Chapter 52

LadyMeringue

@LadyMeringue

A/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Here is the next update! :D :D

Happy Reading! :D :D

Ranveer sat in his room staring at the wall in front of him, unfocused. Focus was something he'd never strayed away from even as a child, so moments like these were where he brought his entire life into focus. And yet his thoughts were all over the place tonight as he replayed his conversation with Ishaani over and over again, his mind at unease.

Something was wrong and he knew it by instinct. A shower to take off the putrid feeling of blood from upon him had been sufficient time to ponder upon the latest complication. And by the time he was done slipping into a teal t-shirt and a pair of white tracks, Ranveer couldn't have been more ascertained about the fact that there was a lot more going on than met his eye.

Perhaps Ishaani did have a valid point, he thought as his mind dwindled back to the most important part of the conversation they'd just shared. The two of them did need time away to sort their emotions and to digest everything that had happened in the past three weeks, overwhelming as it was. And yet there was something about the way Ishaani's eyes dulled in that space of a second that tugged at his heart.

Sipping at his fourth glass of scotch absentmindedly, Ranveer shut his eyes and sighed. She'd asked for time and he was more than willing to give it to her as well, but there was something that felt out of equation. He appreciated the fact that she was accommodative of his hesitance and wanted to buy him more time, but there was an uncanny deja vu about the entire situation whose outcome he knew already.

He'd done the mistake of leaving her alone once at her most vulnerable. Doing it the second time, no matter how logical her explanation, felt folly.

Something had changed in these last few days. 

Inching towards the edge of the cliff had been gradual, every day bringing along something new until he finally put a foot in the air two days ago, not shying away to show Ishaani how much he really loved her even though he'd still not told her the same. It was a confession he hadn't made till date even though she'd proclaimed the same several times already. And even as he shut his eyes, the three words no longer remained obstructed in his throat amidst the horde of thoughts and scars from the past.

He was nearly ready to let go.

All he needed was a push.

Snapping his eyes open, he gasped as though suddenly slapped. How could he have been so stupid! Just like always, his trains of thoughts had gotten the better of him, connecting links one after another without any conscious thought until he landed upon one name - Chirag Mehta. Ranveer could now easily see what had struck him as an uncanny resemblance - the push. Years ago, Chirag had given her the push that had led to the making of a night that destroyed both of their lives, leaving them in a rut that nobody would wish upon their worst enemy.

And that was just one part of it.

Ranveer could sense the same kind of despondence bleeding from Ishaani on the night before he left for Sydney eight years ago. Everything was the same - their complicated equation, their unspoken feelings and her vulnerability. It was through that vulnerability that Chirag Mehta had sewed the net of manipulation, trapping her in it with such sickening brilliance that she had no chance of escape. 

But not this time.

Picking up his phone from beside him, Ranveer put a call through, waiting rather impatiently for the person on the opposite end to pick up. To his relief, the phone was answered on the seventh ring, the head jailer on line from the station where Chirag was supposed to be held. And the next ten minutes of the conversation was enough to seal his already confirmed suspicion. 

Chirag Mehta had yet again tried to manipulate Ishaani and it had barely been four hours for him to be out of jail.

The jailer had been rather generous with information - Chirag Mehta was out on a 24-hour bail that his lawyer had managed to get him and supposed to be taken under custody at seven on the thirtieth evening. There was a security detail outside his house to track all his movements and it was with a grim look that Ranveer asked the inspector for a protective detail as well. He didn't require to know the rest of a story that was as obvious as it could get, starting from his accident.

The inspector agreed to send a detail of two men in plain clothes the next morning (who'd stay in the shadows until Chirag Mehta wasn't taken into custody again). Ranveer had nodded his head with satisfaction before warning the inspector to not inform Ishaani about their conversation. He wouldn't get her involved in the same mess twice. He had let her get away with it the last time her way, but not this time. The two of them had borne years and years of pain and suffering; he would not back down now that they were just a step away from their rightful happiness.

Draining his glass empty, Ranveer let his eyes wander until they fell on the clock - it had just struck eleven. The silence of the room remained pensive as Ranveer took to stare at the wall once again, now indecisive. The danger was temporary, the unresolved issues between them not. The fact did not change that he did have to leave for Sydney by the 11PM flight the next night. Even though Ishaani had tried nothing more than to push him away, she had made some very reasonable arguments when it came to their situation.

In spite of his mind drawing a blank upon whether or not to leave for Sydney the next day, Ranveer managed to make one firm decision - he was not going to let Ishaani know that he knew about Chirag's bail. Every relationship was based on trust, and if Ishaani couldn't trust him with things like this when it was crucial, he wondered how far they'd be able to go. He knew why she kept the knowledge from him, but pushing him away for his own safety was no solution to the problem.

Maybe twenty-four hours' worth of time would help him make a better call on this, he pondered. But would she even come clean on this? If she could live with the pain of her nightmare alone for eight years before their three month estrangement because of the same, Ranveer knew that she wasn't going to give up on this any time sooner.

Perhaps some things didn't change after all.

Tempted to help himself to another glass of scotch, Ranveer resisted the urge when he realized that the alcohol wasn't helping him either. He was beginning to feel frustrated at the sudden turn of events that had messed everything up again, their thoughts and emotions all over the place.

Where was he even supposed to begin to bring their wildly spiralling world back to semblance? When would the existence of Chirag Mehta disappear from their lives completely and leave them in peace? What cruel game was life playing with them now? Was this their ultimate fate - meant to yearn but never to yield? Was life even giving them a second chance or were they just fooling themselves into believing that there was a second chance meant for them?

