Chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

DOUBTS

Karan walked on the empty, deserted street, lit up by the yellow street light that gave it a hauntingly serene look. He glanced around, as he walked. A gunshot rang out in the dead of the night, making his head snap up. He turned around, running up to the body that laid in the middle of the street.

Laxman's dead gaze stared back at him. He knelt down, tears stinging his eyes. He reached forward, intending to shut his eyes.

His dead gaze moved to him. Karan flinched in surprise, falling back on the road. The body vanished into thin air.

A noise made him look back, finding Laxman. He had a bullet hole in the middle of his forehead, and his cut hand dripped blood on the street.

"Humaare kaam mein ghusne ki zyaada koshish mat kar", Laxman's voice said robotically. "Aaj iska haath aaya hai tere paas. Kal tera kata hua sar hoga. Aur tere par koi rehem nahi hoga. You'll die bloody, Karan Shergill. Ulte din ginne shuru kar de. Your death is coming."

Karan shot up in bed, cold sweat sticking his clothes closer to him. He ran a hand through his hair, almost dripping wet. He threw the covers off, grabbing the bottle on the desk and gulping the water down.

His gaze fell on the diary. He pulled back the chair, turning the lamp on. He gazed at the blank page, rolling the pen between his fingers for a few seconds before beginning to write.

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

"Sanju, humne tujhe photo bheji hai. Dekh le."

She heaved a sigh. "Ise humaare army mein rehno se dikkat hogo?"

"Pata nahi. Humne puchha nahi hogo abhi tak. Tu dekh toh sahi", her mother insisted.

"Achha, theek hai. Hum dekh leto hain. Abhi hume jaana hai. Jai, Maa Bhavani."

"Jai Bhavani."

Sanju lowered the phone. She sighed a little, opening up the message. He wasn't half bad, really, but the more she read, the more her interest fell away, which wasn't much to begin with anyway. She heaved another sigh, throwing the phone on the bed.

"Kya baat hai?" Faizi's voice asked.

She looked up, finding him in the doorway. She straightened up. "Sir ji, hum aa hi raho the. Sorry keh raho hain."

"Tum woh sab chodho." He sat down in front of her. He nodded to the phone. "Kya hua hai?"

She looked away. "Woh hi sab, Sir ji. Aapko toh pata hi hogo. Shaadi ko lekar. Hume nahi dekhno ladke. Shaadi kar raho hain ya bazaar gayo hain kapde pasand karne ke laane?"

He tilted his head. "Itna frustration isliye, na, ki tumhe Siddharth pasand hai aur yeh nahi pata ki woh tumhe pasand karto hai."

Her eyes widened. "Sir ji... aapko..." Faizi smiled slightly. "Karan Sir ji ko bhi pata hogo?"

"Karan se koi baat chhupti hai kya?"

She looked down. "Woh gussa toh nahi hai, na?" His eyebrows furrowed. "Matlab... Siddharth cadet hogo. Cadet ke laane..."

"Cadet hai woh, baccha nahi", Faizi said. "Aur Karan kyun gussa hoga?"

"Karan Sir ji ko yeh nahi pasand ki professional zindagi mein neeji zindagi aaye."

He sighed. "Use sirf yeh nahi pasand ki log rishton ko desh ke upar rakhein. Aur tum yeh kabhi nahi karogi, iss baat par hume aur Karan dono ko poora bharosa hai."

She nodded. "Desh ke upar hum kisi cheez ko kabhi naa rakhenge, Sir ji."

"Hume pata hai." He stood up. He looked at the phone. "Jo karna hai Siddharth ke baare mein, abhi soch lo. Baad mein regret mat karna." She nodded again. "Ab chalein? Warna Karan aakar hum dono par bhadak jaayega. Aur phir akele chal dega."

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

Her hand reached forward, hesitantly hovering for a couple of seconds before resting on his. He looked down and then up at her. She tilted her head slightly, blinking slightly in assurance. His hand curled around hers gently, clutching it gently.

Monami turned in her bed, slamming her face in her book. "Buddhu", she muttered to herself. "Karan Sir ke saath itna friendly mat ban. Kya kar rahi hai tu, Monu? Mat kar. Itna friendly nahi hona hai."

"Oye, Moti Billi", Sid said, appearing in her room. "Padhai aise transfer nahi hoti hai."

"Bro!" She whined, hugging him tightly. "Bro..."

