Chapter 23

Chapter 21

"tsk..." 

The unexpected hot weather along with the kind of humidity that usually brought a storm welcomed Raghav when he left the conditioned air of the plane and climbed down the ladder. A long and hectic day was finally done but at the expanse of another day already starting, his watch had confirmed so... 3:37 AM. It had been so many days since he took a day off, actually leave a day off he was not able to take a straight six hours of sleep for nearly two weeks now and it was not good for him...so was the case with Pallavi, how many days had it been since they last talked for some time. He forced his brain to the last time he had touched her when she was not sleeping.

"Kaam karna, busy rehna bahut aachha baat hai Raghav, par ab tera shadi ho gaya hai... Kaam aur shadi ,dono cheej ka balance ho raha hai na?" he recalled his mother's words from the earliest months of his marriage. At that time he had assured the strict and observant woman that his mother was that he was trying to work on it but this evening when she had made a call to him rather unexpectedly he felt she was disturbed about something. (it is good to be busy Raghav but now you are married, hope you are balancing work and marriage!)

"did something bother her, Pallavi might have some clue about it... was this the reason Pallavi had called her several times." this thought had kept the usual nap he took in such flights away from his eyes. "but Amma sounded worried about Pallavi...

"Perhaps Amma wanted them, especially Pallavi to visit her." the thought made him count the days they had last spent some time together; his mother, Pallavi, and him, and he opened the chat with Farhad to take a note of the meetings scheduled for the next morning. They were not the most important ones, He could shift a few of them in the evening or to some other day so If Pallavi was free a day off was possible for him today.

"Take rest for some hours Ajith, we'll start after lunch or maybe in the evening." he had spotted the deep cut just below his right ear of Ajith and that poor soul needed some hours of good sleep.

"As you say, Anna." 

This new guy, Ajith just out of college was proving to be an asset to him, if he kept working like that Raghav was sure another Farhad was in making.

"So today evening he would visit Amma's place with Pallavi." he made a note to himself and then stared at the dark clouds trying to play hide and seek with the moon. How he wanted to hold Pallavi in their bed and get lost in their own little world. With such thoughts, he closed his eyes for a while.

His tired muscles had just started to relax when the powerful engine roared in annoyance the moment Harish pushed the brakes urgently mouthing a few curses and the vehicle made a deadly 90-degree turn, pushing all three of them here and there before stopping in the middle of the road.

"Harish, Pagal hai kya..." Raghav shouted just when the stormy death spared them and settled alerting the patrolling officers in some distance to start whistling and awakening chaos in the still sleeping Charminar premises.

"Sorry...Sorry, Anna, they came in front of the car all of a sudden." jolted with the near-death experience and the angry volcano bubbling behind him in Raghav's insides Harish stammered.

"it was not Harish's fault Anna, the woman came in front of the vehicle as if she wanted something ... and are you okay, Anna?" Ajith had by now opened his door.

"Okay, you two... now shut up." the powerful turn had him hit his head on the window and that was annoyingly painful, Taking a moment to settle he called Harish to come out as well who was perhaps rubbing his hurt knees.

Rubbing his own hurting temple with the back of his palm where a bump was about to come up in a few minutes Raghav tried to see the cause of this near-death moment trying to collect herself a few meters away from them, the pelting raindrops had no effect on her as if the rain didn't appear for her at all.

The woman who had tried this dangerous game in front of his vehicle didn't seem hurt by the way she was walking away in the night and in the bright street lights it was not hard to make out she carried something on her hips ...  a baby.

"Oye, Ruko..." Raghav called to her but her pace turned urgently fast.

"Harish, rok isko aur khabardar jo khali hath aaya idhar..." Raghav ordered and warned him. (Harish, stop her, and don't you dare  came back empty-handed this time.)

"Why are we stopping here, Anna, in the middle of the night, could be some beggar or someone else ... perhaps, wanted to end her life" Ajith argued, knowing well Raghav would not listen to him.

"Marna itna aasan nahi Ajith aur Marna koi nahi chahta... lets see why she wanted to kill that baby along with her." 