What did await them tomorrow, after all?

Controlling the urge to throw the glass from his hand, Ranveer rubbed his palm across his forehead, now exhausted. He knew that sleep wasn't going to come to him anytime soon with two vices in a single night and the third one captivating all his thoughts. He twiddled with the ring upon his finger and sighed, knowing that there was nothing more to be done for tonight. It was a night they should have celebrated rather than ruin, but it didn't matter anymore. Perhaps it was best that he fell asleep in silence rather than create another unwanted complication when life was benevolent with them already.

Deciding to go over the agendas for the meeting tomorrow even though he'd done so atleast a dozen times, Ranveer opened the bedside drawer to retrieve the files in question only to realize that they were with Ishaani. Conflicted upon whether or not to disturb her at this time of the hour, he decided in favour of it at the end when he realized that it would be a good way to check up on her.

Ranveer decided to make a quick detour towards the kitchen first, the house now doused in complete silence. Reaching his destination, he quickly searched for the item of his interest until he found it seated smugly in the freezer, looking as mouthwatering as always. Pulling out two scoops each for both of them, Ranveer redirected his steps towards Ishaani's room, hoping that she was awake even though her room was doused in darkness.

Standing in front of her door, Ranveer balanced the two bowls in his hand and raised his free hand to pulled it into a hesitant fist. His knuckles were inches away from knocking upon the door when he heard a childish bout of laughter resonate from within, indicating that she was awake for certain. Her laughter, however, piqued up his curiosity, especially in light of her mood just an hour ago.

Quietly pushing the door open, Ranveer peeked into the room to find-

"Ishaani, where have you kept the EGM file?" rolled the question from Ranveer's lips even before his eyes landed upon Ishaani, who to his astonishment was guffawing at her own reflection in the mirror and talking to herself. His mouth remained agape as he looked at the candle-lit room in awe, the scent of roses and vanilla bewitching him. He entered the room and set the ice-cream bowls aside before bringing his focus back to the laughing wonder by the mirror.

The moment Ishaani spotted Ranveer's reflection behind her, she jumped off from the chair and threw herself in his arms, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. Ranveer found his balance nearly buckle with her sudden pounce but he hugged her back nonetheless, wondering what was wrong with her when she giggled coyly. The moment they separated from the hug, Ishaani pinched his cheeks and continued to laugh the same way, unsteady upon her feet.

"Why are you so cute, Mr. Prefect Perfect?"

"Are you okay?" asked Ranveer, who found his cheeks grow warm at her compliment. She'd done away with his vest and now stood only in her satin black nightie, the V-neck highlighting the pendant that remained perched upon its permanent spot. The nightie hugged her figure rather enviously, falling upon her feet with grace.

"Ofcourse I'm okay!" exclaimed Ishaani as she slapped his shoulder playfully, nearly stumbling upon her own feet before Ranveer caught her in time. He could smell alcohol off her, the fact confirmed when Ranveer's eyes fell upon a medium-sized empty bottle on her bedside.

"Are you drunk?"

"Yes, so?" snapped Ishaani, crossing her arms upon her chest while Ranveer raised his hands in surrender. She continued in the same sing-song tone. "If you can get drunk, why can't I?"

"You don't drink out of reason, that's why. And you usually don't prefer alcohol," replied Ranveer, the drastic change in Ishaani's mood taking him off-guard. Ishaani gave him a sly look, circling her arms around his neck and grinning from ear to ear.

Ranveer wondered when he'd last seen her laugh like that.

"Ooo, smaaart..."

"What did you have?" asked Ranveer, leading her towards her side of the bed now that she was even more unstable upon her feet. Ishaani tugged at his hand and made him fall beside her.

"Vodka!" she replied rather unabashedly when Ranveer gave her a deadpan look, shaking his head at her in reprimanding.

"Ishaani, I told you not to drink. You can't tolerate alcohol-"

"And neither can you!" she cut across blatantly before jumping up from the bed in an agility that took Ranveer by surprise. She lost her balance once again though, falling beside Ranveer rather crudely.

"It's different!" defended Ranveer as Ishaani gave him a childish pout, pushing herself up from the bed again rather stubbornly.

"Huh, jealous! I take alcohol way better than you!"

"I can see that," mumbled Ranveer underneath his breath. He stood up alongside and followed Ishaani, who walked around the room like her legs had turned into jelly.

"Excuse me, Sunny doesn't get drunk!" exclaimed Ishaani, flexing her arms in his direction. She stuck her tongue out at him before walking straight into the bedpost and losing her balance, Ranveer breaking her fall at the last minute.

"But my Sunny does!" remarked Ranveer amidst laughing, and Ishaani pulled herself free from his grasp. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Sunny is strong! Sunny doesn't get-"

"Mind!" yelled Ranveer when Ishaani walked right into the bedpost again, rubbing her head rather sheepishly. Ranveer turned her around and quickly checked her head to see whether she'd bumped it too hard before Ishaani cupped his cheek gently.

"Not from your mind, tell me from your heart. I am your best friend, no?" asked Ishaani, her eyes suddenly as wide as saucers. She continued to stare at Ranveer with the same childish innocence that was nothing short of a treat to his sore eyes after all the pain and fear he'd seen flicker in them.

"Yes, baba," replied Ranveer, kissing her forehead lovingly. But the answer wasn't enough for Ishaani.