Sid wrapped his arms around her. "Kya hua?" He muttered. "Kisi ne kuchh kaha kya tujhe?"

"Nahi", she murmured. "Main hi stupid hoon."

He pulled away a little, looking down at her. "Kyun? Kya hua?"

"Maine Karan Sir ka haath pakda." His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Main kitni stupid hoon."

"Kyun?" He asked. He sat down in front of her. "Tu unhe dost banana chahti hai, na?" She nodded. "Tujhe woh pasand hain, toh theek hai, na? You trust him. Toh peechhe kyun ho rahi hai? Haath hi pakda hai. Koi line thodi naa cross kari hai. Woh gussa ya naraaz ya awkward toh nahi hue, na?"

"Nahi par..."

"Par kya? He's... He's perfect, right? Matlab, woh na zyaada bak bak karte hain. Woh tera dhyaan rakhte hain, tere comfort ka dhyaan rakhte hain, tujhe safe feel karwaate hain. Toh dosti mein kya problem hai?"

"Sab kuchh itna fast fast ho raha hai", Monami said, sticking her lip out in a pout.

"Fast? Moti Billi, agar tu car mein baithi hoti hai, toh paidal chalne waala baccha bhi tujhse aage nikal jaata", Sid retorted. "Itna slow slow chal rahi hai phir bhi fast bol rahi hai."

"Par agar unhone mujhe hurt kara toh?" She whispered, looking down. "Sab karte hain. Papa bhi. Toh auron se toh kya hi expect karoon?"

"Toh tu kha jaana unhe", Sid said. He leaned closer. "Tujhe pata hai, na, sherni ke gusse se sher bhi darta hai. Kaccha chaba jaana unhe."

"Correct", she muttered half-heartedly.

Sid clutched her face, gently making her look at him. "Karan Sir agar yeh kehte hain ki woh teri care karte hain, toh matlab woh karte hain. Aur agar woh teri care karte hain, toh kabhi bhi tujhe intentionally hurt nahi karenge. Dekh, Monu, tune kaha tha tujhe lagta hai Bala aur Koel bahut bolte hain, maine tujhe push nahi kara. Par jo cheez apne aap ho rahi hai, use accept kar, na? Door toh mat bhaag." He kissed her forehead. "Aunty hote, na, toh woh bhi yeh hi kehte."

She looked down, eyes welling up with tears. "Yeah." He pulled her into a hug, kissing her head gently.

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

Abhi took a deep breath, glancing at the bouquet of tulips. He went over the speech in his mind again, nodding to himself. He peeked into the almost empty mess. A smile spread on his face, seeing Monami. She looked angelic. He walked in, hiding the bouquet behind her back. "Monami", he said happily.

She smiled at him slightly. "S-Sir?" Her smile wavered when he got down on one knee, staring down at him. "Aa-Aap yeh k-kya-"

"I love you, Monami", he said, producing a bouquet from behind his back. Her jaw dropped open slightly. "Tum duniya ki sabse sundar ladki ho. I-"

Monami sneezed. And then again. And again. "I am a-allergic to t-tulips", she said, pushing it away. She sneezed again.

"What?" Abhi muttered sadly, standing up.

"S-Sorry", she said, sneezing. "But pl-please d-door."

"Kya ho raha hai yeh?" Faizi's voice asked. Monami looked past him, sneezing again violently when she caught another whiff to the tulips. "Monami, kya hua? Bimaar ho kya tum?"

"T-Tulips", she got out, leaning back. "I am a-allergic."

"Abhi", Faizi said, narrowing his eyes.

"N-Nahi, Sir. U-Unki g-galti... n-nahi hai. He d-didn't... know", Monami said between sneezes. "I am f-fine. I j-just n-need... some a-air to s-stop s-sneezing." She walked past them quickly, sneezing every two seconds.

Faizi turned to Abhi, a scowl on his face. "Abhi... tumhaare andar dimaag hai nahi ya tum use nahi karte ho? Agar iske baad tumne aisa kuchh bhi kara jisse use takleef hui, toh humse bura koi nahi hoga. Aur yeh baat tum bhi jaante ho ki hume gussa dilaana asaan kaam nahi hai, par jab aata hai, toh kisi ke liye achha nahi hota hai."

"But Sir, mujhe nahi pata tha-"

"Hume koi farak nahi padta hai." He took a step closer, poking a finger harshly in his chest. "Monami ko tumhaari wajah se koi takleef nahi honi chahiye. Pichhli baar Sanju, Karan aur humne tumhe sirf ek warning di thi. Hume majboor mat karo ki hum uss warning se badhkar kuchh karein."