"Anna, don't you know why people do such things...

"I know Ajith, that is why I want to know... now if you can run, go bring them here" rubbing the badly hit spot Raghav ordered him. he just prayed Pallavi was not going to spot a bump in the morning.

***** 

She could feel the chubby cheeks of the baby around her fingers when the woman who was not more than her own age kissed the baby's cheeks, and in response, the baby giggled perhaps asking for more kisses,  the baby's smile was reaching her own eyes. Whoever's baby it was, it has the charms to attract anyone's eyes, she too wanted to walk towards the chair where the girl who could not be more than two clad in a bright yellow floral frock was playing with her mother. Pallavi guessed with the side glimpses she was getting of the two.

"look at Aai's bangles, Paapori... here.." the mother of the child had a nickname for her and the girl knew it was hers cause she giggled again trying to grab the bangles and her mother hid that arm behind the child making her puzzled for a moment. (Look at mom's bangles, Paapori)

"Paapori... here." the bangle-clad arm was back in sight and so was that hearty giggle of the baby. Paapori, why the name struck a chord.

"how many times i have told you to not call her Paapori, my daughter has such a beautiful name but don't know why you have to call her that." A male voice entered the park and Pallavi's gaze shifted to him but just like the mother-daughter duo, the man's back was to her.

"she is my baby, I'll call her whatever I want, hai na Paapori." the woman revolted with a smile, and hearing the nickname the baby giggled again as if trying to tease the man who seemed to be her father.

"let us see which name she likes the most..." the man extended the bright pink fluff he had hidden behind his back and took a seat beside them on the chair.

"Pallavi... baba ke pas aa beta..."

The moment she heard her name, she tried to make sense of the faces she was seeing, as if a realization dawned upon her Pallavi tried to walk towards the couple and the baby but it was as if her feet were not working, the little family's talks started fading.

"Ruko, please don't go...wait for me," she called to them when they started floating away from her, and the scene started dissolving in the air.

Her heart was beating fast, she was terrified to lose them, and covered in sweat and tears she opened her eye,s pushed a hand to her chest, and sat up surrounded by a dark reality.

Everything was silent, Dark, Gone was a sunny evening, there was no couple, no baby's giggles... it was just a dream., a dream her mind had made up from one of her childhood stories she had heard often.

Her eyes burnt as if she had not slept enough and she swiped the phone screen, the moving analog dial was nearing 4:30 AM, another night without sleep, a sigh left her throat and she turned to his side, Raghav was sleeping just like every day.

He might have returned in the last two hours she had gotten a little sleep, AC was also throwing colder degrees towards them as it did when Raghav was the last one with the remotes but the intense dream was the reason for her sweaty skin.

Forcing her feet in her slippers Pallavi walked toward the washroom to empty her impossibly full bladder and then sip some cold water.

*****

"Dewa, jane kitni thand chahiye is Ghamndi Rao ko, aur inke kapde to dekho... kisi din theek se bukhar aaya na fir bat karungi is se." tying the front bands of her robe tightly around her as if to stop the coldness from her Pallavi took a seat beside him in the little space he had left and tried to search the remote he used to keep somewhere around his pillow. (don't know how much of a cold room he needs, and then look at the bare chest...someday if he gets a fever then i would talk to him).

 it was hard to search in the dim yellow light glowing over her pillow so she leaned over his bare chest, and her loose braid swung over him and probably disturbed his sleep. 

"Saree ka dukan, kya kar raha hai?" he wiggled congesting her little sitting space.

"kuchh nahi, so jao..." she whispered looking under the extra cushions between his pillow and the side table.

"Uhmm, tum bhi aao." he turned to face her sleepily and then casually put his arm around her waist and patted her to sleep beside her. She smiled at his sleepy actions, he too missed her.

Trying not to touch him she searched for the remote but it was not there, this man was generally organized but with AC remotes nearly every other night was a struggle.

"Saree ka dukan... ghodhe becho aur idhar aao." this time he pulled her robe. (Saree ka Dukan, leave everything and come here.)