"Who's your better best friend - me or Greg?"

"What?"

"Answer, answer!" egged on Ishaani with a playful smirk. But Ranveer could see the slight insecurity in her eyes upon the question that had so carelessly fallen away from upon her lips. He kissed the button of her nose this time, his stubble tickling her and she giggled in spite of herself.

"Ofcourse, you are."

"The best of the best?" asked Ishaani stubbornly, Ranveer taken back to their childhood days when she'd ask questions like this to him whenever she'd see girls doting upon him in school. He didn't know that there would be a time when would she actually found this kind of competition in Gregory Finch.

"The best of the best of all," assured Ranveer in the same patient tone, suddenly feeling the broadest smile break upon his lips.

This is how he wanted to see her for the rest of her life - happy, uncaring, innocent. Who's only worry in life was whether or not she was his best friend, and not whether he would remain alive tomorrow. It was no rocket science that that they wer now being hunted down by an enemy who would stop at nothing to have his revenge upon them.

"But Greg knows you so well... No, you're lying!"

"No, I'm not," repeated Ranveer in a firm voice as her eyes sought his own, trying to see whether he really meant what he said. The strength of his gaze made her relax but the pout still remained.

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise, Princess Moon," replied Ranveer as he tucked away the disobedient strands of hair from her face, smiling at her gently. Perhaps this night wasn't ruined entirely. Ishaani gave him a lopsided grin before freeing her arms from his grip and plonking upon the bed again.

"Shoo! Why do you call me Princess Moon? And who keeps such a silly name like that?" protested Ishaani as Ranveer sat upon his knees so that they were face to face. Ranveer smiled rather shyly, the confession heartfelt as he met eyes with her in quick glances.

"Well, it's not silly. You were Mota Babuji's princess and my moon, so..."

"It makes me sound like a child," complained Ishaani halfheartedly as she continued to stare at him with the same never-ending pool of love in her eyes for him. It was as though she couldn't get enough of his sight no matter how long she stared for. Ishaani flicked her finger across the button of her nose, Ranveer doing the same unconsciously before he froze midway. He flushed under Ishaani's scrutiny as she burst into another round of careless laughter.

"Which you perfectly resemble right now," retorted Ranveer, giving her a mock annoyed look. Ishaani pulled her smile into a taut line, the look upon her face suddenly of Miss Parekh before Ranveer realized that she was imitating her counter-self rather mercilessly.

"Miss Parekh is not a child, she's-"

"A wild cat," completed Ranveer, biting his cheek from laughing while Ishaani gasped, his comment taking her aback. His laughter died away when she continued to stare at him with the same affronted look, now looking apologetic. But even before he could say anything in apology, Ishaani jumped upon the floor in a feline-like stance that made Ranveer lose his balance upon his knees, falling upon the floor rather messily.

"Meow...!"

"Ishaani, what are you up to?"

"I'm a cat! Cat! See, meow... meow..." mewed Ishaani as she continued to crawl towards him, Ranveer backing away steadily, gulping in fright.

"Ishaani! What- what are you-" stuttered Ranveer when his back hit the armoire behind, Ishaani bringing herself to a halt right in front of him.

"You called me a wild cat, no?" she whispered as she inched closer, a notorious smirk upon her face. She pulled his chin upwards, their eyes meeting in a sudden spark of passion that Ranveer found himself drowning into.

"Err, no..." he whispered back in response, her nose now brushing against his own. Ishaani smiled at him evilly before pulling her hands into a pair of claws upon his face.

"See my claws!" she exclaimed as she lunged for his face, Ranveer escaping her attack even though her nails made contact with the side of his neck. Ranveer stared at her in stunned belief for a moment, the spell of their moment broken rather rudely. It took him a couple of seconds to find his voice back.

"And ouch, they hurt!" he complained reproachfully, still pinned against the armoire. Ishaani tilted her head to her side as though wondering whether or not to say what she wanted to while Ranveer tried to read her mind. A drunk Ishaani was definitely someone he couldn't read, he noted with utter astonishment.

She bridged the gap between them again, this time her eyes purposeful.

"Kiss me," she spoke at length and Ranveer felt his jaw drop at the boldness with which she'd put worth her wish, looking like a woman on a mission. He pressed his finger against her lips and gave her a decisive look.

"No. You are drunk and you need to sleep."

"Then sleep with me," insisted Ishaani as she now sat herself upon the floor, cross-legged. Her arms remained crossed upon her chest as though waiting for Ranveer to either pick her up or to tell her something even though for some reason, Ranveer felt dumbfounded. When he continued to stare at her the same way, Ishaani snapped her fingers at him rather impatiently.

"What? Don't you want to cuddle your Sunny and sleep?"

"Ofcourse I do, but-" began Ranveer, now flabbergasted but Ishaani held her hand up.

"Then cuddle me and sleep with me," she insisted once again, her lips slightly parted now. Ranveer wondered whether she would begin banging them on the floor in protest with what he was about to say. Giving her an exasperated look, Ranveer shook his head in a decisive 'no'.

"Ishaani, what happened that night was different. I'm not going to sleep beside you like that when you're not in your senses. You mean the world to me, but I can't when you are drunk enough to not know what's happening with you."

"Then toss with me," suggested Ishaani as she struggled to get upon her feet now, finally succeeding in the fourth attempt. Ranveer got up alongside, looking puzzled.

"Toss? Why?"