"Sir", he muttered, nodding.

"Dismissed", he said, and Abhi nodded, walking out.

Karan glanced at the dejected Abhi as he walked past him. "Kya baat hai, Faizi?" Karan asked. "Aate hi bhadakna shuru? Aisa kya ho gaya?"

"Janaab, isne Monami ko phool dekar propose kara, par tulips diye. Use tulips se allergy hai", Faizi said in frustration. "Jise propose kar rahe ho itna toh pata karoge, na, ki use allergy wagera toh nahi hai."

His eyebrows raised. "Woh theek hai, na?"

"Haan, zyaada serious toh nahi lag rahi thi allergy. Chheenk rahi thi bas." He sighed a little, shaking his head. "Abhi kuchh sochta nahi hai. Thode din pehle keh raha tha- 'main phool se bhar dunga kamra'."

Karan scoffed a little. "Itna forward hoga toh woh aur door bhaagegi. Itna toh mujhe bhi pata hai. And that's saying something." Faizi scowled. He grabbed an apple, biting in it angrily. Karan raised an eyebrow, lightly hitting his shoulder. "Kya baat hai?"

He sighed. "Sanju aur tumne, dono ne kaha tha ki Abhi ko door hi rakho, par humne Abhi ko kaha tha ki woh Monami ko impress karne ka try kar sakta hai. Agar usne Monami ko tang kiya, uncomfortable kiya, toh woh-"

"Abhi ki galti hogi", Karan cut him off. "Teri nahi. Abhi kya karta hai woh uspar hai, tujhpar nahi. Aur tu chinta kyun karta hai? Hum hain, na? Zyaada aage jaayega, toh jungle mein bandh aayenge ise." Faizi nodded. "Ab yeh bata tujhe pata kya chala?"

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

"H-Hi", Monami said. She sat down next to him on the floor of the terrace, tilting her head.

Abhi looked at her before his head bowed down. "Sorry", he muttered. "Mujhe nahi pata tha tumhe tulips se allergy hai."

"K-Koi b-baat n-nahi. I am f-fine n-now. No h-harm d-done." She sat down next to him, crossing her legs.

"I really love you", he said. "Main toh sirf tumhe special feel karwaana chahta tha. I wanted to tell you ki main kitna pasand karta hoon tumhe, achhe se, dhang se. Aise jaise tumhe hamesha yaad rahe. Mujhe laga shayad tum mujhse impress bhi ho jaogi but... yeh toh sab ulta ho gaya."

"I... I d-don't l-like you. M-Matlab w-waise nahi. I d-don't even kn-know you. And m-main in s-sab cheezon ke l-liye r-ready n-nahi hoon. I j-just w-want to f-focus on t-training. M-Mujhe y-yeh sab n-nahi chahiye. I am s-sorry."

He nodded. "Okay. Kya hum dost ban sakte hain?"

"M-Maybe", she said hesitantly.

"Boyfriend nahi, toh dost ke liye effort maarne do. Please?"

She hesitated. "O-Okay, but m-mujhe yeh s-sab sh-showy cheezen n-nahi p-pasand."

"Kya pasand hai phir?" He tilted his head, holding up a finger. "Jab hum party mein mile the, tum bahut khush hokar khaa rahi thi. Do you like eating?" She smiled slightly, nodding. He smiled. "Chocolate?" She nodded. "Awesome. Kisi se allergy wagera toh nahi hai, na?" She shook her head. "Mujhe waise toh khaane ka bahut zyaada shauk nahi hai. Par... I really like chocolates. And mera ghar jahan hain, wahan par ek shop hai, and they make the best chocolate. I'll tell my sister. Usko bolta hoon, woh bhejegi. You'll love it."

She tilted her head. "Woh ch-chocolate b-banaate hain?"

He nodded. "Yup. Khud ki. Dark, milk ya white?"

"M-Milk", she said. "Aa-Aapki s-sister ko k-koi pr-problem toh n-nahi hogi?"

