power of being a woman was that she had an intuition. Mahek was born with this intuitive power, a little more than the others. She just knew that Shamsher was not breaking down due to physical pain, it had to do with the realisation of his past events. He was changing for good but from time to time she noticed a strange sadness and regret in his eyes. And tonight was no different, rather tonight was a limit. His brother warned him and the sheer shock of his own father’s vindictiveness against them shook him. Shamsher was strong but not strong enough to recover quickly from it. He had to sleep it over which seemed tough to her. She really had started liking Shamsher. It has been a few months since they started living together and Shamsher, slowly, inch by inch was building a wall of love and trust around her and she was beginning to like it a lot. She may never have confessed but she was falling for him and she thought tonight Shamsher needed to listen to it. He needed strength and reassurance from her. 

‘Shamsher…’ She held both his hands firmly and calmly.

‘Look at me.’ She added. Shamsher was not looking at her, he was looking at their joined hands and shaking hands in disbelief. Bloody damn tears would prick into his eyes everytime he thought about being away from Mahek. 

When he did not look up, Mahek made him look up. She cleaned his face, wiped his tears and then cupped his face. When it comes to determination, Mahek and Shamsher were similar. Once Mahek decided on something she would stick to it. Once she was sure that he would not look away again, she again held his hands tightly.

‘Listen to me very carefully now.’ Mahek ordered and came closer. Her voice was firm yet soothing. 

‘I do agree that you created this mess.’ With that Shamsher opened his mouth to say something but Mahek stopped him. 

‘You will listen to me patiently, and when I am done, you can add your inputs!’ Mahek again ordered. 

‘Now…yes the mess is yours and probably everything would be normal if we haven’t met but that ship has sailed. We have met, you married me and we are together in this mess. And slowly, this mess is beginning to look like a beautiful mess to be in.’ She had to stop for a minute to read Shamsher but he was not giving any expression at all so she continued. 

‘I also agree that you were a monster to me, and I hated you and promised to hate you forever but at that time I didn’t know that you would change like this. You left everything for me and for once you did not mention it to me and had grudges against me and you still love me the same. Ever since we left your home, to my utter shock and surprise, I have begun to like you. I would not admit this ever but tonight you left me no choice. Like I said yesterday, you earned this. You are still earning my trust and love, gradually. You are still work in progress. And I am willing to give you a second chance, and take a leap of faith. I just have to. There are multiple options for me now but I want to choose you and take my chance. And it may backfire at any time, you may change into the old version of Shamsher I met and hate, but then I would not have regretted that I didn’t give us any chance. And that regret will be mine and I will own it. ’ 

She paused. 

Shamsher would never forget this night. Shocking confessions and revelations were too many for him to handle. 

‘Shamsher, I love you. There…I said it. And this may be the worst decision of my entire life but it's mine. I never took my own decisions before, everyone else took it for me, even you. But now, for all the wrong reasons and right, for better or for worse, I am not leaving you. I am in this with you and we will do this together, as one. We will find a way, not tonight, maybe not tomorrow but one day, we will find a way and we have to. I am willing to fight this with you, hand in hand. You can’t be weak now Shamsher. Not now when you have convinced me after all the struggles.’ 

When Mahek stopped, Shamsher had no idea how to respond. After everything he has suffered, for her, this was what she had to say. For all the losses, hurt, pain and struggle, he had one person by his side and it was the whole world for him. 

Suddenly, the weight on his shoulder seemed lifted and he felt light, floating in the love bubble. All worries, anger, tension gone in a minute. The only thing he felt was gratitude. He wanted to kiss her, thank her, pray to her and cry like a baby in her lap, all at once but it all came down to the grateful expression on his face with satisfaction in his tearful eyes and he just stared at her. His heart was racing and he was scared that he might die from this sudden happiness. 

‘How can this be the happiest and the saddest day of my life at once? How come I have arrived at a stage where I don’t know a thing about our future and still I am at peace? Do I truly deserve you?’ Shamsher broke the silence. All his mental turmoil out in the open. 

‘You do and well…it is what it is, Shamsher. You need to trust the process. I am here and going nowhere.’ Mahek said reassuringly. 

‘And yes I do reserve my rights to pass snide remarks in future at your cost, of course, for fun!’  she said teasingly, to lighten the situation. 

Instantly, a bright smile appeared on his face and then Mahek came closer to him and embraced him in her arms. For a minute, they did not say anything, they just held each other and savoured the most precious moment of their life. Mahek listened to steady and solid heartbeats of Shamsher and Shamsher slowly believing that the woman in his arms was his now, in real and in love. He kissed her temple and then looked at her.  

‘What are we going to do now?’  he asked sadly. 

‘We will figure something out, but not tonight! Now hold me.’ She reassured and he held her again.