"To see who sleeps on the bed. Winner gets the bed, loser the floor," replied Ishaani as though it was the most obvious answer in the world. She made her way towards the bedside table and retrieved a coin from it, walking back to Ranveer in Donald Duck steps. He remained torn halfway between laughing and wondering what she would come up with now.

"Why does either of us need to sleep on the floor when the whole house is filled with rooms?" he asked, not bothering to keep the sarcasm out from his tone. Ishaani put her hands upon her hips, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Because I'm not going to let you out from my sight tonight, idiot. So it's either the bed or the floor. Your call." Ranveer rolled his eyes at her in exasperation.

"Fine, toss. Heads, yours. Tails, mine. Like always."

"Heads. Ha!" exclaimed Ishaani with glee once Ranveer tossed the coin, doing a small celebratory dance to herself before she caught Ranveer staring at her.

He shook his head in mock self-pity, asking the Lord above what he'd done to earn the floor after years even though he didn't have a problem sleeping on it. Ishaani crawled upon the bed while Ranveer pulled out two pairs of blankets and a few pillows from the spare cupboard beside her armoire. He put them on the floor and made himself comfortable, looking at Ishaani expectantly about what was to be done next. When she only laughed at him childishly with her face hidden underneath the blanket, he gave her a loving smile before a flash of light caught his attention.

"I've brought you something," said Ranveer when his eyes fell upon the bowls of ice-cream that sat in wait for them, handing over a bowl to Ishaani. She didn't bother keeping her excitement at bay.

"Butterscotch ice-cream!"

"I got you some to cheer you up since I didn't mean to rattle you like that downstairs. But I see that you did find yourself quite a refreshment," confessed Ranveer, turning to look at the empty bottle rather slyly. Ishaani followed his gaze and chuckled before both of them devoured the ice-cream, the cool cream extremely soothing in the sweltering heat of the Mumbai summer.

It was only when both of them were done with their ice cream that Ishaani spoke again.

"I'm sorry."

"For?" asked Ranveer, suddenly noticing the dip in her expression.

"Leaving you like that downstairs. I shouldn't have been so mean to you," she replied, her tone still slurred. Ranveer noticed the seriousness begin to creep into her childish oblivion although the thing really bothering her had not broken surface yet.

"I was worried about you, that's all. I understand now," added Ranveer and noticed Ishaani's features relax considerably. It was the truth that he now understood the entire scenario clearly, thankful that he came to know about it before it was too late or misunderstood her intentions, noble as they were.

Shutting his eyes as he felt his head throb in pain, he rubbed his temples absentmindedly, almost forgetting about Ishaani's presence until her voice cut through.

"Why are you rubbing your temples?"

"Nothing, just a light headache," muttered Ranveer, keeping his mouth shut about the fact that his head was aching because of the impact of the accident. Ishaani gave him a worried look as she teetered at the edge of the bed, now caressing the back of his head softly.

"Let me give you a massage. Sit up straight and lean against the side of the bed. Now put your head back on the mattress and relax," she instructed while sleeping on her stomach in a horizontal line.

"Ishaani, what are you-" began Ranveer but fell silent under Ishaani's gaze, doing what she asked of him instead. Resting his head on the side of the plush mattress that cushioned his neck, Ranveer shut his eyes when Ishaani's fingers found purchase on either side of his forehead, her fingers rolling upon his temples in waves. Ranveer grunted in appreciation and found himself on the brink of falling asleep as Ishaani's fingers magically continued to work it's way through his headache, the pain subsiding considerably.

At some point of time, Ranveer thought he was dreaming when he felt a pair of comfortable hands brush upon his face, its warmth making his heart feel at home. He was snapped out of his stupor when he felt a pair of soft lips claim his own in an upside down capture, his eyes meeting hers for a fraction of a second before they shut again. He didn't bother pulling away for the tenderness of the kiss was more than welcome, Ishaani's lips meeting and parting against his own in long, sultry intervals. She continued to taste his lips with the same inexplicable delight that no longer required their lungs to be filled with air anymore.

Who needed air when love was more than enough to live upon?

Ishaani's hair fell upon his face like a shield while her fingers continued to trace his jawline, her thumb trailing down his Adam's apple in a touch that made him smile against her lips rather invitingly. There was a intense love in the way she kissed him tonight, something that only made Ranveer want to leave the world behind and have the moon beside him like this until his last breath.

All his life, he'd hoped like a delusional fool for the day she'd supposedly love him back though the thought seemed imprudent even in his dreams. And yet today he lay in her embrace, feeling the love of a lifetime flow in between them as he let his hand cup her face, giving her an assurance of his own.

She was his to protect and he would leave no stone unturned to make sure that no evil eye ever fell upon her again, especially that of her past. She may try to be his shield but the fact didn't change that at the end of the day, he was always going to be her invisible benefactor because that was what he was always meant to be. Even though he was no longer bound by the restraints of loyalty, his last promise to his mentor still remained alive in essence - it was always going to be loyalty before love.

Until the end.

Hitting decrescendo with the kiss that melted away into gentle pecks, Ranveer and Ishaani opened their eyes simultaneously with a goofy smile remained plastered upon their faces, Ishaani suddenly looking even more radiant. Her skin glowed in the dim candle-lit room, the black satin elevating the milkiness of her skin even more.

"What was that for?" whispered Ranveer as he turned around to see her properly, his smile only getting broader and broader. Ishaani continued to remain sleeping with her chin perched upon her palms, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly upon his question.