He clicked his tongue. "Nahi. Main use bolta rehta hoon. Problem hogi bhi toh bhi uski problem hai, meri nahi. Mujhe jo chahiye, mujhe chahiye." She blinked. "Dono sided hai. Agar use kuchh chahiye aur woh mujhse maang rahi hai, toh woh toh haq hua, na? Formality kaisi? Family mein formality thodi naa hoti hai." She nodded slightly. "Tumhaara koi sibling hai?" She shook her head. "Isliye hi tumhe pata nahi. Bhai behen toh hote hi ek doosre se ladne ke liye hain." Abhi hesitated. "Tum meri dost banogi, na, Monami?"

"Aa-Aap yeh ph-phool and yeh s-sab i-impress k-karne w-waala k-kaam ch-chod dena. M-Mujhe n-nahi a-achha lagta."

"Done", he said. He stared at her. He stood up, smiling at her. "I'll give you those chocolates jab woh aayenge. You'll love them." Monami smiled at him, nodding. "See you around?" She nodded again. "Bye."

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

Barkha opened the door, eyes widening in surprise. "Karan?" She asked, a smile spreading on her face. "Aaj toh Friday hai. Aaj kaise shakal dikha di tumne?"

"Hi, Bhabhi." He smiled a little, bending down and touching her feet.

"Khush raho", she said. "Andar aao. Bataaya bhi nahi. Warna main tumhaari pasand ki cheezen banaati."

He smiled at her, walking in after her. "Koi baat nahi, Bhabhi."

She paused, looking back at him. "Karan..." She inspected him. "Tum itne murjhaaye hue kyun lag rahe ho? Kuchh hua hai kya? Sab theek hai, na?"

"Haan, haan, Bhabhi, sab theek hai." He ran a hand through his hair. "Bhaiya hai, na?"

"Chachu?" Baby's voice asked. She peeked out from her room. Her eyes lit up. "CHACHU!"

Karan smiled, picking her up when she ran into his arms. "Aa jaa, mera baccha. Kaisa hai?" He kissed her cheek.

"Chachu, maine aapko bahut miss kiya." She crossed her arms. "Aap last Sunday kyun nahi aaye?" She scowled a little. "Achhi baat nahi hai."

Flashes hit him, and his smile wavered a little. The arm, the notes, Laxman's body, the chilling nightmares. "Sorry. Achaanak kaam aa gaya tha." He kept her down.

"Baby", Barkha said. "Jao, Papa ko bata do ki Chachu aaye hain. Go." She turned to him as soon as she ran off. "Kya baat hai, Karan? Tum itne... disturbed kyun lag rahe ho?"

He shook his head. "Nahi, nahi, Bhabhi. Main theek hoon. Bas Bhaiya se kuchh baat karni thi, isliye aaya tha. Ek coffee mil sakti hai, please?"

"Haan, main lekar aayi." She patted his cheek. "Dhyaan rakho apna. Kaam hi sab kuchh nahi hota."

"Kya baat karni hai?" Param's voice asked. Baby ran back to Karan, holding his hand and looking up at him. He smiled at her, ruffling her open hair affectionately.

"Andar chalkar baat karte hain", Karan said. "Baby, main abhi aaya, okay?" He followed Param in his room, locking it behind him.

Param looked at it, and then at him. "Kya baat hai, Karan?" He asked. "Sab theek hai?"

"Baitho aap", he said, sitting down on the bed. He glanced around the room. "Yahan koi bahar ka banda toh nahi aaya hai, na?"

He shook his head. "Nahi, not for months. Hum teenon ke alaawa, bas ek Gauri aati hai saaf karne par woh toh family jaisi hi hai."

Karan nodded. "Maine aapko Laxman ke baare mein bataaya tha, na? Hume woh mil gaya."

"Mil gaya? Woh theek hai, na?"

"Bhaiya... hum uski laash mili", Karan said. Param sighed. "Par uski laash se pehle, mujhe ek parcel mila tha. Us mein kisi ne uska haath kaatkar mujhe bheja tha." His eyes widened. "Saath mein, death threat."

"Kya?" He looked him over. "Tu... Tu theek hai, Chhote? Kuchh kara toh nahi, na, unhone? Aur yeh kab hua?"

"Saturday."

"Aur tu mujhe ab bata raha hai?" He nearly shouted. "Ek hafta ho gaya hai, Karan!"

"Bhaiya, main aapko phone par nahi bataana chahta tha. Aur kaam itna tha ki nikal hi nahi paa raha tha. Main theek hoon. I am fine. Par... I think... yeh log shayad... chance hai, ki woh aap ko ya Bhabhi ya Baby ko use karenge mere against. I don't want to take the risk. Maine protection ki baat kar li hai. Mana mat karna."