He had already asked her to come beside him so Pallavi took a moment to see her choices, "if she covered them both with the comforter, her past experiences said she could manage the cold AC air. 

So pulling the comforter she lay down beside him and put his extended arm around her belly, covering the area where their baby was breathing. His faint bodywash engulfed her completely, transporting her to her safe haven, making her unconsciously hold onto his palm tightly and silently telling their BEAN it was his/her father, then automatically her eyes started drooping as if she had not slept for so many days.

Now she knew why she was unable to sleep for the last few days, she was missing him around her body, she had grown habitual of his presence in her bed, taking a deep breath she closed her eyes for the sleep to overpower her conscience.

"Pallavi..." he groaned sleepily and spooned her from behind. "tum kamjor ho gaya hai..." he mumbled just when her aching eyelids started to close into a dreamless sleep.

"She had always been on the leaner side, what would she look like with her swollen belly, would he mind a fat Pallavi." she blushed with the thoughts and trembled with the giggle that erupted.

"tumko neend nahi aa raha hai?" he asked her covering her slender thighs with one of his powerful ones.

"Are you awake," she asked him when found his lower body trying to awaken her whole body.

"No..." his lips touched the area under her exposed ear and his hand lying over her belly moved upside.

"Raghav...." she happily stopped the movements of his hand because she knew he was tired and he needed a few hours of rest, she settled his arm on her belly back and this time covered it with one of hers.

" did you just resist me?" and this time his voice was not sleepy, it was his tricky deep tone to scare people but not her.

"so you are already awake." she started to turn towards him to face him but he restricted her move and kept hugging her from behind.

"Your hair and I share something, hard to ignore." he teased her and then kissed the silky strands which were no longer confined in the braid. 

"I thought you would get back by 12...but then you told me not to wait for you." she turned to him seeing he was getting up and taking a seat beside her.

"Sorry, it had been hectic past few days..." he apologized grabbing the cushions to rest his head and when he found a comfortable position he pulled her slender frame to rest beside him, the sheet covering them got pushed down exposing their upper bodies.

"that is okay, I understand but I need to talk about something." she had no idea how to break this news to him, first of all, she didn't expect them to talk just before dawn, and now that she had a chance she thought to arrange some kind of a surprise setting to tell him, but then sometimes no plan was better than any plan.

"hmmm ?" his arm that had encircled her to him had found a few strands of her long hairs again and now he was rolling them around his index softly.

"is it going to be like that, forever?"

"What..."

"you and I busy in this never-ending journey of building empires and expanding businesses?"

"what do you mean...You and Keerti have just started" his finger stopped around the strands.

"i mean we are planning our family..." she took a breath and then continued. " a baby needs both his parents, who knows it better than the two of us?" baby steps were needed to talk about their baby.

"Saree ka Dukan, are you not telling me something..." he pulled his arm from around her and switched on the lamp on her side where he was sitting currently.

"Raghav... these lights are just so bright...please switch them off." she squinched her eyes suddenly sensitive to the lights and most importantly his query.

"From so many days I just wanted to talk about it." still covering her eyes she mumbled the words.

"No... after our baby comes we'll reorganize everything..." he sounded nonchalant as if it was a business deal he was talking about, " don't stress yourself out, and now look at me." his tone had changed to a concerned one.

"are you fasting for some stupid ritual, why do your eyes look different...don't tell me you have not eaten for the last two days ?" recalling the bizarre list of things she did in the name of GOD he enquired her. "one minute, are you even sleeping properly,?" by now her husband was sitting in front of her and she could sense his sharp gaze scrutinizing her appearance.

"Raghav, there is nothing like that, and aren't you tired ... come here lie down for a while." she tried to dodge his questions.

"sach sach bolo, kya baat hai? Amma was also saying something about taking you to the doctor when she called this evening, I could not understand her words at that time." now Amma's words made sense to him.

"Raghav... there is nothing wrong, now come here and lie down." she pulled his wrist to make him lie down beside her.