"For being unbelievably cute."

"Appreciated. Now-" began Ranveer, eyeing the clock with a little apprehension when he saw it strike eleven thirty. But even before he could complete his suggestion, Ishaani suddenly sat up straight as though zapped.

"Dance with me!"

"Who? Me?" gawked Ranveer in response, blinking his eyes at her stupidly. They had an early day tomorrow and the fact that Ishaani didn't have a care in the world in her drunken stupor was beginning to worry him now.

"Do you see anybody else over here? If you see, let me know also!" cackled Ishaani as she got up and tugged at Ranveer's arms in an attempt to pull him up as well.

"Ishaani! Go to sleep, we have an early day tomorrow!" protested Ranveer, trying to make her sit upon the bed. To his dismay, she managed to pull him up on his feet only too easily.

"Don't be so boring, Mr. Prefect Perfect! Atleast let us enjoy this last night together... Who knows whether we are going to have this tomorrow?" she whispered sincerely, her eyes suddenly brimming with unexpected tears. Ranveer smiled softly.

"Alright, don't get so sentimental now. What do you want to dance upon?"

"Anything!" exclaimed Ishaani as her face lifted, the smile back upon her face in moments that only made Ranveer smile in return. He had missed this childish innocence and friendly banters between them. So if tonight was about walking through the fond memories of an untarnished past, he was willing to do that with all his heart.

"But no Kishore, Rafi, Mukesh," added Ishaani as an afterthought, Ranveer pursing his lips up as though hurt by her statement. Ishaani chuckled unabashedly at his reaction and pinched his cheek once again.

"Then we'll need to find something on the radio," suggested Ranveer.

He quickly walked over to the radio set and turned it on, Bollywood classics playing upon it with the grace of the past. Ranveer held out his hand to Ishaani, who accepted it by shooting Ranveer a quick smile. She let him take her into his arms as they swayed upon the spot with ease, the blankets beneath cushioning their feet.

"Not bad, Ishaani. You've learnt to dance pretty well in all these years. I used to be so afraid that you would stub my feet," joked Ranveer in the middle of the song when he noticed Ishaani get drowsy, her head falling upon his chest tiredly.

"Practice makes one perfect," she mumbled in response and Ranveer sighed, letting his head rest upon her own. His mind wandered back to their days in the glory of a past they only truly valued in a present where they had everything and yet, nothing.

"Remember how we practiced for days on end for that competition we had to perform together in?"

"In which we came third? Ofcourse I do! I sucked there! You would have easily come first had it not been for me," replied Ishaani as she looked up at him, her voice not too slurry now.

Ranveer was surprised to see the sharpness in her eyes return, her gaze now scrutinizing him with flickers of pain, guilt and fear. Ranveer felt his heart sink, realizing that the intoxication was fading away, bringing her back to a reality they could no longer escape from.

Neither its emotions nor its complications.

"There's nothing like that. We performed together well, and we came third. That's what matters," replied Ranveer in a firm tone, hoping that Ishaani would simply fall asleep. To his dismay, she looked fully awake even though they were no longer aware about the song playing in the background.

They faintly catching the phrase Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai in the distance.

"Remember that other dance competition that you wanted to enroll into?" asked Ishaani suddenly as her eyes continued to reflect the same rue in them while Ranveer felt a lump rise in his throat at the thought of the competition. Life had its cruel ways for certain...

"Ofcourse I do. I really did want to enroll into it but-"

"-but you couldn't. Because of me," added Ishaani, trying to pull herself away from his embrace even though Ranveer held her back. He was no longer smiling. The air of childish innocence had left them again, leaving behind in its wake the same mounting tension from earlier in the evening, danger now standing between them with its unwelcome essence.

"Not because of you. Because I had an accident at the factory. Its about time you stopped blaming yourself for this," spoke Ranveer in a strong tone, the exasperation in it not gone amiss by Ishaani, who chose to let her head rest upon his chest now. She no longer had to strength to meet eyes with him, Ranveer realized. Her defenses were beginning to collapse.

"You wanted the prize money so badly so that you could ease the financial crunch from upon Kaka's shoulders," stated Ishaani after dancing a little more for some time, both of them trying to drown away their worries with the other's essence. Ranveer smiled into the crown of her head.

"What happened, happened for the best. I would have won 50,000, perhaps. But if I would have, I would have never realized my passion and my ambition in life and I would have never had sufficient motivation to work towards my dreams and strive for my freedom. And then maybe, the net worth of my empire would not have been what it is today," reasoned Ranveer, a shrewd look in his eyes at life's irony. Ishaani looked at him with a smirk upon her face.

"Nearly 50 billion Australian dollars, if I'm not wrong," she added, the tension of the moment dispelling as they both burst into peals of laughter, the ice-breaker more than welcome. Relinquishing their hold upon each other in the embrace, they both sighed deeply, wishing that the night never drew to an end.

"That incident changed my life entirely, Ishaani. It was the turning point of my life in more than one way and it is something I have no regrets about. On the contrary, I thank God for giving me the strength to pull through that incident and to realize the value of life and the people who truly loved me. Maybe its why I didn't entirely given up on life in all these years, no matter how sorry that existence has been. Fighting for survival is embedded into my being now, I guess."

Ishaani nodded her head against his chest, holding on to him a little harder now. Ranveer could hear her voice shake with the effort of keeping it steady when she spoke next, the longing in it making the breath hitch in his chest in fright.