Param sighed. "Theek hai." He glanced at the door. "Barkha ko bataaya tune? Ya main bataaun?"

"Mat batao, na? Unhe chinta hogi."

"Karan, use pata hoga, toh achha hai. Woh bhi thoda alert rahegi." Karan hesitated. "Main bata dunga aur thoda downplay kar dunga, taaki use zyaada chinta naa ho. Theek hai?" He nodded. "Chal, aa jaa. Zyaada chinta mat kar. Sab theek hoga. Main sambhaal lunga yahan. Theek hai?" He nodded again. "Aa jaa."

He slid the lock off, patting his shoulder as the brothers moved out of the room. "Chachu", Baby said. "Chalo, na, mujhe aapko kuchh dikhaana hai."

Karan smiled at her. "Aa jao, chalo." Baby grabbed his hand, leading him into her room.

Param moved into the kitchen, hugging Barkha from behind. She smiled at him, looking up. She looked past him. "Karan theek hai kya? Thoda... disturbed lag raha tha. Baat karke dekho usse."

"Maine baat kar li hai. Thodi der mein batata hoon. Uska mood zyaada achha nahi hai. Toh-"

"Main uske liye Biryani banaa rahi hoon", she completed. "Use achha lagega aur mood bhi thoda theek hoga. Chopping mein help kar do." He nodded, releasing her and grabbing the board.

"Thank you", he said.

Barkha glared at him lightly. "Karan mera bhi kuchh lagta hai. Sirf tumhaara bhai nahi hai woh. Bhabhi hoon main uski." He smiled. "Waise bhi, woh mera favourite hai."

He chuckled. "Of course. Tum dono ladkiyon ka woh hi favourite hai. Mujhe bhool jaaya karo." He looked down at the board. "Use Biryani, mujhe tamaatar. Woh bhi kaatne ke liye, khaane ke liye nahi." She laughed a little.

---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---

"I am sorry", Faizi muttered. Koel looked up at him, tilting her head. "I know hum bahut zyaada time tumhaare saath nahi reh paa rahe hain."

Koel smiled a little, leaning up and kissing his cheek. "Koi baat nahi. I know you're busy." Faizi kept a hand across her shoulders, pulling her closer. She glanced at the door. "Karan Sir toh nahi aa jaayenge, na?"

Faizi clicked his tongue. "Woh apne ghar gaya hai."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Abhi?"

He nodded. "Use kuchh... baat karni hai. Tum... tum use chodho. Humpar dhyaan do, na? Itne din baad dhang se time spend karna ka chance mila hai." He kissed her cheek. She smiled at him. "Tum sach mein humse naraaz ya gussa nahi ho? Humne Sunday se tumse baat nahi kar paaye hain."

"Haan, bola tha", she said. "I get it. Karan Sir ke informer ka murder, woh death threats, Karan Sir bhi kaafi disturbed hain. Hai, na?"

He hummed, sighing. "Problem yeh hai ki woh kuchh bolta hi nahi hai. Kya feel kar raha hai, kya soch raha hai. Kuchh bhi nahi bolta. Apne andar hamesha rakhta hai." He shook his head. "Jab bhi Karan mission mein fail hota hai ya koi casualty hoti hai, toh usko bahut dukh hota hai."

Koel nodded. "Jab aapke haath mein kisi ki jaan hai, aur woh aap nahi bacha paaye, toh dukh toh hoga hi."

Faizi shook his head. "Koel, hum log sirf koshish hi kar sakte hain. As special agents, humaara har mission, har kaam, logon ki jaan bachaane ke liye hota hai. Par... kabhi kabhi apna best dete hain aur phir bhi nahi hota. Aur kabhi kabhi hum log bhi galtiyan karte hain. And we need to accept ki hum galtiyan karenge. Hum bhi insaan hain. Human error humpar bhi applicable hai."

She nodded again. She sighed. She looked up at him, smiling a little. "Mujhe tumhe Nikhil se milwaana hai." He looked down at her, smiling. "He'll love you."

His smile widened. "I hope so. Agar nahi karega, toh?"

"Toh kya? Break up."

His eyes widened. "Kya?" She grinned, nodding. "Tum mazaak kar rahi ho?" She shook her head. He blinked. "Impress karna padega use. Bahut zyaada zaroori hai." She laughed a little, kissing his cheek.