"Utho..." in a moment he was standing out of the bed.

"Raghav,I am sleepy... I am not leaving the bed." she groaned trying to bury herself under the sheets when his arms reached under her, the world went gravity less, sheets left behind and one arm around his shoulder she covered her eyes with another palm on his stubbornness.

"okay whatever it is, we'll talk about it I promise...But Raghav please put me down, I am already not feeling well these days and if you are in a mood to give me a swirl, there are chances I might throw up." she nearly pleaded with him.

"And you didn't see a doctor, what is this behavior?" he was still standing with her in his arms and this was not how she wanted to tell him about their baby.

"Ummm, I think it is normal, happens to every woman." she had removed the palm from her eyes but now the same palm had balled up in a fist when she uttered those words.

"What kind of thing?" this puzzled him enough that he put her down and made her sit in front of him on the bed. "one minute..." All the lights were turned on and then he came back to her.

"Pallavi, I don't like receiving surprises... is everything alright?"

"what do you think," pressing both her lips she looked up to him and the smile playing on her face that wanted him to guess the reason puzzled him even more.

"ab bolo bhi...

"Ek minute..." she left his side and knelt to pull a box from under the bed.

"ab tum bed ke neeche bhi almari bana liya hai..." 

"Very funny Ghamandi Rao...now close your eyes..."

"ek to tumko har bat me suspense create karna hota hai...

"Close your eyes..." she narrowed her eyes.

"uh, ab jaldi bolo..."

"here...

Raghav's eyes tried to recognize the strips kept on a paper in front of him, in barely a few seconds his face showed confusion, then surprise and finally, a smile made way... all the while Pallavi kept looking at his face resting comfortably on the headrest of the bed. it was another best moment of her life she was going to treasure forever.

He took one of the strips from the tissue paper it was kept and focused on the red lines, he knew what it meant but the words held his disbelief..."You are Pregnant..."

"I think so..."

For a few moments, He didn't say anything and kept seeing the strip. he should not be in a shock as they had already thought about having a baby and this was a planned baby, perhaps he was letting the information sink inside him,

Pallavi thought so and let him have his moment of Becoming a father, she wanted to know what he felt but as a father, he also needed some time to absorb the same things she had felt a few hours ago.

*****

They were married for a couple of years now, they had been ready for it for a few months but in the last few weeks they had not been talking about it, correction they were not even talking perhaps that is why it shocked him when he saw the confirmation. 

How would he hold the little one, would he be able to accept him OR HER, He looked towards Pallavi and found her waiting for him but he could not utter a word. Then he tried to imagine a little girl, would he be able to be a good father, was he even a good person, there were a few things he was not very proud about... he had already lost his father and brother due to his stupidity.

His eyes met hers again, and he tried hard to conceal it but she saw the hesitation in him.

Pallavi knew there were so many things he didn't discuss with her and that was a part of his personal space she didn't want to breach but she also knew it trapped a vulnerable side of him there that often piled him under a mountain of guilt, she knew he needed someone's support but at the same time, he has to realize what this news meant to him so she waited.

"his mother still kept his distance from him, would his child do the same when he or she grows up...and gets to know his past stories." he might have been the successful businessman Raghav Rao for the world but inside he often crumbled into a failed person who had failed his family...

The thoughts started troubling him, these were the same thoughts he had often flushed with when he was not working or when he got sleepless nights, Pallavi's arrival in his life had done so many beautiful changes to his life and she had also diminished the scope to wander to that specific realm but now when Another life was about to come, the thoughts started burning him.

"do you think I would be a good father... no lies please..." he spoke finally.

"So even the father was nervous just like she herself was,"  she had wondered how would he react to the news and had tried to imagine the possible ways he could react but this was not what she expected from him. A nervous Raghav appeared occasionally.

"You should have seen me (when I saw these) and by the way, there was no one to answer my questions...:" she smiled again shifting towards him. "even I felt the same..."

"We can't feel the same Pallavi..." he cut her mid-way. "your brother and your father didn't ..." he could not complete the words and walked away.