"Don't you wish to sometimes just... sleep, you know? Shut your eyes and never open them again? No pain, no fight, no loneliness, no guilt. Nothing. Just calm and peace. Just yourself."

"I have a lot of promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep," quoted Ranveer, and Ishaani smiled in spite of herself as she looked up. When she remained silent, Ranveer decided to take a chance on instinct.

"Is that what you tried to achieve with the scalpel?" he asked, letting her bury her face in the fabric of his t-shirt again. This was a question neither of them willed to know the answer to by looking each other in the eye, afraid of what they might find along.

"The scalpel was my companion. It made me strong. It's what kept me alive," whispered Ishaani, the defiance in her voice still intact. Ranveer sighed.

"No, the scalpel made you think of your weakness as your strength, camouflaging your vulnerability underneath pain and letting the guilt flow away in blood. Ishaani, hurting yourself is not the redemption for escaping your guilt or for correcting your mistakes or even for battling your demons. Even though you did it for just a year back then and now in these two weeks, but running away from your problems is not the solution. It never will be."

"Isn't that what you tried to do though with the insomnia?" asked Ishaani, daring to look at him this time. Ranveer didn't shy away for letting her delve into the darkness hidden in his soul even though an invisible barrier stood in between to keep the darkness away from consuming her.

"It's better to live in the present than to shut your eyes and live in the same memory of the past every night," he whispered in response. Ishaani did not need any more specifics to understand that Ranveer was talking about the turning point of their life - their inglorious farewell on the terrace.

"And what about you taking to alcohol that night?" asked Ishaani, her lips now parted in challenge. It was not unknown to her anymore that he'd tried to put all his pains and miseries to a final end with alcohol that night even though it hadn't worked.

"I wanted to kill a vice with a vice, I guess. Or maybe I just wanted to punish myself for what my vice costed me," replied Ranveer darkly, his eyes glazing at the thought of those moments that felt unbearable to contain as memories anymore. Forcing his mind back on track, his eyes were now belligerent to know the answer to a question Ishaani had never opened up about.

"Why did you take to the scalpel that night?"

Ishaani remained silent for some time before dropping away her facade.

"Because somewhere deep down, I knew what I'd done to you. I wanted to do away with the guilt. Perhaps I wanted to kill a vice with a vice too," she confessed, her voice suddenly cold with a hatred that made Ranveer's blood freeze. He wondered how deep her guilt and self-reproach went that made her hate herself so much even after everything was sorted out now. Almost everything.

"When pain crosses its level of tolerance, it only leaves behind an emptiness, Ishaani. That's enough to kill anyone eventually," he spoke in a word of advise, remembering his own days of loneliness and pain when he'd pushed away all his loved ones. 

Death had been a strange shadow in all those years.

"You should have hated me, Ranveer. And yet you didn't. Even through the anger and cold indifference there was always love," whispered Ishaani, her eyes growing red while she clenched at his shirt harder. Ranveer could see her emotions beginning to implode, knowing what was coming next.

"Love once told me that hate was crossing the line across the threshold of love. Maybe I was too rooted upon the spot to ever move on. I never expected you to love me, Ishaani. You were always the moon for me I was only meant to love, never to yield. I never wanted to attain you because you were never meant to be my own. I was supposed to be the one writing the perfect fairy tale for you, with your happily ever after being with someone else. It was a bitter truth, and yet I'd accepted it."

"And it that why you sought to become a self-made prince?" questioned Ishaani, a tear finally betraying its way down her cheek. Ranveer cupped her cheek and wiped it away.

"Perhaps. My love was never about losing you, Ishaani. My one-sided love was always that powerful and enough for both of us because it was only my own. My love was never my weakness because I never feared losing that love, no matter where life took me then. Whether I won or I lost in the end, this love was my own. My one-sided, unrequited love."

"And yet it left you neither for the dead or nor the living in the end," remarked Ishaani bitterly, their feet never once losing rhythm as their mind unconsciously kept in tow with the beats of the songs playing on the radio. Neither of them were really aware about what was song was playing. The conversation had obliterated everything else, starting from the temporary bliss of the bubble of oblivion.

"It left me alive enough for you to find your way back to me again," replied Ranveer, the doting smile upon his face breaking through the cold, patronizing guilt of her heart. Ishaani let Ranveer twirl her around twice before they decided to give a small break to the exhausting conversation, getting their focus back upon the song playing. Ae Mere Humsafar.

"What if Chirag had never entered our life in the first place, Ranveer? What if that incident had never happened in school in the first place?" asked Ishaani as the song continued to play, the irony of it making their hearts bleed now. Ranveer was admittedly taken off guard with the question even though this was something he'd pondered upon for too long without an answer.

"Then perhaps we would have not had a story to tell," replied Ranveer as he shrugged his shoulders, wondering for how long they would continue to keep their past in between them as a shield because they were too afraid to take a leap towards the future.

"I wish I'd have never collided into him at the airport. If I'd only have realized my love in time... our life would have been a different story entirely," mused Ishaani despondently, Ranveer instantly sensing the frustration in her voice. He knew that she was aching to tell him about whatever it was that Chirag had threatened her with, and yet her will to keep him away from all of it forced her mouth shut.

So he chose to take a different route for the time being instead.

"God hands us down all the tools to rewrite our destiny even though we're meant to end up at the finish line written for us in the first place."

Ishaani chuckled in spite of herself, suddenly recollecting all the things her father would tell her and Ranveer as a child. His thoughts had definitely given them hope to continue battling life, but she wondered whether half of those battles were even necessary even though one certainly was - the battle of her revenge.

"Atleast I got to see Chirag pay for his sins. He has nothing today - no money, no empire, no freedom, no friends, not even his family. They'd died in a plane crash a few months after our divorce. His parents as well as his sister. And he has no love either, incapable that he is of the concept. I really wonder what Shanella sees in him to believe that he loves her even."

"Loyalty, perhaps," joked Ranveer and the two of them laughed rather immoderately as the mood lightened once again.

Outside, the clouds kept falling upon the moon time and again while the skies grew darker until shafts of light from the moon broke through as a relief. The Universe did work in strange ways, more often than not without the knowledge of the people it pertained its symbolisms to.

Sobering down after some time, Ishaani curl her arms around Ranveer's neck and let Ranveer's nose nestle upon the bridge of her own, enjoying the songs that kept coming in a mix of old and new - some romantic; some playful.

"Ishaani, can I ask you something?" asked Ranveer during one of the songs, Ishaani moaning softly in response. She opened her eyes, the playful aura of the song making her smirk a little while she nudged her nose against his.

"Why one? Ask me two things! And because you look overwhelmingly cute today, I'll give you a concession. Ask me whatever you want and I'll tell you," she whispered confidently, the mischievous smirk upon her face making Ranveer wonder whether or not she'd completely lost her intoxication yet.

If there ever was a time to get the answers he truly wanted, it was now, he knew. Neither of them broke eye contact as the quick rapid fire began, both of them bringing their feet to a halt with question and answer tumbled within the space of a breath. Ranveer's breathing fell slow as his voice took on a silent whisper while Ishaani's breathing grew uneven in anticipation as her voice fell hoarse. The hypnosis of the moment began, the spell captivating both as Ranveer bridged away the gap in between them, giving Ishaani the security of his embrace while the loving warmth of it reflected in her eyes.

"Do you trust me?"

"With my eyes closed."

"If I tell you to jump, you'll jump?"

"Without a question."

"If I ask you to drown, you'll drown?"

"Without a complaint."

"If I ask you to walk into a fire, you'll burn yourself for me?"

"Without any hesitation."

"If I ask you to stand as a shield in front of myself and death, you'll do it for me?"

"Without even blinking my eye."

"If I ask you to trust me and let go of your past, will you let go of it?"

The answer remained choked in Ishaani's throat as her lips parted, even though no sound escaped it this time. Her eyes grew large in fear as it brimmed with tears suddenly, Ishaani now shaking her head vehemently. She broke eye contact with Ranveer at long last.

"No... I can't..." she whispered, Ranveer's gaze still not leaving her face. The chocolate of his eyes had hooked itself into her soul, he knew. It had swirled its way into the depths of her heart without even her knowledge, crossing the wall of boundaries between them not unlike a mist. Her heart now lay open in front of him like an open book, her soul its tattered jacket.

"Why?"

"Because it won't leave me," replied Ishaani, the guilt frothing in her heart to the point of suffocation while she took in larger gulps of air. Ranveer rubbed circles upon her cheek as he forced Ishaani to meet eyes with him again, her gaze buckling almost instantly.

"Your nightmare. Why do you keep seeing it?" asked Ranveer, the gasp leaving Ishaani's lips in response not unlike that of a dying person. How it was that he'd read the exact thought fleeting in her mind, he himself did not know. But the answer tumbled away from upon her lips even before she was aware about it.

"I don't know, but every time I do... It's so real... So real, all that blood... The life leaving your eyes... I cannot lose you... That's my life's deepest fear... I cannot lose you..." she whispered in a demented flash of paranoia as she cupped his face, the tears leaving her eyes a little more freely. Ranveer made her sit upon the bed as her knees buckled, quickly sitting beside her and pulling her hand underneath the fabric of his t-shirt. The feel of his skin against her own snapped Ishaani back into her senses.

"I'm with you, Ishaani. In flesh and blood. In warmth and essence. See?"

Ishaani let her head fall upon his shoulder as her eyes now darted across the room, only to land upon the empty space where Ranveer's gifted painting once lay. Getting her breathing back to normal, Ishaani freed herself out from his grasp, her voice now low.

"That night, you told me that I don't know what it feels like to see the life leave someone's eyes literally where a moment ago they were a living person and the next moment, just a shell. You were wrong, Ranveer. You were wrong. I've seen you die too many times to know what it means like to watch the life leave somebody's eyes. We fear the same thing at the end of the day, Ranveer. We fear death not for ourselves, but just for the sheer fact that death comes along with a loss whose void can never be replaced. We know the pain of that void when we lost each other once even though we were both breathing. Not alive, but breathing because that's what loss does. It saps the will of living. And the fact that I have to watch you not just leave me but- but die like that... No..."

Ranveer remained silent as he felt guilt surge through his veins at the insensitivity of his statement upon the night in question. How really damaged were they, he wondered as the air continued to remain afloat with the songs that had gone a generation behind, the air suddenly calm. A calm that took Ranveer back to the escape of his dreams years ago where a woman remained just as defiant to take away all of his pain. The resemblance made complete sense now.

"You always wanted to know what my dreams about Love meant now, didn't you? You wanted to know who she really was," added Ranveer when Ishaani's head snapped up in his direction, surprised by the deviation of the topic even though it was a welcome one. It was an answer she'd always been inquisiitve about.

"Who was she?"