So this was the reason for his silence, his fears were not the same as her, his guilt was not letting him be happy about it... no matter how excited they were about it after seeing it knocking on their doors his vulnerabilities and insecurities that he kept hidden was confusing him.

He had stopped drinking at night but a strong urge was up, he wanted the alcohol to burn down all these vogue thoughts, he had almost poured one but then something stopped him so he kept swirling the empty glass for a while and then walked to the open area of their floor's extended balcony.

She gave him some time to clear his head but when he didn't return she came out of the room,  After the storm, the atmosphere had heated up again as if another heavy rain or storm was due in a few hours, Pallavi looked at the sky and then shifted closed to him.

"I am sorry Pallavi, I just don't know what I am trying to feel...

" do you think I would be a good mother?" she asked him and without waiting for a beat he replied.

"that was never a question...

"So why do you feel like that about yourself? we have created it together...

"Creating a child is not tough," the arrogance was back and Pallavi smiled at this. "but I don't know whether I would be able to...

"Did I ever ask you to promise me something?" she took his hands in her and leaned on the railings.

"No. because I don't want you to change for anyone, there is a side I might not be able to like but there are so many different sides I don't see in anyone else... we all are flawed Raghav, we make mistakes and that's how it is." she stopped for a while suddenly breathless.

"let our past be in past... please. We are going to try our best to raise our baby," she assured him and he noticed a sliver of silver behind her down the horizon, a new day was about to start.

"i am sorry for freaking you out... I still don't know what I am feeling perhaps I am nervous,...perhaps i am happy," he told her pulling her to him.

"God... I wanted to tell you about it from the moment I knew about it." she whispered feeling relaxed.

Leaning on the balcony rails he hugged her closing his arms around her and resting them on her flat tummy, trying to picture them as parents, trying to shield what was his, trying to feel the presence of their baby. She covered his palms with hers.

"By the way, you did make me do things you wanted and stopped me from things I wanted to do..." he squeezed her palms.

"really... when did I do so?" she broke the hug and looked up as if challenged.

"Now I don't go to pubs, you have made me travel alone during long trips, earlier there were such pretty girls who wanted my attention..." he made her turn towards the railings and whispered around her ears, their palms still intact.

"oh please, I don't remember I told you to strain yourself... and shame on you Raghav Rao." she hit on his palm.

"Your baby might be hearing you talk all these things, I had created such a clean image of yours a few hours ago." faking anger she tried to walk away.

"now you are scaring me again Saree ka dukan..."

"please Raghav, enough for today...ab aur nahi..I know you have something funny again" joining her palms she told him she was done.

"Arey it is serious if our baby can listen to us, should i not kiss you... cant I say how sexy you are looking right now...too bad now our dirty talks have to be stopped."

"Who knows, he or she might be hearing how shameless their father is?" getting his intentions she played along.

"so you mean you don't want me to do this..." Raghav had already untied her front knot and now his hands were trying to make movements she was craving for so long.

"don't you have to go office...

"First we will go to a gynecologist and after that to Amma's, I don't think we would be able to join the office so I think we can continue the celebration."

"Ahan, our little one already making us lazy..." she bit her tongue when she tip-toed to his lips.

"Lazy... are you serious? This creation was not easy, it took nearly seven months." he corrected her.

"ab tum yahin calculation kar lo, don't you want me to kiss you?" she snapped.

"Is this the start of the mood swings Saree ka Dukan." he teased her pressing her more to him and making her aware of the things he wanted to do with her.

Hey guys! Here is the next one, hope you like Raghav's nervousness ... I feel just like a new mother even a new father goes through his own apprehensions. all those beautiful shock moments (In our tv world) after they(men) get to know about the GOOD NEWS kept tempting me to make this one like those but I hope you liked this one.

thank you for all the love, next we'll meet in chapter 9.3. I just wanted a light chapter before complicated ones.

love all.

Morusya♥

p.s. - I am a big fan of men twirling their wives /partners in the air after they hear Main tumhare bachhe ki maa ban ne vali hun  ** winks**