"She was you, Ishaani. All along, she was you. The projection of my love for you. She had your essence and attributes, all of them. And yet she was the semblance of my love and my voice of reason that had tapped into your own innermost feelings that we both remained oblivious to, but was out in the open for everyone else to see. You've been the one who's saved my life every single time in all these years."

Ishaani clasped her mouth in surprise, suddenly looking flustered at the most unexpected revelation.

"Does she still visit you?" questioned Ishaani nosily as she looked at Ranveer with newfound interest. He chuckled.

"The last she visited me was before I left to Sydney. It was when I finally got to see who she really was. We met at the horizon. She told me that she wouldn't return back because I knew the path ahead now. And she was right, because I do."

Ishaani nodded her head in understanding just as Ranveer stared at the clock - 12AM. The thirtieth of October had fallen upon them now. And along with it drew the question upon which their fate dangled. But there was a lot more beyond the question of giving their relationship a second chance - it was trust on which any relationship was built, not secrets. And so Ranveer chose to give the unspoken secret between them another chase.

"Ishaani, you know the quality that I loved about you the most as a child? Why I wanted to become friends with you?"

"My honesty," replied Ishaani, the bewilderment evident upon her face as Ranveer continued.

"Yes, your honesty. You've never, ever lied to me, Ishaani. You were always a bad liar whenever you tired, but you've never lied to me. And so I want you tell me the truth. What's eating at you, Ishaani? Why do you need the distance today when you couldn't stay away from me for even a moment up until yesterday? What are you hiding from me?"

Ishaani's eyes widened at the question as Ranveer pushed away her fingers from upon her lips that had now began to tremble. Shaking her head at him stubbornly, her smile grew teary as she took his hand into her own and kissed it softly.

"I love you, Ranveer. I love you so much... That's always been the biggest truth of my life. I love you too much to lose you again, Ranveer. And I don't want to lose you... I don't want anything to go wrong this time. I won't be able to take it."

"Ishaani, I'm here. Trust me, I'm here. Nothing stands in between us now," he tried to pacify as he wiped away the tears from upon her face. And yet, the haunted look that had returned into her eyes upon his words made him feel woebegone.

"Except Chirag. As long as he stands in between us, I cannot let go."

"Ishaani, stop crying. You know I cannot see you crying. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to pressurize you into this-" began Ranveer, now feeling harassed as Ishaani turned her face away from him, hugging herself instead. Was she trying to get used to hugging herself when he left? Was she trying to learn how to live without his essence once they would be apart for goodness knew how long?

"I never meant to give you so much pain, Ranveer..." she whispered, more to herself than to Ranveer. He could see the battle raging between her heart and her mind even more clearly than before. He sat upon his knees down on the floor when she refused to meet eyes with him.

"You are the sunshine of my life, Ishaani. Nobody makes me happier than you do. And after what we've shared..."

"I don't want to be the cause of your pain and hurt again, Ranveer," spoke Ishaani in a decisive voice that cracked when Ranveer kissed her hand softly, shutting her eyes as though her heart was being pierced with daggers with every word she spoke.

"And you won't," said Ranveer, every word punctuated with a strength that caught Ishaani's attention in spite of herself. She sighed and let her arms fall upon his shoulder tiredly, now holding on to him for support. Ranveer sensed that she was close to collapsing.

"But what do I do of my guilt, Ranveer? I trust you with my eyes closed but I don't trust myself anymore. How can I ask you to trust me and love me if I can't trust and love myself first?" asked Ishaani of him as she shook her head, her weak attempt at a smile going down the drain when she saw the tear fall from Ranveer's eyes.

Knowing that the conversation had ended up in the same circle they'd begun from, Ranveer kissed her forehead lovingly before standing up, his heart feeling a numbing ache it hadn't felt in a long, long time. Every step he took away from her felt like a step he was taking away from her forever, and yet he knew he had to keep walking the length for there was no stopping now. He had to do it for her because she wouldn't understand even if he told her that he knew about Chirag. When would life stop playing such cruel games, his tired heart wondered as the soft music continued to play.

Ranveer's feet came to an abrupt halt as the song's lyrics reverberated in the air in a grace that made his heart bleed. His eyes shut upon the words, no longer trying to stop his tears anymore. The lyrics stung his heart as though the song was meant to speak of their farewell in the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful way it was sung in, the pain only increasing with every word.

The next moment, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulder from behind, her tear-stained plea reached him before her sobs did.

"Don't go, Ranveer. Please..." she whispered as Ranveer let his hands fall upon the door in support, unwilling to look at Ishaani anymore. He wouldn't be able to pull through the night if he did. And even though he silently cried through the pain, Ranveer found his restraint break the next moment when Ishaani continued to hold on to him as though for dear life.

"I don't want you to leave ever again... I may even manage to survive without you, but I will never be able to live without you," begged Ishaani when Ranveer remained silent, slithering in between the gap between him and the door before hugging him as tightly as she could.

Both of them slumped upon the floor as Ishaani's back dragged against the door, Ranveer's arms circling around hers to break her fall. Nothing mattered to them anymore except each other, the pain of the impending farewell killing them with all its might. Two hearts bled as one against the door that night while their souls held on to each other's together like never before. The pangs of pain, fear and guilt scorched against their battle-worn souls brutally, leaving them devoid of any feeling except their unconditional love that coursed through their veins thicker than blood.

A love they knew would be their death one day soon.

Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D

Next chapter:
Chapter 29